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Old 04-30-2012, 09:13 AM   #16  
Overweight again...dang
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Wow! What a great thread!

I'd say I'm happy and content, finally at 42. I do, however, wish I didn't waste so many years in my 30s as a fat girl! I feel so attractive and confident, and think that it would have been better when I was younger. But at the same time, I'm not sure how! LOL!

I was quite depressed a few years ago. I hated my life, my marriage, my job... I felt trapped and alone. I regretted leaving my career to be a SAHM because I couldn't break back in to my field. I never thought I'd care, but here I was, feeling like I had no solid foundation (marriage falling apart), no identity, and no options. I was stuck. I think I went through my mid-life crisis at around this time. I decided to go back to school so I could go back to a career and support myself. My 5 year plan. It would take that long, and then my kids would be older, and I could dump my husbands sorry a$$.

I began my weight loss about 1.5 years ago. I can't believe it's been that long and I'm not even close to being done! But I feel better about myself than ever, and things are really OK now. Not perfect. I wish I didn't have to work full time. I miss being able to participate more in my kids lives, their school, etc. But my husband lost his job and I needed to pick up benefits. It's not my big career either, and I really dislike what I do. I'm still working on that career goal. But I'm so fortunate to have this job with such great benefits, and my husband wasn't out of work for too long. We're doing OK.

My weight loss has lead to an improved attitude, confidence and generally feeling good about myself. I look better than I have in years, and I'm healthier too because I am fit, not just losing weight. Being out and working has helped too. I feel sexy and attractive (and although I hate to admit it, the fact that I have received some attention from the opposite sex has fed in to that feeling). My marriage has even improved. My husband and I are getting along great, and now my 5 year plan includes him! But it also holds the reality that if things don't work out with him, I will have something to fall back on.

While there are plenty of changes I'd like to make, and I still have my moments (life just isn't perfect), I think overall, things are pretty good.
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Old 05-05-2012, 11:08 PM   #17  
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I find an amazing contentment a few times a month, but mostly I am thinking about what comes next. We have financial issues, which pretty much depresses the **** out of me so much so that I want to just run away to some unknown small town in Mexico and hide out. I am also fighting the wrinkles and chin hairs, menopause and no libido. I'm looking for a new career that doesn't mean college classes or big money spent. I have horrible lower back pain and neck/shoulder pain, so am stumped on what would fulfill me, and be gentle on my body.
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Old 05-10-2012, 11:31 AM   #18  
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Default 40 and confused

I turned 40 in March and it confused me. Birthdays never bothered me before but this one hit me and I am so spaced out about it. Maybe it is a continuation of my midlife crisis from 2008. I quit teaching and became a stay at home Mom I lost my identiy, my life had always been work and went into a depression that I am still working on. If I have to come up with an answer I would say I don't know. Maybe with the weight gone, time will help me know. Lsfunky
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Old 05-11-2012, 11:59 PM   #19  
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I turn 45 in August. My 20s were school and my 30s were family/career. Over the years, I took jobs and made decisions because they were the right thing for my family at the time. Now, our son is grown with his own family and I have 4 years until I'll qualify for retirement--not that I can afford to take it, but it's a point where I've always told myself that it would be my turn to find a job that I really enjoyed. So, I'm getting back into shape and looking toward the future.
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Old 05-16-2012, 05:31 PM   #20  
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Eh. I guess I am middle of the road leaning towards a NO. Late 40's. Tired of yo-yo weight most of my life. Husband may be mid job-change. He travels quite a bit now. Will probably have to move soon, we now have drug dealers...unemployed, loud cars, nightly two doors down and even tho we live in the historic district of a well know tourist town the police are doing nothing about moving seems to be the only option...every day is an much so that we have had to arm ourselves to feel safe.
Love my house...great views, antique house...but economy crushed any ideas of any remodeling dreams.
Have thirteen year old who goes to great private boy's school and we are very proud of him. But he has a two hour commute every day and that kind of stinks.
Bought a small beach cottage a few years ago as an investment (we received a small $ windfall)...but I don't enjoy staying there and leaving house empty with current neighbors. Could care less about our belongings but I have three cats that I worry about.
Also all the teens and 20-somethings on the beach is depressing!
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Old 06-16-2012, 09:36 PM   #21  
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Well, I've had a pretty happy life. I turned 42 this year and it hit me kinda hard. However, I do know that I kinda know what I'm doing now. I feel like I learned thru my earlier years and now I'm starting to get it. If that makes any sense. So, I guess Im saying I'm a pretty lucky woman with two great kids and a great husband. Must be doing something right. Now if I can just get my binging under control.
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Old 06-22-2012, 09:56 AM   #22  
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Turned 45 this May, and I feel like I'm on the right trajectory. I spent a few years panicking about running out of time to do all the things I want to do - in the process I've changed jobs 3 times and finally have found myself with tasks that pay well, are intriguing, and have almost zero stress. It's a job that stays at work. My 23-year marriage is far from ideal - it's pretty much a civilized, abstinent partnership, but it's not a situation that has to be dealt with immediately. DS12 is a fantastic young man and I get a lot of joy from watching him grow up. I have some concerns for the future regarding my parent's health - they're divorced and I'm an only child.

