Hello my lovely friends,
I am so sorry to have been absent from the forum for a few days. Following on from the migraine that lasted a full 3 days I have an absolutely rotten sneezy cold. I am congratulating myself somewhat as I usually by-pass the cold and go straight to a chest infection so I am hoping that this is a sign my chest is more resilient.That said I am taking it easy for a few days to avoid nasty complications!
I am not sure whether Mothering Sunday is a big thing in the US but it is special here. I drove for an hour to hear my amazing son-in-law preach and see my beautiful daughter....but sneezed every couple of miles which is somewhat disconcerting when you are on a Motorway!
My Sam made me breakfast in bed this morning before we went which a wonderful treat too!
Will be back in a day or two when my eyes have stopped streaming and my nose has stopped running....mmm lovely!... and I can read everybody's posts a bit better!!
Take care my lovelies,
Donna
Note to self: Turn off the alarm system before opening the door to let Toby out for his morning romp. Otherwise, the remaining sleepiness that you were so pleasantly coming out of will be gone and you will be jilted awake in a most unpleasant manner.
Fi – You got me laughing here over whether or not I noticed you can be a bulldog once you get your teeth into something. We have many, many similar personality traits that we share (lucky us!), and that's one of them. I'll put your mind at rest, as I did find the bar and I made the switch. That's what the ta-da was for (what, you can't interpret my ta-das?)! The thought about your being on a mobile device was because the first option on my PC is mobile. So we're square.......or at least I'd settle for being less round. As for a book – we could take a lot of our posts from here, compile them and have a pretty good start on a book. Hope you were able to get your collage done and that the visit with Bob's mother wasn't too disheartening. And Bob bought you a family-size pack of Oreos???? There's got to be a story there! Oh yeah – I do think that you're blaming the kids for being less intelligent. Actually, I think it's in many cases it's the parents who simply refuse to be parents and want to be friends with their kids. I know there are going to be times where a child will make an unexpected noise or interrupt, but a parent who allows it to continue is the problem.
Calda – I can't tell from your posts what your degree was in. Anyway, it sounds as though you're doing something with farm management. Could you clarify the players in your work life. You refer to a she who takes all of the credit at the shows, but refer to a he as your boss. Does the she work for the he? Is the he the farm owner? I'm confused. In terms of the lady who gets all of the raves. Don't know if this helps, but she has obviously built up a reputation for being great at what she does. I imagine that part of her job is to make sure that she hires people who are good at their jobs. Now a good manager would say thank you, but I couldn't get it done it without Calda's help. But there are some people who are more than willing to take all of the credit for something that was a team effort. As for the course, if you paid for it after getting his approval, then just tell him that you're going. If you signed up for it and then asked for the time to take it, well he has every right to say no. Hope the situation improves for you, both at work and with your family.
Donna – Don't you just hate an icky cold. Mother's Sunday sounds like our Mother's Day which we celebrate in May. And, yes, it is a special day. It sounds like you had a wonderful day with your family and hope that cold goes away and stays out of your chest.
I went into town yesterday and hit Costco, the bank, and the grocery store and was home by 11:30. I don't know why when I'm retired that I waited to go until Saturday, but since I was so early it wasn't bad. I finished taking my cookie decorating course – yes, not something a sane person would take when trying to lose weight – and now I'm eager to try out the techniques. I'm doing cookies for the Easter baskets for the boys – both big and small – and some for a friend's birthday that is in early April. The challenge will be not eating them!
The weight loss efforts are beginning to show results. I've lost 6 pounds this week and in another 2 pounds I'll be back down to my signature weight. With the Alaska trip looming this summer, I definitely want to be much more mobile and need to get the weight off to do so. Time to get it in gear. I want to get the grass cut before it starts raining again, Toby needs a bath (fortunately, so do I), and there's a bunch of other little things that need attention. Hope everyone has a great day.
