Glbt?
 

Just wondering if there's anyone else who's "out" and doesn't mind sharing and all.

I'm out. I'm a bisexual and in a LT relationship with my boyfriend, AB. We have a real closed-minded LBGT community out here so I don't really participate much. Typical, "There is no such thing as bi" attitude.

glbt friendly. considered myself bi since high-school - wound up marrying a man which while surprised at the time - I am very happy about :) I remember the feeling of not quite fitting in highschool when i first came out. lost some straight friends. my gay friends were supportive but I think there is always a feeling of - pick one.
I just felt like I would never not be with someone because of their race or culture - so why would I hinder myself to one gender? I mean, it's hard enough to find someone to love and make it work with - why cut out so much of the world based on that?

glbt friendly <- I am going with that too. I am straight, but one of my dear, sweet friends (and on going joke of "pretend boyfriend") is gay. Even went to NYC for Gay Pride Weekend 2 years ago - which was a blast, even if all the cute boys had no interest in me. But he moved, so I don't get to see him very often.

I consider myself lesbian, however, I am married to a great guy! I think I always knew I was different than the other girls I was friends with. I remember even as a young child when I was old enough to fantasize , it was usually about woman. However, coming from a very conservative family and not wanting to stir anything up I took the so called "proper" route and dated and eventually married a truely great guy. It just turned out his fantasy and mine were the same. He wanted to see me with a woman and I was very happy to abligue. I have dated a few woman, but now have one whom I am very happy to call my girl. My hubby is so great about it, knowing that I am also in love with her. Unfortunately we do not get to spend as much time together as we would like, but for now it works for us, and I only drive myself crazy thinking of how it could be. I get to have my cake and eat it too. Very lucky girl am I!
Virginia

That's really awesome that you have a husband so supportive.

..I was really scared that no one was going to respond.

I'm bi as well, I've known I was "different" since I was a kid.

Virginia,

How interesting! I'm doing a documentary about polyamory right now.

SuperChar,

Sorry I didn't respond sooner. The above documentary is sucking the life blood out of me right now. I swear I thought I wanted to be a filmmaker but now I'm starting to change my mind. Are you in a relationship now?

i'm bi. i'm married to a poly guy, and i'm vaguely poly. i say vaguely because i have a lot of jealousy issues with it. he started seeing someone last may, and after a lot of drama it turned out to be okay. then she and i developed a mutual crush and i started seeing her too. this is even more complicated because she's part of a triad and her boyfriend had a meltdown in late june. so at the moment she and i are building a relationship and she and chris are building a relationship and when her boyfriend (who also has a girlfriend outside the triad) gets his head out, we'll move on. so yeah, it's complicated -- she ends up in two triads, a primary one (her boyfriend and his wife) and a secondary one (my husband and me). even though her boyfriend has a girlfriend outside the triad, the three of them consider themselve to be in a commitment that's equivalent to them all being married to each other.

i said it was complicated.

i'm lucky, though. both of my sweeties are extremely supportive of me being whatever size i am. they both tell me i'm pretty even though i don't think they're right, and they give me lots of affection and cuddles and love. they know that i'm going to do optifast (my husband's paying for what insurance doesn't cover) and they support me in that, too. i've also got a group of friends that i've known for more than a decade who are behind me in this.

so yeah, i'm bi. it only took me six zillion words to say that. :)

deb

OK- yes I was evesdropping and now I have a question - GLBT? What does that stand for? Big dork that I am.

I have to say I am jealous of all of you that get your cake etc. I am apparently straight though have gotten many offers from women. Being the jealous type - I have avoided the 3 some for fear that #3 and hubby will prefer each other without me. That would suck! But I am curious to the point that once I reach my goal weight - so that self esteem is highest thereby reducing the jealous factor - I just may broch the topic. I am sure hubby wouldnt mind the 2 on 1 or even just watching - of course it would be just sex since it is all I can do to keep 1 relationship going. Beside hubby would be jealous of me spending time with #3 without him. And #3 has to be female for his sake.

