because I wanted to make sure everyone read it.


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Originally posted at the end of the last thread:


First off.....

Jeanine: Let me welcome you. This is a FABULOUS group of ladies and personally..... I don't know what I would do without them. We are all very diverse, yet all the same. It doesn't matter what you're going through, chances are.... one or more of us have went through it too and can sympathize. Post often..... We talk about all kinds of things, not just weight loss. Now, to answer your above questions. When you see #/#/# within our signatures, this is what it represents:

The first # is our highest/starting weight. The second # is what we currently weigh. The third # is our personal goal. It is not something you have to do, but alot of us do.

To answer your other question, usually when there get to be aproximately 30 posts, we start a new thread because we like all the posts to appear on one page. Once it hits that 30 mark, it starts rolling onto another page. I have personally went into my preferences and allow 40 posts on a page, but it just seems like we've always went to the new thread at 30, so I think it's habit more than anything.

Once again..... welcome. We are very glad to have you here with us.


Now....... I know you guys do not expect an explanation for my lack of posting here lately, but I want to tell you all the same. As I'm sure most of you know, I have fell off the wagon as of late. You know what....... I'm actually tired of using that term, so I'm not going to anymore. The fact is, I stopped caring about what I put into my body and I've pretty much been eating what I want to and not exercising or drinking water. AND.... I've been pretty depressed about it. I mean, honestly..... you can't help but feel like a failure when it seems like you can't ever commit to anything. Well, not so much commit to anything, it just seems I can't commit to myself. It doesn't seem to matter how fired up I am at the beginning.....sooner or later, I get tired of counting points, weighing and measuring and I just want to eat a damn big mac! Yes, I know I can have a big mac within my points...... but that is NOT the point. I don't want to count my frickin 13 pts. I just want to be normal and eat what I want! I just get so tired of the whole thing sometimes.

THEN...... there are the times that I look into the loving eyes of my children and have to wonder what in this world they would do without me? I have to ask myself how food could possibly be more important than they are?

Now, I know you're probably going to say, "Aww Tina, don't be rediculous.... of course food is not more important to you than your children." Well, apparently it is. I know that if I do not stop eating the way that I am, I am going to develop high blood pressure, heart disease and perhaps diabetes. All of these things will shorten my life, which means my children could quite possibly grow up without their mama.

Yet, even that thought doesn't seem to be enough to make me stop.

Yeah, I know I'm being kinda morbid now, but I have to..... to get me to where I need to be. It just seems so hopeless sometimes, you know? I just have to keep wondering and asking myself, "Why bother to start again..... when I know at some point, I'm just going to quit again?" Yes, I know that is "stinkin thinkin" but that is the only type of thinking I seem to be capable of lately.

Now, being in this frame of mind...... how do I possibly come here and offer support? How can I possibly come here and root you on when I can't even pick myself up off the floor? You guys deserve better than that. And yes.... I know it sounds selfish, but that's the way I feel.

I'm know I should probably put my own needs aside and just get in here and post and congratulate those of you that are kicking those pounds to the curb and support those that need it. But I've always believed that you guys deserve nothing but my best and I haven't exactly been at my best lately, so what to do? Come here and moan and groan and expect you to lift me up or do I pull myself up out of the gutter?

I post on another board and there is an individual that posts and everything that comes out of her mouth is negative. She never congratulates others on their successes, she never offers support or advice. It seems like the only time she ever even posts is if someone in this world is doing something wrong to her or if she needs support. I do NOT want to be one of these people. I like to be a giver and not a taker. Sure, we all have to take from time to time.....but I am a much better giver.

So..... I just thought it was better, seeing as I didn't feel I had much to offer, that I just stay away. It wasn't that I didn't care about you guys.... that would be impossible to me. It's just that I care SO much about you that I don't want to come here and spew the nastiness that has been my life lately.

