I am about to lock myself in a room and just cry till I fall asleep - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

Joyathrt · 05-05-2009, 08:11 PM

I really do not like who I am or what I look like right now. I am so stressed out about my wedding that has been moved to June 27, and need to get into my perfect dress that I have just hit a pothole! And this really pisses me off. I know being stressed doesnt help, but I dont know how to get past it in order to overcome this obstacle. My fiancee asked me tonight if I wanted him to go walking with me. I told him yes. I knew he could tell how upset I was. So...... I told him I wanted to walk down to the lake and back which is around 2 miles. WELL 10 minutes into the walk he turns around and starts to walk home. WTF!! I just dont understand. Does he not understand how important this is to me??? I want to be healthy and happy and I really DONT want to look like a stuffed sausage @ my wedding. I am just so close to throwing my hands up in the air and say to **** with it all. I just dont know what to do. My wedding is on June 27th and I HAVE to lose a good amount to fit into my wedding dress. I know I can do it. I just need someone to help push me to do it. UGH...I'm trying to so incredibly hard not to let the tears just burst out of my eyes as I sit here. I know i need to be more positive and I need to be more focused....I'm just having one **** of a time doing it!!

mariamherrera · 05-05-2009, 08:19 PM

I'm so sorry I know how you feel! when I got married 4 years ago we had set our wedding date for 10 months down the road.pleanty of time to loose LOTS of weight! the we called off the wedding all together got back together and then decided we were going to get married right away before cold feet kicked in so we set our wedding date for 3 weeks away! only 3 weeks to lose "some" weight it was miserable! I only lost about 20 lbs before the wedding.. but at least it was something.. I'm not a big fan of low carb atkins type diets BUT they work and FAST it's not a permanent solution.. I would recommend calorie counting after wards.. but for the next few weeks it might be soemthing to try. I've been calorie counting for the past 4 months and it has been working well.. but I'm going to Florida in June and want to lose some extra really quickly.. so I'm going to do atkins for the next few weeks..

anyways cheer up the most important day of your life is around the corner! even if you don't' lose any weight before then I can tell you you will feel like a princess and remember the beauty and love that was present that day!

Tracy · 05-05-2009, 08:49 PM

Cheer up!

I am having a hard time staying focused too!But I refuse to give up,I know I could do this. Don't you give up either.Congratulations on your wedding.
Just don't stress yourself out of fitting into a dress. It will make it worse.
Your furbaby is too cute!

Debbie54 · 05-05-2009, 09:20 PM

Hi,
I hear what your saying since I've been thru it myself, and all I did was set myself up for failure when I set a goal of trying to lose weight for such a big event. Needless to say, I didn't lose the weight and that was over 10 years ago. Just the stress of planning a wedding is going to put you over the top.

You're going to look at my ticker and ask, What the heck? Why should I believe anything she tells me? Look at how much she weighs!! All I can say is, I fell off of the wagon. I WAS down 75lbs, so I know what works for me. I'm now back on track but have a long way to go to get back to my 75 lbs and more. But I won't give up, and you shouldn't either.

Your fiancee loves you the way you are right now, or else he wouldn't be marrying you. You have to find a way to accept that, accept yourself the way you are right now, and then make a plan of attack.

Take baby steps in your plan of attack.
1. Start with drinking more water, or some water if you don't drink it at all. If you're drinking pop, stop, even if it's diet pop.

2. Get up and move more!! That alone will make you feel so much better. There are so many threads here on 3fc that will help you and challenge you.
Find something that you will enjoy doing, instead of hating it. I joined the May steppers. I got myself a pedometer, and just walk walk walk, even if it's just walking in place, it's moving!

3.Join us on the 300+ thread where you will get sooooooo much encouragement, motivation, and support you won't believe it.

4. And most importantly, start a food journal. What I did was just eat what I normally ate for one day, or two,just too see how much I consumed so I would have something to go by. Believe me, they add up super fast and you'll be amazed at what you can put away. Then pick a plan, Atkins, calorie counting, Weight Watchers, whatever, just pick something that you think you can stick with....and stick with it!

Take each step and do one or two until you feel comfortable with it, then add another one.

I really hope this helps. You'll have good days and bad days, but please don't stress about it. You have such a short time to your wedding and it should really be a happy time for you. The weight WILL come off!
Best of luck, and sorry if this sounded sorta harsh. I just want you to not give up on yourself. You only have yourself to rely on. There will be people who will sabotage you, but don't let them do it because you ARE STRONG!!

Debbie

Devsmama · 05-05-2009, 10:17 PM

I say lock yourself in your room, cry and then come out with a plan. You can lose some weight before your wedding, maybe not a huge amount, you should be able to make a dent in it. You deserve to enjoy your day, you really do and I wish you nothing but the best! I'm pulling for you!

JuliaDH · 05-06-2009, 12:19 AM

I agree with Devsmama. Take the cry. It will release some of the stress then take Debbies advise. She is a wise woman whom I have grown to trust!

