I was just reflecting on the notion of sabotage... We familiar with that one??
I am.
I started my weightloss journey on July 1st of this year and I very quickly dropped the initial 20 pounds, and not because I was "just starting" and the first few pounds are the easiest, but because I worked for it. I worked really hard for it. I ate really well, only allowing 2/3 cheat drinks at Starbucks per week, I ran, I did a workout DVD, and I felt great about it!
After a few weeks my best friend called with the news that she's getting married and the wedding will be at a resort, on the beach, in February. So I think, this is great because even if my progress slows down, I will have no problems losing this weight in that time frame (weightloss for this wedding was essential because, not only was it going to be on the beach, but many of the people who will be in attandence are my friends from childhood, who haven't seen me in years, and most of whom are ridiculously blessed in the looks department... I don't care if I sound vain, but they only know me as the "skinny" me, and I don't really feel like saying hello, and knowing that they're thinking "wow! What happened to her?" I want to look go for it.)
Anyway, everything was going great! I was motivated, and successful, and then I stopped. Yep. I just stopped. I stopped doing all the things that were helping me be successful, and I don't know why. I went home (to see family) for a week in August, and when I came back, I just didn't do anything to lose this weight. I stopped running. Stopped using the DVD's. Loosened up on my diet...
I have lost weight since August, but I had put minimal effort into it. If I had only tried harder...
Wow! I could have been so much further ahead than I am, and its very frustrating!
Anyway, this brings me to today, and my little glimmer of optimism... Today I am accepting the fact that I had let myself down a little over the past few months, and I am moving on. Chances are that I won't be at my goal weight come this February, but I'm looking forward to being healthier than I am now, whatever that "number" will be. And life doesn't end with the February trip, because after that are March and April, other trips and new activities...
When I look on these message boards I am inspired by your stories and your progress. I look at some of your numbers and I see people who are just starting out, at similar weights that I was in July, and I remember back then looking at memebers who were at my current weight and thinking that even just getting there would be so amazing! And now, here I am, and I need to celebrate what I had accomplished so far. And I also look at memebers who are nearing my goal weight who had been where I am now, and I keep thinking that it's possible. If I just pick myslef up now, I'll get there.
Wow, this is beginning to sound really sappy. Sorry abou that
I'm just glad that I have this sounding board with people who get the ups and downs of weightloss.
Sabotage... Doing it to yourself...
)
