Hi all, I'm new to this site. I really wanted to try something different in terms of support or advice. I figured that this was a good way to reach out. I have had a weight problem for years. It has stopped me from doing the things that I want and preventing me from being adventurous and living the life that I wanted to live. My childhood was filled with being teased, losing friends and just being heavy. I hated it. Now, it's almost the same, though I have a great job with people who actually care about me, it's not helping. I have had people talk to me about my weight and how they're worried for the weight I've put on. I don't know what to do. I am an emotional eater no doubt. I need to lose weight, but I'm kind of at the point where I don't care. I don't want to be at this point. I just don't know what to do anymore.
Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you!

Hi HBH. I've been in your shoes. I have been super-morbidly obese and to the point of just totally giving up. But some how, some way, I manage to climb out of the deep rut I had put myself into. It took every ounce of perseverance I could muster up. I forced myself every single day to stay on track. I felt better after just the first few days of eating healthy. I slept better, my swollen ankles disappeared. Every few weeks something magical happened. My wedding band fit, I didn't get as hot...my periods became lighter and on and on. Today I'm nearing my 2nd year anniversary of maintaining a 190 weight loss. I won't kid you, it still is tough every single day. I still wish I could eat all the crap I did before and never gain weight....but I will, so i don't.

Anyway, I have no answers for you except that in order for the weight to come off, you just have to decide it's high time to do it. You just have to do it. It sucks...but it's the only solution. Hope you hang around. If you ever need a sounding board I'm only a pm away.

I understand how you feel..im almost 300 pounds and ive been this way for a long time. My childhood too, was filled with teasing and hurtful words. I have a job right now where people care about me..i have a community of people that care about me but there always saying the same thing "im worried about your health" and i know that they are talking about my size..To be honest,ive been down the weight loss boat so many times and failed and like you, im an emotional eater..have been all my life..My father taught me that..He taught me to eat instead of talk about my feelings and now look where i am today? So i understand..and your not alone..and even though i want to give up on myself.. i know i cant.. i have to keep trying..

So here is to both of us(raises a diet coke) May we succeed and see results..may we learn not to eat our feelings..may we learn to care about our bodies..may we take off the fat suit..and see us..in true beauty! We can do it.. i know we can...some how..some way..i know there is hope..even if its just a glimmer.

Hi and welcome! You are not alone, nearly everyone here has been down the same path, so we understand the anger, the frustration, the doubt. Please jump in a thread to find support and words from the wise anytime!

as for advice, someone once told me any diet can produce weight loss if you stick with it - so the key is finding a plan that works for you, pretty much forever! Luckily you are an expert on you and what works and doesn't work for you! so settle into what ever combination of things works for you, don't doubt your ability to exercise (I'm just getting started on moving about myself) and it will happen!

I understand. I think everyone in this area can understand.

I've been big ever since I was a kid. Always the biggest in the class. It just felt... normal... for so long to be big, and avoided by other people, or laughed at. *shrug*

I got to a certain point in my adult life when all the little things added up and overwhelmed me. I knew that I could no longer allow my weight to weigh me down.

It was the right time for me. My head was in it. I knew I could accomplish something. It was almost as though I had to be in a healthy place mentally, before I recognized what realistic changes I had to set for myself.

And I do mean -realistic-. I always assumed I had to be all or nothing. I assumed I had to be that person who exercised an hour each day and ate nothing but dry grilled chicken in order to be healthy. I thought I had to give up a lot in order to see the benefits of weight loss.

I was wrong, and I couldn't have been further from the truth.

I remember asking myself "Where do I start?" and I realized that I was sedentary. I don't think I could've been more sedentary unless I just laid in bed 24/7 that's how little movement I got. I started there. For me, making it a habit was more important than how much I got to start. So I began with 5 minutes a day. Kid you not... 5 minutes a day. But, I stuck to it over the course of a month. Even then I missed two days, but I returned and got on the treadmill the very next day. For a measly little five minutes.

Then I upped the ante. Doing 10 minutes a day for the next month. I started feeling a little better. Doing a little more. Adding in a couple stretches and yoga poses. Knowing that what was most important was keeping it a habit. The time of it didn't matter. Just keep doing it.

I started looking at my food intake. I wrote down everything I ate. No lie, the first week I changed NOTHING save just writing it down. If I ate a whole box of something, that was fine, but I had to write down that I ate it.

After writing down everything I recognized that I didn't want to be eating the things I was. And so step by step, meal by meal, I changed my food. Either cutting a portion in half, or choosing a lighter substitute that tasted as good (if not better sometimes). No "diet" foods. Food. Cooked well. Tasting good.

And boy I'm still slow about it. I haven't cut anything out. If I want something, I'm allowed to have it, but I must always write it down. Some days I eat better than others, but I looked at it like movement... make it a habit, and it'll be easier to stick to in the end.

Some people can dive in headfirst to something. I couldn't. I had to accept that, and choose realistic goals for myself.

Look at your life. What you'd like to see happen. Then take one step forward.

You can do this. If you want to be healthier, you can do this.

Welcome to all newcomers and good luck ! I've been down the same road, too. my only advice is to pick a diet and exercise plan that you are willing to do and just get started. If you slip get back up and start again.It's OK to experiment until you find what works best for you. I tried them all and found calorie counting works best for me.