Oopps -- Just looked out the window, and the rain has started so I won't be able to cut the grass. What a shame. I may have to binge watch the 4th season of House of Cards.
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
2 AM and totally exhausted—I just finished creating a collage and writing its description: "muy interesante". As usual, click on the pic for a larger view. And check out the links underneath! I hope y'all enjoy it. =smile=
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
It's morning, happy cats in the sun on the back of the futon, just did some online shopping—books on color ('can't read enough about color!), also a pair of bright orange tie-dye leggings ('love orange, but it doesn't look good next to my skin, so I'll wear one of my many oversized black T-shirts over these leggings: that'll be perfect), and picked up a big pottery coffee mug to replace my last one, sadly broken, on Etsy (half purple, half very dark blue, with narrow "starry" zone in between the 2 colors, which run vertically—cool design!).
So you'd think I'd be in a good mood... but I'm not. Perhaps it's because I didn't sleep well last night—too worked up over the Mexico collage (link in my last posting), the artistry of which I'm unsure about. And still worn out by the exasperating, time-consuming process of writing the darn description-plus-links. Blogspot on iPad is buggy, so I kept losing all my work, despite repeatedly saving it. I can't type collage descriptions on my Linux laptop because its "c" key has died, and I haven't figured out yet how to remap the keyboard. =sigh=
Yesterday we visited Bob's mom, who was moved some months ago by his sister to a different "memory care" facility (which I'm starting to believe is just a newfangled name for a pricey nursing home), which is much more competent at handling her brittle diabetes. Bob has been freaked out for months about the prospect of going to see her, since her Alzheimer's has been getting steadily worse, so I played the role of saying, "Let's go see her this weekend, together"—which he appreciated a lot. It's strange: every Alzheimer's patient is different, of course, and Bob's mom is blessed at least in that her personality hasn't changed. She's always been a mixture of sweetness, anxiety, anger, perfectionism, plus admirable energy, toughness, pagan spirituality, & politics (e.g., she ran on a Green Party ticket for a state office). She went to psychology grad school after her kids grew up, got her PhD at 51, then worked for years in various mental health venues. (Her adolescent therapy patients adored her.) She survived a terrible gasoline burn after being rear-ended, followed by a painful divorce. Finally she retired, and with her female lover, found a wonderful patch of near-wilderness in south-central Pennsylvania.
She lived year-round at "the farm" (because it used to be a dairy farm) in an ecologically correct fashion (planting & harvesting a huge vegetable garden every year, reforesting pastures, organizing volunteer work to clean out a dump, observing and writing about wildlife for a local paper, you name it). She stayed up there (and we visited a lot), even after her lover left her, until finally she was too frail for the snowy winters and living alone, and moved back to this area. She and Bob's father became close friends and lovers once again. She wrote a self-published memoir—an impressive and fascinating book, in part because of how open she is about a lifelong variety of sexual liaisons, some of them rather shocking (even to me!).
She's in her 90s now, is in good physical health except for the diabetes, but unfortunately got Alzheimer's—in the slow, slow way that very bright people do, because for a long time they can hide their mental deficits. But yesterday... =sigh= ...she didn't recognize us, couldn't understand who we were or remember our names after we repeated them to her several times (and Bob is her much-beloved youngest and her only son!), didn't remember the farm, didn't remember (in fact denied) having gone to California last year to scatter her eldest daughter's ashes, and basically could not hold a conversation.at all.
She was quite pleasant and socially appropriate, viewing us as "dear friends" and holding hands with us, but she couldn't process hardly anything we said and spent the hour-long visit babbling in the very vaguest of terms about her current existence. She doesn't seem to have even old memories, argued with us about whether spring follows winter, couldn't understand many, many simple words.... you get the picture. She's both there (in spirit) and not there at all (in mind). I've seen much worse cases, but obviously her current state is heartbreaking.
At least she's no longer fiercely fighting the dementia, as she was for a few recent years—a losing battle that was painful to watch. She actually seems content.... but gone. So, so gone.
