Heather - my sister's husband is a marine, but was stationed in pax river. they are in lexington park now. at any rate, welcome!

as for everyone else, i had this long post typed, walked away and forgot about it, and now, well its gone. so thanks for all the well wishes about my family and congrats to all the losers. sorry there arent more directed, but im lazy and i dont want to go back

Please notice Sarah above. I merged her thread over here before I checked where the timing was. I don't usually do that, I usually check to make sure there haven't been alot of posts after that time, I just screwed up this time. So Sorry.

Hi Sarah: Welcome to our little corner.

Sarah - hello and I am glad you came to this site. I too have been on various WW sites and haven't found them half as welcoming and supportive as this site and the wonderful people on it.

As for being 299 lbs, oooooh 1 lb less, hmmm can you join us here? Of course you can It's always lovely to have new people here. I look forward to learning more about you.

Felicia - lovely to see you posting after a few days and what a fabulous photo of your little work out buddy. He is such a cutey.

Sorry that your Gazelle Rider hasn't turned up yet. I hope when it does come that you can put it together without too much difficulty. I read somewhere that it's a bit of a nightmare. So good luck with it.

Heather - thanks for telling me more about Navy life, it does sound pretty cool. I am so sorry though that you have to put up with immature women who oink when you pass them by. You think you leave that kind of behaviour behind when you leave school, you don't expect to get it from supposed adults, and parents at that!! Well you can just look forward to when the day when you are slim and gorgeous and when they have to keep their ugly mouths shut!!

Luan - oh rats, shame you lost that long post, I don't blame you for not wanting to write it all again.

Sharon (voodoo) - I sent you an email earlier, I hope you got it safely.

Wyllen - how are you doing, I hope you aren't working too hard.

Lori - missing hearing from you, hope everything is ok.

Ok well time to email, so take care all and bye for now,

Hugs,

Ammi

Someone asked "How did I let myself get like this?"

I have asked myself this one so many times...and of course I have my own answer. If you can answer the question that's great. If you have figured out how to undo what you did..that's even better...because those are tools you will be able to use for life. Don't look back and lament how you got there...but now focus on your new journey and take it day by day. Celebrate every day that you are not where you once were and commit yourself to staying on that path. I think that most of us can say that our arriving at our current or heaviest weights were a combination of choices we made throughout our lives. As my WW leader says, none of us got here from one cheeseburger.

How did I get to 312 lbs? I'll tell you.

I was date raped when I was 16 years old. I tried to rationalize it all out in my head. I think I got fat as a protective barrier of sorts..I figured that if I were so unnattractive that nobody would want to do that to me again. I also found that when my life sucked, food was a true comfort. Food never stabbed me in the back or lied to me or caused me stress or made me fail a test or made me cry. Food was my friend. I also come from a family of eaters, so it was also partially learned behavior. My dad wouldn't let us have junk food in the house (outside of granola bars) but when we went out to eat..there were no limits. I was really heave for the first year + of Jason and I being together. I'm sure that a part of me figured that he loved me for who and what I was so why change. It's easy to get complacent when you're 300+. If you get that good at something, why change? In the end, joining WW was Jason's idea. He was borderline diabetic (not insulin dependent) and as he got more sedentary between working from home and 7 months of being unemployed he put on more weight. We tried to help each other out..but in the end all we did was resent one another for taking away the bread basket at dinner. So we both committed to WW together...and we still support each other. He did love me at 312 (I still have no idea how) and he loves me now. He will love me even if I don't lose another pound. Finding someone who actually loves me and wants more from me than just a roll in the sack really helped. It helps me to feel worthwhile and like a real person who is deserving of love. I still have a terrible time accepting compliments...someone called me skinny and I replied "not yet, but skinnier." I don't know if I will ever look in the mirror and see skinny.

So that's my story.

