Quote:
Originally Posted by Mazzy
Most men would not condescendingly call someone sweetheart in the manner he did
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Most YOUNG men would not call a woman sweetheart
And we really do not know the manner in which this OLDER man spoke or his mental state or how he would have spoke to a different person (older, younger, male or female).
We only know what OP has shared about her interpretation of events. She may be dead-on and the guy might be a Super-Jacka** or there may be 1001 other possibilities.
If OP had been a male, maybe the driver would have gotten out of his car and started a verbal or physical altercation.
Call me cynical, but I believer that pure and selfless motivations are exceedingly rare and the ability to determine other people's thoughts and motivation (and often even our own) even rarer. All we can do is guess and know that most of the time our guesses will be wrong.
But this guy's integrity, prejudices, and intentions do not matter. Refusing to take his advice because of the way he delivered it, is allowing yourself to be manipulated just as surely as if you followed the advice because he said it.
What he did and said has absolutely nothing to do with anyone other than himself. He may have had the best intention. He may have had the worst. He may have been a serial killer. He may have been a nice guy.
IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!
Personally, I would recommend a strategy of assuming the best, but being prepared for the worst.
Bad, even extremely evil people can seem good if they're charming and skilled in communication and manipulation -And very good people can seem like complete poopwads if they lack social graces.
My husband is one of the latter. He is blunt, opinionated, and stubborn to the point of rudeness. He thinks that everyone in the world would benefit by acting the way he thinks they should, and he's not reluctant to share his opinions. If he thinks you're doing something stupid (by his criteria) there's a 90% chance you will here about it (and not in a tactful way). His idea of tact is resisting the urge to call you a moron (but his tone of voice will say it any way).
Sounds like a complete jackass. In fact, after more than ten years of marriage, my family is just starting to understand why I married and am still married to such a jerk (which hubby himself has marveled at).
But his "good side" is just as big and bold as his bad side. He literally is generous to a fault (He has literally hurt himself to help friends). There isn't anything he wouldn't do for a friend, and if he's met you once, he probably will consider you a friend.
I tell you all this, because I can literally see my big, sweet bear doing something like this. He probably would come across as angry and judgmental - because he literally would be, in the situation. Later he would regret his anger and would apologize, if there was an opportunity to do so, whether the target was male or female.
Once, when a guy backed hard into our van in our parking lot (while we were stopped), he became so angry at the guy, I feared for our safety. He used more than a few choice swear words. Just calling his name "snapped" him out of it, but it was pretty scary to watch. The 20 year old guy who hit us was extremely polite and apologetic (Turns out the guy didn't have insurance and never paid for the damages. We later learned he lost his license as a result of unpaid damages in accidents he caused).
My rambling point is that it pays to have a WIDELY open mind regarding people's (especially stranger's) motivations. A seemingly "nice" person can be a serial killer, and a "jerk" might give you the shirt of his back (even while cursing you).
