I'm really having a hard time enjoying going out to eat anymore. How do the rest of you feel about restaurants?
Story:
Last night I got home later because of an errand I had to run and my SO (significant other) had gotten busy and not cooked anything for dinner. (He is usually great about cooking for us!) I was famished by the time I got home and caught in a dilemma. Make something quick? Go out to eat? And if we went out to eat would I make it an off plan dinner or try to figure out some place to go where I could eat something that conformed with my new diet modification.
I decided to try to find something in my plan so I started with some online searching of nutrition information. This leads me to the first frustration about eating out. I really, really prefer interesting mom and pop restaurants or ethic food but I've found that a lot of those places don't provide calorie info! Chili's seemed like they had some options that would work for me so we decided to go there.
We ended up having to wait 10 minutes for a table. I asked for nutrition information from the hostess and a manager came by with some within minutes. (Yay, for them!) The server comes to the table and offers us drinks and an appetizer and my S.O. jumps on ordering chips and salsa without thinking about it. I was struck with this jolt of panic! Out came this HUGE pile of greasy tortilla chips while I was really hungry. I ended up eating some of them though I really didn't want to. I was really hungry! I could have ate and ate and ate, but I didn't.
It was nice that Chili had some "Guiltless Grill" items on their menu which were things low in fat and calories or versions of some of their items with less fat. I got a combo with Margarita Chicken and Lime Shrimp with a double side of steamed vegetables no oil. The whole dinner supposedly came to 390 calories, but it was a lot of food I bet there was more! I was stuffed and ate too much. (Yay, for a smaller stomach!) I also couldn't resist snagging a french fry off of my S.O.'s plate. I wasn't really enjoying dinner as much as I would have liked though. When the big basket of chips left the table I immediately relaxed. I think that was part of it.
It opened up a good convo with the S.O., but I felt awful having to have it. I basically told him that I didn't care what he ordered for his plate, but we really needed to discuss if we got an appetizer. He ended up feeling bad about ordering the chips and his menu choice when I asked for a french fry even though I didn't even mention that. He told me that he wanted to HELP me not hinder me. (I really didn't want him to feel bad at all. He is just such a sweetie!)
It all was really tough for me because we used to go out to eat (more than we should have) and order whatever we wanted. There isn't a lot to do around here and we love food so it became a fun, entertaining thing for us to do. It wouldn't be rare for us to split an appetizer or desert (sometimes both) and get whatever we wanted as an entree. I'd love to try new restaurants or try new dishes at restaurants. Something that was fun and enjoyable has become stressful for me!
A lot of times as well the things that I get at restaurants that seem safe or have lower calories I feel that I could have just made at home and had more control over how much fat was added to the dish. I'm not feeling as if I'm getting a special treat when I got out anymore. Part of my anxiety about eating out also might stem from not having control over how my food is prepared and not knowing how much fat is being used to cook.
Sorry for the long anxious, rant. I just really needed to get all that off my chest!
That was a very patient rant! I'll bet most of us have been in the same situation. I know I started my long weight regain by dining out late at night one year, because we would go to see a movie and then go out to dinner afterwards. Eating restaurant meals AND eating them at midnight did me in.
It is easier to eat at home, and eat only food you prepare yourself, so as not to have to deal with prepared foods with misleading labels, etc., but ideally, I think it's good to learn to deal with eating out. Never go hungry is one rule we often read -- not easy to do, in your case, unless you have a basket of fruit by the door, or baby carrots in the fridge, or something you can eat before you head out the door.
I had lunch out yesterday and got what I thought would be a good choice: a grilled vegetable panini. It had lots of vegetables -- eggplant, portabellos, red pepper, asparagus -- a little cheese, and, unfortunately, I don't think it had been grilled in Pam Back to the drawing board.
I used to find it nerve-wracking to eat out, until I tried a few suggestions that my Weight Watchers leader gave me.
(1) Ask for the food WHATEVER WAY you want it. If you want the fish pan seared with no butter, instead of deep fried, ask for it. If you want a side of veggies steamed, ask for it. If you want no bread basket, tell them. If you need more time to look at the menu, say so. You are the customer. I feel like as long as you're polite and patient, you should be able to request anything that's on the menu, done to your liking. If they aren't capable of preparing it the way you want, they'll tell you, and you can figure out what to do next.
(2) Ask about portion sizes. If the waiter or waitress suggests it's a large portion, or even "a good size", consider asking them to pack up half of your meal in a to-go box before they even bring it to the table. I was nervous to do this the first time, but the waitress was great about it, and since then I've done that a lot. It's like getting two meals, and I'm not tempted to overeat what is already fairly indulgent food.