Bob said practically nothing about her on the drive home. I know he's very distressed, but he's the sort of person who hides painful emotions, or rather, hides from them. I mentioned the absence from her room of the framed collage of a white owl wearing hiking boots—since her hair turned all white by age 50, "White Owl" was her pagan name for many years, and she hiked most of the Appalachian Trail when she was 64-66, all by herself—that Grace (her great-granddaughter) and I made for her 90th birthday. That collage had pride of place over her bed in the previous facility. I don't understand why it's not in the current place: it's framed with glass, but there's more than one spot where it could be hung up high, posing no danger. Bob snapped at me for bringing it up... so I fell silent, too.
Now what? Will he begin to mourn her loss, or just shut down and play games on his computer? Or both, perhaps... it's way past noon now, and he's not even out of bed yet.
I'm sorry. I guess I don't feel well enough, emotionally, to write personals today... A strong, remarkable, loveable, at times infuriating, woman—whose beautiful wooded valley, just 3 hours away, we will inherit—is gone now... even though her body lives on...
I know Spring is out there somewhere as the fruit trees are all blooming, the grass is growing like crazy, and the calendar says so. But where is the sun?
Fi -- Great collage. I learned more about Mexico from your collage than I probably ever knew before. Hope you get some rest today.
Where is everyone else -- hope everyone is just busy but ok.
Toby got his bath yesterday and then promptly ran outside and rolled in the grass.......and got dirty since it's rained for the last 3 months. I was able to take the wet towel and get it off, but keeping that big galoot clean and groomed is a lot of work! Watched the last episode of Downton Abbey -- I will miss that show.
Good news on the diet front -- lost 6 pounds this week. I know it's going to slow down, but I feel hopeful that I've finally found both an eating approach I can live with as well as the attitude needed to stick with it. I'm on day 11 of staying on plan.
Time for breakfast, the gym, a little vacuuming, and then I'm going to start on the cookie making and decorating. Have a great day.
Sam, I hope you had a relaxing weekend and I hope your weigh-in yesterday was good news.
Emily, you look amazing. 130 lbs. since June - that is fantastic.
Donna, I hope that col stays out of your chest and that you start to feel better soon.
Fi, I loved your latest collage. I am so sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. Alzheimer's is such a terrible disease. My mother-in-law also had Alzheimer's, and it was so sad to watch her decline mentally. She lived with us for awhile until her youngest daughter insisted she move in with her and took over her care.
Betsy, congratulations on the 6 lb. loss and staying on plan for 11 days. It does sound like you have found what works. It looks like there is an x-box in your future.
DH and I both have colds. Fortunately, mine doesn't seem to have moved to my chest yet and I'm hoping it doesn't. I'm coughing and am somewhat congested, but mostly I just have no energy. DH is coughing more and losing his voice. We're a wonderful pair today.
Not much else going on. I'm hoping to spend some time outside in the next couple days when temps here are supposed to be in the sixties. Looking forward to some fresh, warm air and sunshine.
Go figure have a decent work day and come home and get put in a foul mood. DH promised me on Sunday that he'd go on a walk with me after work. My head is pounding like crazy, I almost thought I was going to vomit while I was finishing up my work before I left and I get home and he's still sleeping because he didn't get hardly any sleep last night. I told him this morning to get his nap in early so we could go. I get home, and I get told well I'm not going right this second. I said fine guess I'm going alone because in an hour it'll be dark. I would stay in and just work out but I don't think my stomach can handle jumping around to a Turbo video so I'm going to go alone and hope that I'm back before it's too dark.
