for all your lovely birthday wishes and notes of support. You truly have no idea how much they meant to me.

I meant to stop in last night after I got back home, but things went a little late and I just honestly fell asleep. I didn't really mean to, it just kinda happened.

I took the day off (vacation) and dh took half a day so we could spend the day together....

[SIDE NOTE HERE]

Dh now has a second job and most of his weekends are tied up now. He is a juvenile correction officer and he's gonna get those whippersnappers into shape! To be honest though....if anything, he will probably be their saving grace. He's already complaining that they don't get enough to eat.

[SIDE NOTE COMPLETED]

Now, back to what I was saying..... he took half a day so we could spend the day together. We met up in town and went to J. Alexanders for lunch/dinner. I'm not really sure what to call it seeing as it was around 3:00 by the time we got there. It is my favorite restaurant and I always order the same thing.....the chicken salad plate. Like I told 2cute on the phone yesterday, it cracks people up because they serve prime rib, steaks, shrimp, ribs....you name it, and I get chicken salad? But it is SO good. They take bread and I'm not sure what type, it's like italian bread and it's puffed and thick. The sandwich is open face..... on one piece of bread, it has a type of dressing and baked cheese, (almost a french flavor, but I'm not exactly sure what it is) the other side has the same dressing, baked cheese, a bed of lettuce and a good size serving of the chicken salad. Now, this is not your everyday chicken salad. It has huge hunks of chicken breast, along with celery, red onion, raisins, pecans and mayo. It is to die for. I do not eat it like a sandwich, I just eat it open. Served with it is wild rice with orzo.....but it's served cold. It has the best flavor to it and I'm not really sure what they do to it. The rice is perfectly cooked, but then it looks like it's been mixed with some type of oil along with red onions, corn, raisins, celery, and diced tomatoes. I absolutely love this meal and can't force myself to order anything else. I hadn't eaten all day so I was pretty hungry and I got myself a piece of carrot cake for dessert. I figured it would be better to just have the one piece than to have a whole cake at home, right? The carrot cake is amazing too. First of all, it's huge..... I usually share. It comes to your table warm full of carrots and nuts and it is covered with cream cheese frosting that is running down into a pool around your plate.

YUM.

Anyways..... now that I've typed a paragraph just about dinner, I'll go on. After that, we went to Walmart, because you know...you just HAVE to go to Walmart! We went ahead and put some Christmas things in the lay away, bought some groceries and things like that. No big deal.

After we got home, dh gave me my birthday presents. He bought me a Nascar DVD covering the entire 2002 season, outlining Tony's quest for the Championship. It's awesome and he knew I've been wanting it for awhile. He also got me an (don't you dare laugh) Elvis two disk cd that has 20 Christmas classics and 20 spiritual songs. I love Elvis!!

Then of course, he insisted he give me my real present, which consisted of a big n tasty. He was very romantic and sweet and did the candle thing.... and well, you know.

At which point, after all the "celebrating".... I was exhausted and fell promptly asleep.

I was gonna get on here earlier today, but we have been having some major computer problems at work and we had someone working on it today and then I had company right after I got home, so I have been pretty busy.

I got lots of Tony stuff for my birthday which is always awesome. My Mom got me a Tony action figure... (so cool) and actually gave me some decent looking clothes, although she spoiled the whole thing by saying, "I hope these will fit because I bought them when you were still losing weight."

Don't you ever wish we had a smiley giving someone the finger? I think that one would have been totally appropriate for that last paragraph.

My other friend got me a Tony doll..... kinda like a barbie. It is totally awesome. She teased me and said I could even take him to bed with me. Hmmm..... Very intriguing, but I don't think dh would go for it. I also got the coolest thing from another friend and I just know I'm not going to be able to explain it right. It's a framed picture of Tony.....but it's not an actual picture. It's a carving. They bought it at a craft show and it's Tony's likeness carved into a piece of wood, in his firesuit and everything and then it's laid on top of a black peice of velvet so the carving really stands out and then of course, it's framed. It is amazing. The next time I see him, I am for sure to have him sign it.

All in all....it was a very nice day, although I think the highlight was when my 2cute called me. It's always so nice to hear her voice.

Yes, that's right maam. YOU rated above the big n tasty!

Well..... almost.

Well, I have a lot more to say, but I am still really tired and dh keeps hollering from behind me, "A man can't get any sleep with all that clicking!"