(3) Share. Ask your friend or partner if they would like to share a meal with you, or get a couple of appetizers instead of mains, and share with each other. It's cheaper, and a little nicer on your waistline too.
As for coming home and being ravenous, there's absolutely no need for that. Stock your kitchen with healthy snacks. Fresh fruit, or have cut up veggies and have low cal salad dressing in the fridge if you like that for dipping, keep cottage cheese in the fridge and have a few bites of that until you can compose yourself and aren't too hungry to cook. Seriously, losing weight is already so hard! One of the ways to make it easier is to be prepared. I make time to plan meals a few at a time, and none of them take more than 30-40 min to prepare. If I'm hungry when I get home, which is rare since I have a small snack late in the afternoon to avoid this, I grab some raw veggies and low cal dip, or have half a banana or something.
As a sidebar - if there isn't a lot to do where you live, and you both like food, have you thought about doing some cooking together? It can still be a nice treat, even though it's you prepping the food, if you get some really yummy ingredients and try out new recipes. Just a thought.
I practice portion control and everything in moderation as my diet plan, so going out to eat isn't as stressful as it used to be when I was following X diet that restricted me from eating certain foods. What really scares me now is the bread basket or the chips basket. I'm a carb addict and breads and chips are my FAVORITE foods ever. So that's always difficult... In any case, here are some general tips I use when I go out to eat with friends:
a. Order grilled meats, or if not available, double up on the veggies (preferably steamed).
b. Share with partner
c. Physically divide the meal into two. Push one half to the side of the plate and work on the second half.
d. Mentally remind yourself to take a sip of water every 2 bites. This helps me feel full faster.
Some of these you already did, which is great. I think it's a good idea to face these situations throughout your journey. It helps prepare you better for maintenance.
When I lived in America it was a lot easier to control my weight because I could order anything the way that I wanted it. I ate out several times a week because I did not cook, ever.
When I was in the mood for something naughty I would have an appetizer as main, or share a main with a friend.
Because I still eat out a few times a week. I've actually learned to make eating out more about experiencing the people I am with than it being about the food. I'll often have salad for a starter and a salad for main with the dressing on the side if there is nothing else on the menu that fits my plan. I don't mind and I enjoy it because I know I'm being good to my body and I'm enjoying the company.
I agree with you on larger chains providing nutritional info. I do wish smaller places offered it. But, I always order on the safe side with them.
I don't have a problem with restaurants, for chains I usually look at their nutrition info online and decide what I want. For the smaller places I will order stuff within reason like grilled chicken, sauces on the side, salad instead of fries.I don't really worry about the calories because friday and Saturday are the days I normally go out and have cheat days.I also eat slower so I don't get stuffed. That's the one thing that has changed with me since starting to eat well, I hate the feeling of being very full.I used to be scared not to be full.
Unless there is something specifically low cal/low(er) fat, I tend to order an appetizer instead of an entree. Even when it's something healthy and I try to specify how it's prepared, it's still generally more calories than something I'd make for myself at home. So even with eating half an entree, having the second half means another meal where I'm pushing the limit on my food. So I'd rather just have the small portion, eat as much of it as I want, even if that's the whole thing, and then leave without having another higher calorie/fat meal a day or two later.
Just because you request a to-go box doesn't mean you have to take it with you: just portion the food in half, eat your half, and walk off and leave the rest. You paid 9.99 or whatever for the experience--eating a bunch of calories you neither need nor want won't bring any of that money back.
I like restaurants and look forward to eating out on Sat or Sun. It take a calorie counting break, order something I like and have a good time. It's a date night for us.
But it helps that I don't really go to chains much and its more fine dining than casual dining.
If it is a chain I look up the nutrition online, and focus on my entree. If I plan on appetizzer or dessert, it is to share with all.
But we don't hit restaurants on stressful nights. I try to keep a stack of frozen in the garage for that.
Maybe that was part of your emotions? That is was stressful to start and going out to eat just compounded it instead of alleviated it?
I didn't think of grabbing something before I left because I wasn't expecting a huge mound of greasy chips in front of me before I got my entree!
I've been thinking about this a lot today and contemplating what you all have said. I've been really excited about trying out new recipes and ways to cook at home. I don't feel like I'm deprived I just am finding different and new ways to prepare tasty food. Also, I never really bought a lot of junk before I started the diet. (Though I have to confess to the occasional box of mac n' cheese or ramen noodles.)
