Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
I had a good day today, a really good day. Since it was Sunday, it was my day off from working on the BERP. (Since there are new folks, I'll explain that it stands for Big Entropy Reduction Project, in my house—I could also call it the Big Paper Removal Project, but BPRP is hard to pronounce. =laugh= I'm a collage artist, the old-fashioned kind where your only tools are paper, scissors, & glue, so naturally I hoard paper. My husband and I also hoard books, so getting rid of lots of books is also part of the BERP.) In the morning I wrote part of a letter in French to my Belgian friend, Robine, but soon the itch to make art became too strong to resist, so I spent the rest of the day happily ensconced in my collage room. I have a new piece most of the way done, but it needs some finishing touches I'll do tomorrow.
And then, around 6 PM, our niece Margaret and her 7-yr-old son Gavin arrived, our weekly get-together with them. While Gavin played computer games in Bob's office, Margaret helped me kick off an ancillary project to the BERP, which is that of sorting all the clipped images I'm generating as I plow through magazines into a nice set of twenty boxes I bought at the Container Store. The boxes are all different colors and two different sizes: they're all quite large but short, so they slot nicely into a set of bookshelves, and I've put labels on them like "People" and "Plants" and "Planet Earth" and "Purple" and so on—ten boxes for different image categories and ten boxes for different colors & patterns.
We had a good time sorting away, each of us working from a two-inches-thick stack of clipped images, laughing as we learned how to make all the decisions involved. For example, does a cool-looking black-&-white pattern of marbles go in the box labeled "Little Things" or the one labeled "Black & White"? We went for the latter choice.
It was especially fun for me to fantasize about how fabulous it will be to take down the boxes from the shelves and look for images in them, once they're all nicely stuffed with clippings. Margaret is such a good buddy to me: we think a lot alike about art and fashion, visual imagery in general, and we love each other very much.
And then, for dinner, we ordered pizza as usual, with a big Greek salad for me. Mmmmm...feta cheese, red onions, kalamata olives, those cute wrinkly pale green peppers, and lots of crunchy fresh lettuce. I do love me some Greek salad! I never even consider having a slice of pizza anymore: it's so much not a food that I eat, it doesn't even look like food to me. Yay!!
Sam— You are AWESOME to have made it under 300! I hit that milestone myself not that long ago, so I know what a lift to the spirits it is to have that three-digit number starting with a two already. You go girl! You're rocking the 200s now!
Restless— Welcome to the 300+ Chat thread—where we bare our souls, at least it seems that way to me, and cheer each other on as we march down the paths of our personal weight loss journeys. What kind of fur baby is Killer? The feline kind or the canine kind? (Or something else?) In mid-July I'll be bringing two oriental shorthair kittens into my home and my heart, so I'm definitely into havin' fur-kids. Tell us more about UARS and SDB: off the top of my head, I don't know those abbreviations. You sound like you've had a rough ride so far. I hope that soon things will be looking up for you! Wisconsin's a beautiful state, in my opinion. My parents bought a summer place on a lake in Eagle River, and I hope it will belong to my three nephews one day.
Jennifer— So sorry to hear about your migraine! I had migraines in my late 20s and early 30s, then they mysteriously vanished. So I know very well that migraine pain is no picnic. I'm glad to hear you have meds to keep it under control.
Betsy— You are so committed to your grand-kids: I really admire that. I hope that their love for you is a boost to your spirits and that it puts steel in your resolve to get down to a healthy weight, so you'll have a nice long time to be with them!
Ubee— Your new Tough Love thread was a great idea: I'm looking forward to getting my butt kicked there about walking more often, so I can get all this BERP stress down to a manageable level. Is it possible for you to put some of those treats you want to avoid into a box labeled "Not a Food for Me"? You don't have to be all-or-nothing about abstinence from sweets: just start slowly, with one thing, be it cake or cookies or whatever. Can you say to yourself, "That one food I no longer eat, except for special occasions I have planned in advance." It's not a deal where you have to give up the food for all time—just a way of making a compartment in your head that will protect you from those unplanned occasions. Think about it...
