I'm surviving the mother's birthday weekend!
Yes, I know I sound churlish, and I'll be sorry when she's gone ~ but headstuff is headstuff, and it's still a struggle.
Anyway, yesterday's meal of my meatloaf and carrots mashed with philly went down well. I was polite but firm in the face of repeated offers of shortbread or toffees.
Part of my headstuff is that she brought me up to be ashamed of being fat while at the same time stuffing me full of food and, when since ever I was old enough to have an opinion, being offended if I turned down any food offered.
Part of my headstuff is that I do not, not, not want to tell her I'm dieting. I can't describe why, beyond saying it would make me feel too vulnerable. Controlling my weight is my personal secret. Hm.
I did pray that God would sit on my lips, so that I don't say anything exasperated; and preferably in my heart, so that I wouldn't even feel exasperated. The former is working so far, the latter not so much.
I've forgotten (genuinely!) the yogurt for today's meals. This means I'll get a 30 minute walk in to get it, plus that's 30 minutes in my own space. Should be good.
Oh, and the weight is moving again, down to 182.7. I can just about see the foothills of the 170s on the horizon!
Hang in there Rosinante - you're doing great! It's difficult to turn down food from relatives (I have the same problem when I go to my Dad's in New Brunswick - every other house in town contains relatives, and they all want you to eat something!). Just oohh and aah about how wonderful it looks/smells, be firm in refusing gracefully and remember the big picture -- the one in which you get thinner and healthier!
My nerves are all jangly and braced, and I would normally eat a giant bar of chocolate. I'd prefer not to angst-eat at all but I've bought myself some cheese strings, less than 70 cal each, for if I get really desperate!
Yes, today's a work day, which does give me a breather.
The rest of the family are driving up country or down country accordingly to the Big Lunch at 14:30. At a carvery, so I can have meat and clean veg. I've downloaded their calorie listings, so might go to half a Yorkshire pudding!
Tonight: hearty soup and crunchy bread (me no bread) and birthday cake ~ surely they won't want much after a giant meal?
One branch is staying until tomorrow lunch time : steak casserole with dumplings; cassatta and end of birthday cake, which, again, takes the pressure off a bit.
Then Tuesday it's just me again, until Wednesday mid-morning.
I wish I were a good enough daughter Not to have all this headstuff but at least I'm a good enough daughter not to let it show!
I wish I were a good enough daughter Not to have all this headstuff but at least I'm a good enough daughter not to let it show!
That's it. That's the bottom line. Avoiding the headstuff is not possible - not letting it show - that's the tricky part - and you are doing it masterfully.
I find sometimes in hindsight that the anticipation stressed me out more than the actual family events. You're planning ahead and staying on track. Hang in there, and try to get in some more "me" time!
Just got in from church. hoovered the floors of dog hairs, fed and pooped dogs, done the spare washing up, rearranged sitting room back into a sitting room (mo. sleeps down there, her choice), just re-done the make-up, about to get dressed ~ but I can manage a 5 minutes.
Guess what I fell asleep doing last night? Running through my wardrobe of retrieved clothes, trying to decide what to wear for today's celebration! Wow! ;D