Starting Over
 

Okay..... Well I have officially blown my new way of eating (diet) all to :censored: and back twice. Granted I have had a lot of celebrating to do and well I can honestly say that I have done a good job of it. (I wish I didn't like my cooking quite so much)

Well last night was my last party for a while (until next Friday when my niece graduates from Highschool)... I have done a crap job of eating, I have been binging which in all honesty I haven't done in so long. I got up in the middle of the night the other night and ate cold pizza and french bread and butter and chocolate chips- and I had already eaten popcorn at the movies and had eaten out with DH for lunch... well you get the picture. I was eating for no reason, I can honestly say that I am more relaxed than I have been in two years, the muscles in my back do not feel like I have a vice squeezing them 24/7 and my hand has stopped going numb when I write and type. I am not sleeping real well but other than that I feel like a million dollars, so I don't know why I can't control my eating. I haven't been purging just binging, which in a way is good but in a way it is bad too. My old routine was to not eat and then to purge when I did, I didn't not have the habit of binge eating then purging.

I have got to get a hold of myself and start over, not necessarily from the beginning but start over, I will probabaly have few weeks before I start work and I need to get into some kind of routine before I get into the routine at the hospital of ordering out and eating out of the vending machine. I just don't know what do, or should I say what plan to follow or what groove to get in. I have done so many different diets, I can't take any supplement any more because of my heart, I have a decrease exercise tolerance and a really hard time meeting my target heart rate since I am on the medication I am for my heart. I am just wondering if anyone has any suggestions on what to do get in to a groove. I have to start over and I am almost starting back at my high weight, I have 35 pounds to loose and I know that it doesn't sound like a lot but with my decrease metabolism and the exercise/medication thing, I seem to be stuck behind an eight ball... I am looking at any and all programs - what has worked for you - what you may suggest for me - etc.

I am fresh out of ideas....

Amy
176/173.5/135
5'8

Hey Amy - sounds like you have a bunch of things to deal with all at once! When you say a "reduced tolerance" for exercise, does that mean you need to keep your heart rate low? I'm not sure I get it. There might be other forms of exercise which aren't as cardio intensive. Like pilates, or moderate weight lifting, etc.

As far as the eating plan .. I'm not sure what you have done in the past that has worked for you. Do you do better with a higher level of protein? A balance of protein and carbs? Do you need to watch your sugar, fat, or any of the above? I'm finding that a modified BFL program is working pretty darn well for me, at this point. Since this is a life-time commitment, I want something I can be happy with and not feel like I'm starving or depriving myself. That tends to bring on the out-of-control eating pattern for me.

Well Raven ~ I found out last fall I have Mitral Valve Prolapse, nothing terrible, not really life altering. It is mild but it explained a lot of years of very high heart rate with minimal exercise, I would go from 90 BPM to the high 180's in a matter of minutes with mild/moderate exercise. Well the MD put me on a beta-blocker my baseline heart rate went from 85-90 BPM to 50/60 BPM, I now have to work very very hard to get a heart rate of 120...

As for exercise intolerance... I have been in school so long and haven't been able to do a regular exercise program. When I started the nursing component of school I was able to easily walk 5 to 7 miles a day- now with the school implemented sedentary life and the medication I can barely walk a mile with out being completely exhausted. I realize I have to build myself back up, I have been out of the game so to speak for going on 5 semesters.

Programs that worked for me before.... Well I lost a good deal on Atkins... but I am just not a proponent for the diet since it is not so good for your kidneys and I lost the best on E-diets... but to be honest I don't want to go back to measuring my foods and cooking one thing for me and something else for the rest of my family.... I lost from like 190ish to 140 over the course of about 9 months but that is strict calorie counting and as I said measuring every thing. I was looking at Zone Perfect and I have looked at BFL, I am just confused about what I am going to be able to implement with out throwing a huge monkey wrench into the rest of my families life.... I already don't buy junk we eat alot of fresh fruit, veggies and salads.

Seriously eating like a Normal Person over the last two weeks or so, I have gained 10+ pounds... I am about to bust out of my clothes.

A

See my IM, Amy. :D

Amy...when you figure something out, let me know. I am eatting way too much sugar and it makes me feel like a whale! I need to get back to basics too. I have been gardening a lot, but my walking has been non existant. We went out last night and my cute black shirts don't fit anymore. :( That was an eye opener! I gotta get back to looseing and not gaining!

Yeah flower ~ I have been getting some real eye openers, so I can definitely understand that.

Raven ~ Thanks for the PM. I will be in touch, I am interested in the BFL stuff- thinking about picking up the book.

I have just got to get motivated :halfempty: and I don't want the motivation to be DH saying hun don't you think you have gained a little weight. Which in translation means OMG you are getting a fat :censored: which in turn will mean I will get a really big:headache: and he will end up sleeping on the couch.