All in all, I have no legitimate complaints, or anything that is truly outside of my control. I'm learning to require less and less to be happy, and I have really high hopes that my 50's will be even better!
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Old 06-22-2012, 01:13 PM   #23  
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I'm 47 and I'm not happy with every aspect of my life. But I am very happy with others. Just like at any other time in my life.
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Old 06-22-2012, 03:52 PM   #24  
The time is NOW!
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I just turned 42, and for me, the 40s have brought huge changes so far. When I turned 40, I had a "mid-life shift" and did something I have always dreamed of my daughter into horse 4-H and adopted two fantastic horses. They are BOTH a huge responsibility and an amazing journey. They are part of what has inspired me to take better care of myself and lose weight. My daughter has morphed from a prissy, whiny girl into a stronger, more confident and grounded young woman who shovels manure & hauls hay. Horse ownership/showing is expensive (but cheaper than teen pregnancy or rehab - as another 4H mom reminds me).

My DH may have to change jobs & we may have to move away from our awesome 3 acres in a small town - where we have lived for 7 years...the longest I have lived ANYWHERE in my life. Of course, I would also have to change jobs...and I have held this one for 5 years - longest ever. We also just launched my son off to college - and that is both freeing and terrifying.

I wouldn't exchange my 40s for anything - I think I am better at articulating and meeting my own needs than ever before. However, as my kids need me less, I realize how much I have wrapped myself around them - and that leaves me a little lonely (DH travels a lot for work).
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Old 06-25-2012, 02:33 PM   #25  
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Hmmm, interesting topic. I would have to say both yes and no.

I was a young mom...had my first very young, and I have been married 26 years at the age of 45. I am looking forward to being "free" ...our eldest is getting married and our youngest is older but both still living at home. I keep waiting for them to leave so I can get on with my life. I feel like I gave up my own dreams to be a stay at home mom all of these years....looking forward to getting myself back and finding myself. Now some women at my age are looking at retirement, I am just thinking about what I want to do when I grow up (now that my kids won't need me as much) This is exciting, but also scary seeing I have only worked part time odd jobs here and there over the years. I don't regret it though...I was blessed to have spent time with my children and been a stay at home mom without the worry or stress of having to provide an income for my family.

I find that I am tired of taking care of everyone...I want to take care of myself now and I know that sounds selfish. Just wanting to move into the next chapter of my life, but at the same time a little scared of it. I also have some unique health issues and so I think for the most part I am very grateful for the health that I have right now and for the normalcy that I have in my life because it could change for me at some point. I know that with what I am dealing with, some things are uncertain in my life.

