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Old 10-09-2019, 03:26 AM   #1  
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Default Boring Thread. Starting over.

I remember the last time I was on here reading the threads. I had dropped from 343 (that number is stuck in my head because its the highest I've even been) to roughly 280. I was so proud of myself, and with good reason. I had done something incredible, something I thought I was hopeless. I had gotten under 300 pounds. I remember reading about all the people who were starting their journey over for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th time and in my head I was like ha. That will never be me. I will won't stop losing weight. I will keep dropping until i'm under 200lbs. Then I dropped down to 275 and stayed there. I was at 275 for at least 2 months. Then Thanksgiving came and I was whatever. If eating healthy all the time gets me nowhere, then one day isn't going to hurt. Then Christmas parties, and New Years drinking. I slowing stopped caring because I felt like nothing was working and why should I eat salad if I wasn't getting anything out of it. I stopped tracking my calories, I stopped forcing myself to do that lap around the trail. I basically reverted back to my old self. Now its almost 2 years later and I'm 330 pounds again. I'm back to breathing heavy just walking up and down my stairs. I'm back to wobbling when I wake up because my feet/legs hurt. I'm back to the constant breathing issues that my asthma gives me. Asthma that didn't bother me when I was 280. All of those pretty size 22 clothes that I bought no longer fit. I'm back to barely fitting size 28, having to repurchase items that I had donated just a year ago. I'm back to dreading picking my daughter up from preschool because the halls are so small and I feel like I'm always in someways way.


Two things stick out in my head. One is a statement that my old boss said to me years ago. She said we deserve what we accept. This runs through my head all the time now. I deserve to be this big because I just accepted the fact that I plateaued. Instead of fighting for what I wanted I just accepted it. The second phrase is I wish I was the size I was the first time I thought I was fat. I honestly have no idea where I heard it but I sometimes think about it. I really do wish i was that size. That size was only a 16. That is a perfectly acceptable size in todays world. My size 28 is not. At size 16 I could sit in a chair and not worry that it will break. I could go to friends house and not worry about sitting on a couch or chair and embarrassing my self. I could go to a movie and spill over to the seat next to me. I could ride a train and not have someone groan because they had to sit next to me.


I'm sorry this got a bit ramble-y. I guess I'm just hear to say Hi, I'm Ruby. I'm 330 pounds and I'm starting my weight loss journey for the second time.
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Old 10-09-2019, 07:58 AM   #2  
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Welcome back, Ruby! You know you can do this. You only have to succeed for today. Then yo!I do it again tomorrow. Good luck to you.
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Old 10-09-2019, 07:18 PM   #3  
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Hi Ruby,
You sound like a thoughtful and articulate person. I too wish I was the size I was the first time I thought I was fat. I look at my pictures now in high school (when I thought I was fat) and I wasn't fat at all. I looked great! Why didn't I know that?

Anyway, it's great having you back. I think the main thing is just to keep going. One thing that has helped me this time is limited my "eating window" to 8 hours or less. That means I eat nothing for at least 16 hours, and just eat within the 8 hour window. I just tell myself I can have whatever I want "tomorrow" and it seems to really help.
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Old 10-10-2019, 01:18 PM   #4  
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Thats actually what Im doing! I won't eat anything all day then only eat dinner. I know it sounds backwards but I work 3rd shift so it works for me.
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Old 10-15-2019, 12:52 PM   #5  
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Hi Ruby,

I'm restarting my weight loss as well.
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