I am not sure if I am the only one that feels this way and if it's even "real" or just my perception of things. I have noticed that people seem to approach me more now and will talk to me and wave or smile now. Is this because I am thinner and more "socially acceptable"? OR is it just me? Do I think people talk to me now because of what I weigh? Maybe I wasn't as approachable when I was heavier because I was clearly uphappy with who I was and what I was doing to my body.
Now I am definitely happier and maybe that is what others see and maybe they are just responding to who I am now! Happier - not thinner! I would hope that was the case - yanno?
I'm not sure if it is just because you are thinner, but more because you exude happiness more.
I'm still heavy, but I'm happier lately. So when I'm just out and about I find myself smiling more, walking with my head held up and not pointed to the ground etc. I also have been getting more smiles, waves and hello. I'm no where near my goal and far from thin lol
So I say it's 80% happier, 20% thinner. or 90/10. either way
I have to agree with Shy. I think it's that you feel better about yourself and people can see that. You carry yourself differently now that you're proud of what you look like and that's what becomes more approachable.
I definitely get more male attention (even casual conversation/hello's) when I am under about 220. It is striking. And I am pretty sure it is not me being more confident, as I have felt pretty great about myself for awhile now. When I was 240ish I'd say hello and people would WALK PAST ME. Rude. Now people will come up and talk to me when I am just minding my business looking for a can of peas or something.
Location: Purdue University area, near West Lafayette, IN
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyn2007
I definitely get more male attention (even casual conversation/hello's) when I am under about 220. It is striking. And I am pretty sure it is not me being more confident, as I have felt pretty great about myself for awhile now. When I was 240ish I'd say hello and people would WALK PAST ME. Rude. Now people will come up and talk to me when I am just minding my business looking for a can of peas or something.
Reasons for others being more open and friendly are likely ALL the above, depending on the particular individuals. But no matter, they really are. I have noticed it too! It seems that people are more respectful. But I am, with no doubt, more open and friendly too because my confidence level has taken me from hiding behind that crazy curtain. I realized -- I LOVE people, but had been avoiding them any time possible. So, I do think the real difference is more about me. Wow. Now, I don't avoid people and situations. What a marvelous freedom I have been able to reclaim!
when it comes down to a question of "has the whole world changed, or have I" it's usually ME I'd say you're walking a little taller, smiling more, have more confidence, all the things people like to see and talk to!
I don't know - I've wondered the same thing. People are nicer to me, too. Maybe it's because I am not as overweight as I was? Maybe its my confidence? A little of both? I don't know, but I don't think you're imagining it. I've noticed the same thing.
I really do think that it's about what you project.
I'm still FA-AT, but I smile at people all the time when I'm out, and always get a good response, and have friendly chit chat with strangers.
I think it's because you're feeling so great...people can see confidence
In my experience there may be a slight shift in male appreciation, but in terms of general social interactions? Be happy and approachable and people will happily approach you - I think your happiness and confidence boost is 90% of the equation, with the rest being that your appearance is now more 'typical', to their perception.
I've noticed that I get more response, quicker responses and friendlier responses from store cashiers and clerks when I'm thinner...not slender, just thinner....around 200lbs. People make more eye contact, too. And, I am always friendly and outgoing......fat or slender or in-between! I don't suffer from lack of self confidence. Anyone who knows me well will tell you. LOL. As much as we don't like to admit it, fat intolerance and discrimination is alive and well and lurking in the subconscious of people all around us. It's just a fact of life.
It's all me. When I was almost 400 pounds I projected a huge aura of "back to f*ck off" to anyone I met.. I was afraid of people hurting me so I hurt them first... that attitude is GONE now and that makes life easier for both me and others... so I garner a ton of male attention and have many more people coming up to me because I don't appear to be untouchable anymore.
So it sounds like maybe its a combo of the two. I am sure there ARE people that did look at me in a certain way because of my weight but I definitely feel I am more approachable than I used to be for the most part. Like someone else said I don't stare at my feet or avoid people like I used to do!
Just wondering
I'd say you're walking a little taller, smiling more, have more confidence, all the things people like to see and talk to!
