OK, so I have lost about 50 pounds, give or take (I've gained due to the topic of this post) and I've begun to go out with my friends more. My confidence has definitely gone up and I can't seem to get a grip anymore. I haven't lost anything in the last couple of months and I know the reason (duh) but I can't seem to give up my weekends. I spent too much time being a self-pitying and scared fat girl to give up my fun weekends now! I'm 23 years old and I should be having fun, right? I dont want to look back on my early 20's and think I wasted them not having fun!! BUT now I can't seem to make up the difference and actually lose anymore. My plan was to be at goal by my birthday (February) but that doesn't look like it will happen! I'm lost on what to do.
Sadly only you can do this, and do it for you. Cut back partying to once a month or something, that way its something to look forward to (as a treat), and yet keeps you focused. I'm 27 and I gave it up totally for a few months, because I see it as a short term compromise for a long term goal, and it has and is paying off. Not only the calories, but severe lack of energy the next few days, instead I go to the gym every sunday, before it would be suffer in bed and ward away them demons in my sleep! I plan to go back drinking in a few weeks gradually, but commiting to it definitely worked for me. And when my friends realised why I was doing it (without me having to tell them, they noticed and copped it) they became supportive and stopped pressing me to go out with them. Now they dont ask and instead ask how long I am off it and compliment it. You are half way there, think to yourself that partying is where it got you in the first place, and you have lost 50 lbs since then and half way there and dont want to jeopardise the hard work you have done to get this far. Adidas said "Impossible is nothing".
I am 26 and have cut my partying to 1 time a month. Which also means drinking 1 time a month. My view is any good friend will support you. And instead of drinking every weekend all weekend, we shop, or hang out and watch movies, or go for walks, my best friend even calls to ask if I want to walk with her some days (she's a size 4, the girl doesn't need to walk with all she does already).
20s are suppose to be fun, believe me I know. I've been the fat girl enough. Not only that but I've actually been called it while out having fun. And, I've had guys completely ignore my hello (just being polite) when they are standing there hitting on my friends.
That for me, isn't fun. And, they say the older you get the harder it is. Maybe that isn't true I don't know, but I do know the older I get the more I use it as an excuse- oh well everyone hits a certain age and adds weight, once I'm up to (insert certain age here) I wont go out anymore and my weight wont matter.
The fact of the matter is, you can only do it if you want to. You are the only one that can control yourself. And, I've seen so many friends drink and their pant sizes just keep going up and all the do is b^&$% about it. Not me, I'm changing it.
It's really just what you want for yourself. And health wise. I want to play with my kids, and be able to chase them, and not get out of breath walking to or through a park. I want to be SEXY in my wedding dress. I want to be the girl that my boyfriends friends see and go man you got a great girl. I don't want them to be thinking wow, she's kinda big for him (he's sexy and muscular). I want to be proud of me, and do what I know I can accomplish.
Everyone has their own things, and if partying is worth it for you, by all means girl do it! But, remember partying isn't everything and if I'm going to be a 40 year old woman still out drinking with friends I want to be the HOT 40 year old woman! Just saying lol!
Last edited by ButterCup85; 06-13-2011 at 10:12 AM.
"In addition to the calories, alcohol interferes with fat burning, something important for weight loss. Normally, the liver metabolizes fats, but when a person drinks, alcohol takes preference. The liver breaks down alcohol for energy first, causing a build-up of fatty acids. What this means is that the body uses the calories supplied from alcohol before it is able to expend the calories from fat. This characteristic is referred to as "fat sparing," meaning alcohol's presence spares the fat from being utilized for energy. Alcohol also stimulates appetite in many people. This may thwart your weight loss efforts even more."
