[delmarva]

If it is any consolation at all, it can get a lot better. I was bulimic for 25 years. Til it stopped (significant hiatal hernia - described above). Stopped completely, no exceptions. (If you read about burst hernias and fundoplication repair surgeries and complications it will make you sick). That was 8 years ago.

It got me on the path to real wellness.
Yes, I gained weight for the next 5 years. Heck, I had to learn to eat properly and re-wire my brain on how to learn to be full. Then, I started getting an 'APPLE' shape as perimenopause kicked in. Started gaining some metabolic x syndromes (rising triglycerides, fatty liver, etc)

But, with that second scare with the liver, the weight started coming off. Maybe being in true menopause made it easier?? Cutting out sugar didn't seem so hard. The weight slowly dropped. I added a lot of exercise, and my skin (formerly oily and pimply) started to simply glow. I could now model skin care products --- something I never could have EVER BELIEVED!

It can get better. Really. Even your internal organs can heal. My liver problems are reversed. My hernia/GERD is under control through diet alone. Strength training over 10 years actually reversed bone density loss. Acne is gone. Skin is beautiful. Knee pain is greatly reduced.

There is HOPE.

[belovedspirit]

Originally Posted by SparklyBunny

Sometimes I think about all the damage I've done to myself, but since I can't change past actions, I look for the good in it.

The good for me is that when you've been through things that have been hurtful and you've been able to pull through to a point where you're actually able to reflect on it and forgive yourself, then you'll have so much compassion for those who are struggling. And we all do struggle in one way or another. The human experience isn't exactly a picnic! When you have compassion in you, you have the kind of beauty that you can't get the easy way. You're human, not plastic, and that makes you so much more valuable and powerful. It's too bad that most people have no idea how valuable and powerful they actually are.

Thank you for sharing this.

[belovedspirit]

Originally Posted by thewalrus0

I know it's not good to think those things but I look at my skin and I think about my organs and how I've just been so cruel to my body. I'm only 22, but I'd say from age 12 I have been just actively hurting myself, in all sorts of ways. When I was young it was anorexic and bulimic tendencies to lose weight, then after I lost some weight it became about alcohol, cigarettes and drug abuse, and then it again became about food only in my adulthood it was binge eating.

I feel like, in my entire life, I've never once been healthy except for maybe the last 3 months of my life. Even when I lost weight before with calorie counting I would eat as much bad stuff as I could fit into my calories. Now I actually eat real food but sometimes I wonder what the damage is that I've done. :/

I guess it's never too late to turn it around right? I mean, that's what life is all about.

I know it's tough... I'm proud of you for trying to find new ways to think about it and for taking care of yourself. That's the best we can do, and you're doing it. Way to go!

[Radiojane]

This is a great thread. I've worried about this for quite awhile. The body does forgive though. I can see it in the improvements I've made already.