Don't get me wrong...... everything else in my life is fabulous. It's just the weight loss issue, as usual. I know in my head and my heart what I have to do... it's just a matter of doing it. It's just a matter of hearing that *click* and making a change. It seems like everyday I have the courage to start again and before the night is out, I've lost it. Everytime I say......"This time.... I'm going to do it." This time never lasts very long and it makes me feel like such a fraud and a loser that I can't stay dedicated to something this important.

Awww crap. Do I even need to tell any of you this? Do you not already know what I'm talking about because you've been through it 100 times yourselves?

I'm not giving up. Giving up is NOT an option.

I just need something to tie it all together.

BUT WHAT?!!!

This is Day 2 OP! I did really well yesterday and doing pretty good today too. Weekends are hard, but I am going to try to at least pay attention to what I eat.

Jeanine: Welcome. I live in Detroit. What suburb do you live in?

I am currently planning my January vacation to Florida and just booked our condo. I am trying to think positive about work and doing the budget here, and just realized that in less than 60 days, I will be in Florida.

Well, lunch is just about over.

Toodles....

Hello!

I am not so good at expressing myself sometimes ;so please forgive me if I don't always make sense.......

SusieH: good for you day 2 at staying OP...
Jan in Fl sounds really nice...a whole lot better than Jan. in Iowa!

QueenB:
Get in here and stay in here with the rest of us please!! We need your words of support and humor ..

Don't you know that I can say with some certainity that everyone of us have felt the way you have today!!

You haven't failed or you wouldn't keep trying.... Bend over so I can kick your BUTT! NO MORE hiding out in the STINKIN THINKIN pit!!

So you have a bad day or two...snap out of it and send one of us an email , a PM, or post like you did today. we will be there for you, just as you are for us! God Bless you Woman!!

I did go to my Weigh In and I did lose a little bit more...I am down almost 22 pounds since Sept 12.....I have gained some weeks and lost some weeks, but as the leader pointed out today What I have lost is like carrying around a 12 pound turkey and a 10 pound turkey ...When put that way it puts things into perspective!I was thinking just lugging a couple of frozen turkeys home and carrying them very far would be a chore...No wonder I am always tired!! I can't wait to see what it will feel like to be 100 pounds less....sure will be easier to get around!!:

Anyway Love to all and please remember my favorite quote:

Tina, I can relate to your post. I'm having a hard time right now on a lot of levels, and I just don't think I can offer much in the way of support. By the way, I'm sorry I missed your birthday. Sounds like you had a great day.

Jeanine: Welcome! This is a great group of ladies, and a great website over all. You'll find a lot of help here!


I weighed in at my TOPS meeting on Tuesday-I gained a pound, but I'm still in TWOterville!

Hello friends. I am also off the wagon. I am sick too with some kind of crud. Remember I love all of you and wish you all the best

Hey everyone

Day 14 looks like it is in the bag!

Food has been good. Think I've been too busy for it to be otherwise. I seriously need to get back to drinking enough water, though. It is so much harder for me as soon as the weather cools. That and I need to be taking a multi-vitamin. I seriously hate swallowing pills, and those are always so huge! I tried a liquid vitamin, but it smelled and tasted so bad that I kept gagging and couldn't get it down. They sell gummy bear kid vitamins at Costco in a huge bottle. I should check out the RDA percentages on those.

The family is all together tonight, something which is becoming a rarity. I'd better be getting out of here and spending real time with them.

Oh, one thing before I go. Remember when I was wondering if you should trust a government agency that tells you the check is in the mail? The answer is NO!!! We called back after two weeks and the person said she didn't know why we were told that, but DH's file wasn't anywhere to be found again. After another week and a half, DH finally managed to contact the same person (the only one who seems to know he exists) and she informed him that his claim has been denied. He will appeal, but at this rate, that could be next spring or beyond before there is another answer.

I'm off to play with the fam now. Take care, all!

Andria

P.S. I can't believe I almost left without posting some congratulations for Barb and Michelle! You go girls!

Hi girls! Just a quickie cuz it's late.

