Thanks, momwannabe. I did not take your advice in a harsh way at all so no worries. I agree with what you said. I believe in myself... around people I know or feel comfortable around. lol I rarely put myself in the position of having to spark up conversations with total strangers so this isn't something I feel very often. I just worry about it now that I know my life is changing so much and I will likely find myself moving to a new town/state and having to meet people. I know I can do it though, I was a very social person years ago.

A friend of mine went on her first date after her fiance left her last fall (they were together 6 years). She called me a couple days later crying saying that somehow this guy broke her heart. I have to admit I kind of chuckled because he is 26, lives with his parents and didn't seem all that impressive to me but I was supportive. She put all her hopes and dreams into this guy and I can see myself doing the same thing. I am so glad I plan on taking this year to focus on me and not dating in any way!

Momwannabe, thanks for the warm welcome! It's good to know that there are others with the same dilemma in our 30's. I guess misery does love company. :(

KayNicole - I have a tendency to do that as well with guys that I date. He could be the "biggest loser on the planet" but I'll still give him multiple chances to stick around. And even after I've seen plenty of red flags, I still let them hang around until I think enough is enough. I am going to keep trying to date, but I need to realize when the dude is a dud. (Chuckles at my corny a** joke - Kay I have an odd sense of humor as well!)

Also Kay and PrettyMom - I don't know if it's already been suggested, but have you tried meetup? I have relocated as an adult and needed to make friends, I've found some pretty decent girls through a few of my meetup groups.

grneyed- Yep, I am exactly the same about guys. That's because we aren't quitters... lol But yes, I also need to figure out when enough is enough and cut my losses. When the time comes I will be using meetup and all avenues of meeting new people. I know I am the kind of person who needs a support group and good friends so its a must for me.

I am a fan of the meetup site. It took a few tries to find the right group for me but I am now part of two great groups. I did not find the singles focused groups to work for me. I am instead meeting with a group of people that enjoy arts and culture events and another that likes coffee and networking.

I have the opposite problem with relationships. I am quick to walk away. I am working on not sweating the small stuff. There are still deal breakers like no smoking (I am asthmatic) and must be single (no married or other wise involved men), gainfully employed is nice lol. I do not tolerate meanness or much drama... I always think if it is not going to work why linger with the wrong one. Keep looking for the right one. I am sure you can see why I am still single...

It is the weekend! Do you have any big plans? I am working, apartment hunting and spending time recommitting to my plan. This past week was very busy and I did not make the best choices. This weekend I plan to cook and shop and prep food for a successful week.

LOL I worry about being that way when I start dating again. I am getting to the point where I don't feel like I have much time to waste on guys that don't seem right. Hopefully I will find a happy balance.

grneyed- I tried meetup years ago when I moved out here but didn't see much in my area, I am pretty sure it is bigger now though. I was just thinking this morning that I wish I had people to invite over (more than the 2 or 3 friends I have now) and thought of your suggestion. I will have to take another look.


This weekend is the big move out weekend for the soon to be ex. I am going to help him with big things tomorrow. I have had an emotional 24 hours though and I didn't expect to get emotional until after he was gone so now I am a little worried about how the weekend will go but I am still eager to get through it.

I hope you all have a great weekend!

Kay- Good luck with the ex's move out. It is one of those days that is bound to suck.

My last relationship was such a disaster, that I decided to take a very very long break from dating. My views on people in general changed completely, and now I have a very hard time trusting people. I think I am ready to give the whole dating thing another try, but I feel like I need to lose some weight first. I feel very insecure dating at this weight.

Kay - I hope your ex moved out without too much drama.

5aday and prettymom- thanks, it started out as an emotional weekend but I got over it pretty quick. He got out with no drama. I was supposed to help him move the big stuff but he told me as we were loading the truck that he has a little body builder buddy who offered to help him unload the truck if I didn't want to help. So woohoo! Of course after pulling out all of his big things he left a path of destruction so I ended up staying home cleaning up. I literally didn't even wait 10 minutes before I moved my new table into place and hung a picture where his bookshelf had just been. So overall it went well but he is getting the very last of this things out this morning and when I get home today it will be the official point that he is gone and not coming back to stay. But I will be off shopping and have plans for most of the week so I hope to keep myself occupied.

