[swingchick]

So, my friend Kelly and I lived together last year, and were fairly close at the end of the year. However, this year, she's been much more close to her boyfriend and we've drifted apart. Basically, I think her boyfriend is a pushy jacka** and figured that I would rather not spend time around her than have the stress of dealing with him.
But she is the president of the swing club I'm in (one of them, the other one is also a good friend), and had decided to implement some changes suggested by members at a meeting this past week. Fine, I have no problem with that. All I asked was that she keep the cost of the notebook she was buying to under $10: the budget for the semester had already been allotted and I didn't want to shortchange someone.
She seemed fine when I told her that yesterday afternoon, but her boyfriend jumped in yesterday night saying that $20 isn't that much... I agree, but when people already have been told what they have to spend, I can't take that back. She insisted on seeing a budget and I said I would get it to her after spring break (I leave Thursday to go home, and have been spending less than an hour a day at my apartment). Her boyfriend insists that that is unfair and that they want a time that they can meet me to do this before then.
I'm sorry, but I'm a student and have to get my schoolwork done first, then pack, then this would be a priority. But he was acting as though it was his right to get it (he is not a president, nor on the admin team).
I'm not trying to be unreasonable, I just won't have time to look till then. If spring break weren't in the middle, I could have had it for her in a week (which is what the bylaws ask for).
Then I get home to a PM on our group forum from her saying I've been antagonistic all semester and that it seems like I'm trying to compete with her. All I've been trying to do is avoid her boyfriend- I've tried to keep the same tone as always when I talk to her! I've got no reason to compete with her!
It's just so aggrivating! Makes me get all stressed out (which is what I was trying to avoid)!
But I am not going to let this anger make me binge (any more than it did last night- it was two and I couldn't go out to do anything, and really wanted some way to express it- but it is a new day). Sorry for the rant, but I really needed to vent about this, and my friends would be put in a very awkward situation if I did this to them. Thanks for listening.

[PunchBuggy]

I'm sorry to hear that! I hope it all works out in the end. I totally agree with you though and you have every right to vent. Her boyfriend needs to back off and she needs to act more responsible towards these kinds of things. That's what I think. Hopefully she'll come around. Keep your chin up!!

I'm gonna have to try that swing dancing sometime! lol

[swingchick]

You should definately try swing dancing! I love it!

I decided that it wasn't worth caring what she thinks anymore. I sent her the budget last night after 11 when I was done with homework for the day- I had to find it when I was tired, but I don't want to stress about it any more. I'm just pissed that she is letting her boyfriend completely change who she is, and that the only person she seems to be taking it out on is me (this is the second run-in of this sort: the first one was the reason I backed away in the first place).

I really appreciate the support. I just get sooo stressed out about things like this, even when I know that there is no way I can change the way someone else is acting. I wish it didn't affect me so much, or that it happened when I could turn that negative energy into a positive (like going to the gym).

If I thought it would help, I would seriously consider quitting the financial officer position, but I know that my work would just end up getting pushed onto the other president, who is a friend of mine, and I don't want to do that to him.

I hate situations like this! But I am NOT going to let it get to me any more. This just proves that she isn't a person who's opinion is worth caring about anymore.

[Daisy Boo]

i feel for you and completely support your vent. it sounds like there is a lot going on that is getting you down but you sound like you are in a positive frame of mind despite that.

is there no chance to talk to her when her boyfriend is not around? although it sounds like he is constantly there. perhaps mention to him next time he butts in that he can join the club if he wants a say in how it works.

i hope she comes around

[swingchick]

Any comment to her about him is automatically taken as a criticism. Plus, he and I have had another falling out, so it would be even more easy for her to believe it is just me. Unfortunately, I feel like I have to just write her off as a friend.

He was one of the first people offered the job as president this year, and turned it down. At the beginning of the year, she said that he was bitter that she was doing it. But now she defends everything he does, even when the comments weren't an attack.

I wish I could say that I hope she will come around as well, but I just don't think it's going to happen. I'm just trying to find ways to minimize their impact on how I act and feel.

Thanks so much for the support. It's good to hear that I'm not reacting totally out of line.