So, I think a couple of you are a part of the "You're Beautiful" thread that I
started under Miscellaneous Groups, but for those of you who aren't, I wanted to
copy this post that I wrote:
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Yes, we use it to help measure our health, etc, but
I think we should all remember that the number can't
be the source of our "happiness". I don't know why
I started preaching, but I was just thinking about it.
I had a friend who was 5'5 and weighed about 135
pounds..I think she was in a size 6...and she was still
so focused on the number rather than her general
happiness and the way she looked and felt. I think
her true goal was like 120 pounds or something,
and it just seemed so ridiculous to me because she
looked great. I just think it's so strange that
after a while it became an obsession, which it
shouldn't have been.
When I went to my first WW meeting, they told me
that my WW goal weight was 134 for my height. Now,
I haven't been that weight since I was in 8th grade and
I don't plan to get that low. With my muscular frame,
I don't even think I'd look right. In high school, I was a
in track and field, toned, and 160 pounds in a size 12
which was great for me. So, I set my ultimate goal to
150 pounds (I'm 5'4).
Maybe I'm just frustrated or something, but I mean,
I'm in this for health mostly...I think my friend told me
that I'd be different once I started getting closer to my
goal. Maybe. Anyway..what do you think?
girlie.. all i have to say is that i totally understand on the friend thing.. my sister.. super skinny.. and is liek im so fat wah wah.. she's an actress... whcih is cool and all.. but of course she is body obsessed.. and i have another friend.. i'll call her..penny... she lost a whole buch of weight over the summer a few years back.. and when she got back to school everyone was telling her how great she looked... i knew that she was heading down the wrong path... she was anorexic, taking laxitives.. making herself sick.. not eating for dsays at a time.. so afraid of gaining any weight back... im tred talking to her.. the day i realized it was superserious.. is when a bunch of us girls went out for coffee... everuone wanted cheesecake.. a look of sheer terror came over her... we had a couple peices on the table.. everyone was just sharing and stuff.. and we were all liek have some have some.. she screamed.. started freaking out.. ran out of the cafe.. i had to chase her down... i was like.. what the heck?? (edited version) she was hyperventalating.. and sayign if she ate it she woul be fat again... it made me sad that she saw fat as the end of the world... it may feel like it sometimes.. but its so not...and i was like one bite won't make u fat again... needless to say she downward spiraled after that... she got sick, started losing her hair, her skin had a yellowish green tint to it... and no matter what.. nothing anyone said nothing changed.. she became super moody... and depressed and terrorfied of food. that is what im afraid of.. more than anything... ending up terrorfied of food. Ending up that screwed up. She has lots of other issues too.. but don't we all... weight-gain is not because we like to eat that much.. its over compinsating.. i know i do it.. and i know i like to eat. Im just afraid of becoming her. And u know what.. i can see myself doing that.. thats why it is so important to me.. that i do it my way you know... i made another friend promise to beat me if i ever even began down that road.
It scary... things we do.. things we become... when all we can see is that one thing... that one thing we don't want to be, or don't want to admit we are.
Things are ok. I haven't gained any weight, which surprises me considering the crap that I have been eating. I talked with my fiance last night and said that I felt that I had to hate my body in order to continue to lose weight. And I don't. Essentially I think I have a nice body, and when I get frustrated because the needle won't move because I can't stay OP, I start to attack my poor body. It's my mind that wacked, not my body. It's an innocent by-stander. I don't want to diet anymore. I told my man that the one thing I can totally stick with is exercise. I can't seem to monitor my eating because when I do, my mind tells me I want to eat fried crap and lots of sweets. And I usually don't crave those things, but it's like the second that I want to restrict it, there is a revolt in my brain. Does this happen to anyone else?
So, I have a plan this week. I am going to exercise everyday and let the eating take care of itself. I will report if this helps next week.
COngrats to all who are challenging and taking control of your eating. I wish I could be like you. When I take control, I feel outta control. So, I am playing reverse psychology on myself
I understand what you mean. It is very hard to do both, watch your diet
and exercise. But, you need to do what's best for you..if you can get
results by doing only one, then great. Remember that the point in all
this is to do SOMETHING! At least you're thinking about it. See, I'm
probably a lot like you. I think about it a lot and worry, but ultimately,
we can only do this when we, both our minds and bodies are ready to.
So if for now, your best is exercising, then great. Keep it that way.