Ultimate fantasy includes Hubby's best friend and his wife in a nice 4 some. I know she is willing. I could live with them and the 4 of us would make a nice family, too bad she wont leave her actual family - I know he would love it here.

Blah Blah - that was at least a dime.

Later

Originally Posted by Goddess Jessica:
Virginia,

How interesting! I'm doing a documentary about polyamory right now.

Jessica - I have a question for you. In my experiences with friends/acquaintances who said they were polyamorous, it was typically an *excuse* to allow the man in the relationship to 1) have two girlfriends, and 2) watch his girlfriends have sex. I personally have never seen a polyamorous relationship with 2 men and 1 woman. Even where the situation is 2 couples (M/F and M/F) it was always the M's engaging in activity with the F's and the F's engaging in activity with each other.

In your experiences, have you come across many, or any polyamorous relationships where the dynamic included more men than women? Or where the men were comfortable with same gender relationships within their group dynamic?

I am really not trying to say anything bad about anyone's realtionships, and I apologize if I am coming across in the wrong manner. My experiences are certainly not a broad representative view, and may very well have been different from what the rest of you have been a part of.

Currently, I have interviewed two groups where there are more men than women.

My first group is a Primary Relationship (or a Vee) between a M & F that are married (for 8 years). She has a secondary relationship with a M for the last 3 years. He has had several secondary relationships but nothing that has lasted very long. Her secondary does not live with them.

My second group is another Primary Relationship between a M & F and she has a secondary relationship with a Male. The Primary M has recently become part of a triad (MFF) but still maintains a primary relationship with her. She hopes to move the triad into a quad but it's a very new relationship now.

I also had a group of 2F & 2M and a mess of kids. The women were not bisexual (to my suprise) but the men were.

I think that it's true that you will find more MFF relationships than MMF. My personal belief is not that it's because of the man that these relationships happen but because women are more able to cope with jealousy and expression of feelings to make it work and men are more possesive and would rather make it work with just one other person. Of course, I could be wrong.

The women that I've interviewed so far have been amazing. Years ago, I met one poly family where the women were clearly in love with this one man and they would just do anything to be with him. It wasn't a pleasant situation to see. However, the women who I have met as part of this project and strong and outgoing and usually the driving force in the decision to be poly. My favorite is a poly woman who is a lesbian, so she had a triad of FFF, one of her partners is bi has a secondary relationship with a man. She's happy because it makes her partner happy.

Thank you for your response. It is nice to see that many of these relationships are not all about a man having the power and the women just trying to please. I see what you are saying about maybe women being more able to express/deal with emotions and feelings and perhaps not being as possessive as men might be.

Good luck with your documentary!

It's so wonderful to see such diversity on the board, and such support.
I'm sure that there's board members with views that are contrary and/or not supportive of the glbt (gay, lesbian, bi, trans*) people... the fact that there's no one on here saying that we're all going to **** blah blah blah is amazing.
On no other message board have I seen this amount of respect.

Kudos to all of you. ;) *sends out happy vibes to everyone*

It is either because we are just so awesome - wink ;) - or it may be because as women we get enough grief and as overweight women we understand prejudice as well as any group.

I think we are just awesome. :carrot:

Besides - who would frequent a thread called Alternachicks and not have an open mind? I am sure there are lurkers out there that would love to stir up trouble but then we would have to hunt them down. :devil: :lol:

Anyway - I am firm believer in live and let live - I am a big dork and no one seems to hold that against me - so why would I or anyone think themselves above another or think it is ok to chastise that which is not understood?

Those people are the ones that have a crispy future - not anyone I have met here.

