Virginia, Sorry to hear that you're depressed. I don't think you can force it away Rochem. Unfortunately. But, doing stuff you love and getting into the spirit can't hurt. Isolating yourself and saying bah-hum-bug can make things worse.
Decorating and making the house look cheerful and colorful and spiffy and happy might help too. I don't want to sound too polyanna but I also love to make things and maybe making stuff would cheer you up and save money on presents too.
Baking is cool. But, watch out for the urge to eat everything you bake.
Oh gosh, has that been at all helpful...gee, and to think I get paid to do this.
Oy Vay.
Love, Soozie
ps Ellis and Sojo,
Thank goodness for men like yours! They are truly wonderful.
I'm so glad you have them in your lives! (a few good men)
My DH and I were in a store behind a woman at the cash yesterday... She was buying a book called ummmm, "The World is Full of Married Men". She had her teenage daughter with her, and she "looked divorced". (if you know what I mean) Sometimes I feel embarrassed at being so happy.
I think I just jinxed myself. My DH will probably leave me today.
Virginia, hon, how are you feeling today?
hugs to all...
xoxo
1. He wants to take care of me
2. He works very hard
3. He can talk the philosophy of Star Trek with me
4. He loves me Fat or Thin
5. He supported me through college
6. He puts up with my crazy days (PMS)
7. When he looks at me I go all mushy
8. I can imagine us old together
9. He makes me laugh
10. He is the only person that understands my inside stuff
Thanks Soozie and Ellis
Yes I am feeling a little better today. The sun is shining here and that makes me happy. So far my kids are not fighting, that makes me very happy. My friend came over to watch my kids while I went to the gym last night, which made me realized I am a very lucky person. I have you girls who really care about me, and that warms my heart too, and the kiddies and I are going to paint a Xmas gift for their teachers tonight. I made a deal with them. If they behave themselves, than we will make Xmas gifts, do some baking, or something creative together at least once or twice a week.
They don't seem to realize that I have to settle arguments, make crafts, and be bubbly all day long working in a daycare center. I like my job most days, but when I come home and they start, I want to pull my hair out, or theirs. Just kidding!
ANyway, today is a new day. I have accepted that I will make do with the little bit of money I have and make as many gifts as possible.
As for my other problem, it is of the heart and can not be helped right now. Time will heal or strenghten! Somethings just hurt!
Virginia
We are tight on money too this holiday season as my husband just spent the last couple of months unemployed. Yesterday I went to the dollar store and found some little gift bags full of hair accesories for the girls. Dug through the bargain bins at Old Navy to find some pullovers ($3.99 down from $16.50) for my nieces. I am not crafty so the grown-ups will have to lump it. We drew names on my husbands side and my mom and dad will get my visit for the holidays. Also I am going to look for some bargains tommorow morning.
thanks girls
Actually I went to the dollar store today and found these cool little plain wooden key holders, and I am going to paint them up for gifts. The kids each have one to give to their teacher and they are painting them however they want to.
I am also selling AVON so that is helping too
Thanks for caring and sharing
WOW!! A lot of us here have wonderful partners! I like to tease about mine a lot, but he is my best friend. I just wish I could give him my fat, because HE would lose it in a month!!! (GRR!)
Hey Virginia!! Sorry things are feeling so bad right now. Things are kinda tight for us too. I bake cookies, muffins, or breads for a lot of people on our Christmas list. DH has a huge family, and they ALL buy presents for everybody. We have started buying gifts ONLY (and small ones at that) for the kids. I think that a lot of his family thinks we are cheap, but to me the holiday should be about FAMILY and not about how much stuff you get. I think that painting the key holders is a GREAT idea!!! Also, Soozie is right about isolating yourself. She is the expert professional, and I know from experience!! There are a few of us here who suffer from depression, and I have found that when I have a down period, forcing myself to get out REALLY helps. For ME it took medication to get to THAT point however!!! I am glad that you have great family and friends around you, because the support really helps too. ALSO, Kidding nothing!! Sometimes I'd like to pull out my kids' hair too!!! Nothing like having a tough day, trying to make dinner from nothing in 5 minutes and then having them start in on you!! We love 'em, but they drive us nuts sometimes and IT IS OKAY TO ADMIT IT!!
Miss Chris-I am going to have to go to Old Navy!!! Also, any guy that likes Star Trek is okay in my book!! (We are fans too!!)
Den thanks doll! I may be the expert but i loved what you said to Virginia..about our kids and when we've "had it up to here" as my mom used to say! It's okay to think it and normal too...as long as you don't actually grab a handful of hair! Then it's time to go see your neighborhood therapist real quick!
