This topic comes up fairly often at 3FC. Many posters feel gravely misunderstood. I've chosen some definitions from dictionary.com that I felt reflected what I've been reading in threads just lately.
choice - something that is preferred or preferable to others; the best part of something
obsession - the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.
dedication - the act of binding yourself (intellectually or emotionally) to a course of action
How do you feel about these concepts in relation to your weight loss journey? Is there a positive or negative connotation for you? How necessary (or not) are any of them? Has your perception of these concepts changed over time? Anything else? Report your thoughts and feelings here
Hm. I haven't seen a thread where it's been an issue in a while. But here's my take on the topic. I know when I post I do *try* to point out that what I'm about to say works for me, is my choice, is what *I* do, etc.
Unless, of course, it's something that is just flat out harmful. If someone says they're going on a 10 day water fast or eating 500 calories a day to drop weight quickly ...! In that case I tend to leave out any qualifying statements.
So for me:
Choice: My choices are MY choices and I don't force them on anyone. If I post here about my choices, it's to share what has and hasn't worked for me.
Obsession: I think it's easy to become "obsessed" with a plan or a way of life and to not realize that it doesn't work for everyone. OTOH, not everyone who is passionate about what they do is "obsessed". This is one of those emotion laden words that can be easily misused or misunderstood. I try to avoid the use of the word unless it's obvious I'm joking.
Dedication: I think this one also has the possibility of being misunderstood or misused just because I think we're all dedicated in one way or another to losing weight. But one person's dedication is another person's obsession. And one person's range of acceptable variance is another person's lack of dedication. So I think this one ties in very closely with choice ... and respecting other's choices as long as they're not unhealthy choices.
well, this is funny because my DH recently has been saying that i have become obsessed with my weight loss and working out. I feel that this is a negative thing. I think I am dedicated to being a healthier person and a happier person. which in turn will make me a better wife and mother. As for choice. I make choices every minute of every day. It makes me feel in control when I tell myself " you can choose what goes into your body", "you can choose to either sit on the couch all day, or get up and be active". I think that choice and determination are very essential in my life style change and my health. I feel very angry when someone tells me I am being obsessive with it.
I think a lot of people who aren't being healthy and who know they aren't don't want to feel guilty about it, so they push that guilt back on you (or me or us, whoever). It's easier to say "you're being obsessive" than to admit that they should be making similar changes to their lifestyles to be healthier.
I think that, a lot of times, people here and in the real world used "obsessed" a bit too loosely, usually to refer to "passionate".
Obsession has negative connotations in a big way, and usually gets used in my experience when people want to somehow deprecate the decisions people are making toward being healthier. While that is waranted sometimes (when someone is using an unsafe weight loss method or is teetering toward disordered behavior), it isn't warranted nearly as often as I've heard it used (particularly OUTSIDE of the boards and weight loss community).
I am passionate about eating healthy foods, giving veggies a chance, and putting limits on food intake as ways to promote weight loss. I'm also passionate about sharing those views, mostly because I remember what it was like to be new to the weight loss world with no idea what to do, and feel like providing my viewpoint as one possible viewpoint might help people find their own way.
I don't know how I feel about that definition of "choice". Anyone who has been reading my posts lately is aware of my current "it isn't motivation, it's decisions" mindset. The choices I make aren't always the ones that are preferable or best to me short-term, they're the ones that will help me acheive the long term aims I have set for myself.
Dedication is your commitment to that decision to follow a certain plan. It is DEFINITELY key.
I want to throw another word out there...Motivation. To me, motivation is extremely, totally, and absolutely overrated when it comes to weight loss. You just don't need it (unlike commitment and dedication), and maybe a little bit of passion.
If obsession and dedication are used to refer to basically the same thing except in negative and positive degrees (a big assumption), then I would think it's dedication when it's serving you well, and obsession when it's getting in your way.
Julie makes a good point about things being good for you or detrimental. We often talk about brushing our teeth. There are several things I do every day without fail and nobody thinks I'm obsessed.
If portion control is important to my health, at what point does calorie counting become an obsession?
at what point does calorie counting become an obsession?
I think anything becomes an obsession when you let it rule you to the point that you are unable to enjoy anything else w/out worrying about your obsession.
If you must brush your teeth after every meal, that's dedication. If you get so freaked out by not being able to brush your teeth after you eat something that you refuse to eat, that's obsession.
