We take care of the things we love and feel connected to, and we neglect or try to destroy the things we don’t. It’s that simple.
I read this in an article this morning, and while i think it's a little simplistic, I do feel that it is fundamentally correct. It got me thinking about when my kids were little and growing up. I never let them do anything that would be harmful to them. I watched what they ate, kept plenty of fruit in the house, etc. I had an etegere in the states that i kept all my knic knacs that were important to me or special, and i took care of them by dusting, cleaning the glass, putting them where they would draw the most light, notice, etc. I dont know why until recently I never have really taken care of me. Its not that I havnt 'liked' me. I know I'm reasonably intelligent, kind, honest, loving, and wear my heart on my sleeve. But the inner me didnt have anything to do with my 'body'. When i would go past a mirror i would hate what i saw.. not me, just my body, and wouldnt take care of it. I wonder what makes some of us this way. Its like i have two parts to me, the inner part that i like and respect, and the outter part that i have neglected, injured, etc. Finally it's like a light bulb has gone on, and i realize that the 'me' i like is one and the same with the body i dislike, so the natural conclusion is to take care of my body, get it in shape, and feel complete. not sure if anyone will understand what im trying to say here lol.. i have a dentist appt tonight so my mind keeps wandering to the terror of that lol... but i was just wondering if any of you have noticed this? agree with it? or?
I completely agree.
When I was going through issues with bipolar I didn't care about anything at all. And it showed! It's only been since I met my husband that I've really started to care. Cleaning the house, loosing weight, taking control of my health.
It feels good though! And working out does wonders for my bipolar.
When I have trouble with choosing new habits, I often think about what choices would I make for a child, and why. The why is crucial, because the why is always because it will be good for them. I deserve that too.
I have noticed that I get the things done that I prioritize and that's it. For most of my life, it wasn't me. I liked it when I started prioritizing me and taking care of me and the weight came off.
Lately I'm struggling and I can see it's related to prioritizing other things, and not me. And that's a problem, as the weight is coming back on...
Julie, that is an incredible thought to share. That is a great way to determine the best choice.
Jimiterry, I completely (w/every ounce of my being) identify with what you are saying. I believe all those good things about myself too--now, my outside is a better match for my inner being though.
To take this a step further, I have learned to dismiss many things I spent time on before because they are simply NOT important OR not important to ME! Things topping this list are:
1. Worrying about what my children are wearing (I settle for weather appropriate, clean and chosen by THEM now) I spend the time deciding what I am going to wear now.
2. Not worrying about what my neighbors think--my home is festive this year but I spent very little time getting the OUTSIDE all spruced up...I settled for a Santa Claus spotlighted in my front yard and one heavily lighted garland and wreath on the door. I spent my time this year making my home more festive INSIDE and cooking yummy treats w/better choices than last year.
3. Stressing out in traffic--I decided to let the world have the chaos. I am too good for it and would rather be thinking about other things while I am driving.
4. Appearing "perfect" to my children's teachers and to the school. Sure, I will go volunteer each week but I am not going OVER THE TOP for everything anymore. There are 22 kids in the class and their mothers need to help and buy something too! Not just me!
Okay, this is ongoing rambling I know. This is list isn't all inclusive. But I think all of you get the idea.
Last edited by Thighs Be Gone; 12-16-2008 at 09:08 AM.
You know, sometimes I think that if we treated our kids as badly as we treat ourselves, we would be arrested for child abuse.
I've had a bad health scare this year, and it made me think about a bunch of things, for real.
Like, how would my family cope without me. And the answer was there were areas that need improving, and the main one was taking care of myself. Because I am important to my kids and my husband, not just emotionally, but also financially and as a cook and a cleaner and a driver and an errand runner, and a shopper, and a hugger, and a snuggler and a dog walker, and a refrigerator tidier, and all those things.
I may not be able to take care of me today very well, because I'm not really used to it, but I can take care of myself because they need me to be there, taking care of myself.
If this is as close as I can get today, then so be it.
I can not agree with everything being said MORE!! We do neglect ourselfs..and it shows on our body. I am learning to be selfish..and say NO I dont want to eat there...I want to eat..where i can have a meal that will work into my diet. I am learning that I am important and even though my kids are now adults they still need me and i have to take care of ME!!!
What good psych this is. My kids are grown and gone, I am living alone and NOW is the time to take care of myself.
Love playing with grandchildren but I get so short of breath I have to stop.
I am taking this one day at a time. I went to the store and bought whole fiber bread, lowfat milk, fruit and all good stuff then on the way out I picked up two bags of valentine chocolate. When I got to the check out I put the candy next to the magazines and did not buy it.
Yea!! I did not buy the candy. This is my goal, to take care of myself. I would never have bought two bags of candy for one of my children to eat, so why do I have that in the house for me to eat.
1. my kids have new shoes..and a good amount of clothes..me old rags cause I hate cloth shopping cause of my weight!
2. My fabric! let me tell you as a craftaholic..I have lots of fabric and you can bet that stuff in folded nicley in a container where nothing short of a fire can hurt it!
3. my pictures. As for as "objects" go, my pictures are by far one of my most prized possessions. They are safe and treated wonderfully!
It is true!!!! I need to start putting myself at the top of the list.
neglecting things we dont care about
