I've lurked these boards since my 30's and posted a few times in 30 somethings, but now I am 40 and not much has changed. Oh I've lost 10 pounds, over 3 years And I feel just pathetic about it. Sometimes I feel like I'll be stuck this way forever. Being fat is one thing, but I dont feel good either. And I do alot of talking, pitty partying, and not much else. I dont know if I'm tired of it, afraid of it, or am really just lazy. I think I'm all of those things but I dont know why. I have excuses at the ready and boy do I use them. Why do I want this so badly but feel like a self sabotager? Why in the world am I stopping/keeping myself from doing this?? Lately I'm just so down about it. I just feel there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I just want there to be an end to the tunnel, forget the light! I'm not even sure what to say. I have the info, I know what to do, I know what not to do, but how do I light the fire that I know is there? I feel hopeless.

When you're retired and in the last years of your life, will you be thinking I wish I watched tv more? I wish I ate that extra piece of cake? I really wish I spent more time sitting on my bum trying to ignore a problem that was getting me down??

Or will you be thinking I wish I moved my bum while I was young? I wish I did something about my weight? I wish I lost weight and felt good about myself? I wish I could be happy about my body?

I know that seems a realy cruel way to put it, but everytime I feel like opening a packet of crisps, or skipping my exercise for the day I think about that. I'm only 20 now. But when I'm a little old lady (well I hope little!!) I want to be able to look back on my life and smile. I want to have pictures I'm proud to show to my children/grandchildren/great grandchildren...I want to see these couple of years of being overweight as a blip. That I'm going to correct. And then I'll carry on living my life.

I already think that way now. The way I look doesnt matter much anymore. I'm only going to get older. I guess I'm just so depressed because I have been trying to lose this weight and I've changed my diet and I eat completely different than I ever did before and the weight is just not coming off so now I'm in a state of giving up and making excuses. I just dont how to get a hold of this and keep a hold of it. I'm sick of failing. I just needed to vent I guess.

Thats ok. I'm trying not to think "diet! diet! diet! exercise! exercise! exercise!"

It helps if I think of it more as a lifestyle change. I try and weigh myself at least once a week. And I will the scales to go down. I have just got out of a 5 week period where I was losing either 1/2lb a week or nothing at all. So am going to have to kick start my diet again. It sucks when the scales don't want to go down. Just keep at it chicken. You'll get there.

I weighed exactly what you do now and I'm 41. I had to learn how to accept myself as I was before I felt good enough to start trying to lose weight. I read a lot of fat acceptance blogs and started feeling better about myself first. Then I worked out for about nine months without losing a pound before I changed my eating. I really just focused on trying to feel better about myself and my body and having my body work (aka health at any size). The weight loss came after that.

Good luck!

Being 40 means its only more important to now to lose weight. I'm trying use being forty to motivate me, not get me down. I joined a gym and have been working out, right after i drop my kids at school. I alway tryed dieting never exercise, but truth be told i was afraid i wouldn't be able to do it at this size. I found out I can do it, now for the first time in my life i can actually say I'm enjoying it. Right now I'm not following any diet plan I'm just trying to eat sensibly and excerise. I may add a plan later, but I'm trying not to overwhelm myself right now. One step at a time.

Thank you for your comments and I agree with all of them. Sometimes it just gets so frustrating. I'm just getting tired of eating the right things and nothing coming off. Actually gaining at times. I keep fluctuating up and down the same 5 pounds. Its maddening. I'm going to talk to my doctor in april and see if theres something I can do to kick start this or see if there is something keeping me from losing the weight. I already know there is something going on hormonally, but nothing concrete on what to do about it yet or if its a cause. Even though I feel like giving up I never will.

