So Thursday I had my three month follow up with my doctor to discuss my progress on my diabetes. My numbers are good, well controlled. My A1c was down little more then two points, it was 8.7 three months ago, it's now 6.6. I'll admit, it's not great, but it's good. I'm only taking Metformin 500 mg twice a day to control my diabetes, so I think I'm doing well. . .
OK, I'm getting off topic there. . .
The whole reason I'm frustriated is because I see this doctor for the first time in March, my weight was 348. I see her a couple of times here and there for blood work. I saw her for the first time in three months and I currently weight 300 even. 300.4 pounds. That's 60 pounds in 6 months, 48 pounds in four months since my last visit with her. She says my numbers look good, I've lost enough weight to reverse my liver problem (YAY!) but then proceeds to lecture me about eating the right foods and constantly tells me "You need to lose weight, you need to lose weight. Plain and simple, lose weight and you can reverse your diabetes."
I know this, I've been busting my butt losing weight. I'm a stress eater, I binge eat when I'm stressed. Currently I'm taking 5 classes in college, two of which are different math classes at the same time. I need a B in one and a passing grade in the other. I've never gotten a B in a math class in my life! Lots of stress there. I'm 6 weeks from completing my classes and earning my A.A. This week, July 15th my husband and I are moving. So I have HUGE stress that I could just be shoving chocolate chip cookies in my mouth from, but I'm not. I'm shoving sugar free popcicles and carrots in it instead.
I'm frustraited because I think 60 pounds in 6 months is pretty damn good. I'm frustraited because I think 48 pounds in 4 months is pretty damn good. I'm fristraited because I'm working my rump off and all my doctor can say is "you need to lose weight." It kills me because in the same sentence she'll say "It takes time, you didn't put it on over night and you're not going to take it off over night; but you really need to lose weight."
What do you guys do? Do you all experience this from doctors? I think I'm eating the right stuff, I'm losing weight I'm happy with and proud of. But I feel like my doctor, the one person who I thought would be happy to see me losing weight, knocks me on my butt for not losing more. It's just disheartening. It's like if I lost 10 pounds, I should have lost 20. I just don't get it anymore and it really bothers me to constantly hear "You need to lose weight" when I am. I can't do it any faster and I'm not getting surgery just to please my doctor.
I'm sorry for the long rant, but it's been bothering me since Thursday and I needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for the 'ears' to bend.
I've had this happen to me a lot when I was little, maybe 7 or 8. I was seeing a nutritionist at the time so I was hearing it from my family, my doctor and the nutritionist all at the same time. It discouraged me so much that I gave up in retaliation. In my early 20's I went to a new doctor after having lost about 20 lbs before my wedding and was really miffed to hear him say "you need gastric bypass right now or you'll die" when he was a larger person than I was! The thing is, most doctors say that a realistic amount or loss per week is 1-2 lbs. That's 5-10lbs a month and you hit that mark perfectly. Maybe she was busy and didn't read your chart closely, maybe she doesn't want to say "hey, great job" and have you stop doing what you're doing, or maybe she's just got a bad bedside manner. Either way, you need to have faith in you. You've lost 60lbs!!! That is amazing and you should be proud of what you have accomplished and keep pressing forward. Next time you see your doctor you may want to ask her point blank "what do you think I should be losing per week?" and if she follows the party line saying 1-2lbs a week, say "I'm doing just that, so what exactly is your problem?". For now, fluff it off as a bad day worry about the other important stuff you're juggling right now. Good luck on your classes and with the move and try not to let the stress get you down. Remember that no one can make you feel inferior unless you let them!
no, M doctor always said I was doing great and to keep up the good work when I lost weight she needs a hit with a hard mallet. CONGRATS on the loss btw
Hun, you just keep doing what you're doing and hang in there. Don't let the stress get to you because it always gets us off track! you're doing a greaaaaat job and keep that in mind!
Some ppl are just rude or have no tact. So remember, you're doing this for you, no one else. Never let anyone deter you from your goal and keep pluggin along!!
Lots of doctors have AWFUL communication skills and really, well, no people skills at all. I try to remember that. My current doc is not bad in this regard, but with previous docs I've found it helps to be direct, polite, but firm, saying something like "I think what I'm doing now is working pretty well, don't you? Would you like me to outline what I'm doing, and then you can tell me whether you think I should make any changes?" In most cases that shuts them up, but sometimes, if they have a few minutes to spare (which is pretty rare), they're actually interested in knowing what the program is.
Mainly, just imagine you're a duck, and her words are water--rolling off your back.
You're obviously doing well, so congrats on that, and don't let flack at the doc's office get you down.
You ARE losing weight, and there she stands telling you to lose weight. You not only received the message long ago, but took it to heart!
Doctors are people, too. Your doctor might not be as great with certain people skills. In her own way it sounds like she was trying to encourage you to keep going, because you're doing great! Only it came out sounding like "That's nice, now lose more."
YOU and those around you know about the progress you've made, and when you see your doctor the next time, you'll be in an even better place... and perhaps armed with a few polite ways to tell her that you ARE on plan, and that you're doing very, very well!
Your doc could have gone into automatic pilot with you. More than likely she says that to the majority of her patients on a daily basis, probably a lot of whom are not taking steps to lose weight. She could have momentarily forgotten your recent history and went into her daily spiel.