Some things have been much better in my 40's and yet there are other things that are getting harder...aging parents to take care of etc. I think life is like a roller coaster and has many different seasons. Hard to say if I am happy or not...I guess it just depends on the moment and what is going on. I will say that I have much less turmoil going on inside myself like I did in my 20's and 30's. Life eventually teaches you that many things just don't matter as much as you thought they did.
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Old 06-29-2012, 10:28 PM   #26  
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My life is far from ideal, but I love my life and embrace every year that I am on this earth. I do not approach difficulties or opportunity any differently than I did in my 20s. I accept the limitations that my advancing years and family life (that I chose) that are present. However, I do not let things, including my weight hold me back from anything that I want to do. It may be difficult and it may take time, but if I want to achieve it, I will to the best of my ability.

I do not say that I am 30 (again). Instead I announce that I am 44 and will add the 1/2 and 3/4 later in the year! I really feel that our inability to own our age contributes to the security of the 'glass ceiling' that keeps women from progressing. This, I believe, contributes to the age/wage gap.

I will say that the only thing that I do fret over is not having enough quality time to do all of the things that I want to do in life as I am always adding new things! Currently I am graduating with a master's degree, giving seminars, writing a book running two businesses, graduated one kid from homeschooling and ushering another into homeschool "Jr. High" and advanced from classes to a performing bellydancing troupe. My life is what I make it!

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Old 07-08-2012, 04:13 PM   #27  
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I am happy and so very lucky. I am happy with myself. I have a wonderful life, a wonderful daughter. We are healthy. Life is not easy but I find a way to make it through. I am so blessed.
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Old 07-09-2012, 03:47 PM   #28  
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Good thread! I feel great at 41 except for the weight, which will be gone in 6 months! I spent my 20's being single - traveling, dating, moving to a new state - and my 30th birthday was a real tough one for me. I knew the man I was with wasn't "The One" and that I wasn't living where I wanted to stay. I took charge, lost weight, lost the boyfriend and by the time I was 33, I married the man of my dreams and moved back to my home state! Hubby and I both got lazy in our happiness and put on lbs., but we also had 3 beautiful boys (ages 5 and 2 year old twins). I've been a SAHM for 2 years and it's been great and also a challenge. I definitely let myself go, but I am back on track to feeling good about myself. So, 40 was hard bc I felt and looked terrible. I just turned 41 and I vowed not to spend another year of my 40's hiding from mirrors and people!

Last edited by 3boys; 07-09-2012 at 03:47 PM. Reason: Typo!
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Old 07-09-2012, 05:32 PM   #29  
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Default I think I am

This is my first post on this board- I just turned 40. I already feel at home though as I'm reading many of the same themes on this thread from you all that I've felt in my own life.

I already hit my "Mid-Mom Crisis" in my late 30s. That's what I call it anyway. The "Mid-Mom" Crisis is more a function of where you're at in the kid-raising cycle than your personal age. It's when the kids are all in school and NEED you less physically and you finally have some time to decide what to do next. I think most of my life goals were about the "GETTING" phase of life- getting an education, a spouse, home, family, career. All that stuff is decided now and it's about hanging on to what I've got and making some stuff (like my weight) better. Who knew that the hanging on could be as hard as the 'getting' in the first place?

As for the question at hand. I am happy. I am fortunate to have a "hyperthermic temperment" which means that, unless I have a reason, I'm pretty much just happy as a matter of being. That said, my late 30s had me dealing with some hard stuff and struggling to be totally happy. I've come through the worst of that now but even if bad things happen, I have that same confidence in my ability to handle it that others have described. My 40s are going to be awesome! Even awesom-er if I could get some weight off!
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Old 07-16-2012, 04:45 PM   #30  
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I'm 48 and the best answer I can give is, "Not at the moment." I was fired from my job last Tuesday after months of nonsense with my former employer. Although I do have another job offer in the works, I'm worried sick about the whole thing. I've never been fired like this before. In my entire career, I'd always left my employer in good standing and on good terms. This whole mess has stressed me out.

On the other hand, a lot of other things in my life have improved over the last few years, not the least of which is my marriage. My husband has long term untreated PTSD and that got really ugly for a while. We still have our ups and downs because of it but we bought a house a little over a year ago that provides the kind of environment he needs to be calm. Or at least calmer. Our little house has turned into a haven for me to.

My weight loss efforts are going well; I've lost 53 pounds since January.

I guess for me it all boils down to my blasted job and getting back on track with that.
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