DH wanted to go to the convention in IN also but seeing how this NY trip is wiping us out I dont see how its possible.

DH has been a gamer for 25 years. Usually DMing but right now a player. Ive gamed on and off briefly but now steady gaming with him and the guys on saturdays.... running an all cleric campaign in which Im an elven archer.

If you like gaming youd like Everquest. Which is the MRPG i was refering to. He and I have played for 3 years now. Thankfully the obsession is over for me and I can just play in moderation.

Nice to meet another gamer here =)

Oh.. take a guess my archers name.. hehe Tallara =) Tallara shadowmyst at your service. Shes also the name of my Woodelf ranger (archer) in EQ.

My DH plays everquest with his buddies. I am more into board games, card games and I used to do some role playing stuff.

There are a few other people here who game too

BTW- Great character name

I am an Everquest widow. I lost my husband to EQ five years ago. He is just a form in the corner of the living room in front of a glowing screen, typing and clicking incessantly, for hours upon hours. He wasn't satisfied just playing, nooooo....he had to be the best. He had to be a top level Ranger. He had to join a Guild and schedule Raids (THREE NIGHTS A WEEK!!!)with 50-100 other people to kill beasties and get cool armor and stuff. And with one of the last expansions they gave the ability to leave your Trader set up in the Marketplace for endless hours while you're not even there, preventing other people from using the computer if they might like to.

Everquest is a baaaaad word around here. It is referred to only as "the game".

HAHA wildfire. Im sorry hon. I was the same as you until I made my first character (my lvl 57 ranger) Ive made several since but only really play her and Kimbri my cleric. The bazaar trader function has been there for a while. It was a brilliant Idea UNLESS you have one computer. DH's puter locks up when hes in tradermode too long so he thinks he can get on MINE and set up trader for the day while he is at work. I just turn it off. I dont THINK SO! =)

DH is a 65 monk and for the first 3 yrs of the guilds exsistence, the leader. They also raid 3x a week. I dont commit to raids as I have a little something I have to do.. like RAISE KIDS! I only play once or so a week and only for a little while now a days.

anywho, we have 3 accounts so I dont see it going anywhere soon and t be honest we have made real life friends through the guild. Its this guild we have real life gatherings with. I think I play more just to be with them than to play and get Uber Loot.

Tiff

I'm a former EQer myself, actually both my BF and I are. He's gotten into Shadowbane of late, and we've let our EQ accounts lapse for the time being. There might come a time when I want to play again, I've thought about reinstalling it lately just to pop on and dork around here and there. The high end got too political and too boring with the endless raids and loot bickering. I keep hoping EQ will put something similar to DAoC into place where single players or small groups can do some serious equipment questing rather than it being dependant on massive raids of "uber guilds" only. Other than that it's kinda fun. I'm thinking about Horizons or Warcraft World. We'll see.

And Wildfire - I was the same way with my BF till I figured if I couldn't beat 'em, join 'em.

Raven,

we checked out DAoC but it just didnt click. we had an officer of our guild move over there and start a Twilight Avengers branch. He just seemed to click better there.

The high end is a pain in the rump and very political with merit and or random and or questing items that need full raids and what not. I stepped down as officer and basically dropped off the face of norrath for a while. When I started to play again, I was out of the political loop and I was glad. I get on to xp in some of the new planes but as far as trying to improve my gear? well I have my epics and OK stuff so Its just not something I feel adrive to do.

DH however.. hehe.. well he Runs alot of the raids and was the leader and now officer but acting leader. Hes a driving force behind the guild so he feels the need to get on.

anywho... We are on Prexus.. what about you guys?

We were on Drinal, though I had alts on a few other servers. Never Prexus, though.

I too, am a gaming widow. Oh, how I hate it so...

First it was wizard's realm, then it was DAoC, then it was EQ, right now it's some damn PS2 game, I can't even keep track. My favorite has got to be when he's on the PS2, on the good TV, using the online connection.... which means - not only is he not paying attention to ME (which I usually require most of the time *LOL*) but he is taking up the ps2, the tv, AND the phone line.

And lately he's started with the D&D role playing with some scary friends of his on the weekends. I mean, I'm glad he has something to do but does it have to be so....
dorky?

The only game he's ever brought home that kept my attention span for more then 10 seconds was Yu Gi Oh! Don't ask me why, I know it's sad... but I enjoyed it.

Oh, DH has asked me to join the game..."we could game together, I can help you, you can play one of my other characters, it'll be fun, quality time for us...blah, blah,blah". I told him he sounded like a drug dealer.

I'm just thankful he isn't seriously addicted like some people are. He does balance his real life with his EQ life, and knows when he's crossing the line and ticking me off.