I was really busy today. YIKES! Had jobs from one end of town to the other. I put over 100 miles on my van today. Worked two jobs this morning, had lunch with DH (free, cuz it was a job too ), then shot up to the north end of town for a bookstore, then across to the northeast side for two banks. I left this morning at 9:30 and got back in the door at 5:00. Long day...and of course lots of PAPERWORK! Most of it is done, just two more reports I'm putting off until morning.

I'm a "showgirl" again tomorrow, but have Sunday OFF! YEAH! I have to do trailers for Tupac Resurrection and Master and Commander. I'm not sure that we will stay to see either of them. I would like to catch Runaway Jury, but we'll see what kind of mood honey is in. #1 son called from work and said, "tell dad I'm going to go see The Matrix tomorrow night whether he wants to come or not." So guess what? I get a night off! YEAH, again!

Tina: Now, girlfriend, you know that your arse needs to be in
here with us no matter what's happening in your life. This thread is a give AND take, sometimes you GIVE, and sometimes you TAKE! That's what it's all about. How many times have you been here to lift our spirits? LOTS! And if that's what you need from us now, then that's what you need! And in answer to your question of why we keep starting over again: because if we didn't, we'd be much larger than we already are and there would be nothing to keep us in check!!! It's the good habits we've learned (that don't completely disappear when we're off the wagon) that keep us from blowing up like even bigger balloons! 'nough said!

Andria: You're doing so well. I'm really excited for you. You were talking about your program easing up a little after this week. I must have missed it, what are you following? SouthBeach?

Jeanine: The other reason that we try and start a new thread every 30 posts is so that we can kind of keep track of how many posts we have total. This thread was started in July of 2000 and we've had right about 30 posts per thread, times 441 threads = 13,230 posts. Kinda impressive! I was asking about where you were from because of Susie on the east side of Detroit and I'm in a northeast suburb of Detroit. And....I do get around with my job. I was in Southfield, Dearborn, Novi, Auburn Hills, Clinton Twp., and Chesterfield today. You can see I wasn't kidding about getting around! And the curiosity gets me every time.

2cute: Glad to hear the old house is done and over with. One headache gone.....how many more to go????

Judy, Judy, Judy: I was thinking about you when they were showing pics of all the snow in upstate NY on the news. Are you snowed in, or just plowing through?

Katrina: We had nasty, nasty winds here too. 60 MPH gusts. But we sent all the witches your way! Enjoy!

Terri: That chicken recipe sounds great. I'm so terrible with spices. I never know what goes good with what. I really should take a cooking class. But heck, then I'd probably eat more! Guess that's not a good idea!

Barb: Sorry you missed Survivor. I was surprised at the immunity challenge. All the talk was about getting Rupert out and then no one put any coconuts in his bins. I think the editors just pulled out the few comments that they overheard people saying about Rupert so that their commercials for the show looked more interesting. I think they do alot of that conniving. Besides, if they get rid of Rupert, no one will eat. He's the only one that can catch fish! * Good job on the pound down!!!

Steph: Plot it out, kiddo. We'll help whatever way we can!

Pam: You must be really, really busy. You're not here much lately.
We miss you!

Michelle: Good job on the 5 pounds. Keep up the good work!

Syn: Great job losing 22 since September. You go girl!

Lucky: I don't know the first thing about Cardamom, but I'd be happy to look for it (I want to make that tea too) and pick you up some. Let me know.

Susie: Hope WI (not Wisconsin) goes well for you tomorrow. Don't let a few pounds (if that's the case) do to you what they did to me this week. TOTAL SABATOGE!!!

Joanne: Sorry about the gain, but I’d take your 1 over my 9 any day. We’ll do better this next week, won’t we?

Mary: Sorry to hear you’re sick. [[[hugs]]] Hope you feel better real soon.

Where the heck are our other friends? There's bunches that come to mind, but this time I'm going to mention Sandy and Natalie. Where are you guys? And Sara? You blow in here for one post and then you're gone again? Jen? Nope, not going to miss putting your name in here this time. What about Duckie? Is it snowing in Alberta??? And what about Amanda? We haven't heard from you in a good long time.

