Okay I don't have long to type this but I think I need to reach out to SOMEONE.

I literally had the WORST DAY EVER yesterday. We have a severe ADHD kid in our pre-k class who has been on meds for a while. The pharmacy ran out of the meds tuesday and he was out...and he won't be getting it until next monday. Well yesterday he was literally breaking my crayons and throwing them at the other kids, kicking me, hitting everyone, throwing food across the room....he threw an absolute fit....and then all of the other kids copied him. I was almost ready to bash my had against a wall. The class was completely out of control and there was nothing I could do to bring it back. I had about 6 kids tell me they hate me and will never talk to me again because I didn't give them happy notes to take home to their parents. It was so emotionally draining. I care so much about those kids...and it's like they didn't care that they were upsetting me. I was literally in tears and they didn't care. It really hurt.

Then I came home and ate an ice cream sunday. Then I ate whataburger. Then I ate chicken tenders, french fries, and FRIDAYS brand potato skins (they were my sisters). Then I ate a bunch of chocolate. I literally broke down and gave up and just kept eating. Needless to say I feel horrible today from all of that food, and i have to go back to work and that student will still be off meds and it will all probably be worse and I don't know if I can handle it.

I've got to go, I should have been getting ready for work 10 minutes ago. I think I just really need some encouragement and support right now. I'm a little bit apathetic about this whole diet right now.

Divine - I hate kids...lol

Ferumbras - good luck with the doctor.

fatpants - give me your motivation to work out please!!!!

Krampus - oh I know how you feel, this lady brougth in these really yummy chewy candies into work and I thought to myself I'll jus have one...I couldn't stop eating them! Seriously its like you can NEVER just have one! I'm not a huge candy person to begin with or even a chocolate person, but those soft chewy candies you can get in a cup at 7/11 are sooo good! It's better to just say no then to just "taste" it...

Sweets - You know I feel for you, I'm not suppose to step on the scale until saturday but **** I have a feeling I'm back up in weight lately it's just been a binge binge binge unhappy stress factor and I don't know what the **** is doing it! I'd like to go back to when I was in my second year of college and start all over, but a year later I was up to the weight I'm at now, and then two years down the road I was 20 pounds up more...It's like this never ending vicious cycle and I'm slowly killing myself with disgusting processed food and other stuff.

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I think this morning having two jobs took a toll on me, This week I only had monday off from job number 2, and I usually get monday and thursdays off and I seem to do well, but when they have me working straight until this monday coming up I feel exhausted and this morning I was so drained. I feel better now...I'm back to drinking energy drinks and yesterday my diet was okay until I binged out on spinage dip and pita bread...FML...I tried working out yesterday I did 15 minutes...I guess thats better then nothing right? Lately I'm so emotionally drained I just feel like I can't do this **** anymore it's like where does it end, why the **** am I NOT down to 140 yet it's been a damn year. Maybe I need to do some retail therapy for my hot new outfit I want which I hope i'm smaller then a size 9, maybe that will help me go Oh baby!

DivineFidelity, that's a lot for any teacher to handle. I'll keep my fingers crossed that your student has a better day and that he can get back on his medicine ASAP, not only for your sanity, but for the productivity of your class, in general. As far as the overeating, we've all been there. Take it as a lesson learned and move on. I'd probably have eaten a whole bag of Dove Chocolates + what you ate given the circumstances, so you handled that better than I would have.

What a NIGHTMARE! Jeez, I can't imagine having to control all those children. Remember, kids aren't quite as aware of the emotions of adults, so they are easy to get out of control. I know some people stray away from certain methods of teaching, but I think you need to put them in their place. You need to adopt a strict rule over them when they get out of control, but be caring and nurturing when they have good behaviour.

Is there any way you can get someone else in to help you out with the ADHD kid? Sounds like he needs specific 1 to 1 attention while he isn't on his meds and it's a strain on you when you're looking after so many children.