He'll think "clicking" when I jump off this computer and click him right in the head with a shoe!

Take care my sweeties and I will see you tomorrow.

I promise.

Hey ladies! I've been reading all your posts. Sorry I haven't posted anything lately. I'm really off the wagon and deperately need to get back on. It's like I get all psyched up about it and then after a few days, I screw up and trash it. Like I want to lose the weight, but I don't want to have to do the work to get to that point. I hate that feeling. I want to be healthy and know it's not going to happen overnight. So I am going to use this weekend to come up with a plan that works for me. I don't want to be this heavy ever again. I'm afraid to get back on the scale, but I will come Monday morning and go down from there. I need you all to keep me accountable once I lay out my gameplan. Ok?
Tina- Happy belated Birthday! Glad to hear you had a great time. I did the Walmart layaway tonight.
Barb and Kat- that was some wind we had today and it's still whipping. It's freezing! Luckily we didn't lose power, but it did go out for a minute while I was in Walmart.
To everyone else- hello and sorry I'm not replying to everyone, but I need to get to bed.
To the other MIA's- come back and join us. We miss you!
Steph

Hey everyone

I'm almost there! Day 13 is near enough it's end to call it a success! That odd thinking stayed with me all day, and there were plenty of temptations. My 7 year old waving salt and vinegar potato chips beneath my nose about did me in. I kept thinking how just one wouldn't be that bad, but you know that slippery slope! Just one mentality won't help me to my goal. I remember thinking when I've heard others say similar things that you are all being too harsh, relax it up a little and remember how to live. Well, there are times to live it up and there are times to get down to work. Chicks, I'm down to work right now, and I'm wanting to stay that way. Next week the food plan loosens up a lot, and you can bet I'll have that "just one" then!

Ok, had to take a break and get the girls off to bed. Had a late meeting tonight, so wanted to spend some extra time with them. They were both being so cute.

Of course, the break gave me just enough time to wind down and I'm about to pass out at the keyboard. I have to be up early and over at a friend's house making meringue shells for a dinner we are doing early December. She is heading out of town next week and will be gone until the day of the party, so we are trying to prepare everything we can right now. It should be fun, but I won't be able to get in here to post in the morning.

Grrr... does it make you mad when you really want to do replies and just can't keep your eyes open any longer?!

Andria

Evening Gals,

Cant stay, just peeped in on you, and read the posts, saying goodnight is all, will catch up in the am....nighty night!!!

Tina, GLAD YOU ARE BACK WITH US!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!! BEYOND MEASURE AND UNCONDITIONALLY, JUST STAY, I LOVE READING YOUR POSTS, AND BESIDES WHO WOULD UPDATE US ON THAT , YUMMY, DELICIOUS HUNKY TONY????

Cool! While I was writing my post there were 4 new ones! Then I blinked and Pam had one posted too.

Love when that happens. Now I'm really going to go to bed...

Andria

Hi guys !!! It is nearly midnight... but I wanted to touch base.
The closing went well. Took longer than expected but no real problems. I am soooo glad to have that off my back. It is a young couple with two small children who bought it. I hope they enjoy it as much as we did raising our kids there. It has a one acre backyard full of trees.... apples, pears, pecans to name a few. We had 22 trees total. I will miss it on one hand... and glad to be rid of it on the other hand. LOL

I REALLY enjoyed reading all the posts this evening... I wish I had time to reply to all of them. I was really proud to know I rated right up there with a "big n tasty". It was REALLY good to see some old faces back.
I will post more tomorrow. Have a great Friday !!!!

Hi everyone,

Hope you all made it through the wind ok I didn't have a power problem until this morning. I was treated to a strobe light shower ... light on, light off, light on, light off.

Tina I'm getting hungry just thinking about that Chicken salad you had!! it sounds so good!

Well day three on the fast food wagon, I fell off the regular pop one, but will be back on tomorrow. I was really craving a TacoBell Chicken Quasadia (spelling?) on the way home. I drive right by one. And the traffic is stop and go... so easy to pull in. But I didn't stop... the semi truck that was stopped in front of the TacoBell driveway helped, I couldn't get over into that lane

Though right now as I type this I'm watching the food network and their thanksgiving shows are on. The combination of listening to that and the chicken salad description ... oh the late night cravings this causes!!! I guess this will be the next thing I will need to tackle.