And today's query: Who the heck designs bathroom stalls??? I swear! They are not made for large girls to begin with. Then when you do manage to fit in them, they stick the sanitary disposal box right at hip level (like you want your cheek up next to it, or you want to look in it? NOT!) If that's not there, then they put the toilet paper holder there. What? So you can stick you head between your knees to look for the end of it? I mean even skinny girls can't like that! Argh! Sorry, probably too graphic for the faint of heart, but that is my complaint of the day.

Guess I'll run for now. #1 son works early on Saturday morning so maybe honey will ravish me in bed in the morning since I never seem to make it to the sheets at the same time he does at night! See you all later. Love ya.

...but I had to pop in before I throw myself into bed!

I started the day with an 8:00 Dr's appt...just a follow up from three months ago, so that he could review my blood work (and get another $10.00 out of me!) The good news is, all my labs are great except for a slight elevation in the cholesterol...shich was actually lower than the last time it was done, eons ago. The great news is that I'm down 10 from three months ago. Doc was quite pleased! I know that I had lost more and then put a few back on, but I didn't feel the need to share that with him! So that was a good way to start the day!

From there, we took my daughter's car to Jiffy Lube, and went out to breakfast. I ordered an omelet, which comes with hashbrowns and toast. Passed on the hash browns, ate only half the toast, no butter!

From there, I drove up to Staten Island to pick darling daughter up, so that she could go to the orthodontist. Braces come off next month! Yes and my son will be getting his on! yay.

I came home and made the most delicious chicken vegetable soup. I had roasted a chicken last night...stripped the bones today, used them for stock...made gravy for the chicken, froze most of that for a later day and used the rest for the soup. So good!

Tonight I went to a Chinese Auction. I was having second thoughts this afternoon, thinking, "what the heck do I need to go for?" I'm dying to finish the Patricia Cornwell book I've been reading. But I had the tickets, so I went. I should have trusted my instincts for a change. As they droned on and on and on...I kep visualizing my couch, thinking, "This too shall pass...eventually.'

First of all, I HATE crowds. HATE them, I tell you! Especially crowds of yappy, rude women. Plus the fact that I won ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! The big mega prize was a trip for four to Disney World, so I figured I had that in the bag, since it seemed like everyone in the place but me had won something. The thing seemed to last FOREVER...when they finally got around to calling the numbers for the grand prize, I hear, "5," (got it!) "0", (got it!) "0", (got it!) "1." (Got it! Holy $hit, I'm gonna win!!) "6," (YES!!!} "6!"

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
:deleted:

My number was 500161....I missed it by 5 lousy numbers...

What a LOSER!

Okay...I'm falling asleep at the keyboard...I'll see you all tomorrow !

I'm at work today, but the computer seems ok for the most part, so I thought I'd stop by for a visit. We found out what was wrong with it yesterday... seems that one of our third shift employees was downloading porn and gave us a virus. What a genius. We don't all have immediate internet access from our consoles, we just have our own monitor and cpu and it's all basically just the answering service program. It we want to cruise the web, we come over the the manager's terminal and get online from there, which is why we share. It was really stupid on her part though because she should have known better to download anything on not only a work computer, but one that is checked every single day by the shift supervisors. Duh.

I feel like death today. My throat is all tickly, I'm stuffed up, I can't stop coughing and my head feels like it weighs 100 lbs. On top of that, I hurt just about all day yesterday. I can't really describe the pain, because no one understands. First of all, I have fibroids and if anyone has ever had those, you know the pain associated with them. It's like an internal pain. I kind of liken it to maybe someone squeezing your intestines. Anyways...... I would feel this throbbing, mind numbing, take your breath away....pain and pressure in my.....
well, let's just say private areas for lack of a better word and the pain was so intense I literally couldn't move. So I tried to go to the bathroom and it took me several tries before I could even make it to my feet. All day long there was just this dull lingering ache in my lower stomach and other areas and from time to time, it would intensify to the point I couldn't move. I know something is wrong somewhere. I'm not a hypochondriac and I don't run to the Dr. everytime I sneeze, to be honest.... I avoid them at all cost, but this really scares me. I know something is wrong somewhere but I'm too scared to go to the Dr. and find out. I just keep hoping it will pass.

