What does it mean to put yourself first? I have had some people tell me lately that I need to take care of myself. I think this is probably in regards to my weight and how stressed i have been, and how I have been going through some family and relationship stuff lately.
What does putting yourself first or taking care of yourself mean to you?
A friend once said to me, 'take care of yourself as if you were your own child.' People want the best for their children, so do what is best for you.
Make sure you take time to relax, eat properly and get enough sleep. When I'm stressed I take vitamins for support, like B-vitamins, vit-C, zinc. And when I have trouble sleeping I put a little bit of lavender oil on my pillow to help me relax.
To me it's like on an airplane when they say that you should put your oxygen mask on first, before helping those around you. You've got to make sure your needs are met before helping someone else. So for me that means going to the gym and cooking foods that are good for me and getting enough sleep, before I agree to help my friends and family with their stuff. I'm no good to anyone else if I'm not good to me.
I have found that this is exactly what I had to do to lose weight! I exercise because it's good for me. It DOES reduce my stress. It's good for my body. So are the fruits and veggies and whole grains that I eat... I have definitely started to prioritize sleep as well. I'm better able to do my job. I'm more alert. I can take care of those around me better.
I didn't just lose over 100 pounds -- I started making ME a priority. The 2 went hand in hand.
This is a great thread, and I think so many overweight people have the issue of caring for others before caring for ourselves.
This just came up for me yesterday. I was watching an epsiode of "Ruby" (love that show), and I was inspired to consider hiring a personal trainer. I thought ahead a bit and realized that it's very possible for me to decide after a few months of progress that I have to quit because I'm not able to dedicate myself fully to the effort. In other words, I don't consistently make myself my own biggest priority.
I may not know how to make myself a priority, but I know it when I see someone else who does it. I have a sister who makes herself a priority. Her modus operandi is that she takes care of herself first, no question about it. (She's also never had a weight problem. Imagine that!) If she needs to destress, she does it. If she needs socks, she gets them. If she doesn't like something, she says so or does something about it.
I guess to me, it means keeping myself focused on what is best for me and consistently holding myself to that standard.
I have found that this is exactly what I had to do to lose weight! I exercise because it's good for me. It DOES reduce my stress. It's good for my body. So are the fruits and veggies and whole grains that I eat... I have definitely started to prioritize sleep as well. I'm better able to do my job. I'm more alert. I can take care of those around me better.
I didn't just lose over 100 pounds -- I started making ME a priority. The 2 went hand in hand.
Same thing here. There is a bit of growing up to do in a way... You start doing the things you always should have in the first place. I think it basically means take TIME to do what you need to do. Exercise. Clean up your nutrition. Don't drop these things for other people. In order to take good care of those you love you need to focus on yourself. In turn the ones you love will be happier with a healthy happy you.
To me, it means finding time for myself every day. Time to excercise, time to cook, time to enjoy life. Doing all the little things I used to do for myself, embracing my value and my joy and never putting myself on the back burner.
For me it's a lot about learning to say "NO"! NO, I won't be home at 5:30 to start supper, I'm going to Weight Watchers meeting, or I'm going to take a walk first. Little things like that. They only take a few minutes, but they are so important.
Our husbands, SO's, kids, friends, etc., won't die in the hour that takes. Although mine sometimes thinks he will, *rolls eyes*
million$, excellent question. I can only answer this according to my own experience.
In regards to weightloss I absolutely 100% had to put my NUTRITION, SLEEP AND EXERCISE as the NUMBER ONE priority in my life. Nothing could come before it and nothing DOES come before it. I have many responsibilities as a mother of small kids, as a wife, as a volunteer and part-time employee. But FIRST I absolutely have to make sure I have had proper rest, proper movement and proper nutrition. With a clear head and more energy, I am much more productive. I can much better handle what life throws at me.
Closely related though I would say to take care of yourself in other ways too. I also find that taking care of my skin, taking care of my house, and just being gentle with myself helps immensely too. I have also very much learned that it really is okay to say NO. I have learned appropriate ways to say no and be tactful about it.