I think one of the things that is making going out to eat less enjoyable is that I really like being spontaneous. Get in the car, decide on the way, order something new (even if it is horribly fatty and not so good for me). Now to make sure I stay on my plan I'm having to research ahead of time and really carefully consider my choices and skip dessert. Going out with my S.O. was my time to splurge and have something wonderfully decadent that proceeded to accumulate on my hips. I would eat things at restaurants that I would never prepare at home. If I had to add that much butter or oil to my food I couldn't eat it without feeling guilty. But at a restaurant I could be blissfully ignorant. (Sort of). Even some of the things that COULD be healthy restaurants make high calorie and it is frustrating to me now.
I think the part of me that wants to be spontaneous and carefree is really rebelling right now. (More like throwing an internal tamper tantrum.) Eating out was an area in which I never forced myself to be disciplined and quite frankly I DON'T WANNA!
I do recognize how childish it is though and I do want to change. It is a big part of what made me overweight and kept me there. I just need to put on my big girl panties and deal with it. I want to be skinnier after all!
I try to order things in restaurants that I wouldn't cook at home whenever possible. Its slightly easier for me because my SO doesn't like fish/sea food, so its an easy, typically healthier option when eating out.
I think you have to think of new wants to get that "decadent" feeling. You're sitting in a nice, air conditioned room. Someone is delivering beverages on demand. Someone is being paid to be friendly and helpful to you. You can order a healthy option and have it presented on a lovely plate where you only had to flip through a menu to get it. Someone will clear those dishes and wash them when you leave. Think about all of the lovely people wanting to make a meal for you. This, to me, feels just as decadent as thousands of extra calories.
It sounds like your blood sugar went low from going too long without eating and you got ravenous. An apple or some almonds before could help calm that feeling down of wanting to eat everything in sight. Do you ever notice the longer you go without eating, the more food it takes to make you feel full? Food will also taste better when you don't eat for awhile making you want to eat more of it.
I think you can still be spontaneous when going out to eat. Most restaurants are aware people are being more health conscious. Even if it's not a chain restaurant with a diet menu, I would think a smaller local restaurant could just as easily make you a grilled meat and a salad or some vegetables on the side. Of course you still won't be able to order just anything.
My hubby and I usually split an entree. Or if he's really hungry and wants his own thing, when my plate comes, I ask for a to-go box and split it right then. I have heard others say that when they are full, but there's still food on the plate, dump salt all over it so that you won't continue to eat it.
I usually feel sluggish the day after eating out. I call it a "sodium hangover". Restaurant food is really salty to me. And the scale is not kind to me either (water weight gain).
Oh, how about having something in the freezer for when you are in this situation at home again (no food cooked and no time to cook).
I can eat out, but I calorie count, and none of the restaurants around me post their nutrition content. I have not thought to ask for it, and I will next time, but for now my solution is to not eat out. If I m too tired and hungry to eat when I get home, I eat a big salad or ask around and see if any my my neighbors have cooked veggies I can bum. (I live in a great community!)
The problem comes that my Sweetie likes to eat out and isn't so concerned about his extra waistline. I am constantly telling him I will not go out to eat with him, and he makes me feel guilty for it. which I hate.
When we do go out to eat, I refuse to split anything (even appitizers) with him, cause he likes to order fried food. I simply make it clear that I will not eat those things and stick to my guns, hungry or not. I make sure to order water first and that gives me something to drink while I wait for my food.
I usually feel sluggish the day after eating out. I call it a "sodium hangover". Restaurant food is really salty to me. And the scale is not kind to me either (water weight gain).
LOL, I like the term "sodium hangover". We cut back big time on eating out and I stopped buying the junk food. I cook 95% of everything we eat from scratch and I reduced the salt I put in all meals. I was having some scary chest pains in December/early January. As soon as I cut out the chips and salt and the eating out, the pains went away completely.
Anyway, sorry for the tangent... getting back on track... I can NOT tolerate almost any food served at a restaurant. All I taste is salt. I now hate eating out. I hate not having control over my food. I hate it when the server forgets my water and I end up choking to death. If I need something like a lemon wedge, I can't just jump up, go to the kitchen, and grab it. I hate paying 10-11% sales/sin tax to Crook County, and I do it, but I hate tipping 15 to 20% for crappy service (usually service is FANTASTIC in my area but I hate the occasional crappy service).
So I'm sure I sound like a grouch, but I'm very polite when we do dine out, and we do our best to enjoy and have a good time. I'm just finding that a meal at home followed by a walk or a card game to be more enjoyable "entertainment" than dining out anymore. And I use to LOVE dining out.
Coping with Restaurants
I just really needed to get all that off my chest!
Back to the drawing board.
I don't mind and I enjoy it because I know I'm being good to my body and I'm enjoying the company. 
which I hate.