Then, when your mind and heart are ready to start working on the
eating part, you'll have the exercising part down pat. No matter what,
you are working on your metabolism by exercising only.
Then, when you think you are ready, start with little things. Have you tried
an eating program like Weight Watchers? I'm not sure about the new
program, but when I was in it, you get a certain amount of points that you
can expend per day. If you do extra exercise, you get activity points.
It sounds complicated, but it was great. You could eat absolutely ANYthing
you want, just in moderation and keeping in track. For me, it was kind
of a game: how much can I eat today without going over my points?
Anyway, I'm talking to myself here, to get myself boosted up. Usually, I
can watch what I eat, but it's getting up to exercise...I wouldn't lose
weight or gain weight. It sounds like you are not losing or gaining either.
Something as simple as drinking diet, calorie free drinks and water only
can make a huge difference. There are many out there! Or,
if you want something fried, don't deny yourself of it. Have some
fries or a piece of fried chicken, or my big thing, egg rolls, but
cut down on it. Just little things can do a lot!
I hope I've helped a bit. Don't fret too much about the needle. That's where
people go berserk. Make it a rule that you don't check your weight more than
once a week or every two weeks. When you exercise, do cardio to
boost the metabolism. The elliptical machine is a great one.
Anyway, I hope you're feeling better. If I was you, I wouldn't focus on the
dress that you want to wear in October - focus on yourself. I found
that if I focus on a goal too much, I start to feel further and further
away from it, and it would show in my attitude. Just do what you can
and need to do...the goals will come.
Yes, it's a terrible thing. When I hear and see about those types of cases,
I honestly (YES, HONESTLY) am glad that I am the way that I am, all 200
pounds of me! Because I'm not crazy over everything.
To be totally honest, I wouldn't mind being my good old 180 pounds, rather
than my goal of 150 pounds...All I really want is to be able to fit into cool
clothes when I see them, which I can't do now and to be healthy. Ideally, I want to be in
a size 10 or 12. But you know, this world is so focused on image, that
we will probably always want more and more - only some of us will
be so obsessed that we go more and more when we don't need to to
be healthy.
ALL:
I was lurking in the teenage posts and it's so weird, guys...these young girls
have been losing weight, but some of the have exceeded their diet plan goals
and are going for more and more. For example, I saw someone in there
who was 5'6 and wanted to get down to 115. Healthy? Natural?
I don't know....but anyway, I hope I don't always want more...and go crazy
over it. I think women with a little meat on them are the most beautiful!
Like Kate Winslet
Girlie - thanks for your posts, they are awesome! You are so upbeat, good for you.
I have to say in response to the discussion about getting too obsessed with your weight - good luck to all, I hope you are able to be happy with your goal weight once you get there but speaking from experience I can say it's harder than it sounds. After years and years of being overweight and unhappy with my self image, I found it really hard to be satisfied even when I hit a size 6 because I still didn't have the "perfect" body. Even this morning I was sooooo depressed I almost started crying when I fit into my size 10 curdoroys (they used to be way too big). If I step back I say whoa, 2 years ago I would have given ANYTHING to be a size 10 and I would have kicked myself in the a** for *****ing about it now. And it's not like it looks bad on me - I am tall (5'9") and so the rational part of my brain knows I look fine. But of course I'm still not happy. I feel fat.
I know it's sick and twisted but hey, think about what we see in the media day in and day out. I just picked up the US magazine about Hollywood's obsession with losing weight - talked about girls like Drew Barrymore being asked to lose weight because she is too fat, and she has never been more than a size 8! Personally I never got to the point where I was frightened of cheesecake or anything that serious, but it does get to be something of an obsession. You start losing weight, you get to your goal, and then you find that you can keep going and get even skinnier than you ever dreamed possible. The problem is, it's never good enough - even at a size 6 I wouldn't have been caught DEAD in a bikini. For me, the issue now is I feel like a failure for gaining back the last 10 pounds I lost. But even if I were a size 4, I know it would be a struggle. My eye is trained to find imperfections when I look in the mirror. I guess you have to learn to retrain it, but that's something I'm still working on. No matter how many times other people tell you you look good, it has to come from within you or you'll never be satisfied. That's the hard part.