Didn't get on the scale on Sunday. I don't know why, I just said screw it. I did so well this week except for Sunday. I didn't bother weighing in although I could have had a loss up to that point. Then the rest of the day it was down hill. I had a good breakfast, on plan, no problems. Then DH took his sweet time getting ready for us to go uptown that it was lunch before we left and there was nothing here I could have eaten so we went out. I couldn't think of anything and he wanted Steak N Shake. I knew it was going to be bad for me, and I tried to get something ok on the menu but everything was going to be terrible so I just went ahead and got the 3 mini burgers and fries. I figured if I was going to get a burger that probably would have been the best choice. Then we move on, have dinner no problem. That was on plan. I got japanese but I usually get the chicken grilled with nothing on it and veggies only. I asked for no teriyaki and no soy. I get home, and they cooked it in soy. I had to choke it down because of how salty it was. I was irritated but I moved on. Then I got hungry later that night and made the bad decision to make a PB & Banana tortilla wrap. I haven't eaten a banana in so long and it was so good but I know it was all bad bad bad!! I got on the scale this morning and I was up wayyyy up. 212. something. To have that big of a jump from when I weighed myself in mid week and I was slightly down maybe it's just excess water. I don't know, but all I know is I have got to stop doing this to myself.
Hi everyone! Just thought I would check in. I am feeling super motivated and much better today. I had my weigh in yesterday and I have lost 9kg in 7 weeks! So happy, clothes are looser, I am stronger and fitter than I have ever been and I am pretty excited about being a bit of a role model for some of my family members who are refusing to try to take care of themselves.
To clarify a couple of things from my previous post: I work in an educational field. My boss is a male, and the lady I work with does the same job, for the same money as me. Morale at work is at an all time low. Most staff feel like they are disregarded by our very disinterested boss, except for the woman I work with. Nobody is really happy? I guess she has the reputation that she has, because she has been doing an amazing job for years, and has earned her reputation, but myself and a few other workers don't feel like we rate with our boss. It makes it a bit hard to go in and be passionate about your work, when you don't feel appreciated? I don't know, hopefully it improves.
Thanks again to everyone who has offered suggestions and support. I am under an enormous amount of stress at work, and I am struggling to cope. I have always had anxiety issues, and lately they have been really bad. Things seem to spiral out of control. The only thing I feel really in control of is my health, as I am being told exactly what to do and when to do it, there is no guess work, it is just black and white there in front of me. My family issue has settled. I went and spoke to my parents a couple of days ago and told them exactly what is going on and apologised for taking it out on them. They understood and apologised for not being good listeners. I really just needed a good chat and a cry with my mother. How self indulgent is that?!
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
There were thick shadows and fiery outbursts in our house yesterday. This morning, too. The poor cats don't know what the heck is going on: they've both been beside themselves with trying to make us feel better. Bob and I are about equally busted up over his mom. My legs have been in terrible shape—just awful. And Bob has even been ragging on me for my involuntary squawks of pain.
Everything seems dark—yet I'm not depressed. I know what my depression feels like, and this isn't it. I feel realistic. My Mexico collage is a massive failure...not that it matters. More importantly, I'm a massive failure myself, in my rehab. I'm not looking forward to seeing Mike, to confessing that I haven't done much chi work at all, for over four days. The new instructions he gave me on Thursday, I didn't do once.
Now I need to stop writing and take a shower—which will be painful. =sigh=
Sorry to be a wet blanket. I hope everyone is well, or at least moving in that direction.
I'm not even bothering with the weather report. It's the same as every other day from October through April with an occasional sunny day thrown in just to remind us that it will eventually stop raining.
Cindy – Hope you and DH get over those colds quickly. How can something that is so common and occurs so frequently still not have a good fix? OK, I know the why and the science behind the why, but colds just bring out the less attractive parts of my personality. If you get some of that warm, sunny weather, please share it with us.
