Thread Tools
Old 09-17-2012, 06:01 PM   #1  
Senior Member
Thread Starter
preetyladyserenity's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 543

S/C/G: 131/100/70 kg

Height: 167 cm

Default Conflicted about dating a guy.

I am really looking for help here so any help you could give me will be much appreciated.

I recently started dating a guy that is overweight. Now there is no problem with how he looks. For me he is the sweetest, most funny guy I ever met. I am really drawn towards him. Yet there is a problem.

He likes fatty food and junk food so the restaurants we has taken me are not of my fancy anymore. To be honest after 3 years of looking after myself fried wings and pizza just cause me indigestion and nausea when eaten in big quantities. In addition, I can't eat fried wings and burghers twice a week. It's going to undo everything I have accomplished.

Anyway I don't know how to tackle the matter and he has pointed to me I don't eat much when we go out, or that I only choose salad. I just don't know how to speak to him about this and whether I will offend him or hurt his feelings or have him think that I criticize him. I just want healthier options when we go out.

I don't know if I sound offensive or something... I mean I wouldn't mind if this was the kind of dinner I had once every 15 days but twice a week it's just too much!v Also I don't want him to think I am trying to change him or that I expect him to lose weight - this is not it.

I also don't know how to handle it cause all my previous bfs and dates were pretty balanced on where we would dine. This is the first time I am dealing with something like this. Am I horrible? Am I judgmental? I feel so stressed.
preetyladyserenity is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2012, 06:12 PM   #2  
waisting away
gatorgirl6's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Orlando
Posts: 893

S/C/G: Too Much/Ticker/Healthy

Height: 5' 8"


I would say exactly what you explained to us to him. You have to be able to talk to him about things that could be taken the wrong way. Just talk to him honestly.
gatorgirl6 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2012, 06:13 PM   #3  
keep going
LeilaJey's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,088

S/C/G: 176/ticker/140

Height: 5'6


I don't think you're being judgemental at all, what you're saying is that you want healthier options when you go out to eat and that is your right and it's completely reasonable. Most likely he hasn't thought much about it because what he's eating is normal to him.

Are there places you could go with more variety on the menu? I'm sure you guys can at least compromise but who knows maybe he'll want to try something healthier too. I don't mean this in a 'trying to change him' kind of way either, just that if the option's there it might be worth a try.

I think you should just be honest, that it isn't what you want to eat but that it's perfectly fine that he does. It's about you, not him. You're your own person and there is no reason that you have to eat unhealthy food for somebody else. Maybe just avoid over using the word 'healthy' as he could take that as a criticism of his own food habits.

Good luck!
LeilaJey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2012, 08:13 PM   #4  
Senior Member
ERHR's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Durham, NC
Posts: 578

S/C/G: 153.2/145.6/125

Height: 5'2"


Why aren't you picking out the restaurants half the time at least? He suggests where to go for one date, then the next time you can suggest a place. You can also cook together instead of going out - twice a week would be a lot for me.

Are you sure this isn't a money issue instead of a dietary issue? Is he paying for all of your dates?
ERHR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2012, 11:31 AM   #5  
Staying the Same
krampus's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Troy, NY
Posts: 6,448

S/C/G: 160+/116-120/maintainer

Height: 5'5


Does he know you're looking to lose weight and eat healthfully? I don't think that should be a secret or something you keep under wraps - I'm sure if he knew he would respect your choices and be supportive by choosing places with healthy options that are actually appealing (i.e. not just a Caesar salad).

Good luck!
krampus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2012, 12:52 PM   #6  
Senior Member
Katbot24's Avatar
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Saskatoon
Posts: 518

S/C/G: 230/ticker/150

Height: 5'8


He could be tying his insecurities into you eating with him. When I was not caring what I ate, I would pressure my fiancé to eat unhealthy food with me so I didnt feel so bad about eating unhealthily. It made me feel better to be eating with someone, more "normal"

I feel it's a red flag that he seems to be getting annoyed at your food choices. No one has the right to comment/insist on what you eat. I might be concerned is guy may have controlling tendencies.
Katbot24 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2012, 01:32 PM   #7  
SoMuchFattitude's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 862

S/C/G: 325/240/175

Height: 5'5"


Personally, the bigger concern for me would be that he has such a different lifestyle than my own and how that would play out in the future.

Is food the only lifestyle difference? If so, just address that you don't care for the food he does and you'd like to find some places to eat where you both can enjoy yourselves.
SoMuchFattitude is offline   Reply With Quote

Related Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Utter misery MusicalAstronaut 20-Somethings 51 04-16-2012 03:47 AM

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:17 AM.

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to and affiliated sites.
Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.