I took it easy this morning, then I got on a cleaning/sorting spree for about an hour or so in my bedroom. It doesn't have a closet- long story, but it was my den until my knee problem wouldn't allow to go up & down stairs to my master bedroom. So after I managed to clear my bed back off, I decided to take a 'short' nap...only to wake up 4+ hours later, wondering why it was dark. Guess yestedays procedure took more out of me then I realized. I'm going to take it easy this evening and hopefully tomorrow I'll feel up to doing more.

I did find my Leslie Sansone tapes when I was cleaning. The ones I have are from 2001 and use round, weighted balls. They also came with a 10 minute toneup workup from her too. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel up to trying a little. I need to convert them over to DVD so I can do them in what is now my office area. I also need to edit the comercials out of session 2 of Biggest Loser and burn it to DVD so I can take it off my computer. I've gotten spoiled with having a media center computer system that I haven't used a regular VCR in ages.

I'm off to crawl back into bed...and hope tomorrow is a more productive day...

Hi everybody! Welcome to all the newbies!!

I am glad that everyone is feeling pretty good and doing well!

I have to tell you that I weighed at the Drs office Monday and weighed 296 (a 3 pound gain); Today I weighed at the psych office and weighed 294 (a 1 pound gain) Then I went to the gym where I always weigh from the begining, it is my official weigh in scale and it said I weigh 291 a 2.75 pound loss!!!!

I love those scales and phooey on the other two, who knows when they have been calibrated. The ones at the gym are brand new and should work better than those old ones do in my opinion.

So, the peanut butter debacle and the eating out with Carolyn slowed me down but did not put me in the negative! I had a positive reduction and am that much closer to my Valentine's day goal! hurray.

I am a happy camper! Feel my joy! but still no more peanut butter for me and better choices when I eat out if I have to eat out! I promise!

Take care everybody, I'll be reading you tomorrow!

Honiangel-it is hard to get everything to work together in the beginning. Just hang in there and know that the only way you can fail is to give up.

ZedAus-I remember the first time I went up a flight of stairs without getting winded. I was amazed by the normality of it. I wanted to jump for joy.

Mechell-I also have low thyroid. I can’t take as much thyroid as I need because it works against my high blood pressure medicine. I take just enough so that my hair doesn’t fall out. It can sure lead to depression too. Don’t just assume because you are young that you can’t have health problems. Anyone of any age should see a doctor before just starting an exercise program. And yes, I know just what it is like to push past some invisible barrier weight wise. At 300, I was the object of ridicule. At 400, I was the object of scorn, at 500, I was potentially contagious, and at nearly 600, I was ignored as if I did not exist. My goal is normalcy.

Jilly-you should be proud of yourself for being prepared for an eating out. Knowledge is power.

Dogpal oh buddy of mine-I hope your job interview went well. I just realized that you and I are now in the same time zone, although I’m a tad closer to the North Pole than you are.

Ammi-I haven’t weighed since I got here. Austin weighs at his doctor. I’m not going to be on the insurance until my paperwork goes through. It gets mailed tomorrow. I have a private policy, but it is expensive, and I have to pay for everything up front. So I’d better stay healthy. I’m glad Daren’s problem wasn’t as serious as it could have been. I worry about Austin because he is at the age where his father had a heart attack. I’ve got to work fast if you know what I mean. At least he is also worried enough to be compliant. I deal with having a big difference between waist size and hip size by putting bungee type draw strings in my pants. I can cinch them up, and I don’t worry about them gapping in back and showing my crack.

Heather-I am also sold on the military having been a brat. My foster son is stationed in Portsmouth at the Navy hospital, and is getting ready to get transferred to a destroyer in Mayport. About the gym, I’ve said this many times before, you can not die of embarrassment, but you can die of obesity. I strutted into the pool at about 480 pounds, and dared anyone to look at me crossways. I survived, so can you. I can’t tell you how many women have told me that seeing me in the pool gave them the courage to come in too. There is a glass viewing wall between the pool and the snackbar, so they would be chowing down, look our and see my beached whale impression, and I guess get guilty.

