I finally did go to the ER and after many monitors etc. They believe that I am having panick attacks again. I went to see my regular Dr and she has set me up with an echocardiograhm to get it out of my head and hers once and for all about the anuerism thoughts. She is 99% sure that it is my stress level and panic attacks. She talked to me for a long time about getting counseling for all of the emotions and feelings that I am having with my weight loss changes. So, I am back on Cymbalta and she gave me some atavan to help out for a while until I really have the cymbalta in my system and things get better with my job at the end of the month.
I thank you all for all of your loving concern. You guys mean the world to me truly and to know that you were all caring so much about me is such a lovely feeling. I haven't had friends in such a long time and it is nice to have many here.
My sister is law is here from CA doing job faires and stuff for teaching. She is moving here in July no matter what she says so she is really hoping to get hired on before then. She has 14 year teaching experience. Hopefully they will hire her. She does have lots of things ready to move and has been saving money like crazy. She is paying for a shed to be built in our back yard that my husband gets to keep but she will be putting her stuff in it.
Hugs to you all and
Sharon: Wow! -7 pounds is awesome. You are rockin it girl.
Good deal that you got yourself checked out. My doc did an echo on my heart a couple of weeks ago. It was cool to watch because you can make out the valves and stuff. The technician was really nice to talk to. You know I'm a science geek and think all these things are da bomb hehe. BTW, I have a normal heart. Doc is very heart conscious for women's health and wanted to make sure there wasn't any enlargement due to past blood pressure issues or sleep apnea. I'm sure yours will be the same too! I hope you have a nice tech too.
I ordered some sugar-free hard candies made with only splenda and they arrived yesterday. They are good! Finally, something decent to crunch on during stressful times. I ordered grape and cherry. I also bought some sugar free mini-tootsie pops too, but they also have a some sugar-alcohols in them and I have to be careful how many of those I eat. They can do a number on my intestines.
edit: ugh, I found out the candies still have sugar alcohols in them as well as Splenda... I'll let you know if they are as bad as the stuff made with isomalt.
Oh TOM, how I hate thee... let me count da ways! *grumble grumble*
Annie-I am glad they haven't found anything serious. Even though I'm still really large, I have shed a lot of my protective armor, so it can be anxiety causing to leave the house. It's like being naked in a way.
Rat: I hope the candies are better than you are thinking. Hugs.
Catherine: I am right there with ya. Lots of changes going on in my life and I am still technically labeled as having a disability. I know I do still have panic disorder and agoraphobia and I think it is just acting up a bit.
Had a better day today so maybe it is all work related. That was what happened in the past. I need to work now so I certainly hope I can continue.
I was down today to my lowest weight ever, well, in 23 years since I started gaining all of my weight. I will weigh again tomorrow and post it. DH and I started lifting weights together so maybe it is paying off already. I also have upped my calories since the Dr. told me to a week ago. It seems to be working!
Okay, I'll post my weigh in tomorrow and hopefully I will have a loss on my tracker to show. I finally took some update photos for March. They are on the picture thread.
Time for me to become responsible and accountable again. I have been working 70 to 80 hours per week and it has completely derailed me. Pair that with a lot of work stress, and I seem to have thrown in the white towel regarding weight loss. I went into work this morning and got some not great news and came back home. I didn't (or won't) work this weekend, and really there is no reason to because of what is going on what work. I hope to get some more clarity Monday. But, I need to stop putting work before me. Yes, I NEED to work 60 to 70 hours per week is my best guess, but somehow I am going to make me a priority as well. What I will do the remainder of the remainder of the month:
1) NO more going out to eat / drive thrus
2) Keep calorie level 1800 or below
3) Burn my required 3300 calories EVERY day for the rest
4) Get my 10,000 steps in every day
Items 3 and 4 I will try to manage by going out and getting walks. But, if I don't have good weather, daylight, etc, I will walk indoors. I really need to regain the focus I had.
Sorry for no personals. I need to dry myself out of this funk. And I will. I think a few detox days will help.
Annie - I was wondering about March pics - won't be long until it's time for April. I'm glad you had a good day yesterday.
Angie - we always make time to take care of other things. Part of this journey is learning to take care of us at the same time. Walking outside is so much better for my psyche - helps keep me in a better place.
Rat - how was the candy?
Sharon - I told Johnnie you asked about her. I think it made her day. Her progress is slower at home than she had hoped - one day at a time.
We went to Cheeseburger in Paradise last night with friends and I finally did it - I made good choices while eating out! See the little halo surrounding my head. I'm hoping today is warm enough to get the pups to the park - we could all use some fresh air.
Move your bodies, drink your water and SMILE (this means in the mirror at yourself too)
I was looking for the thread "300+ ..and ready to try again"...is that thread gone? does anyone here remember it? Did this take the place of it?
My name is Mel, I've been posting on and off here for years. It's just recently though that I've really become serious about my weight. recently i was told that i am diabetic, and that has scared the s*** out of me, so now i am determined to control this disease.