Seriously, though, EQ addiction is a scary thing. Not for the person playing because they don't realize what they're doing. If you want to see how it affects spouses and families, check out the Everquest Widows Yahoo group. Just reading some of the threads makes me realize that DH isn't so bad after all.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a gaming hater. If you can have fun, relieve stress, whatever, through gaming I think it's great! It's making sure you have that balance that's important. There are days that I say to DH, "Can't you disappear in your game for eight hours or so? You're driving me nuts!" So it works for both of us.

I'm with you on that one, Wildfire. My whole household is comprised of people who need a lot of alone time, so that each one of us has our own little time wasters (read hobbies) is a very good thing!

I knew DH was a heavy gamer when I met him. I understood His passion when I married him. At first after we married, it actually DID become a problem and I threated to leave as the amt of time he spent with his friends was so outrageous.

Over the 11 yrs we have been married (and 3 kids) His gaming has deminished to one day a week, all day saturday. After living through a 24/7 ppl in your house.... one day a week is MORE than acceptable. I only recently joined him (Im talking AD&D here). But only because our oldest helps with the youngest, and.. it actually did help that we were doing something together.

EQ was a diff story... I griped and groaned the first 6months he had it. Then I made a character and I too was hooked. The lure and addiction of the game is more powerful than a drug. Im thankful I got past the obsession before damage was done LOL...

Hes on quite a bit yes. Not out of obsession but out of commitment as leader of the guild in which i was an officer.

This is the way I choose to view it....

He could be out, away from home, spending money, not providing or caring for his family. Or He could work every day,never call in sick, come home and play AT HOME. I will not and will never tell him that He cant spend his freetime as he wishes especially if hes home. Too many times husbands leave the house to do their hobbies and wives never see them. (been there too!)

So I suppose experience shows me how to feel about him being online alot of times. Ive been in so many situations such as this in my marraige and compromise must be made. Its gotten much better over the years.. we just stuck it out.

Its ok if PPl dont understand this. I have a friend that wouldnt 'allow' her DH to game here. The 'scarey' ppl you Usually see gaming doesnt apply here. Our gaming group are DH's life long friends who work jobs all day, clean cut, married folk. But none the less she wouldnt let him and nagged. Which I did too the time frame DH was gone everynight.

I choose to suck it up because #1, Hes HOME! and #2 He provides for this family and works very hard and is gone all day to be sure we have a home and food and to provide a way for me NOT to work which is what I wanted all the time we have had kids.

anyway.. its a bit of a sore subject sometimes because I do wish he would get off the puter sometimes but the times that he does, he sits around bored and that drives me even MORE nuts.

so thats my story. I guess no relationshi is perfect. My DH just happens to need alot of hobby type things to do. Sometimes too many and I do bring it up and remind him he does have kids and a wife who need his attention. I think the hardest thing I deal with is feeling like a single parent at times. But.. Marraige is a growing thing...always evolving.. Perhaps tomarrow wil be different but today, Ill be happy with what Ive been given.


Tiff

I mostly play video and computer games these days, although DH and I used to do a lot of D&D. We had some WONDERFUL GMS who made up their own systems, and it was a lot of fun. DH has made up some funny stuff too. I HAVE recently been tempted by a game called FAIRY MEAT that is essentially about cannibalistic fairies. It is just SO twisted it sounds like it could be a lot of fun!!!!!

OOPS!! Meant to say.........


WELCOME TALLARA!!!!!!!

Sorry, Tallara, if my post came across the wrong way. You don't have to defend or explain anything here....that's one of the reasons this group is so great. I feel exactly the same as you do. When my friends question how I "put up" with DH's hours on the computer, I tell them it costs practically nothing, he's out of my hair, it's better than him hanging out in a bar, and I always know exactly where he is. They can't say the same.

The real EQ Widows group is full of stories about people who DID get out of hand and crossed that line between gaming and real life. DH isn't near that obsessed, even though he does play quite a bit. If I tell him I need him or I'm upset about something, he'll leave the game and give me his full attention, even if it IS in the middle of a raid. We've worked out a schedule that he can play without guilt....Saturdays at 5pm, and Tuesdays and Thursdays after work are his scheduled raids. Other than those times, he'll ask if I mind if he plays for a couple of hours or what my plans are before he gets involved in anything in the game. He usually spends a few hours on Sundays and other weeknights, but only if we don't have anything else planned. Believe me, though, we've had a few of "that DAMN GAME!" discussions.

Sounds like you and your DH have a good handle on the whole thing, too.

We actually met his best friend from the game, who he is usually with when he's in EQ. Last summer he was here on vacation with his wife and two kids, and we met in Niagara Falls for dinner. They were great people. Made a difference knowing who DH spends all his time with.

AHHH wildfire. my turn to apologize.. you didnt do or say anything sweetie. Its just my way to overexplain or "this is just where I am coming from".. Over communicate?

I was justa sharin is all (hug)