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Old 12-07-2002, 01:25 PM   #76  
Cute & Fluffy
 
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Can't remember if I posted this before...

In my next life; I wanna be a female bear...

If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

If you're a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup . I wanna be a bear.


Ok now back to the Canada talk
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Old 12-07-2002, 03:15 PM   #77  
a work in progress...
 
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Bear-y funny! Thanks, Squeak!
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Old 12-07-2002, 03:53 PM   #78  
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Un-bear-ably! Let's hope the puns don't go any further!

Maybe we should start a PUN thread!
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Old 12-07-2002, 08:47 PM   #79  
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HEY!!! I think I AM a female bear!!!
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Old 12-07-2002, 08:56 PM   #80  
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I want to be a bear too! They get to eat a ton of blueberries and salmon (two of my favorites) and I don't recall that cubs require snowpants and an endless supply of mittens (cuz they keep getting LOST!).

And all she has to do is fix the male bear with a piercing look and I'll bet HE falls into line too!

Lidian
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Old 12-08-2002, 01:55 AM   #81  
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Yeah! And you get to go around bear naked all the time
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Old 12-08-2002, 10:29 AM   #82  
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Bumper Stickers for Ladies

Behind every successful woman is herself.
================================================== =
Oh my God, I think I'm becoming the man I wanted to marry!
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Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and
in high heels.
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A woman is like a teabag...you don't know how strong she is until you put her
in hot water.
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I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
career.
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Old 12-08-2002, 01:09 PM   #83  
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Good ones, Flower.



A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before
Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have
to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five
years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father
says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about
this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
"Like **** they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take
care of this," She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at
her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single
thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll
both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU
HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he
says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
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Old 12-08-2002, 06:00 PM   #84  
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 12-08-2002, 06:50 PM   #85  
a work in progress...
 
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oh, that was good...
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