Terra— I'm so glad to hear you're over your bug. You're my walking hero! I want so much to be a taker of frequent and sometimes long walks. My father had terrible coronary artery disease that started in his 40s, but you know what? He lived until 80, astonishing his doctors, because he walked at least two miles every single day. I know I have it in me: I just gotta figure out how to build the habit.
silent— Oh dear, I'm sad that you've got a case of the grumps. Do you think you may be depressed? For me, at least, being grumpy is my low-grade depression. Good luck gettin' a handle on that, girl!
unsuspected— Sorry to hear that you have thyroid-related depression. What do you mean when you say, "Nothing can solve it"? Please stick around and keep posting. I appreciated what you said about my episode of depression pain...
Good night y'all....it's time for me to eat my muesli, then hit the sack. My Dad was a Navy man, so even though he's gone now, I still use those sailor expressions where you "hit the deck" in the morning and "hit the sack" at night. It's part of a lot of little things I do to stay close to him.... =smile=
Do any of you ever feel odd, like you look at your arm or something and it just looks different to you all of a sudden. Ironically at nearly 300lbs I am obviously still gargantuine. but ocasionally look at my arms and my wrists and they seem "small" not always but they have their moments. Since I'm not feeling the greatest I am slightly dehydrated so back below 300lbs, also have a somewhat low appetite (sleep seems to win over eating when I'm as sick as I was) Just one of those things, feeling "odd" I don't look any smaller but I FELT smaller at some points.
Severely Up today... Was sitting at just above 286 and change last week, and after a week of fighting the hunger demon, I'm at 292. I did have a lot of salt this weekend, so hopefully some of it is water, but its maddening. I knew I was eating too much, but just kept going down the bad road.
Dangit...
Back on the horse and starting over today. Nothing else to do.
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
Dean— I'm so sorry to hear you've been "going down the bad road." Don't beat up on yourself about it! Stay positive, and give yourself credit for recognizing what you were doing and pulling out. Did you ever try that slow belly-breathing exercise I explained a few postings back? It really helps you to make healthy choices, because it activates (and this has been shown in brain imaging studies) the part of your brain involved in higher, more rational decision-making, as opposed to impulsive behavior. If you need me to copy it out again, I'll be happy to do so.
silent— Yes, I have had that experience of suddenly feeling smaller, or getting a different angle while looking at some part of my body and thinking, "Wow, that's smaller." It just hasn't happened to me with my upper arms yet, because I've been really slack about working out with my bar bells. But good for you that you're having those positive feelings about your body! Hang onto them, if you can, and think about them when you're making choices about food and exercise. =smile=
Good Morning! Dean cinnamon hazelnut sounds very yummy! I have to find a place that sells different coffees. Glad to hear you are back on your horse. Lesson for us all DON"T GO DOWN THAT ROAD! Silent on getting into the 200's! For me it goes both ways. Yes, sometimes my hands, wrist and face look so much smaller because they are. Other times I catch a glimpse of myself and am startled by my large size. Fi I love the image of you and Margaret. I love/loved all my aunts so much I really enjoy/enjoyed my time with them. Sometimes I prefer my aunts to my cousins. I like spending time with people who have had a lot of lifes experiences. It makes me feel like I too can get through lifes challenges. As for the food, I'm OK at home it is when we go out to eat with a group.
Today I started out in a weird mood like something bad was going to happen. One of those giving up days. I came on here and I am back in the saddle. Thanks gang!
Can you tell I've been hiding out? Been a busy week and the job loss hit me. Not a good excuse, but I'm making at least a token effort to keep up my water intake and swim. We've had a lot of dinners out - birthday parties and family gatherings, and we have a few more to get through, but I know that as soon as I'm done work I have ZERO excuses to not be perfectly on plan.
Just thought I'd come back with my tail between my legs and remind myself that I've been bad!
Good morning all. Hope everyone in the Midwest and South is OK this morning -- looks like it was a rough night for so many.
