I made all of my tagged pictures private.. because there are hundreds from when I was 150 pounds heavier and I just felt that's not me anymore. I still get to look through them and remember what it was like and all. But I deleted all my old pictures, and now I just have more recent ones up. It's more for me than for others. Plus it's awkward when you meet someone and they see your old pictures on Facebook. Also, I don't like when people compare what size I was to what size I am. I'm just me, right now, right here. I don't compare myself to who I used to be, and others don't need to either.
When I find out that someone has lost a bunch of weight, I see them as a strong, powerful, capable individual. It takes courage and a significant amount of inner strength to lose weight- you know this, you've done it! We have enough people who judge us, we shouldn't be doing it to each other!
Cool, so really you COMPLETELY AGREE with me. When you see someone who was fat but is now skinny, you make an assumption about that person. I don't want that happening, regardless of whether those assumptions are good or bad.
I wasn't saying that my assumptions were right, just that I make them, and that everyone else does, too. I would never expect everyone to make the same assumptions I do, but my weight loss is one aspect of myself upon which I want NO assumptions to be made.
Mama Bee, Sunshine87, sweetsmmr91 -- I am glad to know I am not the only one that has these thoughts.
Last edited by AnonymouslyYours; 08-09-2011 at 07:30 PM.
Those things I mentioned aren't assumptions- they're true! The weight loss is the evidence. I'm just saying that losing weight isn't easy, it doesn't happen by itself and it doesn't happen to people who aren't purposeful and committed to change. This however doesn't speak to the entirety of a persons character, or automatically make them a good or bad person.
I guess I'm a little confused by your posts- you don't want others to make assumptions about you, but you're OK with the assumptions you have about others? I'm not trying to be snarky, maybe I'm misunderstanding? I know that being overweight, we have ALL had negative assumptions made about us and we ALL know how much that sucks. I guess I'm just thinking that since we know this, we know how hurtful it can be, so we should try to avoid it at all costs. Like you said, of course we all have our assumptions/biases/snap judgements. That doesn't mean they are accurate or that we need to accept them.
Well, for starters, I think that in order to become very overweight, you have to at some point and on some level, not care enough about yourself to prevent it from happening. Also, I haven't been fat my whole life, certainly not for half of it. I know I went through some depression/self-worth issues and gained weight. I know other friends who just cared MORE about eating/drinking in excess. No real depression, but still put value on things before themselves. That is an assumption I make about everyone who has been extremely overweight. I am sure there are exceptions, but that doesn't change my perception of it being true for 99% of overweight people or people who were overweight. I don't think badly of them because of it, but it still in SOME way changes my perception of that person. I think that you guys are lying to yourselves or to me if you say that you don't make assumptions about people based on similar things.
I get on FB like twice a month to accept/deny friend requests, but I've also had my account for just over 7 years.
As someone who's part of the Fat Acceptance movement (yes, contradictory considering what I'm doing, I know, but I have my reasons) I find this offensive. You don't know someone's story and it's incredibly rude to judge them solely based on their appearance.
The hatred of overweight/obese folks and attitudes like this is what kept me obese for years. We're made to feel horrible about ourselves because we don't fit into society's perceptions of normal, so how could I feel confident enough to get healthy when society would prefer that I would be tucked away and out of sight?
It was only after I got into FA and the Health At Every Size movement that led me to learn to love myself for WHO I WAS. It was this confidence and love for myself that first pushed me to go to the gym even though I was obese. It was this love for myself that years later lead me to healthy food choices that have allowed me to drop 36 pounds. Had I not come into contact with these supportive environments I would still be my starting weight and possibly even more.
Those things I mentioned aren't assumptions- they're true! The weight loss is the evidence. I'm just saying that losing weight isn't easy, it doesn't happen by itself and it doesn't happen to people who aren't purposeful and committed to change. This however doesn't speak to the entirety of a persons character, or automatically make them a good or bad person.
I guess I'm a little confused by your posts- you don't want others to make assumptions about you, but you're OK with the assumptions you have about others? I'm not trying to be snarky, maybe I'm misunderstanding? I know that being overweight, we have ALL had negative assumptions made about us and we ALL know how much that sucks. I guess I'm just thinking that since we know this, we know how hurtful it can be, so we should try to avoid it at all costs. Like you said, of course we all have our assumptions/biases/snap judgements. That doesn't mean they are accurate or that we need to accept them.
I'm going to go ahead and say that losing weight does not automatically demonstrate strength of character, and those ARE assumptions, not facts. I know multiple people who used some 500-cal and shot diet to lose 50 lbs in like 6 weeks. Not exactly strength of character. I'm not trying to be snarky either, just saying that these assumptions get made. I'm not saying I'm right for making them, but that they do get made. How does this conflict with me wanting to hide one of the things that they are made on? I am saying we should accept assumptions are made, and either not care or try to limit the things that they can be based upon. This is really derailing the purpose of my original post.
Sontaikle -- Sorry, but I don't care if what I am saying offends you. I don't mean to, but they are my opinions and I did not seek you out and try to offend you. It offends me that you are encouraging people to accept being fat when it is incredibly unhealthy, but feel free to keep doing it.
Can someone close this thread? It seems like it's only going to cause feelings to be hurt, and the original purpose has been lost.
Personally, I understand exactly what the OP is saying and I don't find her rude at all.
I, too, have gone through and deleted a lot of my older FB pics where I was almost 50 lbs heavier for the exact reasons the OP has. Let's not be naiive about this. People DO make assumptions because of this. It doesn't matter if it is right or wrong. It happens. And I don't want people, such as a new guy I start dating or a possible EMPLOYER, looking at me any differently than they would if they hadn't seen the pictures. We all know that size discrimination happens. There's absolutely nothing wrong with trying to prevent that from happening.
