[abbey92]

Hello all,

I have decided to write in here today because I am quite clear headed today and feel I can somewhat rationally explain my "life story" as it relates to my depression and weight, and whatever happens to come up as I rant and rave.

I have read an number of people's stories on here and felt that I would add mine to add that there is yet another person out there who is not alone and let those who are feeling alone, know they aren't alone.

I was a "normal" kid. I was actually quite scrawny and then began to fill out (not get fat) throughout my teen years. I always loved salty snacks, but really, I was far more interested in boys to actually spend any time thinking about food the way that I do now.

Fast forward to about 20 years old. I am now out in the real world and working different shifts, full time and am now eating whatever I want, whenever I want as I am an "adult". I am still interested in men, but my self-esteem seems to have started going down the tubes. I think I always had self-esteem issues, but they just began rearing their ugly heads around this time. I for some reason didn't really have a boyfriend or anyone that had any real interest in me, and that wass hard on a gal's ego. So, although it was gradual, I started to gain weight and then my emotions just went downhill and I spiralled into a depression. I could cry at just about anything. I refused to take any medication to help me, but it just came to a point where I didn't have any other options. So, although I got a lot of my feelings of depression under control, I had already started as an "emotional eater" and not even those pills could stop that.

So, I have been eating my way through the past 10-12 years. I have gone on a couple of different diet plans and lost about 30 pounds and then I get all full of myself and think that I can allow myself some leeway and then I fall off the wagon and get back to my old eating habits. So, at my heaviest weight this year, I was starting to feel like I was about to burst out of my skin. And I am married now and am not even comfortable with my husband touching me, and I mean just casual around the waist or whatever. And my hips started to hurt, my stomach was upset a lot... it just all started to snowball which took a toll on my control, not that it felt like much, over my depression. It's one thing when it affects you, but when it starts to affect you and all of those around you, it's time to take a step back and figure out how far you are going to let this go, and if you can take control yourself or if you need outside interventions.

Finally, I decide to take drastic measures and for me, that was going on the Dr B program. IT is very expensive, (and my husband and I don't make a lot of money) but I needed something that would show me serious results in order to feel successful with my weight loss and personally. It sounds sad, but I just feel like I have such a big battle to fight that it's almost beyond my realm.

Anyway, I have rambled on enough today. I could probably write all night, but I won't. Take care everyone.

[monie6568]

Just curious what is the Dr B diet? I thought I had heard them all but that is a new one. And, how are you doing on it? You sound about like me I am an emotional eater, food is always there for me when "people" are not....good luck in the diet.....

[abbey92]

It's the Dr Stanley Bernstein diet. It is a diet that began in Ontario, Canada, but the doctor has started a few clinics in the states, Florida for sure...I am not sure where else. You eat low carb, take potassium supplements and go 3 times a week to get b6/12 injections and bring in urine to make sure you are in ketosis. It sounds quite involved, but I need something very strict and regimented in order to be successful these days, so I went for it. I think you can look the diet up on google if you are interested, but for some reason I don't think they have a clinic in Arkansas.

Good to know I am not alone as an emotional eater. It makes me feel good, I wish it wouldn't make me fat!!!

[hope4me]

Thanks for sharing. Feel free to join us on our Weekly Chat thread.

[chickennugget126]

abbey,
thanks so much for sharing your story. I, too, battle with depression and sometimes I can't help but feel like I have a harder time with life... I totally relate to your feelings of low self-esteem and feeling uncomfortable in your skin... I, too, lost a bunch of weight at one point, then binge ate for about 6 months (probably because we had restricted ourselves so much) and now a year later, I'm back at the same weight I started, and then some. It is SO disappointing and discouraging to start from zero.
I am back on a "diet" of eating healthy portions and trying to exercise a few times a week. My main goal is to stop binge eating.
I just wanted to share my story and let you know you are definitely not alone in your battle.

[KateB]

Emotional eaters unite!! IF hubby and I aruged...I raided the fridge, If I was board that was time for ice cream, if I was sad break out the chips, if it was a happy occasion call everyone over and start cooking!!!

Have I conquered it...not by a long shot!! Do I have some controll over it...YES I DO!!!

I tell myself (sometimes several times a day) I cannot control what others say or do, but I can control how I react and what I eat.

Good Luck on your journey!!!