Bah...

Amy

Hi Amy, I can totally relate to you saying how you can gain 10 lbs when you eat like a normal person -- me too! One week a few years ago I ate a few muffins, nothing else unusual, and I gained 5 lbs - from the muffins, I swear (2 or 3 muffins - they were very good though!). And even when I am fairly careful I sit at a plateau for MONTHS. It is really frustrating isn't it?

I think if you slowly build up with walking - something that worked for you in the past - that would be good. I have come back to walking as the safest (for my knee & joints), least jarring, most adaptable sort of exercise - you can slow down when you need to, can walk as little or as long as you like - well, you know all that!

Sometimes I eat a lot just because I get so tired of being careful & you have just come off a lot of stress, so it seems totally natural to me...you WILL get back into a diet/exercise routine & you WILL lose the weight you want to...in your own time frame. I have had plenty of times in the last two years when I just said to myself, I'm not ready to do this again yet, but I will be later on. And I was. And I'm just getting back along now after another break (you ought to see how many chocolate peppermint wrappers I have hidden in my backpack from the last couple of months).

Lidian

You know it is a happy/sad thing that you can lose 3.5 pounds in a 24 hour period of time... I swear it makes me wonder why the heck I am retaining that much fluid because that has to be what it is, because I didn't do anything yesterday but pee. Well I guess I will be researching somethings this week- diet, exercise, maybe see about making a MD appointment and find out his perspective on my metabolism and what he thinks about me losing weight other than that he is for it. I swear even when I was bigger like closer to 190 he never said a word about my weight, I had to entertain the subject- makes you wonder...

Thought about it alot last night, even after I started nursing school... I didn't start gaining my weight back until I introduced processed sugar back into my diet... prior to nursing school I was not eating any processed white sugar, no sweets, no white potatoes, no white bread, no coffe, no margerine or butter or mayo but primarily no sugar.... prior to nursing school, I had not used a whole 5lb bag of sugar in a year now I am going through about a bag a month- mostly in coffee so if I cut out my coffee or find a sweetener that doesn't make my head hurt I may have ID'ed a big problem. I would basically say that coupled with my lack of exercise and my increase in not so good foods (not saying my diet sucks because I am stiill not eating alot of the above foods just some) would definitely add up to the wieght that I have gained back. I guess you could say I have done a lot of soul searching in the last day.

My goals for the week:
Increase my water intake.
Increase my activity.
Lower my processed sugar intake.
Journal(I hate to Journal- just because it is time consuming)

One Month Goal:
Lose 10 pounds by 6/19/03.
Work myself up to 2 miles a day.
Weights 3 times a week.


Six Month Goal:
Be at Goal Weight of 135.
Walking 4 to 5 miles a day.
Weight 5 times a week.
Cut out my processed sugar completely.

Does anyone have the problem of headache when they use sweeteners in hot drinks? EVERY time I use something like Equal, SweetNLow, or Splenda in hot drinks only.... I get a migraine... no fail... hence the reason behing the use of so much sugar because I have been drinking the devil out of some coffee. Any suggestions, other than don't drink the coffee- lets face it I am going to be working nights... I am going to have drink some kinda caffiene.

Amy
176/170/135

I can't use any of the artificial sweeteners, either, for the same reason. I limit my intake of coffee to three cups in the morning, and I use about a teaspoon and a half of sugar in each cup. That will not, in the foreseeable future, change. I figure it into my daily amount of food and go on from there. It took me a while before I could cut the sugar back from the three heaping teaspoons, but I did it gradually, and I'm still working on getting it less and less per cup. Eventually perhaps I'll be like my daughter, who insists that sugar and milk "ruin the taste of good coffee." ;)

Amy, I hate those sweeteners. You'll probably hate my suggestion, but why don't you try weaning yourself off of sugar? That's what I did a couple of years ago... I used to take a rounded teaspoon full, and I cut back to a level spoonful. Then to 3/4, then a half, etc. It took me a few weeks, but I'm sugarfree! And now I HATE sugar in my coffee!

Sorry, Raven... must have posted at the same time as you. ;)

Okay.... well Lets put it this way.... I wish I just used a teaspoon or so in my coffee.... :o but then again maybe if I actually drank a cup of coffee instead of a travel mug at a time(big silver therma-mugs)... (averages out to about 9 cups a day) :eek:

Oh my gosh... a real coffee drinker like me. :lol:
I LOVE my coffee, Amy.
Well... even if you cut back a little on the sugar, it would make a huge difference in the long run.

I come from a long line of coffee drinkers... I think my mother put coffee in my bottle as a baby... (no I am serious- I had to keep her from doing it to my kids)- I don't drink that much every day but it is possible for me to do-

As much as I hate it I got out the measuring spoons, cups and the food scale this morning :cry: the things we do...

