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Old 07-29-2013, 07:39 PM   #1  
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I'm falling into a trap.

My relationship with food, weight, and exercise is very mixed--on the one hand, I feel strong and in control because I can limit my portions and eat healthily despite temptations, but on the other hand, I hate myself when I eat anything more than I had planned (mind you, I absolutely LOVE food and eating).

Exercise also makes me feel amazing and on top of the world. I feel incredibly proud when I can push myself hard and get faster or stronger. But I detest feeling like I have to exercise or else I will gain weight, be fat and gross.

Logically this is crazy--I physically look better than I have in months. I know this and acknowledge the differences I see. It just doesn't seem like enough or nearly fast enough.

This isn't how I always feel, it's just how I'm feeling some days, today being one of those days. I feel chained to this lifestyle--rest days don't relax me, they just stress me out.

Sorry if this was depressing! A month ago, I felt very enthusiastic, but after about 10 weeks into this lifestyle change, I'm a bit burnt out.
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Old 07-29-2013, 08:15 PM   #2  
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I understand how you feel! Do you think maybe you're doing too much, if you feel it's not sustainable, something you can do in the long run? Switching to a little a little less restrictive diet and a less intensive workout/not working out as much might slow your results but in the long run be something that doesn't exhaust you mentally so much.

You've come along way though, congrats! Either way, be proud of where you are.
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:35 PM   #3  
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Oh dear. Poor thing. No matter how much weight we have to lose, we all fall into this trap of BEATING on ourselves when things don't go as planned.

The way I'm trying to approach things this time around is in a healthy, but unrestrictive manner. I plan to eat well, but if I have a treat, or slip up..? SO WHAT? I add in an extra work out, go for a jog, have a healthier dinner than I had planned on... whatever.

But most of all? I try to forgive myself. We can't go through life tearing ourselves to shreds every time something doesn't go according to plan. Life is messy, things come up, and food is especially hard to get right ALL THE TIME-- especially if you intend to have a social life, or eat a cupcake at some point in the next twenty years.

What is it about rest days that stresses you out? Is it the idea that maybe if you rest one day, you won't get back on the wagon? That the rest day might turn into two, three, four...?

At the end of the day, you need to make sure that the system you have in place is sustainable for the longhaul. This shouldn't be a lifestyle that you're "chained" to (I felt that way about counting calories the last time I lost 40 lbs... I promptly gained it all back, because obsessively counting 1,200-1,300 calories a day and barely exercising just wasn't sustainable). You need to find a lifestyle that you can stick to, because it feels natural, but is also healthy and maintainable. (This includes finding an exercise that you don't mentally catalogue as something you have to do to avoid being overweight--- something you enjoy, or at least don't mind! )

All of that said, as long as the scale is going slowly but surely in the right direction, you're making strides. You're kicking ***. You're SUPERWOMAN!

But try to remember: Most of us are here because we don't always approach food, eating, exercise or control in a normal/sustainable manner. Many of us suffer from self-perception disorders, or eating disorders. Sometimes the most amazing thing you can do is look for other people who feel the same way. Stick around.
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:45 PM   #4  
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I fall into this same trap. Feel good when I stay on track with my diet and exercise, but resent that I have to diet and exercise to lose weight. Get mad at myself when I mess up my diet or don't exercise enough.

My progress has been up and down, I went from 132 down to 124, and felt great heading toward my goal. Then I hit my TOM while on vacation, and am back up to 128. That is a 4 lb increase! I'm so disappointed and discouraged and back in the cycle of being angry at myself, resenting what I have to do to get back on track, and wanting to feel good and in control.

I think this happens for everyone, and i agree that the best way to fight is not to allow yourself to get mad at yourself. If you have a lazy day or a day where you eat poorly, don't get mad, just accept it in stride and know that one slip up will not derail all of your progress, or keep you from achieving goals.

Rumor has it, the more of a habit you make your healthy lifestyle, the easier it will be to maintain, and that resentment will go away. I'm not at this point yet, but I'm working on it.
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Old 08-01-2013, 10:54 PM   #5  
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Thank you everyone! I'm always very appreciative of the support on this forum

Quote:
What is it about rest days that stresses you out? Is it the idea that maybe if you rest one day, you won't get back on the wagon? That the rest day might turn into two, three, four...?
I guess I'm scared, scared that when I slip up, I'll fall back into old eating habits and not exercising and suddenly gain back the weight that I've been working so hard to lose. It happened to me over the course of last year when I went back to college after a summer at home and I started eating dining hall food again and getting wrapped up in studying/homework.

Quote:
Switching to a little a little less restrictive diet and a less intensive workout/not working out as much might slow your results but in the long run be something that doesn't exhaust you mentally so much.
Yes, this is a good plan. Sometimes I don't think weightloss is the hardest bit of the journey--at times, I feel kind of alone. I don't have a consistent workout buddy who will do the same exercise as me and my family isn't adhering to a strict diet like me.

Quote:
But most of all? I try to forgive myself. We can't go through life tearing ourselves to shreds every time something doesn't go according to plan. Life is messy, things come up, and food is especially hard to get right ALL THE TIME-- especially if you intend to have a social life, or eat a cupcake at some point in the next twenty years.
I honestly forget to forgive myself when I slip up. The devil on my shoulder seems to always advise me otherwise and believes that I don't deserve any kindness especially since I have only myself to blame for any failures. No one is making me eat anything, I'm choosing what to eat and how much to exercise (you would think the idea of exercise more and eat less would be obvious and easy, but the reality is quite different).

Quote:
Rumor has it, the more of a habit you make your healthy lifestyle, the easier it will be to maintain, and that resentment will go away. I'm not at this point yet, but I'm working on it
Considering the amount of plateaus I've hit over the summer, I think by the end of my weightloss journey, I'll be pretty good at maintaining (we'll see!). I'm still in the process of figuring out a sustainable lifestyle but I'm sure I'll learn eventually. Best of luck to you! It looks like you're doing great!!

Quote:
All of that said, as long as the scale is going slowly but surely in the right direction, you're making strides. You're kicking ***. You're SUPERWOMAN!
Quote:
You've come along way though, congrats! Either way, be proud of where you are.
Thank you :') but in all honesty, everyone else on 3FC is so much more amazing! I'm in awe of the amount of dedication and effort I see from other members taking strides to be healthier and stronger along with looking great!
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