I teach and when I have multiple identical classes, I find myself slipping into autopilot. Do you like her enough to give her the benefit of the doubt? Or is she just tactless?
I thnk shows like Biggest loser has made people think its easy to lose weight and it can come off as fast as it does on tv. YOu are doing WONDERFUL!! Keep it up and in 6 months when you go back strutt your stuff!!
I had a Doctor once go and get a copy of Barbara Kraus' Calories and Carbohydrates and stand there and show me how to look up foods "just like a dictionary". This was after I reminded him that I was a medicaid patient and could not attend the weight loss clinic he sent his wife to for 'a little extra help". He was also clinically obese and at that point I determined had no bedside manor what-so-ever.
___________________
Last edited by fatgyrl; 07-10-2011 at 12:00 PM.
Reason: still adding my sig by hand... and I forgot.
It sounds to me like your MD was just repeating what she says to all her patients. Most probably don't lose weight.
If you like her enough to go back, take charge of the situation if it happens again. If she says anything about having to lose weight, politely interrupt her and remind her you've just lost x pounds in y weeks and ask her if continuing on that same path is what she has in mind. She will have to say yes to that and you can then tell her you have that part of your program under control. Just remind her every time it comes up.
Better yet, bring it up first and say something like, "You can see from my chart I've lost a total of x pounds in y months. Unless you feel I have to change that, I think I finally have that part of my program under control. What else do we need to discuss?"
Take charge. And good work keeping the stress eating under control. that's my biggest challenge.
Lin
PS: I put in the "x pounds and y weeks" to keep you in a math oriented mode. Just doing what I can to keep you focused on your classes. Good luck!
Thanks all, I really appreciate the replies. She's a good dr and I do like her, I'm very comfortable there. I must have just caught her on a bad day and she felt like the only thing she could tell me was "lose weight" because other then that, I was doing great. Atleast, that's what I'm hoping. Her bedside manner is good most of the times, so maybe she just had a patient that wasen't doing what they were suppose to be and felt like broken record time with me.
The one thing I hate (which I don't think will work for me) is she is constantly pushing the Atkins diet at me. I don't want to go along with these "diets" and reread all these books that have helped me fail in the past. It's hard to tell her that since she's a weight program doctor as well as an Internist. She swears by the diet, but I want to live by a life style, not a diet. If I want to eat a half of english muffin, I don't want her to berate me for it. . . sigh. . .
Thanks for all the advice, I'll take what she suggests and continue to do what seems to be currently working for me. If she repeats herself, I'll just let it roll off my back.
Oh, and thank you Lin for the math terminology
And I agree, shows like The Biggest Loser makes it look so easy to lose weight. I've always wondered if those people continue to live their life (working, going to school, taking care of kids) all while working with their trainers. I doubt they do. If I had nothing but 12 weeks to work out in a gym, insane equipment, a free trainer, and no other obligations, yeah, I'd lose 200 lbs 'easy' too.
The one thing I hate (which I don't think will work for me) is she is constantly pushing the Atkins diet at me. I don't want to go along with these "diets" and reread all these books that have helped me fail in the past. It's hard to tell her that since she's a weight program doctor as well as an Internist. She swears by the diet, but I want to live by a life style, not a diet. If I want to eat a half of english muffin, I don't want her to berate me for it. . . sigh. . .
Thanks for all the advice, I'll take what she suggests and continue to do what seems to be currently working for me. If she repeats herself, I'll just let it roll off my back.
I had a talk with my doctor when I went to see her last year about weight loss in general. She suggested a program that involved eating a lot of pre-packaged foods. You pay for the food to be delivered to your house and only eat that food. I did look thoroughly into it, but after the research I knew it was not for me. Not for my life.
She was suggesting it, because she'd seen others lose weight on it. That doesn't mean it's the best and only plan ever on earth! It was just her best suggestion.
You know what works for you. Keep on doing it!
If she keeps suggesting it further down the road a simple "I'll keep it in mind." is all you need to say.
And, again, keep doing what you're doing! Be proud! It's amazing what you're accomplishing!
First let me say I have nothing against Atkins or any other diet plan. Here's my 2 cents, for what it's worth (probably not even 2 cents!)
I'm eating sensibly - just the way you are, Princess. That seems to me like a lifestyle, not a diet. No matter how we look at them, I think it's hard to psychologically separate the word "diet" from most other sensible eating plans. If you say you're on WW, for example, that implies there is an end date to your plan. If you say you're eating healthy food, that implies you are just being smart in your choices. I think we've all come to the conclusion that there is no end date. We have to make healthy choices forever. Duh! It seems so simple when you put it like that, doesn't it?
If she pushes the type of diet too much, just ask her if she thinks what you're doing isn't working or isn't healthy enough. She'll be hard pressed to answer in a negative manner. That will just bring it to her attention that there are many ways to successfully lose weight.
It doesn't sound like a doctor I would keep, honestly. I have a doctor that gets so stoked over me losing a couple pounds that she forgets to yell at me about smoking.
It's good that she wants you to keep losing weight, but it sounds like (from your post) that she's not even acknowledging how much you HAVE lost. 60 pounds is no laughing matter, I bet you feel awesome compared to how you used to feel sixty pounds ago.
So Frustrated!
