I can't talk about this anywhere, to anyone.. My friends don't 'understand' this and it's so embarrassing.
I have an issue with binge eating. It doesn't help that my best friend has a super high metabolism and likes to eat 24/7 and large amounts at that. I know I need to be stronger than this, but when I'm with her it turns into an all out binge-fest for the both of us. Her husband is underway right now so we've spent a lot more time together than normal.
I'm up 7lbs in 2 days. It's probably water weight, but I'm so disappointed in myself. I've worked so hard in the past couple of months to lose the weight I have and to go and do this? It just makes me feel horrible, like I should go do it again.
I guess a lot of it is that I'm missing my husband a lot. He's deployed and we found out a few days ago he's getting extended. And I miss my family. I haven't seen them in a year and it'll be another 6 months til I'm able to leave Guam and go visit. I guess I let my emotions get the best of me and it turned into 4 rolls of sushi saturday night followed by a handful of Lindt truffles. Sunday afternoon was a gigantic salad (With croutons!) and soup at Ruby Tuesday and a giant thing of frozen yogurt (and all of the chocolate toppings) at Yogurtland. And lastnight at midnight was cookies and M&M's. This morning I woke up thinking 'I'm going to regret this whole weekend', but when I came downstairs my friends said 'let's get McDonalds for breakfast!" and I just couldn't resist.
I follow low carb so everything I ate was just horrible.
Obviously the thing now is to eat clean, exercise a little more and it'll fall back off. But part of me feels like I've failed and I don't understand why I think like this. Even if it takes me a week to get it all off, atleast it'll be off.
I'm expecting a lot of 'what did you expects?' and 'this is what happens when you're dumb' and I deserve that. I just needed to get this out and hear it, I guess. My friends don't understand.. My husband says the generic 'Babe, stop stressing, you're doing amazing and it'll come off, don't give up.' and I just feel like he should be angry with me because I'm angry at myself.
I sound like a basket case. And yes, I'm in therapy for this kind of thinking.. Sometimes it just sneaks back up, I guess and with my therapist being off island for the next 6 weeks, it doesn't help.
I completely understand. Actually, I am feeling this way myself today. I am with my family and friends this next week and a half and it's one giant food fest! I told myself to make smart choices and eat on plan, despite everyone around me eating garbage and indulging in everything. Of course, once the food is laid out and everyone is digging in, I mindlessly fill my plate too like a sheep in a herd.
The only thing I can say to you and me is that one bad weekend or week of eating isn't going to totally ruin all of the progress we have made (I notice that we have lost the same amount of weight!). Sure, we might have put on a few pounds of water weight (I haven't even weighed myself and don't intend to until my family leaves town), but we know how to get back on the horse and continue on track. We need to be more stubborn than our urge to binge. I truly feel like this fight to lose weight is a fight for my life - both my physical health and my emotional health. I can't give up because of a few binges. I have come too far and so have you.
You are NOT alone in your fears or your challenges - myself and so many others on 3fc are going through the same thing. I also have no one that I feel comfortable talking to in real life about my struggles with overeating and binging - how afraid I feel after I give in. I am glad to have you and others to talk to - hang in there!!!! You can do this!!
I understand completely... my brother is a stick-thin guy who could eat an elephant and not gain a pound! Unfortunantly, I'm the complete opposite, I can look at food and gain weight. But everytime he breaks out the bag of cheetos... I follow suit.
The best thing to remember is "tomorrow is a new day."
I know it sounds cheesy, but tomorrow you can start fresh and try again.
I know exactly how you feel, I've done the exact same thing in the past except for the sushi rolls, it is always pasta with me. I'm doing the low carb thing too.
Don't get down on yourself, your instincts are right on target. Get back on your plan and move forward, that's all you need to do, besides letting go of the guilt or shame feelings, those are totally useless and they do not have to belong to you.
There is a saying that I have framed on my wall and I make sure and read it every day -
"Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted".
I look at my poor decisions of the past and have to put them in that category as well as the good ones.
Britty,
Can you talk with your best friend about supporting and encouaging you more to make better decisions with food? Maybe she could have her "binges" when you're not around and eat more healthy when she is with you? Example----I was at a birthday party and debating if I should eat cake. Two friends told me, "No, don't, you've done so good. It's not worth it." Their encouragement was all I needed to easily turn down the cake. Is she willing to do that for you? You've done great by losing 54 lbs.....get back on track with a mini goal of getting under 300.....you're SO close! And even though you got some bad news of your husbands extended deployment, use that to your advantage and think how much more weight you can lose before you see him again. I'm sorry you have to be away from your family and husband; it must be really hard. But like the saying goes, take the lemons and make lemonade. Get back on your weight loss journey with renewed energy so you can surprise your family and husband with even more of a weight loss. Hang in there. We all have periods where we do things we regret. Just pick yourself up and get back to work. And try to get your friend to support you in this. Good luck.