I think that society, and everyone in it has a way of damaging people. Glorify smoking, drugs.. and at the same time condem them, thin fat, drugs, war of the sexes. Everything. It's all pretty messed up. I look at Marilyn Manroe, in Some like it Hot... she was cuvy.. fat by todays standards.. but was a bomb shell... I would be extatic to look like that.
Its the strangest thing... really when u think about it, this whole thing. I agree Kate Winslet, Drew Barrymore, 2 of my favorite, and i personally think, absolutely beautiful, and when i hear people think they are fat.. i really begin to wonder... what the heck is wrong with this planet. These women have beautiful figures... and i think they are slim... i don't get it.
***
ok new topic... i totally can relate to those who were speaking of how once u make a decision to limit.. or ban something.. even it is something u haven't touched in ages.. boom.. im craving it like it was going out of style!
All i realy want out of this crazy thing called life... is a long healthy life.. filled with love and friendships... and money wouldn't hurt... but ... you know.. all kidding aside. I just want to find they place where i am happy with my body. Im not.. im actually quite mad at it at the moment.. i feel like it betrayed me.. hmmm.. maybe i betrayed it. i just wish i could back to when i was a kid.. and fix whatever happened... and whatever it was that made turn to eating as my comfort... i wish i could have just been... told i was beautiful then.. rather than.. you have such a pretty face.. but.. you just need to lose some weight. Now... if i could get back to the weight i was when i was 13.... i'd be estatic.. no..more than that...thrilled..over-joyed... but funny... how i want it now.. when i thought it was too much then... irony i guess... and i haven't gotten any taller sinse then.. so thats not it. I fugure if i was 8 feet tall i'd be ideal.. but im barely 5' tall... so im far... lightyears away from ideal.
***
on a happy note... i just want to say congratulations to everyone.. and stay positive and strong.
I had to write about the last few things you said. I went home at Christmas, 50 pounds lighter and some relatives marvled on how well I looked. I said that I was the same size I was in high school and all of you said I was too fat then. They shut up for a while.
I look back at high school and I was a bigger girl, but athletic. I made up my mind to be athletic again. It's making some difference in my brain.
My big thing is, like most of you, I've gained since high school...
All of my mother's side is in Japan and I've never met them, but
they, like my mom are mostly petite and pretty small.
My father's side, however, is all from the south where they
gorge you with food! ALL of the women on my dad's side
are large ladies, particularly, what they call the family butt...
I have it too! I remember at family reunions they used to
joke about it, but it's really sad. My dad's side is swarming
with diabetes!
My uncle called me yesterday and told me they are planning a
family reunion and I am determined not to go back there
only for everyone to tell me I'm looking more like the rest of the
family! The reunion is scheduled for October. I hope I can lose
40 pounds by then...my goal is to lose 59 pounds by my birthday
in December. Do you guys think that's an irrational goal?
I'm a bit depressed because I got down to 189 in September, only
to find that I am now 20 pounds heavier than that now.
I moved out on my own, bought a house and that just screwed
me all over! I thought things would be easier once I was
on my own, but they aren't! Especially since I'm in college and
work a full-time job...so I've stocked my fridge with convenience
foods like WW dinners and Kashi and fruits. Are any of you in a
similar situation?
Krista - you know, I noticed that you mentioned Coke a while back.
Do you drink diet? I think drinking diet soda and calorie free drinks
throughout the day is great because the carbonation acts as a filler
(for me at least). I love those 1 liters of calorie free bevs they
have at Wal Mart...no extra empty calories...
One more thing...
isn't it strange about body types? To me, 5'9 in a size six sounds
like heaven! I guess it is true that we'll never be satisfied...
unless we change our views I guess, like what you think
looking good in a bikini is, ya know what I mean?
It's so weird about body types. My friend was reflecting
about how when she weighed 185 pounds, she was in
a size 16-18 and at 200 pounds, I can wear size 14.
We're both 5'4. Bodies are all so different and
amazingly mysterious! I think we should all be very
proud of our bodies because they are unique. I
bet all of you have wonderful, awesome, unique
bodies that go along with your personalities!
I wonder what I'll be like when I reach my goal...
will I want more? Will I really be satisfied?
Like Princessphoebe said earlier..I want to get
back to what I was in high school, but even then
in a Jr's 11/12 I thought I was hideous! I guess
we'll see in December!