Regardless of my being straight or not - I agree with the idea that gender is subjective to our society - that as pure energy beings - that I believe us to be outside the confines of humanity - there is no gender - and the concept of pairs being the only acceptable relationship is also subjective - for if you are happy and the rest of your family is happy and no one is excluded or treated as less than a full partner - that is awesome - not to mention hard to find - so you are all very lucky to have what you have. (It is all I can do to keep 1 happy let alone 2 so you go girls!) :D

Trish

I tell people I'm a lesbian, but only from the waist up! lol.....I don't much have any interest in doing anything below the waist but I do think that breasts are just great & I have kissed a few women & enjoyed it. I've kissed one or two who kiss the way I always thought women would kiss (sort of weak, wimpy & slobbery) and did not enjoy that at all! I guess I like women that kiss in a more Dominant or masculine sort of way if that makes sense? Not that I would ever let on that I did not like the way a friend kissed of course...and none of them are on this list or ever will be so thats not an issue. I do TRY to be polite. Anyways. I love my boyfriend madly but I do enjoy "looking" a bit & I'm very grateful that he does not mind as I've had some bf's who are SO threatened by that. I tried the Poly thing for awhile with someone that I was really into who said it was going to be Poly or nothing & in the end it did not work out. I admire people who can refrain from jealousy and are that good at time management but I sure can't do that. I find ONE relationship is hard enough to keep up with. Two? I have noticed that in my Poly friendships 3/4's of the ones around here seem to be quite unbalanced. As in, either the Primary or Secondary girl seems to be resentful about not getting adequate needs met. I've met one Quad so far where everyone truly seemed happy, in love & balanced. Other than that??? Oh yes, I tried a three some once when I was much younger. It used to be one of my favorite fantasies. Alas, that killed the fantasy. The man payed too much attention to me & his girlfriend got really ticked of, got out of bed & then sat on the floor smoking a cigarette. Then she started arguing with her husband wich of course ended the whole thing.
Anyways, I get a good laugh whenever I am out with my bf because if some hot chick walks by we both end up noticing & then we notice that we both were looking & immediately start laughing...its fun.

Yes, it is fun checking out girls together!

Originally Posted by superchar42:
Just wondering if there's anyone else who's "out" and doesn't mind sharing and all.

There aren't very many of us here, but welcome.

I have found that that people on 3FC are kind, polite and supportive which was not my experience on another board. We are all here for one reason and that which we share trumps all of our differences.

I live in Los Angeles with my partner of 12 years. I have been struggling with weight issues since I left home at 16. A lot of this began as rebellion -- I grew up in a home where all meals were portion controlled. When my mother gained a pound over where she thought she ought to be she simply decided to lose that pound. Oy. Oh, by the way, I am adopted so I could not inherit that kind of discipline if I wanted to!

In any event, I love food, I love to cook and I am uncomfortable with strong emotions in any direction. What a set up to be overweight!

I have just returned to WW and to 3FC for the umpteenth time. But, I am highly motivated right now due to some health problems.

So I just wanted to introduce myself. I started on SBD so I still participate on that forum. However, I have real trouble with being honest about portion control so now I am a WW person with an emphasis on SBD friendly foods because I think it is the healthiest way to go.

See you around.

about the poly thing...

it's not really about sex for me, and not about three-ways (none of those have happened yet, and i dunno if they ever will). well, okay, it is sort of about sex -- i think my girlie is hot -- but it's more about having someone i click with, who brings something new to my life. the relationships my husband i have with her are very different to each other. she and i spend a lot more time just hanging out or going places, for example.

i guess i see it this way: my relationship with my husband, c, is my primary relationship. unless something specific happens that means d needs my support right then and in a big way, he comes first. my relationship with d is secondary but not less real or less important. she is a good friend and someone who's very dear to me. i probably *love* love her, but i'm very cautious about using that word. then there's an almost third relationship where the three of us hang out and there's a different dynamic. that one's most challenging right now, because we're having to work out exactly how things go. i have to deal with occasional twinges of jealousy, and he has to deal with his own feelings sometimes.

her primary relationship is her family -- her boyfriend and his wife. the three of them have a very strong family unit and that's her main relationship. the relationships with me and c are secondary -- not less important exactly, but if there's a choice between what her family needs and what i need, her family would probably come first and after their needs were met, mine would be. that's as it should be.

so i have a solid marriage that makes me happy, and a wonderful girlfriend who makes my life richer. and it's especially cool because they both support me completely when it comes to the optifast thing (i've gotten the lab work done and once the results are in, i'll start). each of us is stronger because of the others.

i guess i'm saying that i didn't go looking for a secondary relationship because i thought it would be nice to have a girl to sleep with, too. it just sort of happened, and i'm very glad it did.