Hi! I feel for you...I just turned 40, too, and I am currently on hormone replacement therapy. Long story, but I had an emergency hysterectomy 11 years ago with the birth of my daughter. I swear that I was gaining weight by breathing air molecules. 15 pounds crept up on me out of nowhere. That doesn't sound like much but I am short, very short, so it looked like a lot more. My husband bought me a beautiful ring for my 40th but I also asked for a diet delivery service for 2 weeks. I also knew what to do and how to do it but for some reason I needed help this time around. The food was pretty good but the portions were tiny. It was a real eye opener. I lost about 5 pounds in those 2 weeks and it was the kick start I needed. I realized I cannot metabolize carbs that well so I cut way back on them. But, that's me and it's working for me. When you see your doctor and they do bloodwork ask for a thyroid test. Mine was a little low and I am on a small dose of Armour thyroid and it helps a lot. Hang in there! I really do sympathize but if I can do it, anyone can. I whined about my weight for months, too. You are not alone!

Thank you for sharing that with me. I dont know why 40 came like a rock slide but its kicking my butt. The weight problem I've had for years, but not being able to lose it is new. I've always been able to drop 25 pounds pretty easily but its hanging on for dear life now. I hope I can find a good solution. I think I'm going to try a treadmill. I've been a couch potato all my life, well most of it, I've tried exercising, but I think its about the easiest thing I can do and I hear people get alot of good results from it. The hormone thing is frustrating because right now they cant tell if I'm pcos or menopause which confuses the heck out of me!! But thats another story. I may try to journal again. It didnt work for me in the past but it seems to work so well for others. I'll try anything!

~Oh, how the heck do you get all your water in??? I'm struggling so much with that. Its all I drink, but I dont drink near enough. I'm just not thirsty.

Ok I don't have an answer for the weight challenge but I can help w/ the water!

This works for me, as soon as I walk into my office I fill a half gallon water jug and add a little lemon. Then while I'm at my desk I take a drink everytime I have to get up to do anything. By the time I go home, most days, the jug is empty!!

Luckily for me I sit near the restroom!

I have a gallon tea jug and I fill it thinking I would drink it empty everyday and its not even close. I think I'm going to try unsweet tea for awhile and see how that works. My water is just terrible and I've tried a filter but it didnt help much so maybe the tea will help. I hate unsweet tea but its got to be better than my water!!

I work from home and I keep a container of water with me at all times. As soon as it's empty, I run downstairs and refill it. I drink about 48 ounces a day and that seems to be enough for me. I am not thirsty, either, but somehow you just get used to drinking it. In the morning try and have a large glass of water first thing, that way you get some out of the way immediately and it's good to rehydrate after sleeping all night.

I remember the feeling of being a size 22...it didn't feel good. I was lucky and got on The Biggest Loser..I lost a ton of weight and got into size 12- my husband didn't get on Biggest Loser but lost 100 pounds. You have to shape and mold a program to you. My husband didn't want to give up dinner and he didn't want to work out..we made a plan. For breakfast he had an apple and a nutritional drink with 16 calories, at 10 am he had a bannana, for lunch he did a lean cusine at 3 he had a snack-string cheese and a little beef jerky. By the time he came home he had only had 1000 calories to have a great dinner. Nope he didn't work out because he hates it, 100 pounds lighter now he does because it doesn't hurt so bad. You can do it and make a plan that will fit YOUR life! It can be done..this can be your year!

Thanks Lisa and biggestlosergirl. I'm trying. My doctor was very pleased with my 10 pound weight loss which encouraged me. (10 since last visit 6 months ago. the same 10 I yoyo over the last 3 yrs lol) She even said my face looked thinner. Whether it really does or not it was encouraging. I'm working on getting a treadmill so that will help too. Since I have started drinking unsweet tea, I drink alot. Its pretty much colored water so I figure it has to be good enough! I may do half tea and half lemon water. One of my biggest vices is cold cereal for a snack at night while watching tv. I just havent been able to give that up yet. I need to find an alternative thats still good enough to take my meds with. I need a little fat and protein so I dont get stomach aches. I'm getting a blood test this week to make sure I'm not diabetic. All my other blood work was great!!!!