I started to put this in the thread about kids, but decided to put it here instead.
The food at home has always been pretty ok. Almost all of my unhealthy eating and binging was done AWAY from the house when I was alone. I never wanted my kids to have the same relationship with food that I do, so I hid that part of my life from them. To this day they are amazed that I could gain so much weight eating the say way they do. (I will be honest with them, but I have not gotten to the point where I can do that yet.)
Just wondering how many other people have hidden their eating the same way a drug addict hides his/her habit. That's what it always felt like to me. Hiding my addicition, and I guess that's what it is.
Yes, I have hidden my eating in the past. That is one of the many ways I have been dishonest with myself and others when it came to my food addiction.
Another thing I noticed doing was hiding while in front of people, the way kids taking tests in school hide their papers on their desks with their arms. This unconscious action served to protect my food from theft (that is some crazy shizz, no? no one has ever stolen or threatened to take my food away) and to protect from prying eyes and judgment about my food.
All of my obsessive eating was done alone. Then I'd get rid of the wrappers and it was like nothing ever happened. Right? LOL. Well the scale told the truth and my husband, also, must wonder how I managed to gain so much based on what he saw me eat.
This is a challenge for me. Especially right now while my husband is working away from home and is only here on weekends. A lot of free time on my hands with no witnesses. It's a real test but it's going ok.
I 100% hid my food habits from the world. Oh how many times did I hear "But I just don't understand how you can be so heavy, you hardly eat anything." Well, yeah - I didn't eat much IN FRONT of people. But when no one was around ..........
I would go shopping for my "stash" and then hide it and eat it when no one was around. Then I'd discard the trash, making sure I wrapped it up real well so no one would "find me out". There was much shame involved for me. I hated sneaking around and hiding my horrible binging. I was always afraid I would get caught. Horrible, horrible memories for me. I'm glad those days are behind me. It wasn't an easy habit to break, but it was ESSENTIAL in order to lose the weight.
Oh My! I was a hidden snacker with candies and leave the wrappers hidden in my drawer. My family had caught me in the act of my sweet addiction behavior. They don't understand why I do that, and even myself don't know why. I have stop buying my own secret foods because of money issues,and not being faithful to myself and others who believe me that I can achieve my weight loss efforts.
I don't have kids, but have a younger sister that can eat any sweets food and not gain an ounce. The hard part of not eating her late night munchies when her munchies are near the computer area. She hides them and sometimes forget to put it back in her storage. She gets so upset and now I just don't bother hidden eating. A lesson learned on my part when I hidden eat when I buy it or not..of not eating my family junk foods..They have a fit when I do.. It is not worth it!
In fact, so many times I would stop off at a fast food place and eat ... then get home about two hours later and then pretend I hadn't had dinner. How sick is that?
I also used to hide my junk food. For me, it was an issue of boundaries. I didn't know how to tell other people no, I didn't know how to deal with conflict, with being able to draw the line with others. But when I started learning how to do that, my secret eating became less and less.
I still am tempted, but it's no longer a driving force.
I remember growing up that I would find candy wrappers hidden under the front seat of my mother's car. She would deny eating them, but of course I knew better.
I started hiding food when I was young because I wasn't supposed to eat certain things and my mother would get on my case about it. Of course since I had to hide that stuff it became taboo and therefore more desirable. Not limiting myself has helped me to not crave things just because I can't have them.
I think I also hid my eating because I wanted it to be just the two of us - me and Ben & Jerry's (or is that the three of us? ) It was far more intimate that way and turned the eating into a different type of indulgence.
Oh yeah. I don't know how many times when I was little, I would sneak into the kitchen "for a drink" and snag food too.
As an adult, I still did it. I wouldn't clean the kitchen until after my husband went to bed. That way I could eat the leftovers from dinner without him knowing. Then, because he was asleep, I could grab a bag or box of whatever and plop on the couch to eat it until the weeee hours of the morning.
I'm getting much better. When I first started trying to lose weight, I'd just go to bed with him even though I wasn't tired, so I wouldn't eat. I'm finally to the point where I can stay up without him and not binge. I allow myself a small snack if I'm really craving, but most nights, I don't need anything!
Hidden Eating
) It was far more intimate that way and turned the eating into a different type of indulgence.