Jane Life happens. And there are going to be family events and celebrations and part of having a fulfilling life is being able to be a part of those events -- including enjoying the food. Our problem occurs when we let the occasional celebration become a daily thing and it sounds like that isn't happening with you. So sorry that you're going through the stuff with your job -- that alone is undoubtedly making things harder for you. Post here every day and we'll help you with staying on plan during the day. Ubee Has your weird mood passed? I would consider it a weird mood if I woke up and was excited about going to the gym! Glad that you got back on the horse (that would have to be a Clydesdale for me right now!)Laughed about giving Sam a major chest bump for getting under 300......had visions of us getting knocked to the floor for some reason and then for me spending half an hour trying to figure out how to get up. I know......my mind tends to wander to odd places sometimes. And, yes, Ubee, I definitely have more success at staying on plan during the "busy" months. Just outside more and therefore away from the kitchen. Plus my garden is producing so lots of fresh stuff available. Great insight -- I need to figure out how to channel that kind of energy during rain season. Fi Sounds like you had close to a perfect Sunday -- so happy for you as you've had some rough days lately. And I do cherish my "grands." They're actually my nephews and grand nephews, but since my sister's passing 5 years ago, I've stepped into the matriarch role in the family. And I want the boys to have the grandparent experience as my own grandparents created some of my most cherished memories for me. I miss my sister every day, but I feel as though her last gift to me was asking me to take care of her family. Since I didn't have kids of my own, they have been a blessing late in life that I never thought I'd experience. Dean Recognizing and stopping a little slide is a huge accomplishment. Heck, I've had "slides" that lasted for a few years (actually, a few decades if I'm honest about it). Good luck with shedding those extra pounds that have appeared -- and hopefully you will enjoy the benefits of a whoosh. Enjoy that coffee. SilentArctic Yes, I've looked at myself and done a double take a couple of times. Got me to thinking that my self image is one of a really, really big person and that maybe I started needing to think of myself as a little smaller. Plus all of the mirrors in the house only show me from the shoulder up except for the long ones in the two bedrooms I rarely go into. Maybe a more frequent mirror check is in order. Hope the knowledge that smaller is a reality helps you to feel better. Being under 300 is great -- definitely earned it the hard way! Restless This is a great group, very supportive, and we're glad that you are going to be joining us. Wisconsin is one of my favorite states -- Ubee hails from there as well so it must be filled with nice people! Sam Sounds like you had a nice day yesterday. How was the beach and your visit? Jennifer Hope that migraine has gone away. They just take over the whole day when they hit.
We're in for a stretch of warm and dry weather, so I've got to hit the spring yard work (busy, busy, busy Ubee!). Food is all planned out, and I'm actually excited about finally being able to get started on some of this stuff. Have a great day everyone.
Betsy ~ Yeah Im glad I've been able to keep the diabetes at bay. Clyde doesnt go for walks with me when I go on my walks, He's too old, He wont stay walking, He stops alot so I just keep him at home. Sorry if I gave you the impression that I took him on my walks.
Ubee ~ Thanks, Im glad Im feeling better too. When I said Im learning to cut back on my eating, I didnt mean I over eat, I just eat too much during the day and its not always fruits and veggies Im eating during the day either
Restless ~ Welcome to the thread
Fiona ~ Thats awesome your father lived to be 80 when he had a coronary artery disease that started in his 40's. I believe you will be able to get in the habit of walking. Im glad to know that Im your walking hero. Im glad to be over my bug also.
Im gonna clean the bathroom and my room and then Im gonna walk for the 1st time today and then I'll walk again when we get back from dinner.
Good to see you Jane! Betsy you and your vivid imagination really crack me up! Kids can have lots of grandmas. I bet your sisters spirit is living on with every word, hug... you give all your family. They need/love you as much as you need/love them. Terra so do you graze all day? Do you enjoy cleaning? *Warning* if you say yes we will all be sending you airline tickets to our houses.
Today I have cards... to send out. I need to stop procrastinating. I know I willl feel so good when it gets done.