Anyways, I hope to get to know you all, and perhaps see some old familiar faces soon...
catherine - i think i remember you - you used to be hippievanlady, right? i changed my username too - i used to be "missmeliss" - but then some weirdo stalker i found was tailing me over here and reading my posts so i changed my username...
Vermont Chick-Welcome back, YEP the thread changed its name recently & Catherine WAS Hippievanlady.Sorry about the cyber stalker.xxxxxx
Annie so glad it wasn't serious!xxxxxx You take care of yourself.xxxxxx
Carol sorry Johnnie is healing slowly, how is she in herself, fed up/bored? WTG on the exercise. We went for a walk tday (12 noon), took the dog & boys rode their bikes, the sun is shining & I didnt want to go home, could have gone much further but hubby had a pain in his thigh so we had to cut it short.xxxxxxx
Spring is here with a vengence! It is such a beautiful day, hung three lines of washing out & got two more loads in the washer & waiting to go in, I love line-dried clothes.
Gotta finish of my lunch& get the house tidy.
xxxxxsharon
Hi sharon - nice to meet you!! i can always tell when someone british is posting because you guys text all the time over there, and you always do those cute x's after your texts ;p
Annie: I am so glad that you are ok. Panic attacks are nothign to be messed with. Before I told my mother off and where to go ( long story) I would have them all the time.Then I turned 28 and said enough is enough! have not had one since.
Carol: WTG on making good choices at a burger place!!!!
As for me: Well last night I went with my sister to her friends bridal shower. I know her friend but not all that well and I knew my sis would be drinking so I said I would drive and bring my nephew back to stay a few days since my kids and him are on spring break. NOW my sisters friend know that I do "those" parties. SO we are sitting there waiting for everyone to get there and she said the naughty lady will be here soon. My sister was liek what?? She said that she booked this lady back in April from a bridal show. I was not doing "those" parties back then. So I was not mad lol but i felt weird. So we agreed not to tell this lady that I did "those" parties. Well I have to say..she did ok BUT her show was way to long and their stuff was way more expense!! Also she was sort of rude to one of the girls because she dropped a "toy" on teh ground. That is what happens when there are drunk women. She ended up not giving the bride to be any credit for the party until she placed her order???? So the bride said that she would call her. Which she is not! I have no idea what they party plans requirements are BUT ours get atleast a gift and 10% for the own shopping spree. THAT IS THE WHOLE REASON TO HOST ONE SO YOU GET FREE THINGS LOL. I gave the bride to be my catalog and $50 in bridal bucks. She was so happy cause she got nothing with this other lady. I am soooooo glad that I went with,Slumber Parties! We treat our hostesses right. Oh and she made her put down a $50 deposit! That is unreal.
Sorry so long ..but once i start typing I get on a roll.lol
It is a rainy Spring day. Much warmer than it has been. WE were going to go sledding but the tubbing hill is closed because they are getting too much snow. WE went to church and now my SIL that is here visiting and I are going to go do some clothes shopping.
Angie: I think your plan sounds great. Anything we can do to help please let us know.
Carol: Way to go on your eating out choices! Hugs.
Mel: Hi there and welcome back. Scarry about the stalker.
Sharon: I want your Spring weather today.
Cyn: I think it was cool that you got to see the competition and what not to do. Tee hee.
Well, I weighed in this morning for my Biggest Looser challenge and I am thrilled. I have been lifting weights and doing exercise which I will post on the exercise thread later. I am down 8 pounds this week. I'm sure lots of it is TOM weight but, this is the lowest I have weighed yet. Only 3 more pounds to reach my next goal of Loosing 300 pounds!!!! Then onward and downward hopefully out of the 2's.
Mel-Welcome back, yeah that was me. I had to leave my van behind in Florida when I moved up north, so everytime I logged on I got reminded of it, so I asked them to change my username.
Annie-Yeah, that stuff rears its head every now and then. My last one was a week ago before I had to go to the doctor. I actually broke out in hives and had to be sedated. It was just for an office visit. Good grief.
Sharon-I love line dried clothes too. We aren't allowed to have one here. I use an indoor rack. I probably get more use out of it anyway, what with the knee deep snow and all. I'm think about installing this European thing that attaches to the ceiling on a long hallway, and pops down to load with laundry, and then pops back up out of the way.
Carol-Eating well at Cheeseburger in Paradise is a miracle. Fish tacos aren't too bad, but the Key Lime always calls to me.
Angie-Don't beat yourself up too much. I can't imagine trying to work 80 hours a week, and do anything else but sit in a chair when I got home. Dieting/Exercise is practically a full time job at my size.
I'm still supposed to be working at my term paper. I will be finished with the course when I do get it done, so I have that incentive.
Well, the sugar free candy does have sugar alcohols in it and it did a number on my intestines after eating too much of it. One to three pieces should be enough not to mess with me. Any more than that and it'll do a number on my insides.
It's icky and rainy outside. I forced myself out of bed and got some chores done. I've been cramping badly from this month's TOM. Bad TOM, Bad!
I did have a triple espresso shot latte as a treat for going out to get my stuff done. It was a carrot enuff to get me going.