I made this point it's own paragraph for a reason. For me, it's really important. I had to clear any drama I could out of my life. That meant cutting out or cutting back on some people. It meant making changes in my own life to allow LESS drama on all fronts. Just like I set my home for success with the foods here, I set my LIFE for success by deleting drama as I was able. This even includes too much clutter, worrying about too many details, doing things that don't really matter, etc.
ETA: I didn't become obese because I was always doing for others in reality. I became obese by not being my true, authentic person. I kept myself busy APPEARING to be doing for others. I was worried about appearances--how my house LOOKED, how my kids LOOKED, how everything LOOKED. Not only that, but I was doing it with a begrudging heart. HOW THINGS REALLY ARE matters to me now. Not just the glitters and gold.
I hope this helps. Again, excellent question!
Last edited by Thighs Be Gone; 02-08-2010 at 09:33 AM.
This is definately something I know I need to work on in my daily life. I always put others before myself. I'm 26 and I've never really lived or gotten out or dated or acted my age... how depressing. So this is MY year. It is a slow process but I am trying to get to know myself and what I need out of my life to be happy.
I didn't just lose over 100 pounds -- I started making ME a priority. The 2 went hand in hand.
I really like your post and the other posts as well (but I didn't know how to quote them all! ). I do think that I have not really cared for myself. I have tried to make myself happy by buying food or clothes or food or little things I felt would make me feel better. But, I have not been necessarily putting my health first. I realize that I need to change that.
I have this huge desire to eat well, but don't make the time to cook enough, and when it comes to being cheap about food, I will buy cheaper food rather than what I should---even though I could have spent that $3 bucks on fast food burgers maybe on a couple heads of lettuce or something?
I also have to work on keeping focused on the reality that certain healthy foods make me feel soooo good inside...yet, I don't make them enough or eat them enough. Why? Why do I eat food that I know will make me have heartburn or feel sick later on? That doesn't make a lot of sense, and I think it has something to do with coping mechanisms and all of that.
This is definately something I know I need to work on in my daily life. I always put others before myself. I'm 26 and I've never really lived or gotten out or dated or acted my age... how depressing. So this is MY year. It is a slow process but I am trying to get to know myself and what I need out of my life to be happy.
Well put and I agree. It's just that I waited until I was 43 to decide to do this. For me it's a matter of learning to love, care for, and appreciate myself (talk about hard work ). I'm single with no kids so I have no extra demands on me that would keep me from doing what I need to do (except for working 4 10's each week and a 2 hour total commute each of those days). The work schedule is my choice; I've gotten used to Fridays off and don't want to give them up. That means getting up at 4am and going to bed at 9pm to fit excercise in. I'll start doing a test run of the 4am next week. I am so NOT a morning person. If worse comes to worse my boss will probably let me change to 5 8 hour days where I work from 10 to 7. Priorities and choices - that's what it's about.
My goal today is to cook myself some healthy and yummy food. I have been doing more for myself, and am really working on doing things that make me happy and relaxed.
My bf and I both work on valentine's day, and so far, there aren't any vday plans, which I had really been hoping for. I am not sure if my bf will come home on vday, so, I am a bit perterbed about that. But I will wait and see, maybe we will celebrate it on Monday instead.
What does it mean to make yourself a priority?
). I do think that I have not really cared for myself. I have tried to make myself happy by buying food or clothes or food or little things I felt would make me feel better. But, I have not been necessarily putting my health first. I realize that I need to change that.
). I'm single with no kids so I have no extra demands on me that would keep me from doing what I need to do (except for working 4 10's each week and a 2 hour total commute each of those days). The work schedule is my choice; I've gotten used to Fridays off and don't want to give them up. That means getting up at 4am and going to bed at 9pm to fit excercise in. I'll start doing a test run of the 4am next week. I am so NOT a morning person. If worse comes to worse my boss will probably let me change to 5 8 hour days where I work from 10 to 7. Priorities and choices - that's what it's about.