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
Betsy— Silly me that I didn't know you were childfree. It's the same with me: counting both sides of our family (which I definitely do, since Margaret is actually Bob's niece, not mine by blood) Bob and I have 5 nephews and 4 nieces, and something like 4 grand-nephews and 3 grand-nieces. (I say "something like" because there was one baby born to a niece in California whom I know nothing about, since he or she is being raised by the father, whom that niece did not marry.) Other than Gavin, Margaret's son, I don't know my "grands" hardly at all.
There's one grand-niece, Grace, whom I feel quite guilty about, because she lives very close and we get along famously whenever I see her at gatherings of Bob's family, but unfortunately, her key growing-up years have fallen during the worst of Bob's depression and the huge accumulation of paper in our house. So I haven't had the chance to be an great-aunt to her the way I would've liked. It's not too late, though, because she's 13 now. I just recently learned she wants to be a veterinarian, which is so fabulous! So I anticipate having her over immediately after the kittens arrive, if not sooner. In fact, even as I write these words, I'm thinking it might be cool to have her over some Sunday when Margaret and Gavin come over. She's been making collages ever since she was little, but hasn't had much exposure to art training or art. That's what I've really wanted to do with her: show her my studio and take her to art museums in DC & Baltimore.
Something I haven't told y'all, which gives this whole closeness to Bob's family some interesting wrinkles, is that he has two rather unconventional older siblings, both women. The oldest, who is most definitely a hippie from the '60s, has lived (natch) in the San Francisco area all her adult life. She married (now divorced) a congo player who is 3/4 African-American and 1/4 Chinese, so her four children—including her eldest, my beloved Margaret—all have café-au-lait complexions, mixed-race features, frizzy black hair, and just enough Chinese in their eyes to give them lovely almond shapes. (Most people ignorant of racial mixtures think of them as black.) Gavin's father was a light-complected black man, so Gavin has that light-brown complexion and kinky black hair combo himself—a beautiful child.
And then Bob's next younger sister, who was really into Russian literature and the Russian language when she was young, married an Armenian Soviet citizen, in the Soviet Union, in the 1970s—when it was very hard for ordinary Soviets to leave the country, of course. They managed to get him out on the strength of his having an American wife and a baby on the way. That sister is very religious to this day within the Eastern Orthodox Church (the Russian branch of it, not the Greek), and she raised her two kids, both of whom look more or less Armenian, in that faith. However, she and the Armenian fellow got divorced long ago, and...get this: her 2nd, and successful, marriage was to a dark-skinned African-American man, a wonderful guy whom I love dearly.
Even more interestingly, her daughter, who married an Italian-American, recently adopted her (the daughter's) cousin's baby. That cousin, the youngest daughter of Bob's oldest sister, was kidnapped at age 13 and forced into prostitution & drug addiction by an evil pimp, who even had one of her breasts tattooed with his name, like a brand! Yes, there is in fact child sexual slavery in the United States, because it happened in my very own family, in Oakland, California!! So her life has been a very sad story. She managed to get the pimp put in jail by testifying against him, but the pimp's gang violently harasses her, her siblings, and Bob's sister—even going so far as to shoot one of them (he lived, but now has post-traumatic stress).
I am so glad my dear Margaret and her son Gavin are safely away from that environment! Margaret, for her part, is amazed at little telling things about Greenbelt, such as the fact that some people walk their dogs at night. She grew up with bullets buzzing around at night, in her very own neightborhood!
The father of the cousin's baby who was adopted was apparently a dark-skinned African-American, because the baby is pretty dark with a wild bush of Afro hair: she's two now, and is a real beauty. So anyway, as you can imagine, when Bob's family—all of whom except the California crew live right in this area—gets together, it's an amazing melting pot of Scottish (Bob's dad—who's dead now, but Bob looks just like him), German (Bob's mom), African-American, Armenian, and Italian genes, with that little dollop of Chinese just to make things extra-interesting. And then me, the only blonde. =laugh= The whole gang gathered recently in a local Thai restaurant (Bob's father grew up in Thailand, a son of Presbyterian missionaries), and the Thai owners and waiters were just delighted with us.