Beyond that, food really wasn't all that bad yesterday... I didn't really feel like eating much of anything, so I didn't. I have a good friend whose Dr. put her on a low carbohydrate diet. It's not as strict as Adkins and it a little more liberal even than South Beach, but she has done really well on it and she emailed me all the specifics of it, so I'm going to try to incorporate that into my life as well as WW. I just feel like I'm standing at a crossroads right now and I have to make the right decision that will impact my life in a positive way.

Ok ladies.... I'm going to head out of here for now and stop hogging the work computer. Hope you all have a terrific weekend and I'll stop by later tonight or in the morning, ok?

Love you.

Hello All!

Tina, I agree, come here and give or come here and take what you need. Because you are posting and writing out your feelings, that is so healthy!!! and the "good food", will follow, I promise!! I am so proud of you for hanging in and hanging on!! I love you and I love your posts...sometimes it takes a good one like your last one to get the rest of us thinking, and talking. I spent so many years in silence, stuffing feelings, emotions, and ideas down with food because I felt so unworthy. Now (at times) it is difficult for me to articulate feelings, but I am finding my voice...and my suggestion (lovingly of course), is to keep using yours!!! your kids do deserve to have their mom around, and your hubby deserves to have his wonderful wife, but most importantly, you desderve to live a healthy and fit body, and mind and spirit, come here and say whatever you need to say, one or all of us may need to here it!!! and you are right we are all MORE ALIKE THAN WE ARE DIFFERENT, EACH OF US BRING SOMETHING UNIQUE TO THIS FORUM, AND YOU ARE MOST CERTAINLY AND INTEGRAL PART OF THAT!!! I LOVE YOU!!

Congrats to all of the "losers", I am so proud of you all. as for not posting, I am still working on the bathroom remodeling project, when I am not working, I am in there, have to get it done soon, so can get a heat source in there, cant really do with all the heat fumes, and the flammable stuff in the stripper etc..so I will be reading and try to keep up, if you dont see me, you will know I am up to my neck in dry wall mud!

later chickies

Tina (HUgs)

I have a lovely bathroom story for you guys. Try not to laugh too hard. Of course you know the designs of bathroom stalls are hideous. So I'm in this restroom at K-mart. Well, the toilet in this stall for some reason is really tall and of course, I have really short legs. Well, the toilet paper holder is right on top of my leg, so I can barely move anyways. So, I'm trying to wipe..... yeah, I said wipe, we all do it don't we? Anyhow, when you're overweight, (and I'm sure you know this)your stomach tends to get in the way. So.... I'm trying to wipe, stomach is in the way, I'm on my tiptoes because the seat is too high and I start falling forward!!! Needless to say, my hand gets stuck between my legs and I can't catch myself with one hand, so I fall frontwards off the toilet, bang my head on the stall door and end up wedged in front of the toilet. It was not a pretty site. I did manage to get myself up without making too big of a mess, but I scared the heck out of the elderly lady beside me. I'm sure she had to wonder just what the heck I was doing in that stall.

This truly is a give and take venue...



...come here and say whatever you need to say, one or all of us may need to hear it!!!

I didn't really feel like eating much of anything, so I didn't.

Bravo for improved health because that's what we need to focus on not the scale.

This thread is a give AND take, sometimes you GIVE, and sometimes you TAKE!

Weekends are hard, but I am going to try to at least pay attention to what I eat.

You haven't failed or you wouldn't keep trying....

I'm not giving up. Giving up is NOT an option.

Live Well & Keep On Keeping On!

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