Tossing my hat into the ring...
 

Add me to the bisexual column! :high: (Now we just need a special club handshake, hehehe!)

Though as far as the falling in love bit, that has only been with one woman... so far! :D

Sarah! I haven't seen you in forever! Hello chica!

Originally Posted by Goddess Jessica:
Sarah! I haven't seen you in forever! Hello chica!

Hola, Goddessy One! ;)

I have been remiss in my 3FC scoping-out! I am in the process of getting ze pounds off, AGAIN, heheh! So, back in the saddle!

:carrot: Can you imagine a dozen of these getting juiced? :devil: I'm sick, I know.... :D

I'm GLBT friendly. I classify myself as "sexual." Period.
Btw, my anniversary with my soul mate will be four years this Sunday. *grins*

Hello! :wave: You can put me in the All-Lesbo-All-the-Time Pile. (It's a little pile, it seems! :lol: ) :D I'm a lesbian, 41 -- realized I was gay at 26 and never looked back. I've been with my partner in a monogamous relationship for almost 8 years.

As far as the moderators and forum owners coming in and busting up a homo/bi discussion, this just isn't that kind of place. My experience with 3FC is that respect is the recurrent theme -- and that includes respect for ALL members. It's one of the many things I so appreciate about this site and how it's managed. There's a great deal of diversity among the members, but the commonalities overide everything.

That said, I just love me some lezzies! ;) :devil:

Originally Posted by ajandpj99:
Besides - who would frequent a thread called Alternachicks and not have an open mind? I am sure there are lurkers out there that would love to stir up trouble but then we would have to hunt them down. :devil: :lol: Trish

For the record, everybody, I frequently talk about my partner over at the 100 lb. group, and I've received nothing but support and equal time. They've gone so far as to be incredibly supportive of Lorraine's health issues, also, -- not to mention, praising her for how wonderful she was throughout my cancer earlier this year. I'm telling you, it just has never been any issue whatsoever. (Goddessy Jessicaness knows this, since she's part of my family there! :goodvibes ) I will say that I was out right from my first breath there, and simply have never felt like I needed to hesitate to share my life openly -- but then that's how I live my life everywhere. I'm pretty uncompromising about this. Life is too short for such craziness, you know? :dizzy:

So I guess I want to say that my experience with acceptance has been not just here, at Alternachicks, but elsewhere on this site as well. I'm sure there are some folks who don't like it, but they seem to be staying mum on that topic.....which suits me just fine! :yes:

Big :grouphug: to this little Alternachickie group! :goodvibes

Originally Posted by lessofsarahtolove:
Hello! :wave: You can put me in the All-Lesbo-All-the-Time Pile. (It's a little pile, it seems! :lol: )

I'm bi, but -- hey -- if there's a pile of lesbians somewhere, I want in! :devil: :D

Originally Posted by MaggieShines:
I'm bi, but -- hey -- if there's a pile of lesbians somewhere, I want in! :devil: :D

That's HILARIOUS!! :lol3:

I don't fit into any of these catagories (although I do have some pretty vivid dreams :devil: ), but I truly believe in accepting people for who they are. The only people I tend to have a prejudice toward are drug addicts--I've tried to become more accepting of them, but I just can't.

:soap: I'm probably one of the few people here in the "Bible Belt" (Arkansas) that will openly admit to voting AGAINST the state constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriages. It chaps my hide that a grown person can't marry anyone they want--we're supposed to be living in the land of the free! :soap:

Non-heterosexual does not equal immoral or a-moral!!

Originally Posted by MaggieShines
I'm bi, but -- hey -- if there's a pile of lesbians somewhere, I want in!