Your plan does very doable Amy...I will join you... PM me your email address or you IM name if you have one. (aim or msnmgr)

ok, the atrificial sweetener thing...
I was the queen of artifical sweetners (and also China, but thats a long story) then my hands and legs started to go numb...I lost my balance, I was in constant pain...I was tested for everything and found out it MIGHT BE MS, or not, BUT
there is a condition called 'aspertaime poisioning' (or something) that mimics the symptoms of MS. Some people are altra sensitive to that chemical. Just to be on the safe side, I stopped using the stuff...I wish my symptoms went away, that would have been a great ending to this story, but no...but I don't use it anymore. And I am a crazy coffee drinker. I had to switch to black decaf...thought I would die, but you now what, I didn't! I miss my morning coffee with all the bells and whistles, but knowing that I have one less chemical in my systom is some consolation. (not much) My life has been a series of giving up this to get that...it sucks, but eventually I will be the ME I need to be. I have only had one migrane in my life and if I thought that using artifical sweetners would give me another one, I would run screaming out of the room. anyway, that's my 2.5 cents and then some.

I had a medical scare a few months back and was told by my doctor that I had to cut out caffeine completely for 3 months at least. I managed to switch to decaf and herbal tea, quit eating chocolate and drop coffee with the exception of the occasional decaf.

I now allow myself 1 good fresh cup of real coffee every morning with 1 tsp of sugar and real cream. The rest of the day I drink herbal tea, decaf orange pekoe or Earl Grey tea or water. This is my daily treat and my kickstart to the day :yes:

It was hard to do at first but I am so used to it that I don't even think about it anymore. It has also cut back on a lot of my sugar intake. :)

Up until about a little over a year ago I didn't drink coffee at all and I am thinking that is probably going to be my best bet. I drink enough caffiene in my daily intake of diet soda to wake the dead so.... I am really not suppose to drink a great deal of caffiene in any form so, it would be better for me to cut out what I can. :( not exactly what I would choose to do though.

Honestly the only way that artificial sweetners bother me is if they are in a hot drink. I can eat or drink them cold and I am fine put in in something even luke warm I am in bed puking my guts up (nice picture) Heck Ginya... If I had to quit chewing sugarless gum they would have to send me to detox.

A

AHHHH :censored: I could screw up a wet dream... I was so ready to start over on Monday and by Wednesday, I am need to start over, starting over.... I really hate having no will power. I use to have it, I don't know where it went... It has rained for three days straight, I haven't started walking, I have gotten my water in but it was following the large amount of crappy food that I was eating at the time :( argh!!!

I will do better, I will do better, I will do better. I am not going to beat myself up too bad, I have had some large stress this week and the kids are loose (school is out) I can do this... I can do this I can do this.....



A
176/170/135

Don't beat yourself up girl. There's no use.

Positives:
You got all your water in.
You haven't given up! That's the big fight, ya know?!?!
You're ready to begin again.

Deep breath! You can do it!

You can do this...I have walked the last 3 days...Go ahead and get an umbrella...walking in the rain can be kinda fun!

You can walk in place at home - I do that when my kids are around and I can't get out...You can do it, Amy! You can start over as many times as you need to. I fact most of us have started over lots of times - I know I have and do. Each day I feel like it is starting over really.

I read something in "Make the Connection" that is about this, sort of. About how all you can ever do each day is do your best for THAT day. Because that is where you are - in this day. So just do the best you can for that day - some days it will be better than others. And there will always be tomorrow to do your best in, too.

Lidian

Today will be a better day. I have already walked for an hour and 15 minutes and I have started in on my water... will keep a post out...

Okay I back tracked my walk with the car today... it was a little over 3 miles... better than I thought. Did some upper body weights.. I drank 98 ounces of water (I am going to be peeing alllll night) only a hand full of chocolate chips no other sugar, ate pretty good- few too many carbs but probably under or at my calories :)

Did good yesterday. I have to go out of town to a graduation this afternoon, I have to work really hard on being good. Will be running (figuratively) all weekend so hopefully I will not have time to eat to much junk. I will post soon.

Flower ~ How is it going?

Amy

Well, I would like to say I have lost a ton of weight but I haven't... Last Monday I was at 173.5 this AM I am at 171.5 but I was down to 170 somewhere during the week so does that count as a gain or a loss?

I have done pretty good this week, except it is TOM and I have been PMSing and Stressing about a lot of stuff. I have had the IRS audit thing pushed back another 4 days because of time delays in recieving statements from my insurance and the credit card companies. I hope that it goes good.

Well I walked one day last week to walk ~ was actually meant as exercise, several days I had to walk because I had to... shopping looking for graduation gifts then several blocks to and from the civic center to the graduation... walked looking for new corals for our fish tank... Cut the grass front and back because DS was at my brothers this weekend fishing and riding horses. I am sore my hips hurts... I ate good most of the week, got to get back to portion measuring.

