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Old 05-27-2016, 12:35 PM   #1  
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Location: Northeastern, PA
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Default Life on Hold

I've been on and off this site for years now and I find myself back in a place where I need the support I found here a few years ago. I think I just need somewhere to get my thoughts out and maybe hear some feedback. In 2012 I lost 70 ish pounds and got down to 180 (the lowest I have been since I was 12) but between 2013 - 2016, I put 100+ pounds back on. I, currently, weight between 298 and 310 (depending on water weight).

In the past several years, a lot was going on with my life (very sick father - who passed away in March 2015, an estate fight and mounting personal debt) and I just couldn't keep the weight off. I HAVE had some good things happen including getting engaged and moving in with my fiancee. Extremely recently (two weeks ago) I was diagnosed with severe depression and started taking medication so some of the clouds are lifting but a lot of the reasons are still present.

I am lonely - we have no local friends and I spend a lot of my time home alone (Fiance works 2nd shift - 2 pm - 10 pm MWF and 8 to 4 S/U) so it's pretty rough. I'm trying to look into way to make friends/activities to do/etc but we live in a college town (and I work at the college) so I can't mix a lot with the students. We are also struggling with money - we owe a decent amount of debt because his previous car just sucked in money like it was nothing - so we don't have the funds to spend to do things that involve people in the area (bowling league, climbing gym, yoga studio). I'm also afraid to put myself out there for some of these items currently because of my weight. I LOVE indoor climbing but I weight 300lbs - the idea of having someone "spot me" freaks me out at that weight. We've also pushed our wedding back a year and are not thinking of cancelling it all together/eloping (even though we both want an actual wedding because we don't see how we can afford it. We are both super fun people but we seem to exist in a people our are desert (25 - 35).

My fiancee and I did join a gym together but his schedule makes it challenging to find time to go together and I can never seem to find the same motivation to actually GO work out alone. The same goes for my eating habits - I am trying to so hard to get them back under control but I last for so long and then - bam, I'm stuffing my face.

I don't know if I have a question but I'm just look for some support.

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Old 05-29-2016, 01:30 AM   #2  
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Hi! Have you ever thought about joining a roller derby team? I'm sure there is one in your area and fees usually aren't too bad (but each league is different). It is a great work out, you like automatically get a ton of friends/teammates/sisters, and it is great for people of all different sizes. It also sorta forces you to go work out, because there are scheduled practices. It is challenging, addictive, and super rewarding. The vibe is that of a sisterhood- plus you get major street cred for being a total badass. :P
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Old 10-07-2016, 11:10 PM   #3  
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I get it. I reached my goal weight around the same time you did and was feeling wonderful about my body only to regain everything and more. I also have issues getting myself active (which is ridiculous considering that I used to be a division 1 athlete...) and with portion control. The one good thing about having lost and regained is that we know we can lose weight. We've don't it before. When you go to the gym, do you have a plan? Something that helps me is to have a target to hit and a specific exercise each day. I also like routines for food. I can't deal with intuitive eating. I eat too much. Plans for me are essential. Sticking to said plans is what proves difficult.
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Old 11-08-2016, 12:08 AM   #4  
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When it gets to the point where you feel like stuffing your face you need to stop and ask yourself, "Is it really worth it." That feeling of wanting to stuff your face is the little monkey inside you saying "FOOD NOW." You need to be the rational human being, step back and tell your monkey, no. Remind him of your goals, and how you will feel miserable after those 10 minutes of face stuffing. Stick with it. Motivation is fleeting, but discipline is not. Have discipline, and discipline your monkey.
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Old 11-08-2016, 07:17 AM   #5  
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You sound super stressed, and you probably should, you have a lot going on and a lot to juggle. I was roughly on the same boat last year, Money problems, family problems, too heavy to do all the cool things I wanted to do, all my friends live a distance from me but I don't have the money to go see them, I was at university, but everyone in my class was young and I was 27. The only plus I had was, I was single, no extra pluming to maintain.

What helped me out was actually a few sessions at counselling, it really helped me with stress management and to clear my head of all the trash I shouldn't of been stressing over. It helped me create a list of things to fix, pay a little here and there to the debt people so that they kept off my back. I graduated university with a great score. I moved back to my home town so that I could build up a friendship with my mum . I expressed my feelings to people a little more so that they knew how I was stressed out, I was also then letting myself know that it was ok to be stressed. After a long list of things I changed, I felt much better about looking after me! Only then was I able to lose the weight.

I suggest if you felt you would benefit, to do the same. I have lost nearly 40lbs through changing my diet ALONE! I started at 323 and I am now 285 and while I do the odd core exercises with resistance bands at home, as well at walking the dog for 20 mins a day, I am a home office worker. I will start doing a cardio class and a strength training class after Christmas as I will of lost 50lbs by then, and I will be toning the heck out of my body

Just take baby steps in the right direction and you will start to see results. 1lbs a week is a perfect loss rate, you didn't put it all back on in 6 months, so take the next 2 years to really change your lifestyle around and make it sustainable once and for all

You can do it!
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