Sam – Oh yes, the challenge of having a work/life balance. Personally, I always thought that work/life balance was somewhat an oxymoron! Sorry that DH is off in whatever world Dhes reside in, and a screw up on a takeout order just adds to the irritation. And his only interest is Steak 'n Shake. Now I grew up in central Illinois where Steak 'n Shake originated, and some of my best teen memories are of cruising and stopping there (they still had curb service then!), but there is nothing on the menu that is even remotely in the on plan category. Do they even have salads of any kind? And, it probably would have been ok if you could have planned for it, but an unexpected trip is just murder. The PB and banana tortilla sounds good......although I have to admit that my first thought was to throw on some fudge sauce and marshmallow crème. Bad Betsy. Bad, bad, bad. And, yes, a whole lot of that is water weight and it will come back off. I had a slip yesterday as I started making the Easter candy (I make chocolates from scratch for the boys), and I had a piece or two or ten. Oops. These things will happen, Sam. I'm more worried about the headache and the tummy ache. Any idea what's causing those? Hope that today is a better day for you.
Calda – Great job on the weight loss. I had to do the conversion, but that's almost 20 pounds. Way to go!!!!! We may have to switch the cheerleader role from Ubee (if you're reading this, we miss you Ubee!!!!!) and me to you. Thanks for the clarification on the job. Have the lady and your boss been working together a long time? Sounds like she's older than you, and that they have a longer standing working relationship. Also, male bosses aren't known for their interpersonal skills a lot of the time. Sometimes there are really good male bosses, but a lot of the time it's a female boss who is much better at the interpersonal skills and being inclusive with all of the staff. The lady co-worker may also feel threatened by you in terms of your eagerness and willingness and just being younger. Hope things improve. Glad you had a chance to clear the air with your folks, and I totally understand wanting a good cry with your mom. Not self indulgent at all.
Fi – You are not a massive failure. OK, you've had a less than stellar week, but that doesn't mean you are a massive failure. Visiting Bob's mom was bound to be disheartening, and the fact that you hurt as much emotionally as Bob just shows that you're a loving and empathetic person. I don't know why the collage was a massive failure – I liked it. And sometimes we just need a break from doing things that hurt and where the results are far in the future. Just tell yourself what is in the past stays there and try to get back into the swing of your exercises. Sometimes there are just weeks where we're glad when they're over.
OK. Back on plan today. It's funny because normally when I go off plan, I view as a license to have a month long binge of some sort. Which, of course, leads to regaining all and usually more of what I spent the previous month losing. This time I'm just taking some of my own advice, viewing it as it happened and get over it. So, back on plan today. I have a lot more candy to make, but don't have any interest in making it. Weird!
Time for breakfast and the gym. I need to vacuum the upstairs today and then make some more candy. Hope everyone has a good day.
Hi Fi, you are not a failure at all! My mother works with dementia residents as an Occupational Therapist. Your mother in law is lucky to still have family who care about her. Your partner is probably grieving her loss already, as she is not the same person as she once was. That in itself is hard to take. I have never had a grand parent or anyone close to me develop dementia, however I can imagine the pain you and your partner feel would be similar to losing a relationship with a really close childhood friend when they become someone you don't know anymore. I know how that feels.
People deal with grief and loss in different ways, and not to gender stereotype, but men are often worse at expressing their feelings in a calm and rational way. I think the only thing you can do is simply be there for him. Encourage him to visit her, let him talk/rant/rave about how he feels, as the more he lets it out, the more he will come to accept the situation as it is. He probably feels powerless to change the situation, which can be frustrating and really sad.
I know from what you have said that exercise is painful for you, but I always feel better after a workout. Are you able to do just a small amount? It might make you feel less guilty for being inactive, and get the endorphins going? I really hope things get better for you Fi. No one will blame you for not wanting to workout this week, especially not your trainer/physio, after you have had such bad news about your mother in law. It is a really sad disease, and I see the toll it takes on my mother every day when she comes home from working with the poor souls. Love and light, and please come back to talk to us anytime you need!