To answer a couple of questions... I live just west of Detroit in one of it's suburbs. And my friends wedding is Jan 2005, so I have one year

I have a couple questions... what is the #/#/# thing after your names? and why do we stop a thread and start a new one after a couple of days?

For Friday wish me luck ... It's my first grocery trip since commiting to lose weight again. But I've been promising my Dad that I would cook some of his favorites for him this weekend. Dad's the cook of the family but he says I make these better than he does-I think it's just an excuse (Just if your curious-they are: Cajun Red Beans-for red beans n rice, Peanut Butter cookies, French Onion soup, and White chocolate chip cookies) So I'll try to be really strong and make sure ALL the cookies get there and stay there

Sorry it's such a long post but thanks for reading!! Well got to go and get to bed. As you all can tell from the times of my posts... I'm a night owl.

Forgot to tell you...I had WI Wednesday (not Wisconsin) and I lost 5 lbs. Now if I could just do that EVERY week huh?

Sun's out. Winds still blowing but no where near as bad as it was yesterday. Lost power several times and the wosrt was 5 min into Survivor. It came back on during Tribal Counsel so at least I know what happened.

Food wasn't too bad yesterday. Today I'm shooting for perfection!!!

Gotta get to work,

HELP
I was getting the ingredients for the Chai Tea and can't find cardamom!!!! I drove all over last night and no one around here carries it.

Syn, what does cardamom taste like - will I ruin the tea without it?

Good morning ladies!

No time for replies. I need to get my butt ready for work.

Michelle.

Survivor was good but predictable about who got voted out. Of course, not the one person who is obnoxious. Although lately, he's been rather quiet. I think its all in the editing to get you to dislike some of them.

Okay, I'm off to pay a few bills. I did my morning handweight, situp, etc. stuff. Things i can do while half asleep. At lunch, I plan to walk a mile. After work, I'll do 20 minutes on the airdyne and then walk the dog. Now that I've written it, hopefully, I won't forget!

Have a great day!

Good Morning!
Have any of you Northeast gals blown away yet??? Right after I posted last night our cable went out (at least the power stayed on). Only problem is that we have a cable modem and I usually work at home on Fridays. So, no cable this morning meant driving into work. Oh well, at least it's Friday!!!

Friday means weigh in day for me - 1 pound gone this week. Nothing stellar, but it's progress!

Michelle - WooHoo!!!! 5 pounds! Way to go!!!


Tina - I'm happy to hear that you had a nice birthday!! And finished it off with a bang! (literally)

Lucky - Was the Chai tea back a few threads with all the jar ideas? I have been meaning to go back and print those off.

No time for other replies right now, I've gotta get some work done!
to all!

Good Morning from cloudy and cool Des Moines, IA..... Sure am glad that the windy days are over for now anyway...and hope everyone who was affected by the strong gales has their power back on and life is back to normal..

I am going to WI again today and have my fingers crossed that I have at least maintained if not lost a pound or two.. I am so frustrated with the scales that I refuse to jump on the dang thing!

I don't have time to respond to all but wanted to let you know I have read the posts and am thinking of you all.

As far as the Cardomom spice:

http://www.iisr.org/spices/cardamom.htm

It definitely adds the aroma and exotic flavor to this recipe in my opinion.

You should be able to get this spice at any larger grocery store or Asian/Indian market. Penzeys Spices has an online catalog I think and Penzeys is an excellent place to purchase any spice from the ordinary to extraordinary. Maybe a health food store has this spice too. My daughter lives near Minneapolis and she gets me my cardomom.. Sorry I can't be more helpful.

Have a super day everyone.....wish me luck at the dreaded weigh in!

Did I say it was sunny? That's all over. At least the wind has died down. Now it's snowing like a son of a gun. There's at least 2 inches on my car. This can stop any time. It's not Winter yet .... at least according to the Almanac.

MICHELLE: Wow 5 lbs! YEAAAAAAAAA!

TINA: Missed your post til this AM. Glad you're back. Sounds like you had a lovely B'day. I agree about the "finger" smilie. Maybe we're supposed to use this one instead.

BARB: Good Luck at WI. Down is GOOD! Even an itty bitty down is a sign we are being successful.

Ok, enough looking out the window and answering posts. Gotta earn my keep here.

First off.....

