Honestly I think wear what you want- I'm not going to say anything to anyone about what they're wearing. However, I think there is a line between appropriate and not, I guess it just depends on the situation. Personally I'll probably not wear a bikini ever again even when I reach my goal weight because I'm sure I'll have extra skin and tiger stripes that I don't want to share with the whole world. On my body also, I love the way one-piece suits fit and flatter my figure. And there are a lot of really cute one-pieces out there!!
If it's in fashion, you probably shouldn't wear it. Who do you think you are, anyway? Definitely not someone who deserves to be hip. And a fat person trying to be hip is just really sad. You must choose clothes that are in fashion enough not to be uncool, but not so fashionable that they're trendy.
I don't really care what other people wear. I care how I look in a bathing suit. Just this weekend I saw a girl on the beach in a bikini who was looking way better than me or my friend and she had alot more weight..
It wasn't a rant, it was a joke - illustrating the irony and "can't win" situation of all clothing expectations for the very overweight. There's absolutely no way to please everyone, because there are so many double standards for folks with any, but especially a lot of jiggle (While it was a joke - not a single one of those "rules" were ones I made up. And I'm sure many women here could add their own rules that they were raised with, that I didn't even think of).
There's a huge double standard regarding clothing for women with extra jiggle. And it's a slippery slope to boot, deciding that some women are entitled to be essentially 99.9% nude in public, while other women less blessed, are socially obligated to protect the community from the trauma of witnessing unsightly jiggling by wearing winter clothing all year round..
Of course, because "just a little bit of general fat" is considered unattractive, but for the most part, socially acceptable, but the obese are socially obligated to protect others from the horror that is their bare flesh, wherever it happens to be on their body. And if it's everywhere, there are many who will expect them to cover everything - or to stay in their homes until they reach an acceptable level of non-jiggliness.
Over and over again, you find posts on this site from women (many who are barely overweight) who spend all summer in full-length pants and long sleeves, because they feel obligated to protect the general public from the horror that is their jiggling. They're terrified of going to the beach or wearing a tank top or shorts when the weather is unbearably hot.
That people are so judgemental of obese jiggling does make many women (even non-obese ones who just think they saw some jiggle in their thighs or arms) terrified of going to the beach or the pool, or even outside their own home.
Yes, because God forbid a less than perfect body be exposed. While it's ok for a beautiful woman to wear practically nothing at the beach, a really fat woman practically has cover every inch, regardless of the weather or face scorn and ridicule.
And there's no acceptable and feasible solution. If you wear a bikini, you're too exposed. But you can't wear any style of bathing suit that will meet with general approval. If your thighs jiggle enough, people expect you to cover those thighs. If your arms jiggle too much, you're supposed to cover those too (even if there are no swim suits with sleeves - so you're supposed to wear a t-shirt or cover up over it). And if you're hugely fat, and everything jiggles -well you're not supposed to go to the beach at all, and ideally you should hide in your home until you've reached a socially acceptable size.
It's crazy that these messages are so ingrained that even though I feel I have the right to wear a tank top and shorts in 90 degree weather, the very thought of doing either makes me physically ill. I'd like to be able to wear shorts and a tank top in public on a hot day, but I can barely do it around my own home.
Even though I'm mentally able to say "I should wear what's comfortable and easiest to swim in," I can't follow through. Feeling the need (or even desire) to have my arms covered to the elbow - even in the hottest weather, even in the pool - that's just so ridiculous.
As a general rule, we're so opposed to jiggling that we don't care if a woman is physically uncomfortable - as long as she covers up anything that jiggles or "looks gross."
I look gross to many people. I could wear a burka and still many people would argue that I should stay home rather than walk around in public like I thought I deserved to or something.
I was trying to illustrate why so many overweight women (and women who just think they are) are so body-conscious and so fearful of going out in public at all - because there is no way to win. There's no way to escape the disapproval when you have unavoidable jiggling. If you swim with a normal bathing suit, you're disgusting, and if you swim in something that covers you, you're odd for not wearing a traditional bathing suit.