And Virginia, I know Den and Ellis have both mentioned meds and I too am on meds. I'm more of an anxiety person but have some depression too. Sometimes it does take some chemical intervention so, don't suffer too long...if things don't get better consider some therapy or even the possibility of medication. However, you sound like you're really doing well inspite of feeling blue! Great attitude girlfriend!
We started doing a polyanna with the grownups in my family years ago. Its nice. The kids get presents...if they're younger than 16. Everyone else goes into the pot for the polyanna. There aren't that many kids under 16 in our family so its not too bad...just four right now.
My DP family isn't huge either. And there are only two grandchildren. We don't go crazy. It seems so nuts to go into debt for Christmas. I will say that two years ago we did go crazy for DD on Christmas. She was almost four years old that year and very into Santa. We found out that was a mistake because she got so many things she lost interest and didn't even want to open them all. She was totally overstimulated!
Last year we were more moderate and she was fine. This year she figured out that Santa is a myth! She is only five, well she'll be six in March. Hey other Moms when did your kids figure this out? My DP was devastated that our baby didn't believe! I told DP its just that our kid is so smart she started asking all these questions this year, like, how can the Easter bunny be real? Rabbits can't stand up and they are too little to carry baskets? If the Easter bunny isn't real who bought me those presents at Easter? and so on and so on...
I'm Jewish and DP is Catholic. DP says I should have kept the mystery going but when the kid was interrogating me at first I kept saying "I don't know" "Ask Mom (meaning DP)" but, finally I started answering honestly...I felt so conflicted...should I lie or tell the truth. DP was pissed at me for awhile but the kid really figured it out and just wanted confirmation...am I an *** for confirming it for her? Did I ruin her childhood? Thank you Dear Abby...I await your thoughtful reply.
Oy Vay i'm rambling!
Love,Soozie
What, there is no Santa??? Now I am devastated! How can that be? Everyone keeps telling me yes Virginia there is a Santa!
Soozie,
You do whatever you feel is right for your child. No one can say what is right for her but you and you partner. I am sure she will be fine with it. Just explain to her the spirit of Santa. The kindness and goodwill expressed in people hearts.
My daughter is 10 and son 8 and as of right now they believe. I think my daughter is a little skeptical, but wants to believe so does not ask. Hopefully, your DD will still have a wonderful Xmas! Happy Thanksgiving!
Virginia
Thank you so much Virginia. I thought that we'd just proceed as if there is a Santa. And yes, I told my partner that I wanted to share more of a spiritual feeling with our litte chipmunk in regard to the holiday. So, we'll work on that. Thanks again and really and truly...
Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.
Love, Soozie
Soozie, how do you explain the Chanukah gifts then? Or do you and your DP not give gifts.
Pardon my ignorance here as I don't have any jewish friends to inform me.
Could you not use the same explanation for Christmas gifts?
Just curious as I may have kids someday and have to deal with this.
My mom told me when I was younger that although Santa brought the gifts that mysteriously appeared on Christmas morning, my parents had to pay Santa for them. That way I didn't think everything was free and came up with a reasonable list every year. We still put out cookies and milk for Santa
and they were gone every morning (Thanks to Dad, he even left one with a bite out of it )
Soozie-My kids believed in Santa until 8 or 9. We always put Gelt in their stockings, and told them that Santa was Jewish. My Mom says when I was 6 I asked her about Santa, and she reluctantly admitted that he did not exist. THEN I said, "The same goes for the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy too, doesn't it?" She says she was devastated!! However, when I was 6 I also asked Santa (at the store) for a fairy. Apparently he responded, "How about an Easy Bake oven kid?" I think sometimes they go back and forth for a while. I remember "hearing Santa" after i didn't believe in him any more. She MAY convince herself again for Christmas. I always told the kids that the store santas were Santa's helper. I think once they ask you really have to tell them the truth. Most of them understand that it is a nice idea, even if not reality. Although my 12 year old was pissed for a couple of years about how adults lie to kids!!! We STILL give them a Santa gift though!!! (It drives them nuts...we pretend that WE believe, and WE didn't leave the gift!)
Mauvais-We left milk (or hot chocolate) and cookies until we were teenagers. THEN we left cookies and a scotch!!! My parents always left cookie crumbs too (so did we...), but NEVER left any of the scotch!!!
Virginia-I agree with you. The spirit of Santa is a good way to deal with it, because then they get into GIVING too; not just getting gifts.
My DH will probably leave me today. 
Why I love Tod
Christmas Gifts
Then it's time to go see your neighborhood therapist real quick! 
)