If you log everything you eat and watch your calories very carefully, that's dedication. If you become more concerned with the amount of calories you're eating than anything else - up to and including possibly your own health and welfare, that's obsession.
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Last edited by PhotoChick; 10-16-2008 at 03:48 PM.
I believe "they" say that obsession comes a "problem" when it overtakes your life in a negative sense. That you are neglecting other (important) parts of your life.
I understand what you are all saying about obsession being a negative word and it is used too freely. Dedicated is certainly a nicer and more apt word. But if someone were to call me obsessed and yes it's happened, I'm fairly okay with it. I am proud of my "dedication" to my health.
I have gotten the "gosh she's crazy look" many, MANY times. And sooo many comments, like "How in the world do I live like that?" And I think that's kind of sad. If G-d forbid I were a diabetic and I needed to carefully monitor everything that went in my mouth, nobody would for a single solitary second think I was "crazy" OR "obesesed".
Why can't/don't people see this is the same exact thing? That closely monitoring my food intake and exercising is just as vital to my health and my well being as that of a diabetic?
Last edited by rockinrobin; 10-16-2008 at 03:56 PM.
Robin reminds me of "choice" and for good reason. I'm so appreciative of her dedication to making good choices whenever a decision needs to be made.
Her posts remind me that there is no 'once in a lifetime' decision to lose weight and become healthier. Every day we are faced with choices and must make the one that keeps us on the right track.
Is there an old saying that goes something like "if you wander without a map, you may just end up nowhere"?
Robin reminds me of "choice" and for good reason. I'm so appreciative of her dedication to making good choices whenever a decision needs to be made.
Thanks for the vote of confidence Susan. I do hate to burst your bubble though. You should have seen me this past weekend while I attended 4 different parties. I certainly made some good choices, but I can assure you that not all of my choices were good ones. Not by a long shot. There was pasta involved. In a, dare I say? yikes - cream sauce, no less. And then there was chocolate. And then there was - yes - CHEEESECAKE It wasn't pretty. Whatever. But those were the choices that I made on those particular days. Luckily they are a rarity, but nevertheless I of course have to pay the consequences for it.
As far as moderation, I know for me, I must, must, MUST keep my health, my weight a very top priority in order for it to "work" for me. It's just the way I am. I don't do moderation well. I can't "moderately/quasi" watch my weight.
I really have started to look at maintaining my weight as a lifelong health issue, a chronic condition, that I will always have to deal with and closely monitior. Yup, just like the diabetic. I take it very seriously.
Last edited by rockinrobin; 10-16-2008 at 05:04 PM.
Yup, it's a point Dr. Phil (not my all time favorite diet guru, but it's a good point) makes is that motivation will never get you through, it's changing your habits, your lifestyle and - well - just doing it. Try not to put yourself in temptation's way whenever possible. To avoid pre-dinner snacking, he talks about breaking a habit of walking through the kitchen as soon as you get home, but rather going to another room and getting involved in something that doesn't involve food. For those of us who are the dinner preparers, it really helps to have some veggies to snack on. I sometimes eat my salad in pieces while I'm cooking..... DH gets his with his meal.
Choice: My choices are MY choices and I don't force them on anyone. If I post here about my choices, it's to share what has and hasn't worked for me.
Obsession: I think it's easy to become "obsessed" with a plan or a way of life and to not realize that it doesn't work for everyone. OTOH, not everyone who is passionate about what they do is "obsessed". This is one of those emotion laden words that can be easily misused or misunderstood. I try to avoid the use of the word unless it's obvious I'm joking.
Dedication: I think this one also has the possibility of being misunderstood or misused just because I think we're all dedicated in one way or another to losing weight. But one person's dedication is another person's obsession. And one person's range of acceptable variance is another person's lack of dedication. So I think this one ties in very closely with choice ... and respecting other's choices as long as they're not unhealthy choices.
FWIW.
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Not being lazy here but you've just about read my mind on this one. I agree with everything you're saying.
I think motivation is a great thing to cultivate. Absolutely, you can't depend on it. You have to *know* what you *depend* on. But I think it's a waste not to do whatever you can to also cultivate motivation. It makes it all easier, and that's a good thing.
In other words, I'm gonna do it, one way or another. That's my commitment. But if it can be easier and more pleasant, I'm all over that too.
Choice, Obsession And Dedication
It wasn't pretty. Whatever. But those were the choices that I made on those particular days. Luckily they are a rarity, but nevertheless I of course have to pay the consequences for it.