Got the joke....thought it was hilarious! You have a great writing style. It's all one big contridiction, and you nailed that on the head. The saddest part, and the truth, is that if you are overweight, you might as well just wear a sack. (eyeroll)
As long as it covers all of their naughty bits I don't care (overweight and skinny people both seem to have issues with this heh). People are free to wear whatever they want and I'm free to think it's tacky :-P
Ever ask a man what he thinks? Most don't give a sh*t. IF they like what they see, they'll look, if they don't they won't. It women who are like to judge more. It's women who tell other women what they should and should not be wearing and why or why not. It's women who (mostly) will make the snide remarks. In a perfect world, all I ask is I don't want to see your boobs or butt. Otherwise, you are supposed to be at the beach!!!! It's hot. Wear what you like. Cellulite, stretch marks, flabby skin, tight skin, fat jiggling- WHO CARES?!?!?!? Not me. I always eye down the lady in the (whatever) kind of suit that shows of her so called imperfections- why? Because SHE is perfect the way she is! She can change her body if she chooses, but she is woman! She is NOT airbrushed, not starved, she has marks to show she is a mom maybe, I don't know- but she is the one I like (not in a sexual way) because she empowers all others to show their perfect bodies too- not the airbrushed un perfect media version! She shows men what real women look like at all different weights, sizes and shapes. She shows we have stretch marks, cellulite, smooth skin, rough skin, wrinkles, freckles, moles, jiggly belly, firm thighs whatever she has, she shows the world. That is perfection. WEAR that bikini if it's hot outside!!! Wear that one piece if it's hot outside. Wear those shorts, skirts, tank tops, wear comfortable for the weather whatever you like clothing- just yes, keep your boobs and bum covered please- those my dear lady (and men) are for the bedroom.
Personally, you wear what you want and it's not my place to say anything to anyone. I do think that some suits are just over the top regardless of how large you are. I cringe at string bikini's/thongs/speeds and I've been to topless beaches before and wasn't a fan but I know that has more to do with my upbringing (rather conservative) than anything else.
I will say, though, that certain cuts/styles are simply going to be more flattering on certain bodies. This year I'm wearing a bikini because I could find one that fit me better than a two piece because I could get a top that went by my bra size so it was more supportive and I could get bottoms that covered up my lower belly (trust me nobody wants to see that!) but could show off my waist, which is at least decent. I have a one piece that certainly covers more but isn't very flattering due to the cut/fit/size.
I was in a water aerobic class once and there where a number of ladies who were very obese there. They all wore normal one pieces (no skirt, no sleeves or anything) and I actually thought the ones they had found were much more flattering than the ones with skirts because it didn't draw as much attention to the suit itself (I'm not saying there's anything wrong with the skirts but maybe it was also how these ladies didn't seem self-conscious either, who knows?).
Just like with any piece of clothes you're going to want to show off whatever part of your body is the best and cover the parts that are less favorable. Swimsuits certainly do make that more difficult but you can play with it to some extent (lower cut if you want to draw attention to your chest, two piece if you have a defined waist, higher cut thighs help elongate the legs etc). Some people are just better at finding clothes that work for them than others regardless of their size (and I'm not always perfect with this by any means...)! A bathing suit that fits your body well is going to be infinitely more flatter even on a larger size body than a horribly fitting one on a small body.
In the end I try not to be judgmental, especially, of those who are obese because I think it's just awesome that they are out there doing something active. Basically, my same opinion of when men/women going to the gym. They should be encouraged even if they're wearing a brown paper bag.
I wouldn't be brave enough, but heck yes, wear whatever you like. I know many overweight women who seem to think that the only choice for a plus sized swimsuit is one with a fake skirt, or wearing a ginormous t-shirt over it...anything to cover up a bit more. I went along with that for much of my life. I covered up with a giant t-shirt, long enough to reach my knees.
