[lifehouseluver]

Okay, so this might seem really weird, but i've now been losing weight pretty seriously since January, so I feel like I have to vent about this a little bit/see if anyone has gone through a similar experience.

I actually had a boyfriend of 1 year+, when I started this diet, but I broke up with him almost a month ago (for reasons that have nothing to do with my diet, but I won't get into those lol).

But it's weird, even though it was the both longest and most functional relationship i've ever been in, it didn't mess me up too much when it ended (usually I get really depressed, and my eating habits go straight to s***). Part of me thinks I was already mentally checked out of our relationship for a while from the issues we were having, but part of me (and this may seem selfish) was kind of like, "well here I am working on ME and MY goals." In other words, when our relationship ended I simply had something else to look forward to.

It's weird because usually when a relationship ends, I want that person back within days (or even minutes/hours lol). But this time, it kind of felt like a weight off my shoulders. I guess that since i've lost some weight, I have a new sense of both confidence and self respect which is pretty cool.

And now it's really weird because I really don't want to date anyone else. I mean, if someone comes along that i'm interested in, i'm not going to be like "sorry, i can't date you because i'm on a diet" but at the same time, I have been so set in my diet and exercise routine these past few months, that I really don't want anything messing with that.

You could basically say i'm afraid of meeting someone, which might sound stupid, but it's true. Does this mean i'm being too strict with myself and with my workout/nutrition habits, or do you think it's just me putting my goals first?

Thanks in advance to anyone who listened to my rambling. I appreciate any and all feedback, and I can totally take harsh truths if need be. lol

[nanook380]

There's nothing wrong with putting yourself first as long as it's within reason. When most of my friends had bf's, I focused more on my classes.

As long as your goals are within reason and you're not starving/harming yourself, I'd say go for you goal of being healthy and losing some weight.

There will be time to find someone new once you're at where you want to be in life. If you're not happy with yourself, you won't be happy just because you're with someone. So it's not unfair to take care of yourself first!

[melodymist]

you know what? GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!

I'm so proud that you didn't let this break up influence you negatively but that it turned out positive. Put yourself first, work on your goals and when the time is right I'm sure Mr Right will come along and you would want him then haha.

[Goody3shoes]

If you don't want to be tied down, don't be! If you find someone great, if not you have friends and 3fc to keep you company until your Mr Right shows up. Your ex sounds like a total loser and your way better off without him. I'm amazed and proud of how you've dealt with this situation. Your a strong person! Good luck with everything! As long as you are healthy, happy it doesn't really matter if boys aren't a priority. It's a great outlook that I wish a few of my friends could take a hint!

[MiZTaCCen]

I think you've become a much stronger person than you realize and you give yourself credit for. There is NOTHING wrong with putting your goals first. If you don't want to date, don't date who cares. Society makes a big deal with it comes to things like this. You must be married by this age, you must have kids etc...what they don't agree on is you must be happy with your life and your decisions. Are you happy? If thats a yes, and I'm pretty sure it's a yes then you know what. You're on the right track!

[krampus]

Goals first while newly single is the best way! As long as this doesn't go on forever and turn into "I really want a boyfriend but I should lose 5 lbs first" you're fine.

[Mama Bee]

I think putting yourself first is just fine! Focus on your goals and then set new goals. I did great with my weight loss before I met my now-husband... then I flopped because I wasn't paying as much attention to my own goals.

I have a baby and a husband now so I can't put myself first anymore... well my husband can wait, but my baby's needs cannot.

[ladyponies23]

I don't think you're being too strict. I think you're finally in a place where you can acknowledge just how important YOUR needs are. That doesn't mean you'll never date again- I'm sure if an incredible guy who was just what you needed came along, you'd go forward with pursuing a relationship. The important thing is that being so focused on your needs means you won't settle for a guy who isn't giving you what you need. I think you're in a great place.