Tons of hugs!

gggirls · 05-06-2009, 06:54 AM

I hope you had your cry last night and this morning looks much brighter. As Julia said - Debbie is a wise and trusted friend. She speaks volumes. We've all been there. Remember you made the big decision to get married - that is the important thing to stay focused on. This is a happy time in your life - I hope you have a better day.

Hugs,
Carol

Torister · 05-06-2009, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mariamherrera

I'm not a big fan of low carb atkins type diets BUT they work and FAST it's not a permanent solution.. I would recommend calorie counting after wards..

Oh my! Please...do not judge a woe, if you are not educated about it. It happens to work quite well, especially for those of us who are hypothyroid and have a hard time losing. FWIW, Low cal/Low fat did NOT work for me in the long term. To each his own. I just hate seeing plans slammed without being fully informed.

To the OP......

A wedding is ONE DAY. I know you want things to be "perfect" (I wanted my wedding perfect too), but to be this stressed out for the next two months, is it worth it? Stay on plan and perhaps you can get it let out a bit in order to fit? I was in a car accident 3 months before my wedding and went from exercising 5-6 times a week to complete bedrest. I gained weight...my dress was altered. It did not change my day. The reality is...the marriage is the important thing. Have a wonderful long marriage...don't get so hung up on making the day "perfect". We are celebrating our 20th anniversary in October! I hope you will be doing that as well.

I wish you happiness.....

mariamherrera · 05-06-2009, 05:34 PM

Actually I said I wasn't a fan of the plan as in for MYSELF... but if you notice I said they DO work ! I was actually praising the diet in it's ability to work and quickly.. I am on Atkins right now.. I just can't do it long term.. I am fully educated on the diet I have read the book front and back at least 5 times times have done the diet successfully before and know a good number of people who are doing it currently. I just KNOW it doesn't work for ME long term.. I never once bashed the diet .. did i call it unhealthy? did i say it was a bad diet? did I say it wouldn't work? NO.. I simply said I was not a fan of it.. am I not entitled to post my opinion?

Heather · 05-06-2009, 05:53 PM

Hey -- I understand that ways of eating get very personal, but this thread is straying far from that of the original poster so let's get back to her issue!

And as for that...

You said your fiance didn't want to walk with you and wondered didn't he know this is important? I've found in my relationship that I can't assume that my husband knows what I'm thinking and I have to spell it out very frequently.

As for your wedding, on the one hand, you want to enjoy your day, but also realize it is only a day -- your MARRIAGE is the lasting outcome. So, what can you do to help you enjoy that day and not stress you out?

nelie · 05-06-2009, 06:16 PM

Weddings are stressful and trying to fit into a dress is well extremely stressful.

I know it'd be nice to get support from those you love and I'm sure it would've been nice to walk with your fiance to the lake but you can not depend on others to get you where you need to be. Your exercise and your eating habits need to come from you and be driven by you.

Also I know it may not be what you want to hear but... you may want to look for another dress. Our bodies don't always follow our plans and it'd be better to have a dress you fit in with the size you aren't happy with vs a dress that you can't fit in.

I also agree, a wedding is just one day, your marriage is for a lifetime.

Know that you have people who are here for you and will do our best to support you.

Joyathrt · 05-06-2009, 09:22 PM

Oh my.... I didnt intend to start a mini war over the low carb issue. I have actually dont Atkins and did really well on it. So... I am back on it now, but not 100%. I will pick one day out of the week for my "free day" but not really free bc I will still watch what I eat.

Anyway, I did have my hysterical meltdown last night. I will say, it did help me sleep a lot better last night bc it just wore me out. Today, I am feeling a lot better....AND my fiancee went on a 2 mile walk with me tonight and promised me that he would go every night with me. Even if he doesnt follow through with this, I will definately go after work every day. Also, starting tomorrow, I am going to get up early before work and do my walk away the pounds dvd or biggest loser dvd. I am just going to make myself do it. If I want to be healthy and have kids... I need to just do it! So really, thank all of you for your shoulders to cry and babble on last night and your pep talks....It really did help.

Love you guys!!

azcyn · 05-06-2009, 11:24 PM

I say GO in your room..and CRY! Don't ever fight the crying trust me feels better to get it out. The one thing of advice I can give you is this. I say this to everyone that is getting married...don't worry so much about planning for the PERFECT wedding dress, the PERFECT cake, the PERFECT hair...THE PERFECT DAY....PLAN for the rest of your LIFE!! Everyone tends to focus on that day!! Do the best you can do..and remember you can only be the best you can be right now!

Torister · 05-07-2009, 08:49 AM

I am so glad to hear that you are back on track. Honestly, weddings are SOOOO stressful and in hindsight you will wonder *why* you got yourself all worked up over *one* day!

Hoping that your exercising kicks things up for you...and if not...no worries! There are alterations that can be made to ANY dress.

Joyathrt · 05-07-2009, 12:36 PM

Is it better to eat dinner before or after a workout??