Thank you all for the words of encouragement, they mean a lot to me. And I don't think I could express, although you probably each know for yourself, how much inspiration you offer. Seeing the weight trackers and how much success many of you have already realized...it's very inspiring, and I want to thank you for that.

I had a much better food day today Although I made enchiladas for dinner, I only ate a little of the tortillia, mostly just dug out the chicken. And I got my water in, and I already got one 2 mile workout in and I'm heading to the next now. I just wanted to stop in and say hi and thank you and wish everyone a wonderful tomorrow.

Okay I have been awol lately... I'm reading all the posts, but you all go too fast for me! But when I saw ammi ask about me, I thought I'd say hi!

I am going a little crazy with work now. I have a conference to attend at the end of the week and a presentation for said conference to finish (start? okay, I just started...). I'll be in CA for a couple of days. It's funny, I'm not really worried about the food like I have been for every other trip I've taken since starting my journey. I know that even if I don't make great choices that I will still be able to get on track when I get home. PLus, I'm into a really good eating and exercise groove lately... that will hopefully make up for any badness when I'm gone.

I have a great NSV to report -- apparently, I found my waist again!!!!

Catherine -- Just wanted to say I loved the wedding photos and am thrilled to hear you getting on so well.

Ammi -- I was scared to hear about Daren, and am glad it isn't as serious as it could have been. Just wanted to tell you how proud I am of the choices you have been making. That's the way to kick the weight out of there!!!!!!!
I WILL answer your email someday, I PROMISE!!!!

Finally, welcome all the new chickies!

Hi everyone,

Well, my interview was sooooo fun! I got there, right next to the Spokane River where the dam is so it was amazing. It was on the third floor and I told myself that I would just be me and they either liked me or not. There will be other jobs. As a matter of fact, after driving over there if I am offered the position I probably won't take it because it is very far to drive daily. I actually had a great time though. It was a panel interview and they told me at the end that I did really well and they wanted me to know that they had 100's of interested candidates for the job but that they were only doing interviews with 5 or 6 people that they considered to be the " Cream of the Crop" and I was really high up there. I felt so good. It was so nice to be liked and appreciated for a change. Or, maybe it was partially my attitude. I don't know but wow. Who has fun going to job interviews? Thanks so much for all of your encouraging words and stuff.

Julee: Thanks so much for sharing with us. I'm so sorry that happend to you. That is aweful and hopefully your survivor story can help others.

Catherine: So good to see you posting. I am so very happy for you that you are in cloud 9! I will have to look on a map now ans see where you are. Have you seen the Northern lights yet? You can see them from here occasionally. I have seen them up at my parents house in the summer where they used to live. They are beautiful and amazing.

Well, blessings to you all and chat with you tomorrow,
Dogpal

Good Morning All,

Ahhhh things are back to normal now. Daren is feeling much better and he is on the school run. So I have my half an hour to catch up on here before going to do my exercising.

Christine - I am glad you got your room cleared out, was it in there that you found the WATP videos?

I know what you mean about having a media centre on the PC, it does spoil you doesn't it. We have one and so far we have had a lot of fun making music CDs on it. We have to sort out a decent ariel before we can record TV. I can't wait til we can record straight onto the PC and then burn stuff onto disc!!

GarnetFairy - oh I just love it when I can say I TOLD YOU SO I just knew when you weighed on your normal scales that you woud see a loss. Well done on losing 2.75 lbs

Catherine - I know what you mean about being concerned about Austin especially as his dad had a heart attack at the age he is now. Daren's mum had a heart attack in her early 40s and has suffered with angina ever since. Daren could do with losing a few lbs too, so we are both being good together with him just cutting back on portion sizes, and me doing WW.

That's kind of good that you haven't weighed since you got there. Hopefully that means that when you do weigh again you will see a good loss!!