Then I made the decision to start doing Aquafit a couple weeks ago and had to find a swimsuit for the first time in years. The local plus sized store had three choices: normal one piece, gigantic one piece with huge fake skirt, or 'tankinis' - the separate long top and regular bottom, or fake skirt bottom, suits.
I picked out suits in my size of each type. I walked in the store convinced I was going to get one of the huge fake skirt monstrosities. I walked out with, to my surprise, a normal one-piece that shows off my cleavage to the point of being ridiculous. And you know what? I love it. I think it looks damn good on me, and anyone at the pool who gets grossed out by my cottage cheese thighs can go jump in a lake.
For me, this comes down to an issue of self-respect and self-acceptance. Regardless of size, I cringe when I see 12 year old girls with boobs and butts out for the world to see. Or college co-eds trying to attract attention with their bodies, not their personalities or their minds. Or older women clinging to a vision of youth. If TRULY respecting yourself and what you have to offer this beautiful world around you means wearing a string bikini at xxx weight, go for it. But I have a hard time believing that is often the case.
The beach/vacation/the pool/ the lake etc. are often about recreation, time with family, time "away" from daily life, etc. This is an opportunity to recharge, let loose and appreciate those who bring fun into your life.
Side rant: parents-- cover up your teenage daughters! hehehe.
tapaslover I totally agree with you when it comes to being at the beach is supposed to be time away. With that being said though- wear what you feel is comfortable. people at the beach should not be there to gain sexual attention anyhow. Wearing a bikini does not mean that is what you are trying to do. It's how you carry yourself in that bikini that says the kind of attention that you are seeking. However, my 11 year old daughter is always covered, but it is SO hard to find things to keep it that way! It's almost impossible to find her shorts or skirts or bathing suits that are actually mom approved because that's what's on the market. Yes though- girls should be accepted for their mind and for their personalities NOT THEIR BODIES!!!!!
This topic really hit home for me today. I have been one who usually wears a suit that covers up as much as possible, including my fat butt and hips. I have not been in a suit in a couple of years but we are going to the lake this weekend so it is time to dig them out. The problem (a good one) is that my old suits are too big, thy are one piece and my boobs were falling out the sides (cant control the darn things, gravity takes over at my age).
Anyway, I knew that my daughter had some old suits so I asked her if I could try them on. Can you believe that one fit me? It is a two piece but the top is long so it covers my stomach. The problem? The bottoms are bikini bottoms and I really do not like how fat and jiggle my legs are. I pulled out a pair of shorts that I thought I could wear over the bottoms but the shorts are way too big. My husband and my daughter seemed to think I looked good in the suit, without the too big shorts covering the bottoms, but I just don't know if I am brave enough to wear it without shorts covering the bottoms. Maybe a few drinks at the lake will give me a confidence boost.
Wear whatever, I'm too busy judging myself to even notice you lol Honestly though I don't stare it's incredibly rude, and I just feel like the beach is the last place you should be worrying about weight. If everyone just concerned themselves with having a good time the world would be a better place imo
I'm not a huge fan of bikinis on anyone, fat or skinny, old or young, tall or short... But I don't CARE if they wear them, if I don't want to see it I won't look.
Side note, I can't stand people who judge the way other people dress. My mom and I had this dicussion last week at the beach when she said a woman shouldn't be wearing the bikini she had on because she was "like, 50 years old!". I say who cares! And don't get me started on the people who take pictures of random people they don't know just to post them on facebook and criticize what they're wearing (had someone do this the other day, took a pic of a woman they didn't know who was in shorts and a sports bra, weighed maybe 275+... they posted it on facebook and made fun of her. Sadly many other people posted on the pic making fun of the woman too...)
Just for the man comment, I have never asked but I have no women friends except like 2, the rest are men. While I have never asked, they have no problem talking about how they DON'T like to see it. Most of the time it's the women I hang with defending the other woman...the men picking it apart. So it really comes down to th individual...
It's all one big contridiction, and you nailed that on the head. The saddest part, and the truth, is that if you are overweight, you might as well just wear a sack. (eyeroll)