Fi I'm sorry to hear about the things going on with your MIL. At the end of DH's Granny's life she started to get dementia, but she did not have Alzheimer's. She remembered us, but she didn't have a good idea on time, and some of the past and present. She talked a lot about her husband who had already passed 9 years before her. They were the loves of eachother's lives. I hope that I get the chance to be with DH as long as they had. The sad thing with her is she was a spitfire. Very witty but kind, but had no problem telling you her views about EVERYTHING lol...I'm glad I was able to meet her and DH's grandfather before they passed. His other two grandparents on his mother's side were already gone when we got together. This has been something I know that has been very drawn out with the events leading up to this with her. I'm sorry Bob is taking it so hard, but he definitely has a pretty awesome wife and despite your own troubles I know you're there for him, and even if he doesn't say it, I know he appreciates it.
Betsy You're right about the work/life balance. As much as I truly want to do my job well, be a team player (I hate that description), and be happy and put in as much effort as I can, the weekends are mine and I plan to keep it that way. There is one girl I confide in and she lets me vent whenever I need and her the same. I told her that I'll just get what I can done in the allotted time and if that isn't enough or if I get behind oh well. I never get offered help like I've said before, and it isn't fair to me to be constantly stressed when it seems like I'm the only person that cares. If it gets done it gets done. If not it'll be there tomorrow. Steak N Shake has salads but even the ones they had didn't seem like they would be on plan either so I figured if it's not going to be good for me I may as well get something I would enjoy without going crazy. Drive ins are pretty awesome though. There's one in a town about an hour away from me, although really over priced lol...and when DH and I go visit his fam in WV there's a drive in there that we will go to that you can either go through a drive through window and get it to go or they still have the curb side service. It's great. Let me tell you if there was hot fudge or marshmallow creme in the house I probably would have put it on there and toasted it in the toaster oven and make it like a dessert quesadilla LOL!!! Too bad!!! That's why we are in the place we are in lol...At least we can joke about it though!! I'm not really sure what's been going on with my tummy. I know a few weeks back DH had the neurovirus that has been making it's way around. I've had that 3 times in the past 2 years and I'm hoping it's not creeping up in me, although it always just showed up unannounced. It kind of feels like when you drink too much water too fast and it makes you a little sick to your stomach, but then I get this slight bile taste in my mouth. I haven't had that in a long time since I had my gallbladder removed at a very young age. I kinda felt like that today after work too. The rest of the time I feel fine. I'll keep an eye on it and if it's still bothering me when I go to the doctor next week I'll mention it to her.
Today was a better day. I got pretty organized at work although there is still a bit to be done when I get in tomorrow. I came home and had an apple with some PB since I was out of protein powder. I haven't eaten an apple in a long time. I generally stay away from fruit because of it's carb count but I gotta tell you I miss fruit a lot. It was the one thing that I liked that made me feel like I was cheating. I'll have berries when they're in season here but that's about it. Went on a walk today and I am proud to say I did jogging intervals the entire time!!! At one point my running app paused and I didn't realize it so it didn't track me for probably a half of a mile. What it did track was 5.29 miles in 1hr 16 mins but I think I got slightly over 6 miles in in about 1 hr 25 mins? Just a guess though. It felt good that I was able to jog!!! I set myself little spots to where I'd start jogging and stop but more often than not I was able to go a little farther than where I had planned to stop. Talk about making my day!!!
Was supposed to have "chicken bog" made with cauliflower rice today but DH miraculously had a communication problem when I said for me to set an alarm for him to wake up and make dinner. I guess he thought that meant wake up when I knew I wouldn't be home at that time. So that caused a ruckus over here. I'll be eating dinner really late tonight thanks to him so of course I'm irritated. I had a good shower and ready to relax for the night. I almost don't even care if I eat dinner or not. He's really getting on my nerves lately The married life!! LOL!!!
Anyway hope everyone else is doing well! Trying to stay positive for another good day tomorrow. Good night ladies
I haven't posted much lately, mainly because I really feel yucky. DH and I still have colds and I think we;re getting worse instead of better.