You may need to re-consider or re-define what partying means to you. I'm 22 and I didn't feel that I could entirely cut out alcohol or going out either, since my social life and friends are what keep me sane! What I did though was slowly work at re-defining what "going out" and "partying" meant to me. In the past, it probably meant anywhere from 4-8 drinks, bar food or shared appetizers, and then pigging out on additional foods like a massive poutine, tacos or pizza at 3am when we left the bar. Now, going out with friends means that I'll eat a healthy, fibre-heavy meal shortly before heading out and strictly limit myself to two drinks with reasonable calorie counts (ie. a glass of red/white wine, a shot of liquor or a beer are ok, but I skip the really sugary drinks or mixed drinks like margaritas, daiquiris etc because the calories are insane) and say no to any additional eating. It's all about compromise, moderation and balance. I still have a fantastic time, and it's helped to remind me the focus of going out is on having quality-time with great friends, enjoying those great pseudo-intellectual/philosophical drunk conversations, watching hockey, etc. and NOT about alcohol or getting drunk. This was a really healthy mind-shift for me, both physically healthy and mentally/emotionally.
I didn't just cut down on my drinks cold turkey though! What I did was first limit myself to strictly no more 4 drinks for a while, then 3 drinks, until I got myself down to a limit of two drinks. The really cool thing (well I consider it a plus, everyone might not) is that my tolerance has indeed lessened a lot and I can now get a decent buzz on just two drinks rather than the four it would have taken in the past. This is soooo good for my wallet and really saving me a lot of money. My friends also appreciate that I am often sober and clear-minded if anyone needs help and willing to act as a designated driver on some occasions.
I don't necessarily agree with the other posters above that you need to cut partying down to only once a month. That doesn't seem like very much to me, personally I think 2-3 times a month is more reasonable. Every single weekend or multiple times a week is just too often though. As suggested above, try to find some other activities to invite your friends to - bowling, hiking, minigolf, whatever - anything a bit active that doesn't usually involve booze. Good luck and cheers!
I'm 22, I feel more than obligated to go out and have fun. I love it, I love my friends, I love being young and I wasted high school years doing nothing, I can't waste my youth doing the same. Last summer (first time being legal) I lost 30lbs and went out all the time. The secret? You have to change a few things.
Go DANCING! It burns calories and you can't do it with a drink in your hand! You don't even need to get drunk to enjoy it. Some nights I just decided I was the DD and no one pestered me to drink. It was perfectly fine that all I did was dance and have fun. I do love doing that, and it's like entertaining exercise. A gym with a beat and friends.
If you do drink, get something you don't absolutely love (so you won't down it too fast), with lower calories. Like a Gin and tonic, or diet coke with rum or whiskey. Only get one and nurse it. I'm a light weight so one or two drinks makes me tipsy and I don't really like going beyond that. No one likes that annoying drunk girl anyway, they tend to be less classy and the men that hit on them are thinking they must be easy, not sexy or worth keeping. Just a one nighter, no one wants to be THAT girl.
Going to restaurants? Get something you know is low in calories, play a game, Only eat half of it and put all the dressing on the side.
Go to parks like waterworld and skip the ice cream and burgers. I bring lunch if I can (it's cheaper). Walk and swim all day, work on that tan and the swim suit can be a motivation. I use to think "One day I'll look like THOSE girls..." I really swam and enjoyed the company of my friends. It was almost a work out on its own.
Go hiking, camping, window shopping, with friends. Do lots of walking and when they stop to get ice cream or starbucks. Get something plain or water. Every now and then maybe get the frozen yogurt with no toppings. Treats are ok at times.
If your friends and you really like going out, stick to clubs. No one needs to know what you're consuming if you stay in the center and just dance. I love dancing so much and it really is a great way to burn calories without even going to the gym. I know I said that earlier, but I'm not kidding. It's fun, it's with friends, and it doesn't add any calories!
If you do splurge one weekend. just remember to throw in an extra day at the gym or run an extra mile. I lost a lot of weight last summer and I really enjoyed going out with friends. Just self control, don't drink fruity drinks or anything with extra calories (even if you LOVE the Amaretto Sour like I do) and just have fun. You can go out with friends and still lose weight.