Girlie, I am in the same situation - lived with my grandmother for 2 years while I finished up school and I thought as soon as i got out on my own eating healthy would be easier - WRONG! I am working 2 jobs now, besides the fact that I hate cooking, so needless to say it is fast food for me almost constantly. Bad stuff! Those cookies in the cafeteria at work just kill me!
I hate diet soda but I am trying to learn to like it. I bought some of that pepsi one, it is ok, and diet rite is tolerable. Nothing like a good full 250 calorie 20 oz bottle of regular coke to make my day though! But I am trying to make a conscious effort to switch to diet. I hate to think how many calories I waste per week on regular soda. I know princessphoebe is with me on this one!
That's really great! There are so many calorie free drinks out there, i've decided that I won't drink anything but beverages that are calorie free besides soymilk and my Morning Blend Vit C breakfast drink. I mean, I'm not thin or anything, but I figure I wouldn't get any extra calories there, ya know? Plus, there are so many different brands that offer diet now! I was never much of a soda drinker, then I started, and now I'm hooked! Regular sodas taste so heavy to me!
I got home for my dinner break and my BF told me to sit down and he served me dinner, one course at a time! Each course was a different type of veggie mix including turnip greens! But then the dessert...an individual
graham cracker crust with a scoop of coconut cream pie filling and FF cool whip on top! The bad part was the graham cracker crust part...but I decided I'd to to the gym tonite after work now...I didn't plan to!
Oh well..hope everyone is great! Talk to you all soon!
I haven't been able to check in since Monday and I'm appreciative of all the support that I see happening in the chats I've missed. Just wanted to give everyone listening a "big picture" check, women and some men too, are very hard on themselves. The problem we have is with our esteem. Weight is the issue in this forum, but it could be anything. We see ourselves very critically and that distorts how we see ourselves from how we actually are. Repairing our esteem takes just as much effort as we're putting into eating right and exercising. If we aren't addressing that aspect of ourselves too, when our work has paid off and we reach our individual goals, we're still going to feel bad.
And girls, life is just too short to feel bad all the time.
So make peace with the women who looks back at you in the mirror everyday and this journey we're taking to reach our goals will go a lot smoother.
Thanks for listening-Chubs2
oh-yeah beware of low calorie diet drinks that contain a high amount of nutrisweet, ever see what it does to the inside of a plastic glass? And although carbonated water does give you a filling feeling it retains sodium, regular water is better
I feel bad for joining this board and then disappearing. Unfortunately the modem in my old PC died on me and I have been too busy at work to check-in. Luckily my new notebook came in the mail today!
Krista & PrincessPhoebe...
I can totally relate to the soda addiction. I practically grew up on coke. I never drank water. When I finally calculated how many calories a day I was drinking, my jaw hit the floor. Since then I try to be very conscientious about what I drink. I would much rather spend those calories on food than soda. Look at this way, cutting out coke during the week equals a splurge on the weekend. Now that I've been drinking water, I actually like it! Amazing!
Chubs...
You are right...I need to start taking my lunch with me to work. For a while I was doing that, and it really helped. And my wallet could use a little fattening up too! Sometimes I wish I still had a mommy to pack my lunch every morning. My goal for the coming week is to pack my lunch every night and to actually eat it the next day. In the past when I've packed my lunch, the where days when what I packed didn't sound good when it came time to eat it, so I'd get something else and not eat the packed lunch. Bad, very bad. That's where I need to use some self-discipline. I do however, take my breakfast each day (carrots, fruit and a big glass of water). It's much easier to eat what I packed when my body is still asleep and doesn't care what I put in it.
One thing I try to do when I'm tempted to eat something bad. I ask myself what I want more, to get in shape or to enjoy my favorite treat. My favorite treat only satisfies me for the short time it's in my mouth. But a great body I can enjoy 24/7/365! The only problem is taking the time to think before I stuff it in my mouth. If I think of a solution to this problem, I'll be sure to post it.
Well, it's time to get to stop playing with my new toy and get to the gym. Have a great night ladies!
I'm a new person trying to lose about 80 lbs (bought my first scale today -- thankfully I was about 15 lbs less than I thought, so I'm not discouraged yet). My goal weight is 160 (size 12). I'm currently up to 18/20
Are you guys having luck with any programs? I want to try something but there are so many to choose from. My big problem is Coke, juice, root beer, 7-Up -- any drink with lots of sugar. What are good low calorie alternatives? Diet Coke just isn't cutting it!
Reprise - Weight is just a number...