Honey, I'm with all those that say you need to pick stuff and comit to it, all the small changes add up eventually. And some changes you make might not be big for weight loss but will change your life in other ways.

I have a sedentary lifestyle normally work an office job, social activities are fairly sedentary a friend convinced me to try step aerobics and I am hooked. I may not be fast, but my friends all know i WANT to be more active. I am now the person that they call if they want to go for a walk, or sneak a workout in at the gym. Its just changed who I am even though I haven't lost much weight... I can just do more. I have so far to go still but even these changes are an improvement.

I needed to get into it slowly, just started by eating only at meal times, didn't really watch WHAT I ate, just got into the habit of not snacking/bingeing.
THEn started to monitor the WHAT, and adapting that.
BUT know that this is for the rest of your life, not 6 weeks, not 6 months ( the average length a very overweight person lasts on a diet according to a study I read on here) its got to be something you can live with!!!!
And yes, move more!!!

Welcome. I truly understand where you are coming from. I began my journey in 2008 weighing nearly 400 lbs. I was in relatively good health for my size, but things like standing up, or walking up a flight of stairs (I live in a small 4-story house) made me feel like I wanted to die. I had given up.

Then one day due to some personal circumstances, I decided I had to try something. So I went back on Atkins. I had lost over 100 lbs on it years earlier, knew I could lose on it, so I did it. And mentally, emotionally, I decided to fake it til I made it. I pretended it was going to work. Pretended I felt great. Pretended I was happy. Then, pretty soon, I wasn't pretending any more.

I lost the first 99 lbs in 6 months being positive, mentally and emotionally, and staying 100% on plan. By a year and a half I'd lost almost 150 lbs. Then life happened, and I gained about 40 back. But I'm here again, recommitted. Nothing is going to stop me. Nothing feels better than being too small to shop at Lane Bryant only a year and a half after being too big to shop there.

The plan doesn't matter, just pick one and do it. Pretend you can do it, if you have to. But believe me, you can totally do it. You can. Really. Don't give up, you can do it!

Thank you all sooo much for the support and advice. It's my second day and i'm doing ehh. It's sooo hard to stay on track. I haven't ordered out or eaten as much junk as I normaly would be doing. I have eaten like a desert you know? but not a full cake or gallon of ice cream. Portions. Which is a huge step. And no soda. It's a start. I just feel like I should be doing more, even though I know it's only been 2 days.
You are all amazing!
I wish you all the best of luck!

HBH, You can't do everything at once. If you can make a good change, any good change, and keep that up for a few days in a row, that will be soon enough to start thinking about the next one. Stay with us, and don't expect everything to change over night.

Good for you for getting started.

HBH as Vortex said, hold to your changes, once that become habit you can make more changes. Please trust me, It is a long journey but it will be worth it.

I have been there. Just recently. I honestly was so miserable that I decided I wanted to die without actually doing it quickly. Just delicously. I knew that if I kept up the way I was going, I would die more slowly than commiting suicide. It would be easier on my kids that way. Seriously - I thought that. I just started my journey 8 days ago. I have to remind myself several times a day why I started my journey. I needed to be there for my children. My DS is showing a horrible lack of self-control, and I realized why. Me. I was being a horrible role model. I have to show him and myself that I have the self-disciple and self-control to be healthy before I can teach him how to have it for anything in his life. That is my motivation.

I am glad you started your journey. And you have. You started making different decisions. That is huge! Reading your post and the responses to it, it was like reading my story over and over again. And to those who offered suggestions and support - thank you from me as well. The people on here are amazing and inspirational.

One step at a time. The changes you're making...you're building new habits. For the LONG term. You're doing well, and that's what matters. These changes, built up, over time they will make a difference.

I have been there too, and even with weight loss, am still there in so many ways. Change is slow for me, and frustration often come because I have such a hard time believing I can actually get all the way to goal. But change cannot happen unless I work it, moment to moment, day by day and year by year. THATS the hard part, accepting it takes a long time to loss massive amounts of weight. Learning to accept that and sticking with it through all the emotional upheavals, the crap life can throw at you at the worst possible times....well that is what change is all about.

I know that my obesity was stuck in the endless cycles of wanting to lose weight and feeling like I couldn't. It was the most helpless and sad place to be, and I was there for many, many years. Instead of trying to work it all out before starting down my new path, I took small steps. First, I decided to calorie count to get an idea of what I was eating. For a week, I shocked myself into realizing just how much I ate. Then the next week I cut it down a bit...not too much, just a bit and so on. I made no promise or limitations at first, I just forced myself to get into the habit of tracking...THAT was the most important thing for me, to be consistent and to be honest with no one but myself.

So true was I to tracking my intake, I have even tracked my binges to the last bite. Yep...that is how I made it to my current 90th week of dieting. I spend time each day learning about my body's needs, my emotional needs and work through the frustrations of my need to eat when I don't need it. lol.

So, instead of committing to all kinds of things that are nearly impossible to attain at once, try committing to recording what you eat everyday, even if you don't want to calorie count, writing down what you eat as a reality check and then with a positive mindset, review it the next day and improve upon it. One step at a time until it becomes second nature. Soon, you will know what works for you and what doesn't.

Support is essential....isn't this a great site for it?