You know, I am straight but a pile of lesbians even sounds fun to me! (I guess hubby needs to start paying me more attention - LOL):devil: :D

Some days a pile of anything would be good. :p ;) but then he is gone alot.

:hug:

Originally Posted by ajandpj99:

Some days a pile of anything would be good. :p ;) but then he is gone alot.

I know that feeling too well! :lol:

OK, that's it then... CHICK PARTY AT TRISH'S! :grouphug: We'll ie around and do each other.... um, I mean... we'll lie around and do each other's makeup! What were you chicks thinking? Perverts! :devil:

OK, I have officially left the building. I think I need to eat something. This chubby, dancing marshmallow :dance: looks yummy.

Hi,

I've never posted in this section before. In fact, I've never seen this section before tonight. (haven't been on this site in a while) but I just wanted to chime in and say I am a lesbian. I have been w/ my parther for 3.5yrs. In fact this past September we just exchanged rings.

Kat

Hi Kat, isn't the exchangement of rings just so meaningful? :) My partner and I did that in 2003, and we both found it so beautiful. My sweetie pulled my beautiful diamond ring out of layaway unbeknownst to me (it's almost 2 carats so we were paying for it in installments!) and surprised me with it at a surprise ceremony --- I was just so moved by all of it. I was like that cartoon character that squirts tears out of the corner of its eyes! :lol:

Sarah, it is a beautiful gesture to exchange rings. I didn't realize how much it made my relationship feel validated until we had the rings on our fingers.

Kathy

Chick party for Christmas :grouphug: - just what I always wanted :devil: ;) !!

Rings are awesome - the never ending circle that represents life, love and all things eternal.

I havent had mine on in months thanks to dislocating a finger when catching a horse - now it has to be resized :( and I really miss it - it was the only jewelry I ever wore.

DH hasnt had his ring on in ages cause he keeps cracking the amethyst when working outside.

Oh well - :dance:
Yep he does edible.

Count me among the 10%
 

Hi All....My partner and I have been together for 9 years. She is a Saint. We exhanged rings at sunrise on a beach in Kaui 3 years ago...We had breakfast at the Princeville Hotel and marvelled at the most incredible rainbow over Hanalei Bay. I wouldn't trade a minute of the past 9 years for all the money in the world.

After a horrible 2005, we decided that this was the year for us. We have made a plan for wellness and are dedicated to making it happen.

I love forums because my job is so incredibly boring, it gives me something to do at my desk besides eat. I'm glad to be here and hope to speak to you all frequently.

Hi Better Days!

Your committment ceremony sounds beautiful, my partner and I are going to get a cabin on a beach this spring and have a private ceremony as well.

Im sorry you had a bad year but look forward and stay strong

Hi, everyone. I'm a lesbian. I've identified as bi since my teens, and came out as a lesbian back in September or so. I'm single and happy to stay that way for awhile, but I have a very active fantasy life. ;)

BetterDays, we have made similar plans for this year. Here's to 2006!

I have lurked on these forums off and on for a while, and recently decided to get serious (again) about weight loss. I've always been impressed with the diversity I've noticed around here, but when I saw something about a pile of lesbians, I knew this must be the place for me!

I'm 30 and my partner and I have been together 3 years. We have exchanged rings and I agree that it is validating and beautiful. We are trying to have a baby and having some trouble with that, so that gives me extra motivation to lose the weight.

Hi everyone!

I just found this site and this forum! I'm an "out" lesbian, my partner and I have been together nearly 2 years. We are both completely out to family, friends, work, etc. We are planning on having a commitment ceremony, we both wear sapphire and diamond engagment rings. We registered with the state as domestic partners in September!

We have decided not have pursue pregnancy to build our family but instead to adopt from the foster care system. Many of our friends have already done this very successfully. I would love to be pregnant, but given my history of PCOS and Endo it's unlikely. Shelley has no desire to be pregnant herself, especially at 40! :lol:

Count me in!

I'm a lesbian and have been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. We have no kids but we do have two crazy little dogs.

Anyway, just wanted to say hello to everyone else!