Hello all!

Well, I will just start out by saying that depression really sucks. Really, really sucks. I am finally managing to pull myself out of a pretty majorly bad stint with the help of an awesome therapist. Unfortunately the major casualty of my depression was my weight loss. I have managed to gain back most (although not quite all) of what I lost. I also pushed a lot of people away, or rather was so withdrawn that people gave up on me, and for that I owe some people some apologies. I am still coming out of the muck and slowly surfacing, but at least I am starting to see the faint shimmers of hope, and that is a very good thing.

Note to self: when you stop caring about something that was previously really important to you that means there is something WRONG. Talk to someone about it and don’t just let go. Ask someone in your life to kick you in the backside if you do.

Actually, I figure I had so much fun losing weight the first time that I just wanted to give myself the opportunity to do it again…

So here I am, starting over, trying not to be consumed by the shame of my failures. I keep trying to remind myself that you can’t fail while you are still trying. I need to move forward – I have to for my health and sanity, and I know that the support here was one of the things that really helped me before. I refuse to be a statistic and I WILL make this happen again for myself.

I was also recently diagnosed with having high sugar levels and am seeing an endocrinologist next week, so I now have a medical reason I need to make changes. I have been working out with a personal trainer for awhile, but having trouble until very recently to get myself to the gym outside of that. I have just started back tracking what I eat and am trying to cut my carbs for the sugar issues, although I will likely need more specific guidance from a nutritionist once I have a confirmed diagnosis of where I am with the whole sugar thing.

So, hopefully I won’t be a stranger because I really, really need to be here.

Well welcome back to a new start.

Lynn

Ok, I read the title and instantly said to myself "a hobbit's tale by Bilbo Baggins" and then I come in to see your sig and omg, B5 fans in the house!

All kidding aside, I have suffered from depression since I was 12 and it does suck. Its a never ending ride of peaks and valleys. I'm really glad you sought help because too many people suffer in silence.
You have a fresh start now with the added bonus of knowing you did it once and can do it again! Welcome back and I look forward to your posts. But truth be told I'm more of a Garibaldi fan.

I was always a D'lenn fan, but there was always something about Londo...
And a big hobbit fan, too

Welcome back, Nancy!!! I wondered what happened to you!
I am glad you came to tell us about your "failure". Because it's not -- not a failure. It's part of the journey. Sadly, for many of us, a natural part. I've gained back 50 pounds of what I lost, too.

I'm so sorry to hear about the depression and all of that, but am really really glad to see you posting again!

Don't be a stranger!

Nancy - so glad to see you here. I also am struggling to get the scale to move in the right direction - I am still up about 14 lbs from where I was last year. As Heather said - it's all part of the journey.

You have no idea how many times I am motivated by something you shared with me a few years ago and think of you each time - I hope you can make it work for you too:

"Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries" - Astrid Alauda

Welcome back Nancy! I've missed seeing you around, I always enjoyed your posts.

Depression is a tough beast to get under control, I'm so glad you're getting there. I look forward to seeing you more!

Welcome! glad to see you here and I look forward to your posts!
Don't beat yourself up over it. I have been gaining and losing for as long as I can remember ,my problem like yours was an insulin/sugars problem, now that I know that I have started to have success! and you can too!

Welcome back Nancy!!!

I have suffered from depression all my life. Yup, it sux.

You are NOT a failure - old proverb: Fall down seven times, get up eight.

That is the definition of success!

I'm so glad you are back.

Lotsa hugs,
Ratkity

Great to see you, Nancy!

No shame here. Shame-free zone!!!! We love you! Stick around and we'll kick your backside if you start to forget to take care of yourself!

Happy you are back.. I so know the feeling. I have lost 100 lbs 3 different times and gained it back. I pray this time will be different. I am doing my best to take what I have learned and apply it to making better choices.

Hi Nancy it is WONDERFUL to 'see' you back. Okay you gained some back but you can do it again, depression is the reason a lot of us-me included-reach for fatty/sweet foods. You have been missed so catch us up to what you've been doing!
xxxxxxxx sharon

Thanks all. As hard as it is to get back into things, it's not like it will ever get any easier.

Thursday has always been my weigh in day, so I will officially see where I am restarting from tomorrow.

And yes, certified geek reporting for duty.

I to have suffered from depression since the age of 13. It sucks majorly but your not alone. Feel free to vent to me via pm if ya need too.

Lynn

Welcome back, Nancy.. Good luck with your efforts, looking forward on hearing your journey. YOU can do it and beat that depression mode.

Nancy, I am so glad to see you here! I have often wondered what had happened to you. I am glad you got help for your depression.

As far as your weight loss goes....So you gained some weight back....phfft...me too..and then lost it again and I think I will get to my goal this time. Taking it slow and steady. There is no race to "get there"....maintaining is tougher than losing and that is what I am practicing.

So what have you been up to lady?