I used to have a binge-buddy, too. Only she did not appear to have a fast metabolism as she was bigger than me, and because of what we were eating we both stayed huge. She eventually decided to lose the weight and has gone from 320 lbs to 260. I think we both got to a point, separately, where enough was enough.
But slip-ups are a part of life. You've already decided enough is enough because you've lost a large amount of weight and kept it off. A few days of bingeing isn't going to bring back those lost pounds. They're gone for good. The majority of the weight you've gained is most likely water; I can't imagine how anyone can gain 7 lbs of fat in such a short space of time. I don't think it's even possible, tbh!
I know it's easier said than done, but please let go of the guilt. You're feeling guilty over nothing. You spent time with friends and had fun. There's nothing about that you should feel guilty for. I haven't slipped up yet but I'm anticipating that I probably will. And when that day comes I've already promised I won't beat myself up about it and you shouldn't either.
Get straight back on track and by the end of the week that 7 lbs will likely be gone.
You're not dumb, you're human. This has happened to ALL of us emotional eaters, and I know I'm not dumb, so clearly you can't be dumb either.
You've done so well and you're almost under 300! That's AMAZING. Please don't give up on yourself just because of one setback. I'm low carb too, and honestly most of what you ate isn't even that bad. Sushi's the one food I'll let myself cheat with, and it never does that much damage. Okay, so the cookies and M&Ms weren't the best choice, but mostly what you've gained will be water weight.
IT WILL COME BACK OFF. And quickly, too, because that's how low carb works. Just as soon as you get back on plan, the water retention will go away. Keep going and try not to beat yourself up for not being perfect.
One thing I do, which I say all the time and it sounds crazy, but it really, really works, is positive affirmations. Every morning and every night I look in the mirror and say out loud, "I accept myself unconditionally right now." Write it on a piece of paper and tape it to your bathroom mirror so you won't forget. It feels totally weird at first, but I swear to you it works. I'm so much kinder to myself than I used to be.
Thank you all so, so much. I really needed to read all of this. I was just an emotional whirlwind today. I went straight from the scale to this forum pretty much without giving myself a whole lot of time to think through everything and rationalize. My irrational side is REALLY irrational and likes to beat me up and I usually listen to it.
I had to tell my friend I can't do this anymore. I'm not losing weight just for myself (though that is most of it, because me feeling comfortable will help in every aspect; from marriage to friendships to just life) but also because I want to get pregnant. She's having fertility problems so I guess that was the ticket to get her to understand. This isn't just so I can look 'pretty', it's crucial in me being able to get the treatment I need so we can start trying to get pregnant (military dr's won't treat me til I'm at 240, but I'm trying to get to 220 first). So, she promised no more. She came over to watch a movie with me tonight and brought me some cocoa roasted almonds so that I could have chocolate and not feel bad. They're pretty low carb, too. I'm thankful she understood.
I am going to try a lot harder to not beat myself up over this. I wasn't this bad when I gained back 20lbs over 8 months. I guess it was just that it was so much in such little time. I know mistakes happen and I know with low carb the water weight comes on pretty quick but I'll lose it just as soon as I get back into ketosis in a few days as long as I'm eating clean. I just was really hoping I wouldn't slip back into old habits again.
So, again, thank you all so much. I was expecting to be beat up but y'all gave me encouragement and I feel much better heading into this week.
Britty, we have a 10 days in the Lifeboat thread where you can jump in our lifeboat and make any little changes for that 10 days that you think you can handle. We have life rings, buoys, and humongous warm floofy towels if you fall overboard. It's just an accountability thread and no judgement on if you fall in, but lots of kudos for staying in the boat and handing out towels.
Come on over, it's a big lifeboat and we have lotsa room!
Hugs,
Ratkity
PS Don't worry about the boat mousies, I have them on the run.
We all have this happen once in a while. I have binge issues myself. Even though I have successfully avoided binging for 9 weeks now, I spent a large part of the last 24 hours thinking constantly about food.
You made a mistake and fell off the wagon. Don't look back, just get back on track ASAP. You can do it!
I have spent decades with a feeling of self-loathing. I haven't given myself a break. Ever. Sounds like you have the same feeling about yourself. One thing I'm trying to do is to find little things to be proud of and stop letting that little voice drag me down.
You are smart, and you are capable of losing weight. You deserve it. Please keep telling yourself that.
I'm so ashamed of myself.