Jeanine: Let me welcome you. This is a FABULOUS group of ladies and personally..... I don't know what I would do without them. We are all very diverse, yet all the same. It doesn't matter what you're going through, chances are.... one or more of us have went through it too and can sympathize. Post often..... We talk about all kinds of things, not just weight loss. Now, to answer your above questions. When you see #/#/# within our signatures, this is what it represents:

The first # is our highest/starting weight. The second # is what we currently weigh. The third # is our personal goal. It is not something you have to do, but alot of us do.

To answer your other question, usually when there get to be aproximately 30 posts, we start a new thread because we like all the posts to appear on one page. Once it hits that 30 mark, it starts rolling onto another page. I have personally went into my preferences and allow 40 posts on a page, but it just seems like we've always went to the new thread at 30, so I think it's habit more than anything.

Once again..... welcome. We are very glad to have you here with us.


Now....... I know you guys do not expect an explanation for my lack of posting here lately, but I want to tell you all the same. As I'm sure most of you know, I have fell off the wagon as of late. You know what....... I'm actually tired of using that term, so I'm not going to anymore. The fact is, I stopped caring about what I put into my body and I've pretty much been eating what I want to and not exercising or drinking water. AND.... I've been pretty depressed about it. I mean, honestly..... you can't help but feel like a failure when it seems like you can't ever commit to anything. Well, not so much commit to anything, it just seems I can't commit to myself. It doesn't seem to matter how fired up I am at the beginning.....sooner or later, I get tired of counting points, weighing and measuring and I just want to eat a damn big mac! Yes, I know I can have a big mac within my points...... but that is NOT the point. I don't want to count my frickin 13 pts. I just want to be normal and eat what I want! I just get so tired of the whole thing sometimes.

THEN...... there are the times that I look into the loving eyes of my children and have to wonder what in this world they would do without me? I have to ask myself how food could possibly be more important than they are?

Now, I know you're probably going to say, "Aww Tina, don't be rediculous.... of course food is not more important to you than your children." Well, apparently it is. I know that if I do not stop eating the way that I am, I am going to develop high blood pressure, heart disease and perhaps diabetes. All of these things will shorten my life, which means my children could quite possibly grow up without their mama.

Yet, even that thought doesn't seem to be enough to make me stop.

Yeah, I know I'm being kinda morbid now, but I have to..... to get me to where I need to be. It just seems so hopeless sometimes, you know? I just have to keep wondering and asking myself, "Why bother to start again..... when I know at some point, I'm just going to quit again?" Yes, I know that is "stinkin thinkin" but that is the only type of thinking I seem to be capable of lately.

Now, being in this frame of mind...... how do I possibly come here and offer support? How can I possibly come here and root you on when I can't even pick myself up off the floor? You guys deserve better than that. And yes.... I know it sounds selfish, but that's the way I feel.

I'm know I should probably put my own needs aside and just get in here and post and congratulate those of you that are kicking those pounds to the curb and support those that need it. But I've always believed that you guys deserve nothing but my best and I haven't exactly been at my best lately, so what to do? Come here and moan and groan and expect you to lift me up or do I pull myself up out of the gutter?

I post on another board and there is an individual that posts and everything that comes out of her mouth is negative. She never congratulates others on their successes, she never offers support or advice. It seems like the only time she ever even posts is if someone in this world is doing something wrong to her or if she needs support. I do NOT want to be one of these people. I like to be a giver and not a taker. Sure, we all have to take from time to time.....but I am a much better giver.

So..... I just thought it was better, seeing as I didn't feel I had much to offer, that I just stay away. It wasn't that I didn't care about you guys.... that would be impossible to me. It's just that I care SO much about you that I don't want to come here and spew the nastiness that has been my life lately.

Don't get me wrong...... everything else in my life is fabulous. It's just the weight loss issue, as usual. I know in my head and my heart what I have to do... it's just a matter of doing it. It's just a matter of hearing that *click* and making a change. It seems like everyday I have the courage to start again and before the night is out, I've lost it. Everytime I say......"This time.... I'm going to do it." This time never lasts very long and it makes me feel like such a fraud and a loser that I can't stay dedicated to something this important.

Awww crap. Do I even need to tell any of you this? Do you not already know what I'm talking about because you've been through it 100 times yourselves?

I'm not giving up. Giving up is NOT an option.

I just need something to tie it all together.

BUT WHAT?!!!