The last few months have been a ROLLERCOASTER of emotions. I have had experiences ranging from my dreams coming true, to my heart being broken, to extreme anger to stress to absolute bliss- and I have dealt with most of it by comforting myself or celebrating with food. For the last few months I have slowly gained back 20 of the 30 lbs I had lost-- I know it could be worse, but I have been aware and "trying" to stop it-- but letting excuses get in the way,,, and what terrifies me is not being able to put the breaks on the gaining. I don't even care if I lose at this point, I just want to maintain for at least a month or two before I re-evaluate and it has seemed so difficult lately ...
I know that's something a lot of people experience- but tonight was a little different. I had ANOTHER "screw it, I'll start tomorrow" day- and after completely pigging out I got in the shower and the part of me that I thought was LONG gone came back... I purged.
this cycle has to stop NOW.
I used to visit this site all the time and had friends here who's names I recognized, but I thought that I had my weight and eating under control and I stopped. But now I see that I leaned on this site for support more than I realized, and I'm back to give and get as much love and support as possible.
I'm starting now. Not tomorrow- not January 1st. And I amaking a commitment to anyone who happens to read this post. No more treating my body like crap. God gave me this amazing body as a gift and I have not been acting bet appreciative of it lately- so, here goes.
It's amazing how great it feels to get that out there to SOMEONE who might understand...
Confessing and committing to getting back on track.
