Hi Jelbb!

I'm just starting out again too, I've been in 3FC since 2009 and I remember you. Sorry things have been rough for you, they have been rough for me too, but there are some great folks who will give you support, myself included.

I am going through a similar situation, I kind of realized my eating was out of control when I noticed the amount of food I was eating, like going through entire boxes of granola bars in a day. I had lost about 50 lbs and I had seen it creeping up gradually, but it really scared me into action when I saw 219 on my scale. Just imagining where I was before and where I was then weight-wise was enough to get me moving.

It was a huge step to come back in here though, good for you! I wish you the best of luck and hope for positive changes for you.

I too have a problem with balance and so related to your post. I have dealt with eating disorders, obsessive counting fat grams and calories to my hightest at 265lbs and binge eating.

Finding balance in anything in life is so difficult. But to do this right this time it's really not about the weight.

Cause if it was just about the weight there wouldn't be an issue right?

It's about loving you and accepting where you are right now, at any weight. Making healthy choices and becoming aware of the emotions you have that are tied to food. Noticing what you are addictied to (sugar, carbs, fat?)

Baby steps, day by day, sometimes second by second as you ponder eating that donut be kind to you no matter what choice you make and love yourself for ALL your choices. Even if you don't think they are the right ones, well keep going. Don't beat yourself up. You can do it right this time.

Facing your ups and downs in your weight are facing the fears you have and the stories you have told yourself in your head what you are all about. All the negative stories are not true. Face it, push through it with self love and your going to do great!

ETA and don't you dare hide away with a big mac and self loathe. Ok if you must try it with some awareness. Take a small bite and see how it makes you feel. Do you feel good? Or are you just going to keep feeding that negative emotion inside of yourself that your not good enough so you might as well stuff your face (sorry being so blunt here) How much do you want to change that feeling? Then love yourself and say "ok I know I'm binging, I love myself and I am aware of it" Once you become aware make conscious choice either put the big mac down and walk away or eat it while loving yourself. So you may eat it at least you told yourself your a lovey person while eating it. This breaks the pattern of self loathing, and next time you may actually find you don't need the food to nurture you because your doing it YOURSELF. xoxo