My pulmonologist's office called and they want to see me because I haven't been there since February last year. I really haven't needed to see them. My symptoms have been pretty well controlled with the meds they have me on now. Of course mow I'm wkeezy and congested so I don't want to see them (unless I get worse and need Prednisone) because I'm afraid they're going to think my meds need to be changed because right now I'm not doing so well. And honestly I don;t feel like going anywhere right now lol.
I haven't been 100% on plan either the last few days. DH and his chips. They are my weakness. I can leave the sugar alone but open a bag of chips around me and I'm done for. Usually he keeps them by his computer and they don't bother me (out of sight out of mind) but because we both aren't feeling so well we have both been spending more time on the couch together with the chips. The scale is up only a pound and a half but still I need it to be going in the opposite direction.
I'm going to go make us a pot of chicken soup now. Sorry no personals today, but I'm thinking of all of you and I'm so grateful you are all here.
Good morning. Just read that there was a huge gas explosion in Seattle. Fortunately it was in the middle of the night in a commercial section so no deaths.
Calda -- Very nice note to Fi. That's one of the things that I really like about our group. Maybe it's because we've all probably been the butt of someone's jokes and know what it is to have rough periods in our lives. Or maybe you're just a good person!
Sam -- Hope the tummy woes go away. I have to admit, Sam, that I did chuckle at your communication challenges with DH. You know those cartoons they have with humans talking to dogs. There's always a balloon with what you said and then one with what the dogs hear. I think that communications between men and women are sometimes that way too. Sounds like you were really moving when you were walking/jogging. That's a very fast pace -- way to go!
More candy making today -- on to the white chocolate. Bill was over yesterday to get the lawnmower and have a piece or five so they must be tasting pretty good.
Time for breakfast and then off to the gym. Hope everyone has a great day.
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
'Had a hard day yesterday and a miserable night. Mike reprimanded me for not doing my Qi Gong for three days. I'm so sensitive, it made me feel horrible. So I did my main Qi Gong exercise last night, meditated for an hour (as I'm supposed to), and set up the wheelchair at the front door and walked halfway down the hallway and back. All of that went fine. However, even though I rested a good while, I had neither the strength nor the will to do my nightly leg exercises. I didn't even turn on the rock-n-roll show (satellite radio) I always listen to.
I decided to go to bed early.
Then something ghastly happened: climbing the stairs, even on hands & knees, was so extremely painful, each step—not at all like it usually is—that I almost got stuck halfway up. But finally I made it. I slept a few hours, then woke up around 3 AM. I was in terrible pain, both my legs and my back, the rest of the night. I tried a lot of alternatives, but I couldn't find a position that relieved the pain. So I was awake for hours, crying out in pain—an unusually bad night for both Bob and me. (In case you don't know: throughout this whole disaster and its aftermath, well over a whole year now, I have never had any prescription pain killers, despite seeing a chronic pain doctor.)
In the morning I was downright crazy from the pain. By then I had cramps in both legs, and my lower back muscles were spasming. I said a lot of really stupid things, extreme things that I do not believe in. I didn't let Bob bring me my coffee, despite his having ground the beans for a nice fresh batch. The only thing I did right was to take my AM medications. I also took a strong sedative, because I wanted to be unconscious. I fell asleep, slept right through my monthly app't with my psychiatrist, and didn't wake up until after 4 PM.
But the sleep was helpful, because now my back and legs seem to be at their usual achey normal. And I'm not crazy anymore.
I'm trying to figure out the lesson I learned. I'm very puzzled about that excruciating stair-climbing followed by an awful night & morning, because I did not overdo it last night. I didn't even do my leg exercises.
The only way I can understand it is to listen to what Mike said: not doing my Qi Gong and meditation for three days straight was a HUGE mistake. I will try the same "practice" (that's what you do daily) this evening, and see if I'm back on track. I don't know what else to do.
Thanks for reading this, each & every one of you. It helps me so much to write it out!
Fly By again
The married life!! LOL!!!
Sounds like you were really moving when you were walking/jogging. That's a very fast pace -- way to go!