To all of you who leave your pics up for the world to see, that's great. It's a personal decision. But to act like there's something wrong with a person for not wanting their weight loss displayed on the internet is just offensive. Btw, I'm not talking to anyone specifically...just throwing that out there.
To the OP - I hope that, as you grow up (you're what - 17, 18 tops?) and learn more about the world around you, you will learn to have some compassion and a whole lot less judgment based on petty, vain outward appearance. The world is a beautiful place when you spend more time marveling at it than judging it.
That said, if you're so worried about it then delete your FB page. I believe your original question was whether it can be done. Of course it can. You can delete your FB account anytime you like.
Well, for starters, I think that in order to become very overweight, you have to at some point and on some level, not care enough about yourself to prevent it from happening. Also, I haven't been fat my whole life, certainly not for half of it. I know I went through some depression/self-worth issues and gained weight. I know other friends who just cared MORE about eating/drinking in excess. No real depression, but still put value on things before themselves. That is an assumption I make about everyone who has been extremely overweight. I am sure there are exceptions, but that doesn't change my perception of it being true for 99% of overweight people or people who were overweight. I don't think badly of them because of it, but it still in SOME way changes my perception of that person. I think that you guys are lying to yourselves or to me if you say that you don't make assumptions about people based on similar things.
I get on FB like twice a month to accept/deny friend requests, but I've also had my account for just over 7 years.
No disrespect but you couldn't be further from the truth. If you look up facts/history you'll find that your "perception" (because truthfully it's a perception not a fact) that 99% of people who are overweight just don't care about themselves is in fact wrong.
Life gets in the way. People have kids, people have thyroid problems, people have genes that don't help make matters easily, people aren't educated about diet/exercise. There are MILLIONS of reasonings why people become overweight.
I wish you luck on your journey but I can see that you may have a relapse because it seems you are judging others. I only hope that you find peace and solace in yourself to not judge others and instead uplift them.
Good luck on your journey! I wish you nothing but success and KNOWLEDGE!
Last edited by Krizstyling; 08-09-2011 at 09:35 PM.
Personally, I understand exactly what the OP is saying and I don't find her rude at all.
I, too, have gone through and deleted a lot of my older FB pics where I was almost 50 lbs heavier for the exact reasons the OP has. Let's not be naiive about this. People DO make assumptions because of this. It doesn't matter if it is right or wrong. It happens. And I don't want people, such as a new guy I start dating or a possible EMPLOYER, looking at me any differently than they would if they hadn't seen the pictures. We all know that size discrimination happens. There's absolutely nothing wrong with trying to prevent that from happening.
To all of you who leave your pics up for the world to see, that's great. It's a personal decision. But to act like there's something wrong with a person for not wanting their weight loss displayed on the internet is just offensive. Btw, I'm not talking to anyone specifically...just throwing that out there.
I totally get your point. I don't think anyone was upset about her personal decision hon. I think they are moreso talking about her lack of understanding, her judgemental behavior towards other overweight beings and her rudeness. I don't think anyone meant anything about whether or not she wanted to delete her pictures.
LIke you said, that's a personal choice and I think whatever decision anyone makes on that, is a decision that is RIGHT for them.
1. People who see older fat pictures won't judge you. Unless they make the judgement of "Wow! Look at how much weight she lost! Good for her! She looks great now!"
2. It makes no sense to delete your current profile because even if you do, all of the pics of you your friends have posted will still be there. Untag yourself in any unflattering pics in friends' albums and delete any in yours. It will save a LOT of work you'd have to do if you built a new profile.
I'm leaving all of mine! I want people (new and old) to see me and how much work I did to go from where I was to where I will be!
It shows hard work and determination to make a life change like that!
People will be proud!! Plus, who cares! I don't want to erase my life, just change my appearance!
Some of my "fat pictures" are from the best times in my life
Couldn't disagree more. I was obese, I grew up overweight. At 5, 6, 7 years old it has nothing to do with caring about yourself. You're just following in someone's footsteps. I learned very quickly that food was a quick-fix for emotional pain. There are a MILLION reasons why people gain weight- I would say that for VERY few people it is as simple as caring more about eating then about themselves. I'm sure that some people find themselves in situations similar to yours, but I would argue that the majority have different stories. It's unfair to assume people are just like you and then judge them for it.
+1! People are overweight for a variety of reasons. That said, I'm sure it does change my perceptions or affect my opinions in some way, so I don't think your concern is totally off base.
However, if you are concerned, I would just change my photo sharing settings or remove pictures from FB instead of deleting your account. Bottom line-- its JUST facebook. It's not "deleting your life" as some people have mentioned. You still have the photos, but you don't have to share them with everyone and his brother. If you want a new start, that's perfectly understandable and YOUR CHOICE-- so take the pictures off if that's what you want to do.
I completely understand, when I look at my fat pictures I am embarrassed. I made my tagged pictures private and post my own recent albums and add pictures that I like that i am tagged in.
This also helps people from getting the wrong impression that you either party too much and from awkward tags while you are not logged in.
Philosophical arguments aside, what throws me about this post is why on earth would you delete your Facebook account just to disassociate yourself from some pictures?
Just detag the ones you don't like. Or turn off tagged picture sharing overall. Delete your photo albums. If you think your friends are going to re-tag or add new pictures and tag them, having a new account won't change that at all.
Finding and adding your friends again is going to be a much bigger pain-in-the-butt than changing your photo settings.
