[beginme]

I have really missed dating since I got fat two years ago. I've recently joined Match.com and put up 2 current pics. One decent face shot and one full body shot that shows how huge I am. I figure better to put it all out there than to have someone faint dead away on the 1st date.

BUT

Nobody wants me. Not one single person has responded to the emails I have sent. Not even to say, "Thanks, but no thanks".

I am getting really depressed about this.

A while ago, I thought I saw a dating thread w/a member who had good success online even before she lost the weight. But, I can't find that thread now.

I am hoping some of you might have suggestions on how to improve my chances.

Or should I just save myself the humiliation and cancel now??

[MyBodyisMyTemple]

Aww begin don't get discouraged! Hugs to you.

You WILL find someone that you enjoy being with and that enjoys being with you! Remember also that online is only one of many ways to meet great people.

If the current site you're on isn't doing it for you, perhaps try a few others. Most men (IMO) are definitely attracted to a woman with confidence (no matter what size she is) so make sure that you are giving off an air of confidence on your profile, etc.

Have some fun with it, get creative in your approaches, and you may start to enjoy it a bit.

And be sure to let us know when you find a great guy, because I'd love to hear about it!

[caryesings]

First, I accidentally discovered that match.com posts profiles even if person didn't sign up for their service so you can e-mail them but they can't e-mail you back unless they then sign up. So you may have e-mailed folks that haven't bought in and can't answer you.

Second, it's basically catalog shopping and the person who might be interested just hasn't found you yet.

Finally, I'm trying to be optimistic because I've had no luck on it so far. Oddly, I had dozens of winks and e-mails when I was using a picture at my highest weight (the profile that I didn't realize had posted when I wasn't a paying member). Then I actually signed up, put a picture on 70 lbs. down and pretty much nothing.

[5aday]

I have only tried e-Harmony at about 267 pounds 5ft2 in height and 34 years old. The site matches you so you both have the idea that you have something in common with the other person. I have meet some interesting guys, it is early yet for me so nothing serous has developed. I like to see the variety of men and their interest. This weekend is a free weekend so you can set up a profile and communicate on e-harmony without paying. Please note on this site you will not be able to see picture of your matches until you are a paying member. Do you search by city on Match.com? If so there might be regional and cultural difference in the response to weight. My matches are mostly from the southern state in the USA between 30 and 45 years of age. I also have several photos posted but made sure to have one that shows my full body. I think that is fair and best for you and the guys. Good Luck!

[shannonmb]

Hey Begin,

I don't have any personal experience with online dating, but a friend of mine who is ~260-270lbs met her husband on eharmony at her highest weight, and their baby girl is almost 1 year old! I recall her being frustrated at first and having a hard time dealing with the "rejection" of not hearing from anyone. Then all of a sudden she'd have 3 dates. So I say stick with it, and you just never know. I kinda believe that if it's meant to be, it will happen. But you gotta take that risk of putting yourself out there like you are, because Prince Charming probably won't come knocking at your front door. There are lots of places/ways to meet guys, and nowadays online is a great one!

I TOTALLY agree with Honey Bee (MyBodyisMyTemple) that confidence is more important than shape or size! If you are feeling down about yourself, fake it till you make it, girl!! Put out there that any guy would be LUCKY to find a gal like you (maybe not in so many words, but the attitude!).

Best of luck to you!

[beginme]

Thanks, everyone.