Basically, I'm insanely stressed and I can't deal. I have a crazy stressful and busy job where I feel mentally abused 99% of the time. My boyfriend moved in w/ me almost 2 months ago and he doesn't help out around the house AT ALL, doesn't help clean up and I have to practically beg him to give me money for rent and bills (he does do it eventually but it just adds extra stress on me).
This Friday I was supposed to go out w/ a friend but I had to cancel because I have things to take care of before I leave to visit family this weekend. So now she's not talking to me. And my sister asked if I could stay with her for the weekend and I said I can't. So she's mad too. I didn't realize that turning down invites is such a terrible thing! People do it to me all the time!!
So NEXT weekend.... I have family coming into town to stay w/ me for the weekend. And the weekend after that my b/f's sister is coming to stay with us for apparently TWO WEEKS. I was originally told it would be a few days. My b/f will be working non-stop so I'm expected to rush home after my crazy day at work and entertain her.
And his witch of a mother is also coming to visit at the same time as his sister. She's not staying with us, and she's not welcome to step foot into our home. She says terrible things about me behind my back even though I've done NOTHING to her. She just doesn't want her son in a relationship because it takes attention away from her. So we will be fighting over this, I'm sure. And the sister is also on her side so this person staying with us will most likey be evil to me as well.
I'm managing a project at work that is going to start getting even crazier over the next month or two, AND my immediate supervisor is coming back from medical leave in a few weeks after being out for 6 months. To say that she is difficult is an understatement. My colleagues and I have literally been having nightmares about her coming back to work. So my days are going to get even worse once she's back in the office.
And at some point I'm supposed to find time to exercise, clean, relax, have some kind of social life, do laundry, go to the bathroom, etc???? My b/f is SO useless in any of these situations. I basically feel like a large percentage of my stress is coming from him and his family and he's doing nothing to help. I don't need this crap! And he's NEVER home. He works all the time. So it's not like I even have the benefit of having someone I love at home. He's like a bad roommate that I never see. I'm ready to end the relationship. I know it's a hasty decision but I can't deal!!!!!!
Yikes! can I say, you are like wonder woman over there, I don't think I'd still be standing with all that on my plate! *hugs* Thats ridiculous that your boyfriend is treating you like you're his mom, having you do all the chores and having to be nagged to pay bills, provide entertainment (and room and board) for his family that doesn't even like you...I think if it were me (and granted I don't know the whole story) at minimum I would want to move out/ask him to move out if possible. Even if its expensive to break a lease or causes a lot of drama, at least you can give yourself a break at home, where you do have some control over what happens.
Honey, if there is one thing I've learned... it's when my mind is made up it's made up. I put myself on the back burner for a long time. Sometimes to spare someone else's feelings and all it did was do more damage to me.
If you feel like the time is up and the burden needs to go... kick his a$$ to the curb. Living with someone (be it roommate, boyfriend, husband, wife, sister, parents, etc) is a TEAM effort. Everyone has to pitch in...
If he can't respect you enough to help you or to even TALK to you about things around the house, his family coming around.... then he doesn't deserve you paying the bills, cleaning up after him, etc.
I say get rid of him... then you'll def have time to focus on YOU.
My thoughts echo those that have already been shared. Ask the bf to move out and tell him that his sister is not welcome in your home. Work sucks but it sounds like you might get some support from your coworkers for when your supervisor returns. Oh, and we are here for you!
Ditch the dude! He sounds like a drag! Boyfriends should be great to come home to- not miserable.. Good luck with everything on your plate, though. Just take one thing at a time and don't forget to take care of yourself first. But seriously, tell the guy to move out!
Get rid of the bf. It sounds like his mother doesn't like you, his sister doesn't like you, and the bf doesn't respect you, even if he 'loves' you. I personally would never put up with that. I just think like in the future, I would not want inlaws that make me feel mentally insane. Love is blind but you should never be blinded by love.
You don't need the added stress. Do what you think is right. You should not live your life around stress and let it consume you. If you want to fix the relationship with your bf's mother maybe you can get close to the sister and ask why her mother doesn't like you, but don't just blurt it out like that just say "hey..i think your mom doesn't like me and i don't know what i can do to make sure everyones happy" I don't know but it is up to you on what you do :/ Goodluck girl
Nobody needs that much stress in their life.. certainly not added stress from someone else. My mother in law didn't like me at first, but it got better, so I know that sucks BUT she never talked bad about me. That would not be acceptable. I would want to know what her deal was especially since you didn't do anything to her personally.
Since the place is yours I would say no to the sister and possible tell the BF to go. He isn't helping you, just making things harder for you. If my DH didn't help out aruond the house we would have serious problems. Its team work when it comes to living together and making things run smoothly. Can't be one sided.
How long were you with your boyfriend before you moved in together? Why did he move in with you? If you haven't tried talking to him about it maturely and rationally, then do that. If you have and he's unresponsive, what are you doing with someone like that who doesn't respect what you have to say?
And what's with your friend? Did you explain to her why you couldn't go out? If you did and she's pissed, then it sounds like she just needs to grow up. Just give her time; if she doesn't come around and realize that you have your own life and your own needs, it's going to be difficult to maintain the friendship anyway.
From the picture you paint, your boyfriend sounds like a freeloader. Tell your boy that if he doesn't come through like an adult at the end of the month when everything--rent, bills--is due, then you'll be placing an ad to find a new roommate. And prove you're not bluffing--have the ad written and ready to go. You've really got to put on blinders and not pander to any ridiculous arguments or insults made by him or his family.
Obviously we only got one side of the picture, but I think the key here is to step back and really objectively look at the situation. You don't have an obligation to anyone but yourself.
Please help... I'm losing my mind!