I saw a picture of myself that DH took this weekend standing next to my 5'10 skinny (110lbs) neice I looked like a beached whale. It made me really sad. I hate being big... I mean really hate it, everyone but my DH is like oh your not big but I know they are being nice...DH is just blunt- you have a big butt and if you want to lose it quit eating so much... The problem is he is right- and that pisses me off too. Well enough for feeling sorry.

I did alright last week. I upped my activity some, I drank about 100 ounces of water a day approximately 3 liters, plan on continuing that. Can't say I cut down on my refined sugar because of all of the :censored: chocolate chips, but other wise I think I did alright.

Well, starting over again today.

Hugs to all,
Amy
176/171.5/135

So, Amy .. you are saying you've lost two pounds in one week, and on top of that its TOM? And that's not good enough!?!?! :yikes: That's GREAT!!!

And though DH might have a partial point, he is not helping the situation with his less than supportive comments. It is not all about just "don't eat so much." It's about addressing emotional issues, it's about relearning how to eat, it's about relearning how to live, to enjoy exercise, to like the right foods and to love ourselves. Comments like that make me want to slap people. And I find I'm getting less and less tolerant as time goes by. That's probably not a good thing. There are REASONS people are overweight. And unless we address those reasons, we may lose, but we will never maintain.

And so, congrats on your moving towards a whole new life, and may this weeks two pound loss be added to more next week!!

:bravo:

Thanks Raven ~ DH just knows how I am.... he is supportive in everything I do, he is just blunt. Honestly, he is the reason I have gotten as far as I have in life, if it weren't for him I would still be on welfare making minimum wage trying to make ends meet.. instead of a college grad, starting a new job next week. It makes him mad that I have gained so much weight back after I had lost so much... he knows I can do it, he just wants me to set my mind to it and get it done, instead of whining.

Amy...after Friday I am going to join you on this Starting Over. I will need a new breath of life here. So get ready to rumble!!!

Cool the more the merrier.... :)


Did alright today.... working up to 130 ounces of water a day, lord it makes you tinkle bunches....did more necessary stuff today not real exercise unless you count driving and getting blood drawn....Food wasn't the greatest but had to eat on the go so tried to eat pretty healthy but ate too much sugar.

Amy

Will update my goals this afternoon or tonight. Got to get ready for work.

Amy

Amy...congrats on the job. My fil is in the hospital, so we have had lots of company and stress. But I just wanted to peak in and see how you were! Remember to breathe okay?

I am really thinking about taking another break.... I am on vacation this week and have been poking in here and there and just don't feel "welcome" so I think I am going to do some down time and work out somethings on my own. I like the group here but thing are not "quite" the same right now. I don't know it just doesn't seem right for some reason. I will poke in from time to time.

Flower I hope your FIL is better, Rubens I really hope all is good for you too.

Hugs to everyone.

Amy

Amy, I'm sorry you don't feel completely welcome. Actually, I think we ALL feel that at times to some degree. Some of us feel that we do a lot of nurturing and we don't get any back from certain people. :(

I like to get personal "notes" from people in their posts, but not everyone feels they have time to give that type of attention.

We can only give what we've got, and I understand where you're at.
hugs, sweetie...
:grouphug:

Sorry Amy. But if you aren't getting what you need here, maybe try another group? Don't give up on the support if you need it!

Sorry that you are feeling down Amy. :grouphug: I agree with Ellis-sometimes you can feel totally like part of the group and other times not so much.

Good luck whatever you decide to do but you are welcome here anytime! :)

Sorry that you feel that way Amy, but I do understand too. I originally joined 3FC about a year and a half ago and just didn't click with the group I joined, never really felt part of it. Which I'm not saying was for any specific reason, but that's how it was. And I took a really long break, came back last fall and found this group. Which I love - but sometimes I take little mini breaks, some threads I don't really join in on so much (like the movie one, cuz I don't see many movies!)...

Anyway Mauvais is right, there may be another group that is more "right" for you - like in real life. I am sorry that I haven't always written as many personal notes as I sometimes would like to - I am kind of quiet in real life, you see!

And I really do wish you all the best and you are welcome back anytime!

Lidian

Lidian, I didn't mean YOU! You ALWAYS send nice little notes! You are SO nurturing!
:grouphug:

Aw Ellis, I know you didn't mean me! I didn't mean YOU didn't think that I didn't...blah blah blah...but sometimes I kinda feel like I wish I sent MORE. Whew. (Kind of lost myself there in that sentence!)

Lidian

Amyjo-I feel that way sometimes too...(STOP IGNORING ME ELLIS!!;) ) But I switched here from a different thread because i felt more at home here. This is like one big old family. Sometimes people are bound to feel left out or more or less connected. At any rate, I wish the best for you whatever you decide.