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Old 05-29-2012, 05:40 PM   #16  
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Originally Posted by thundahthighs View Post
If it was me I'd wear a perfectly fitted dress that I adored and looked AMAZEBALLS in, and just as I reached her seat on my march down the aisle, I'd lean in and whisper: "How do you like my fat *ss now?", and then just keep walking.
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Old 05-29-2012, 05:40 PM   #17  
one pound at a time
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i'm sorry that she said that to you. her remark was both cruel and useless.

at least you know that you are doing the right thing by leaving her out of wedding dress picking. it's your right to keep distance from your parents, considering that they seem toxic and pain inflicting. it's okay to care for them from afar.
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Old 05-29-2012, 05:55 PM   #18  
keep going
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That's horrible, I'm sorry your mother would say such a thing.. is she really somebody you want in your life? I know it's difficult when it's your family but it's important to take care of yourself.
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Old 05-29-2012, 06:46 PM   #19  
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when mom folks say something that hurts or p!sses me off I hold a mirror up to them (not an actual mirror )
I repeat what they just said that hurt me an than, thats a supper cruel thing to say to someone you love, its a good thing I grew up hearing such hurtful statements from you regularly or you may have just damaged our relationship....altho it would be nice to for once not dread visiting you...

lol, its a way to repeat what they said so they can hear what fell out of their mouth/ throw a jab back at them/ let them know you wish things where different

but sadly some folks just dont change or grow
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Old 05-29-2012, 07:21 PM   #20  
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I'm so sorry. It is absolutely INSANE to me that a mother would say such a thing to her daughter!
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Old 05-29-2012, 08:14 PM   #21  
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Why put yourself through this? Cut your mom out of your life. There is no reason to subject yourself to this toxicity just because you're related.
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Old 05-30-2012, 01:12 PM   #22  
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So I told my fiance about what happened and he said "that sucks..." before looking back down at his laptop. After being pampered with so much encouragement on the forum I was hoping for a little more than that. I sulked a little and then got over it.

Later that evening he sits down next to me and shows me this on his laptop:

He had emailed some boutiques to see if anyone had this to available to try on. I'm going this weekend to take a look at it with my "man-of-honour" and best girly friend. I'm not saying this is the dress I will pick, frankly I don't think my brain will ever be ready to be in something that slinky. But, the gesture really touched my heart!
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Old 05-31-2012, 08:18 PM   #23  
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awwww that sounds so much like my hubby ~ sounds like you have a keeper

glad to see that you didnt let her get you down for too long <3
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Old 05-31-2012, 09:14 PM   #24  
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Beautiful gown !
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Old 05-31-2012, 10:08 PM   #25  
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Post jaw dropper!

I love the bride shows on tlc, and they show a lot of frankenstien mamma's (I'm not talking about looks, either), but your story still dropped my jaw.
I know I'm not alone in agreeing with Thunda... maybe with one slight addition:
when you get to the good part: SHOW HER HOW ITS DONE!!!
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Old 05-31-2012, 10:35 PM   #26  
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What an evil woman, kudos to you for sparing her fragile feelings you are much stronger than what she is, and she's obviously jealous of something that you have going for you. Im sorry you have to go thru that
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Old 06-01-2012, 09:27 AM   #27  
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I'm not sure why you pity such an awful person. I would cut her out of my life if my Mum was like yours. What kind of parents don't want to see their kid get married?

You're right - they're toxic. So my advice would be stop allowing yourself to be poisoned.

You're beautiful, amazing and you're getting married. Don't let your self esteem be shattered by a horrible woman.
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Old 06-01-2012, 10:24 AM   #28  
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She is probably mad because you're in love and about to marry a wonderful man, money or no money. She probably regrets not finding more happiness for herself and now that you are doing it for yourself she can't stand it. You've already lost 10lbs (going by your info under your avatar) and she could probably tell that you're starting to lose weight so she went after you.
My mother can be negaive, but never just outright mean. You said they are not going to the reception, I would try to look on the bright side, she can't ruin your good time if she isn't there. I'm sorry that your own mother would be so mean. So sorry that you have to go through this, don't let it derail you tho.
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Old 06-01-2012, 11:33 AM   #29  
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Wow, that is an awful thing to say to anybody! It's definitely hard to just let go on these sorts of comments, especially when you are self conscious about your body image.

I think you're a very kind person for doing things with her because she gets lonely! If I had someone like that in my life, I don't think I'd be able to stick the awful attitude they have. She sounds extremely spiteful and childish. I would try and let what she said not get to you and just tell yourself that you are working at your weight and won't let people who say those comments get you down.

Remember, you are beautiful no matter what other people think!
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Old 06-01-2012, 02:14 PM   #30  
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That is terrible! But you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders.

Also, I kind of disagree with most of the posts on here. It isn't that easy to just "cut out" your parents from your life!!! All the posts kind of make it sound like that's an easy/obvious thing to do! Well I disagree. It's not easy to just abandon family even when they act/behave in less than desirable ways.

I actually like the post that said maybe each time she says something like that you could say something along those "Just so you know, comments like that DO hurt my feelings and I hear enough comments like that from the outside world believe me. It would mean the world to me if you could try your best to restrict yourself to only saying loving and supporting things to me"

In all actuality, her behaviour is unlikely to change. But at least you'll be sticking up for yourself. As well, many people have 'verbal diarrhea' and don't even realize how often they say hurtful things. I think it is important for her to realize how often she is putting you down.

As deep down I am sure she loves you and would feel guilty (even if she keeps that a well-hidden secret!) if you made her realize how much she affects your self-esteem.
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