I hope everyone is doing well and making it through another Monday.

Good morning everyone!

Kay, it's good that the 'move out' went over fairly well. Hope you enjoyed your shopping trip too. :D

Prettymom, I understand and feel your pain. I was dating someone I met about a month ago. Last night he told me that he wasn't really looking for a relationship...so here we go again. I don't know why I even bother dating...I feel like I should just give up because it just seems hopeless.

Well, here's to a good day, I'm going to try and stay positive and not let the conversation with the guy send me into a depressive funk.

Does anyone else find it hard to focus on more then like two or three big things. For example my job takes a lot of my time and energy. Dating requires time for going out and getting presentable and looking for someone worth spending anytime with. Of course successfully losing weight is time consuming. Now add to that I am moving. on the plus side it will just be a few miles away and I found a great apartment on my first visit. But I am now trying to do it in 30 days flat rather then taking a few months... my landlord is showing my current apartment and I am packing and cleaning. Jeez, I just want a nap or chocolate or the company of a good man... oh well break time is over so get back to cleaning the stove...

overwhelming times
 

Hi there, I'm new to the thread and returning to 3fc after letting almost exactly the same thing happen to me and I let it completely stall me out and then regress. I totally understand what you're going through.
I got a job 40 minutes down the road with long hours and a huge canteen full of vending machines, slowly let my workouts slide and my healthy eating go completely away as I was so tired from work and the drive. I got a new apartment and was moving myself in over the course of a month staying between the two places where the thing I needed never seemed to be in the right location. I ate junk food and didn't run or go to Zumba.
And I was dating, like out on the market dating which meant lots of first dates... sighs.
I "only" went from 160 to 179, but regained a size and a half around my middle and lost all my hard earned tone (which makes me feel like it's actually another 15 pounds) Hindsight being 20/20 I would have used exercise as the stress release instead of food.

It all settled down after 6 months, and I regret not making myself at least get out and walk once a week to keep some momentum. I did find a nice guy who is into running and has just restarted P90x (he's a naturally slim guy that wants to bulk up so his nutrition needs make me stare at him like he's an alien).
I recommend dating "fitness style". Coffee while you walk in the park, a jog, a bike ride, hike in a nature reserve if there is one in your area. You can get some exercise in and screen the guy for the healthy lifestyle you want to live.

In summary... grins. You can juggle it, just don't lose your momentum, it doesn't have to be as hard as you are working now, but don't let yourself forget your goal!

Hello my fellow singlets!

5aday- I am glad I am not the only one. I hope the moving is going well!


So I was invited to an F Valentine's Day party this weekend. It will just be a few ladies who have recently become single. I am looking forward to it.

I am new to this thread, but definitely not new to being single. I feel like I have been my whole life.
I always figured as some people have said it would just happen. I would meet someone and blammo. But it didn't happen. I live in a small town where it seems like everyone knows everyone (though somehow I know OF more people than I actually know). I really thought by this point in my life I would be in a different place, but here I am 35, and never in a real relationship.
I've struggled with my weight for nearly my entire life, and I have all the self esteem issues that go along with it. I'm lucky to be close with my family, and have them live close by, but as my parents age, my niece goes off to college and my sister moves on, I find I don't really have much else.
I've tried on-line dating and in the nearly two years, I've been on a total of 3 dates, none of which amounted to a second. I'm tired, and happy to have found a group of people that understand what I'm going through.

So glad to see i'm not alone! I felt really sad after my last breakup, and then i was trying online dating which sucked. Finally i decided to just forget about dating and focus on myself. I'm just going to work on losing weight and getting fit. An added bonus of not dating is that i don't have to figure out how to fit the dinners and drinks into my diet. I really hope i meet a good guy someday though. I don't see that happening anytime soon though...not very optimistic about the whole dating thing right now.