My family, by contrast, is totally white-bread—mixed-background Midwestern & Texan—distinguished only by the fact that my paternal grandmother immigrated to the U.S. as a child from Denmark: her genes give me my naturally blonde hair.
I hope this long tale will encourage you guys to talk about your hereditary backgrounds. I'm just fascinated by the very many mixed flavors there are among people, especially Americans.
My fur kid is Killer, a 17 lb ball of awesome chunkiness on legs. She's my service cat and alerts me to low blood sugar or low O2 sats. Id be lost without her.
I live in Madison Wisconsin where I work full time as an Investigator. I love the job now as much as I did 15 years ago when I started.
Im here to lose some serious weight and hopefully to make a few friends in the process. Ive got about 100--150 lbs to lose as fast and as healthy as possible. I have UARS (Upper Airway Resistance Syndrome) and SDB (Sleep Disordered Breathing) Ive had 30 some surgeries, 2 broken backs, a fractured neck, 10 knee surgeries, 3 or 4 shoulder surgeries et al. Yah...what it all means is I always hurt---bad. My breathing is seriously limiting my exercise mostly because when it hurts to sit still, you know it's gonna hurt to move. So far Im still able to work full time, do some shopping and some housework / cleaning which I love. My Fiance'...GOD BLESS him..is retired and helps more than words can say. he has his own issues with MS.
So that's a little about me. Im starting to check into weight loss surgery being as my Insurance Co wont cover weight loss meds. Its hard and it's gonna be hard but its not the first time Ive tangled with difficult things.
Again...thanks for the welcome. I hope to be here as much as my schedule will allow and be as supportive for others as possible.
Lot of new faces here! That makes me happy to see more people on board! Welcome Restless!!!
Restless Your fur baby sounds so cute....I have 3 of my own; Sugar, a 9 year old tuxedo female, Suqeegee, a 7 year old cream colored short hair female, and Kitanai Mimi (Key-Ta-Nye Mimi, it means Dirty Ears in Japanese), a 1 year old Himalayan/Birman mix female...I recently aquired a baby turtle, her name is Kame (Ka-May, it means turtle in Japanese lol)...As you can tell, I love my girls lol...It sounds like you've had it pretty rough girly...I don't know what UARS or SDB is but I'll look it up to better understand. Hope you'll stay awhile!!
Betsy THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! It feels good to be out of the 300's!! I hope I never see that number again!! The beach was nice...it was great to catch up with some friends. DH got sunburned...his poor little ginger heart hehehe....It doesn't take much for him to get burned, even with SPF 50 on lol...He's loving life today haha
Ubee My other cheerleader!! It feels really good to get on the scale and see that I'm under 300...It is a big accomplishment for me and hopefully the pounds will keep coming off...I'm working so hard, it's nice to see things change, especially with having PCOS where I've seen a lot of girls struggle to lose weight. It's so sweet of you to get all choked up for me!! (((((HUGS)))))
Fi I'm so glad to see you had an awesome Sunday!! Makes me so happy!! So awesome that you're getting to spend more time with your niece and you guys get along so well.
Dean Sorry to hear that you're struggling a bit...But awesome job for taking notice and getting back up on your high horse and kicking butt!!
Silent I know exactly what you mean about seeing parts of your body that is smaller...I have had short FAT sausage fingers my whole life...they're still sausagy (?, like my new word? lol) but it looks like they are starting to thin out and look longer..For someone who has always had stubbs that means a lot lol...When I was a kid I used to always say I was going to get lipo in my fingers LMAO! My wrists are getting smaller too....they almost look normal lol...whatever normal is.
Jane Things are always going to happen love...what matters is that you keep going and pushing through. I've had a hard time lately about being scared and giving up...but I've seen how far I've come, and if I just take it one day at a time, one week at a time, I know that I can get better at what I'm doing and ultimately lose the weight I need to. You have already come REALLY far losing as much weight as you have! That's a real accomplishment! Keep posting, we'll always be here to give you the love when you need it!
