It's been awhile since I posted because I've had a plateau for the last six weeks or so mainly (I hope!) because I've been quite sick. My weight has been fluctuating up and down a few pounds, but no big gain and no big loss, even though I've been doing my best to stick on plan.
I've been feeling really depressed about this. I made a promise to myself that this is the year I make a huge change and lose a big chunk of the 100+ pounds I need to lose. And I started to doubt myself, to think I couldn't do it. I thought that I was a failure, for only losing 35lbs!
Then this weekend I had a bit of a binge, brought on by the depression, and I didn't enjoy it. The greasy, fatty, sugary foods I binged on didn't give me the high they once had. And I started to think that maybe I am succeeding, even if it's not a success I can measure in lbs lost.
So I sat down and made a list of what dieting for 5 months, and losing 35lbs has done for me:
*I used to experience GERD (I would wake up vomiting in the middle of the night). But I haven't had a single experience of it happening since February
*I used to get a pain around my liver/gallbladder, whenever I ate something greasy. I don't anymore, partially because I don't eat greasy things, but even when I do, I don't have that issue now.
*my knees used to click whenever I walked down one flight of stairs. I work on the third floor, so walking down three flights with someone beside me was embarrassing. Now they don't click until right near the bottom, and I move so fast down the stairs now, that it's not even noticeable.
*I can walk up the three flights of stairs, and instead of puffing all the way, the only thing that happens is my thighs burn a bit from the exertion.
And that's not even touching on all of the other positives- clothes fitting better, face slimming down, not being able to eat as big portions as I used to etc etc.
The list has made me feel proud of myself, instead of ashamed. I'm heading in the right direction, after all, and it's about more than wearing a different dress size- I want to be healthy too, and slowly, but surely, I'm getting there, even if I do plateau here and there!
I just wanted to share this with everyone, because I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels this way!
You aren't the only person who feels that way hon. I am in my fourth week of my journey and the range of emotions i have gone through is unbelievable!! I think that sometimes we don't give ourselves enough credit for what we have already achieved. I didn't have the best weekend this week but i didn't have a really bad one either, some of my choices were not very good but i still got my fruit in. But this morning i felt a little depressed because i hadn't been 100% focused, i didn't look at all the good choices i had made, just the bad ones. I am starting to learn that this is what my brain does, picks out the negative things and tries to ignore the positives. But i am learning to ignore the negatives and focus on the positives. I have lost 4 pounds so far in 3 weeks but i am on a monthly cycle, so i know that i am bloated and have water retention. But when i got on the scale on Friday and i hadn't lost any weight my heart sank, i hadn't gained any but i was so disappointed. And i know it is because of that i was not focused over the weekend and because i am programmed that way my brain latched on to the failure feeling and pushed me off track a little. But i have been telling myself all morning today how well i have done and the changes i have made already are a very big deal. So this week i am focusing on my success and i am banning the word failure from my vocabulary lol. So you are not alone hon, we are all on the same journey. We can do this!! And we WILL. Good luck on your journey hon.
Hey Ferris! So glad to hear from you. And I'm so glad that you sat down and made that list for yourself. I know how you feel about plateaus, as I was just... fluctuating up and down a few pounds all April. They do break.
Those are some pretty amazing accomplishments, and I think I'm more impressed that you stopped yourself in the midst of a depressing episode and forced yourself to take note of where you are and what you've accomplished.
Good posts! Patience is a real virtue for weight loss as for any other major endeavor. Everyone has setbacks in their plans, especially people whose plans depend on these finicky bodies we live in.
My friend the skinny marathon runner had ankle trouble that set her WAY back on her training for an overseas marathon (an expensive trip that she had already paid for). In the end, she wasn't able to make anything like the time she had hoped. But she ran and finished and celebrated, because it was a much better performance than not running the marathon at all.
When I get low about a setback in my weight loss, I remember how my friend had to accept the need to heal and not to run, even though the clock was ticking down to that race. If I can't make the goal I want to this year, it will still be better if I keep doing the best I can all year than if I give up. I just wish someone would put up a ribbon at the finish line so we could all burst through just to show we made it to the end of the year!
We can't control everything, so like anyone struggling with changing habits, we need to work on what's in our control and let the unavoidable setbacks go.
That is a fantastic list of results! While the smaller dress size is indeed nice, the health results are the thing that will mean the most in the long run. It is a great idea to regularly revisit these changes, especially when the scale isn't moving. It is about so much more than a number.
Thats wonderful you were able to set those emotions aside and find the silver lining. That amount of weight loss is fantastic and you're doing so great! It's nice to be able to be comfortable with yourself and proud of yourself for such an accomplishment.
Keep moving forward and keep pushing that depression out the door!
Awesome reminders! I wish I would have had that outlook 6 months ago! I had been in the mindset to get really healthy and the weight didn't slide off like I'd hoped but I had HUGE benefits just like you, walking faster, feeling better, etc. I let the fact that the pounds werent dropping discourage me and I ballooned back up even higher. I'm trying again, one day at a time, and a positive outlook is definitely my biggest goal!
You're making excellent progress! I too am just coming off a stall that pretty much lasted me three months. Sticking with it rewards you in a lot of ways, not just on the scale.
Always thinking positive