I never thought of putting elastic into my trousers, it seems a good solution though because you are right about ending up with your butt in site if the wait gapes when you sit down or whatever. I better buy a stock of elastic in

Felicia - I totally forgot about the width thing, it's one thing to weigh 300 lbs and for it to take your weight, but I am really wide especially in the butt area too so I don't think I would fit on a Rider yet. Good job I am not going to get one until July. I am glad it didn't take too long to put together, and I just hope hubby isn't aching all over today from being on it for so long yesterday lol. I can imagine him hobbling all over the place with really sore legs!! I will take a look at your blog when I am done here to see some of the pics you mentioned.

Honiangel - glad to hear you are making good food choices, and are keeping up with your exercise. When do you weigh in? I am sure you will see a loss with all the effort you are putting in.

Wyllen - lovely to hear from you, and do tell, where did you find your waist Is it the same as you remembered it from last time you saw it on your NSV!!!

I think you have the perfect attitude to dieting. You know that you can treat yourself or at least not be really strict with what you eat when you are out, or away and you know that you can get right back on track. I think that makes all the difference, not having guilt when you eat more than you normally would. Well done.

Thank you for your praise on my food choices recently, I must say I surprised myself not comfort eating. In days of old being in the hospital and with the stress of not knowing what was wrong with Daren I would have eaten anything in site. I guess I told myself that if it wasn't Daren's heart that was giving him trouble then I could end up in hospital myself with my own heart problems if I don't lose this weight. It kept me motivated enough to say no to all the treats I could have bought!

Dogpal - I am so happy that the interview was so great. Perhaps knowing that you wouldn't really want to take the job because of distance helped you to be relaxed enough to not be nervous and uptight. Will you really turn it down if it is offered to you?? Have you got any other interviews lined up elsewhere?

You've seen the Northern Lights, how cool is that. I have only ever heard of them and how spectacular they are. You are so lucky to have seen them.

Sharon (voodoo) - how is hubby, is he over his tummy bug now. What about the boys, I hope they didnt catch it. I have to go to a stupid parent's evening at Caleigh's school at 5.30 so am not sure if I will have time to chat on MSN today. I might be able to go online around 3.30 though, so if I can, then I will look for you.

Sharon (neurotica) - you haven't posted for a few days, are you doing ok?

Where are all the Brendas??? We had so many, but not a peep lately. If you are lurking, be bold and say hi again

OK time for me to go work out, so I will 'read' you all later

Hugs,

Ammi

ammi - hows the working out going TODAY? lol i hope you are doing well

i am eating my snack - sugar free jello with coolwhip free - 0 points

i did an hour and a half at the gym today (i was there 2 hours) and i even RAN on the treadmill. it was only for like one minuite, but, still i did it

julee - thanks for sharing your story. its hard to come to terms sometimes with why we are the way we are. as soon as we can accecept it, and admit it, we can learn from it and leave it behind. you are in my prayers

i cant say really why im the size i am. i mean ive always been the fat kid. all my life. i was raised by my great grandmother. her way of showing that i was loved was to just give me whatever i wanted. when i was a kid it was mcdonalds, when i was a teenager it was an out of state school and a car. i just ate a lot of junk food when i was a kid. when i was in high school i started to starve myself to lose weight. it never helped. i didnt use a scale, and i never felt anything other than light headed. my biggest problem beyond that is that i just dont eat enough in a day. i know it sounds wierd, but i just dont. well, didnt - im on ww now and i cant help but eat - i dont usually eat breakfast, and sometimes go til late in the afternoon til i eat, so it just stays with me. now that im on odd hours i try to get at least a slim fast optima (less sugar) in me within an hour of waking up, and now that im on set a lot, or at the gym i always have to have food with me or my stomach gets angry with me

Cindy - great to see you posting again. I think you are right that with the help of this message board and the people on it we will all get to our goals. The support and friendship is amazing.

Luan - I managed to do my exercise today, it's only half an hour, but I do it three times a week and that's so much more than I have done in years. So I am still feeling pretty good

you RAN on the treadmill 10 seconds, 1 minute, who cares how long for, you did it

Gotta go, but will be back later.

Hugs,

Ammi