I had a really good day at work...Feeling good. Still having TOM problems though. I stopped taking my birth control Saturday...I just couldn't take the bad side effects I was having from it and I've been reading about different herbs that can help regulate you, such as Vitex. I'm going to buy some when I get paid. I feel a lot better since I stopped the birth control. I don't know if I should tell my doctor that I stopped taking it though...I fear she's going to push me on it again, but I'm going to stand my ground. Women with PCOS are twice as likely to develop blood clots from taking birth control and I'm not wanting to take the chance. I'm not trying to prevent a pregnancy, I just need a little help with being regular with my cycle. It's not worth the risks to me and I think I know my body than any doctor will.
This weekend a friend of mine and I reconciled our differences. She totally chewed me out and basically stopped being friends with me back in January over some stupid stuff and I'm too old to deal with the BS so I just let her go...She ended up sending me a message and apologized to me so things are kosher now. I went to her house and spent some time with her Saturday night and she gave me some clothes that she was too big to fit in anymore so I got some awesome shirts to wear now! SCORE!! She wants me to help her eat better and she just got diagnosed with PCOS too so I'm going to do what I can to help her out. She's moving to NC next month so I won't be able to visit her as often, even though she's only an hour and a half away, so it won't be too bad.
I did 45 minutes of cardio tonight and it was an uphill battle from the get go. Part of the way through I started crying and wanted to stop, but I had to basically slap myself in the face to get it together and push through. I feel pretty confident that I have my eating under control now, I just really loathe exercise lol...But I do it anyway because I know I have to in order to successfully lose weight...plus my hormones are all out of wack right now too so that I'm sure had something to do with it. I did finish instead of giving up so that is an accomplishment, even if I did have to smack myself and get it together lol
Well I'm going to finish enjoying my dinner...I made roasted chicken with green beans...I don't eat the skin so I save it for DH, but my new love is dipping the breast meat into some dijon mustard...mmmm so good!!
Hello allllllll! I am way too tired to read everybodies thoughts right now, I promise to sneak back in the morning, but I do have a quick question!
Is anybody here using Phentermine? or has used it?
I am using it correctly of course, with no side effects, but I think it's working too well! I have 0 appetite at all, I slept through the morning breakfast hours and worked around cleaning my house from 10AM to about 4:30PM with 3 sitting breaks for my tea. It was crazy the amount of energy I had. Normally that would have been enough to send me crashing into bed but I still went out and got some hefty cases of water from CVS THEN I went walking for 2 miles. CRAZY crazy crazy. And I only ate once!? And even then it was like trying to shove a live cow through my throat. I'm not sure if anybody has anything to say but if they did, that would be awesome. I'd like to think i'm not slowly going crazy. I am not taking the phentermine to "lose weight" essentially, but to assist me in not eating at night or craving my sweet sweet treats.
*Sorry if I was all over the place in this post, i'm exhausted and clearly off on a random tangent
Hazelnut is on, and getting ready to have my protein bar for breakfast. Back on track for another day.
I have taken phentermine in the past, and I think it was helpful, but boy oh boy does it make me "frantic". A bit hard to get any sleep at all, and my mind was racing quite a bit when I was on it.
So glad to hear that everyone is doing well, or working through their struggles. Remember, you CAN do it. As goofy as it sounds, that old saturday night live cliche from al franken applies-"you're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it-people LIKE you"... LOL. Positive attitude makes the difference, and I struggle with that.
on getting into the 200's! For me it goes both ways. Yes, sometimes my hands, wrist and face look so much smaller because they are. Other times I catch a glimpse of myself and am startled by my large size.
Glad that you got back on the horse (that would have to be a Clydesdale for me right now!)Laughed about giving Sam a major chest bump for getting under 300......had visions of us getting knocked to the floor for some reason and then for me spending half an hour trying to figure out how to get up. I know......my mind tends to wander to odd places sometimes. And, yes, Ubee, I definitely have more success at staying on plan during the "busy" months. Just outside more and therefore away from the kitchen. Plus my garden is producing so lots of fresh stuff available. Great insight -- I need to figure out how to channel that kind of energy during rain season.
