[SHED4THEWEDD]

Hi - I am new and just looking for some support and info if anyone has experienced this.

I came down with the flu for about 2 weeks. After the flu was over, I still felt drained and did not feel like doing anything but laying around all day - fast forward nearly 2 months and I was still feeling the same way. I found that I got into a serious rut of not wanting to do anything which made me feel depressed. Although I don't know if I already felt depressed which made me not want to do anything for that long. My mother just kept saying, its because you are fat - you gained too much weight because I am stressing you out.

Now while I am the primary caregiver of my mother(stroke, diabetes, fractured knee, insatiable emotional/physical/financial appetite) I do not feel like this should be enough to stress me out causing weight gain and depression. I see plenty of people that take this task on with ease. Her care during the time I was zonked out never suffered - I still managed to make her 3 meals daily, meds, and dr's appts - but pretty much if it didn't have anything to do with her during this period - I wasn't fully engaged. I even stopped attending school.

At the current time, I have 'snapped out of it' long enough to join a gym, and start taking b12 vitamins for energy. Are there any other tips that you have to help me get up and go before I turn to anti-depressants? I just want to be my normal happy self again.

Thanks to anyone that reads.

[Sheridan]

Hi,
First of all congrats on your desire to make things better. Caregiving is a really difficult endeavor as I have found out the hard way. I think the people who seem to do it effortlessly are "Faking it until they make it" Because it can be so draining. What has helped me is realizing that the situation is stressful and I need to manage that stress. For me it is carving out "Just me time" During this time I do something nice for myself whether it is quietly reading or engaging in retail therapy by going shopping.
I also have had to accept that I can not solve all problems and therefore I hold no guilt that I cannot do everything.I applaud myself that I am doing my best and if someone feels I should more than that is their problem.

You will find what nourishes you and soothes your stress and when this happens life will be so much easier . All the best.

Sheridan

[PlumBlossom]

Of course, you should consider your own health/talk to a doctor/whatever feels right for you.... but when I was in a funk like that I started take Sam-E (which is available over the counter) and I felt SO much better. It's a substance that naturally occurs in your body but if your levels or low, you can have mild depression and a general lack of "umph". It helped so much and kept me from exploring my next step - anti-depressants. And, it works faster than them too. After the fact, I talked to a doctor about it and he thought it was great and says that some people have really fantastic results using it (I was taking 400-800 mg). It's not cheap and Sam-E is sensitive so get the kind where the pills are in foil wrap. Target carries it and so does most grocery stores. Both occasionally have it on BOGO so I stock up then. I no longer take it daily, just once or twice a year for a week or two if I am having a bit of a rough patch.

At the same time, I also started taking fish oil, at the doctors suggestion, and found that it was also helpful.

Hang in there...

[4star]

That sounds like caregiver burnout. Is there anyone who can help you care for her? If you are doing all of this you need a check-up to make sure your own health isn't suffering under the strain.

[LastYearOver200]

Any siblings? You need a break. At least once a week would be nice. Just time for you.

[LightRaven]

Care giving, just like raising a child, is a full time job all on it's own. We moved my grandmother here from Arizona in December and it has been a downhill battle from there. She ended up in the hospital with low oxygen levels in the beginning of January- once they got her stable, she was in rehab for weeks, trying to get her mobility restored. She just came home last Friday. This morning I was waken up by the sound of 6 firemen and paramedics stomping around upstairs. At 6AM. My grandmother was barely conscious. Back in the hospital. She has a "touch" of pneumonia... whatever that means. Apparently she is in stage four of COPD (we are so confused as to how she got to stage four after being in stage one 6 months ago)

Anyway... my mom primarily does most of the care giving. And because of this, she has become a zombie. Forgetting things, she has no interest in any kind of family interaction... If she is not doing for my grandmother, she zones out in front of the computer and talks to a guy she has been seeing. I do think she needs time for herself, but I have found that I'm picking up the slack, and I feel like the roles have been reversed in my house. It's crazy. I'm failing miserably at it. I work full time, am a single mommy, and well. That in itself is two full time jobs. The walls keep crumbling!

Ugh.

Anyway... you might feel better if you get out of the house for you time. Go to the hair salon and get a hair cut... just schedule a little be of "me" time in each day. Vitamins can be a good idea. Some people with minor depression also recommend St. Johns Wort. And I know it's hard, but it's hard to feel good, when you don't take care of your self. And you don't feel like taking care of yourself because you feel depressed. Catch 22. But try to break the cycle and hopefully that will start to lift your spirits!

LR

[JOLINA]

What perks up some people is raw pumpkin seeds. You just eat 2 tablespoons daily.
They are sold at health food stores and at Trader Joe's.
They have no shells. They have to be the raw ones.
They are also called Pepitos.
It is an old Indian remedy. They also give you energy, and your dry skin will go away too.

I had a friend who started eating them when he turned 90. He was tired all the time.
They perked him right up and he could work all day in his yard and not get tired.

Maybe you have a condition caused by the flu. There is a website... flutrackers.com . Maybe they can be of help.


A tablespoon of dark molasses every day might be of some help also. It is highly nutritious.
Search for 'molasses remedies' in the internet.