Hello ladies!
Thanks over and over for your support of my decision to not do the summer camp! Everyone has agreed with me so far, especially those people that know the details. So, it's down to making a difficult phone call to the other directors, and I'm home free! BTW, I did turn in my paper on time, but as usual, I wasn't satisfied with it. I expect too much of myself sometimes!
Christina: It really sounds like you had a lonely time when you were a kid. But it is those rough times that make us stronger. Who knows why your live led the wonderful path that it has, but at least you can have the pride to own up to all that you have chosen to do for yourself. You can't change the past, but it really sounds like you are trying to make up for it by enjoying your present and future. Good for you
I know what you mean about the kids driving you crazy! I'm not a parent, but I work with kids all day every day, and sometimes they get the better of you. I think parenting is like the Peace Corps--"The Toughest Job You'll Ever Love". It sounds like you have a good handle on how to deal with them, even if they drive you a little nuts at times. That's what kids are for, right! I am an only child, too, and it wasn't until just recently that I started working with kids. I was scared of them! I had never been around any or even known very many from when I was younger. It's like another world, and when the sun shines, your heart melts; when the wind blows, you push harders; when the storms come, you brace yourself for another day. Hang in there--they're lucky to have you.
Big congrats! It must feel great to let go of those clothes. That's the thing that I can't wait to do once I get my rear in gear.
Ellis: WOW! First of all, I'm sorry that I misunderstood your last post, and thank you for clarifying that. I'm glad you found something that works for you. However, I'm really sorry to hear about the trauma that your family has faced. It must be so terrifying and overwhelming to have faced your daughter's attempted suicide. It also must be difficult to have had so much depression and sadness in your life. I completely agree with Soozie that it is of upmost importance to see a counselor/therapist that makes you feel comfortable. It seems like you and your daughter have found that. Please don't feel guilty about any impact your depression may have had on her. Depression is like any other physical illness, like cancer or pnemonia. There is nothing that you could have done to prevent from feeling that way, and you absolutely were the best parent that you could be at the time. It's wonderful that the two of you are trying to work some things out, but you have to let go of that guilt you feel if you want to move past it. It's fantastic that you found meds that work for you so that you can be yourself again. Thank you for sharing such a powerful story with us.
Thanks also for your kind, kind words! Sometimes, especially in my area of work, it's nice to hear something so positive about yourself. I don't ever take credit for my clients' accomplishments because they are the ones who work for their achievements. So, sometimes I feel like I don't do much, and it's nice to hear that I could be there for you when you needed an ear.
Shel: I'm also sorry to hear that you're having a rough time! You are absolutely NOT self-centered. That is what this group is for. You have some really rough waters that you're swimming in! I know what you mean about the BF and the relationship. It is so hard to have that love and apathy all at once. You have the right approach, though--is it worth it to endure so many more years of this up and down, or is it better to just rip off the Band-Aid and let the wound heal. Know this--you are a wonderful person, and if he isn't meeting your expectations, then you deserve (and will find) someone who will.
I know what you mean about life plans! 31 is so young, and you have a lot of time to achieve whatever you want. Sometimes I think that we don't plan life, it plans us! Just because you don't have everything you thought you would doesn't mean you won't have it. In fact, the friends that I have that got married right out of high school are going through bitter divorces and separations, while the friends who thought they'd never find anyone are enjoying their lives with their soulmates. Your life is going to come together--sometimes you have to realize how much you want something before it falls into your lap. It makes you appreciate it more.
You also touched me when you talked about having a hard time in college. I moved away to college at 17, and it was the worst time in my life for a lot of reasons. Unfortunately, the way that I dealt with it was to eat and eat and eat and eat. So much so that I gained about 50-60 pounds my first semester of school! I have gotten over it by now, but that old habit is still with me, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to change that. It makes me feel like I can't be myself or enjoy my life like I used to because of all this extra weight. It's so silly to let weight stop me from being all that I can be, especially because I really don't let much stop me! I just can't bring myself to feel complete until I can be at a normal weight like I used to be.
Mauv: Are you feeling better? I hope so!
Squeak: So sorry to hear about all the work stress. I like your positive outlook, though, that you are able to stick to your plan. I hate when my work gets crazy like that, but it sounds like you are such a valuable asset to your job, and I hope that they acknowledge all the hard work you're doing.
Den: AAAGGHH! I hate computers sometimes! It always seems like they spaz at the worst possible time. I'm looking forward to hearing from you, though. I am going camping this weekend, and we decided to go to a state park in the thumb. (I have a baby shower to go to on Sunday morning, so I didn't want to go too far away.) I leave for Traverse City in two weeks, and I can't wait!
Ruth: You've been keeping busy! I love gardening, but because I live in an apartment, I really can't have anything fun. I can't wait to buy a house--then I'll be bugging you all the time for gardening tips. When is your reunion?
Soozie: BIG CONGRATS on the gym! I know you are going to meet your goal this week. I hope I didn't offend you with my mental health professionals dump. I am also in the field, and I'll be done with my master's in April. It's been my experience that I look around and wonder why the **** some of those therapists are doing what their doing. Then again, I've met some that have truly inspired me.
This week, I am going to do my best to stick to a plan and not snack. I probably won't have time to work out because I have seven papers due between Monday and Tuesday (that's not a typo either!). Of couse I haven't started them, and I don't plan on working on them over the weekend! I am going to be bad today and order a pizza. I had a rough case at the police station, I'm tired, and I have a lot of work in front of me. I just don't feel like cooking dinner. (I'm never going to lose weight!) What diet plans (if any) do you all follow?
That's it for now. See you all soon! BTW-My name is Kat, and since I almost always write that at the end of my posts on accident, I will just tell you guys so I don't have to delete it anymore!
Kat