You have got some good advice. When I was your age I would party frequently but, I exercised a lot. That may work for you. Another idea is to party smarter, no sugar drinks and no processed food snacking. See what works for you and don't let peer pressure effect your goal of weight loss.
I'm 23 but I guess the difference in me is I have Always been a social butterfly! I've never been one to let my size or anything get me down! From the time I graduated high school till about a year ago I was out every weekend, crazy fun and all that! I've since cut back a lot on that lifestyle.. mainly because I have a career now, and also because I started to focus on me! I now only go out on weekends about once a month when something is planned out with a group of friends. I am living on a budget these days so that helps on my budget as well! But I realize that since I started my journey.. there was one month I went out 3 weekends in a row due to birthday and work parties and that was the month that I lost the least amount of weight and had no progress...
I finally decided I have to do this for ME
and let the rest fall into place!
I'm 23 years old and I should be having fun, right? I dont want to look back on my early 20's and think I wasted them not having fun!!
Would you rather look back and think that you wasted your time sitting on a barstool, drinking empty calories, when you could have been working on being healthier as you headed towards middle age? There are plenty of fun things to do with friends besides drink - dancing, hiking, bowling, walking through a big museum, taking a fitness class or learning a new sport, walking and talking, etc. And if you do go to bars, there's nothing wrong with nursing a single drink, ordering relatively low-cal drinks, or alternating alcoholic drinks with water. After all - it's the company and the atmosphere, not the alcohol itself, that's important, right?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShellydeFlores
BUT now I can't seem to make up the difference and actually lose anymore. My plan was to be at goal by my birthday (February) but that doesn't look like it will happen! I'm lost on what to do.
Decide what's important to you and adjust your goals accordingly. Then work on doing what you have to do to get there.
If you maintain or continue losing now, then you'll probably reach your goal weight sooner than you would if you gained that 50 lbs back and had to lose it again.
It sounds like reaching GW by your birthday is an arbitrary goal. Even if you don't reach that weight by that particular day, you'll still have made a huge amount of progress than if you hadn't tried to lose weight at all, and all you'll have to do is set another date to aim for without having to feel bad about having stopped trying.
You ladies are fantastic. I really needed to hear a lot of this and the advice is something I will sure use!
Its funny because I use to be the DD and not really a big club goer. Now it's like thats all I want to do but you guys are right. I need to concentrate on what is really important to me and that is getting healthy. The clubs will still be there in a year, but my weight won't!!
If its any consolation I regret alot of the bar hopping I did in college. I do not handle alcohol well and did some pretty stupid things. Being the "fat drunk girl" is not becomming to anyone. If I spent those 2 years staying in, watching my calories and being down 40 pounds at the end life would be alot better. I enjoy myself MUCH more drinking moderately if at all. I feel more in control of myself.
I definitely second the suggestions to moderation! I'm in the same boat and in a new city, trying to expand my social circle so not going out on a Friday night isn't a good option. I usually have 1 drink (rum and diet coke) and then switch to straight diet coke (ask for a drink glass and no one will even know the difference). I'll have a 2nd or 3rd depending on my calorie count for the day. And eat healthy before you go out. And if you go dancing, you'll burn calories!
I've lost the 80+lbs I've lost drinking occasionally. Once a month, more than likely.... some months none, some months more than once (though never more than 2 or 3 times a month). The advice given above, for the most part, is what I stuck to and what helped me keep going through my weight loss though I was occasionally imbibing.
*Lower cal drinks.... rum and diet being my fave.
*Dance!!!!
*Make sure you still hit the gym on a regular basis, and keep your healthy way of eating. I typically will count my night out drinking (and plus whatever unhealthy White Castle-ish stop we make afterwards!) as my off diet day for the week.
*Stay away from getting completely lambasted each and every time, if possible. Not every night out has to be a totally lost in the darkness night. lol
Partying Too Much...?!