Please don't take their actions to heart sweety, they really don't know any better. I'm sure they don't hate you, they're just being easily influenced by the crazy kid! I know you care about them and that's why it affected you, but remember you are their teacher. You are a leader and a role model, you need to stay strong, be in command and show them who's boss during these difficult situations. It doesn't make you a horrible person, because when they behave you can be just as caring as you are normally.

As for the eating, it happens. Just take it in your stride, move forward and get back on track. We're all climbing a mountain here, and it's common for us to trip up when the path is so steep - but we can do it. Get a good work out in, make sure you don't have access to such binge worthy food around you for a while and keep positive. You're doing an amazing job so far, 26 lbs is astounding work. Don't let this one set back make you think like you've erased all that hard work - it hasn't!

Hope you feel better and that you manage today at work. Stay strong!

DivineFidelity, that is absolutely wretched. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I absolutely HATE children yet even I couldn't deal with hearing hurtful words on top of dealing with misbehavior. Seriously hope you'll never have such a crappy day ever again.

MiZ I hear your frustration, I was "supposed" to be 115 in March but instead I'm 10 lbs up from December. The important thing I guess is that we are too proud to gain it all back. Timelines and goal dates don't always work according to plan.

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Today was nicely on plan, the first such day in...oh jeez, way over a week. Calories and exercise were pretty good and food was mostly clean. We'll see in the morning how much bloat/binge weight falls off overnight. My prediction is between 1-1.5 kg.

I agree and I think lately I'm just obsessing over everything including my weight and you know when I start to obsess and truely think about weight loss it becomes a burden and I end up losing all control then I do when I'm carefree and like meh whatever.

thanks everyone for the wonderful words of encouragement. The kids were so much better today....its like they were completely different people. I think my one ADHD student mist have been back on his meds because he was one of the most well behaved kids in the class. The only kid I had trouble with was our autistic student, but he was trying and can't help some of the things that he does, so overall it was a wonderful day. I even got a flower from one of my students with a card from his father saying thank you for acting as his kid's mother in her absence (the boy's mother died from breast cancer a year ago). It really made my day.

I hope everyone else had a wonderful day too.

divinefidelity - so sorry you had such a terrible, draining day yesterday, but it sounds like today was a welcome change! and as others have said, i think the most important thing to do after overeating is to learn from it, and remember that you can't undo (or fix) anything in one day

whew - my arms are so sore. Just had 2 workouts with my trainer (one yesterday, one today). I think I'm gonna "try" to push myself to do one of those spin classes at the gym this weekend so I can up my cardio/fat burning. My diet I've been working on and so far not "too" bad besides from the bowl of vector cereal I had this morning. But I made some sushi - california rolls - and then I had my protein shake that I made for my post-workout. Me and Miz are going to see a movie tonight and I'm totally gonna skip out on the popcorn which I never do!

Finally my Friday, and it really is Friday!
Got a few more hours of work and then off to San Diego to see my boy. We're driving out to Yuma, AZ to get his motorcycle and then back to SD for sun and fun. I hate this whole once-every-two-weeks thing. I've been really good all week with working out and eating well. Hopefully I can stay as close to on-plan as possible while with him and see a whoosh! when I get home. Come on 135.0

divinefidelity - So glad to hear they were better today. I don't know how this all works but a student who is medicated for a disruptive disorder (like ADHD) in my opinion has no place in the classroom without their meds. I would have asked the parents to keep him home sick, which he essentially is, in order to preserve the classroom dynamic. But then again, this is probably why I'm not a teacher.

MiZ- Don't let "I should be x weight by now" thoughts get you down. This journey is never linear and we all must accept that other things in life will claim priority over weight loss and cause us to stall or even re-gain. The important thing is to be healthy. I think retail therapy is in order, get something cute and just snug enough to motivate you

Krampus - yay for on-plan and glad you're back!

Sweets- enjoy the movie! I feel you on the muscle soreness, my arms are killing me from Wednesday's workout.

fromthebox - we're not allowed to ask the parents to keep the kids home for things like that because it's a private school and the parents are paying for their kid to be there a certain number of days every week...and we can't refund for the day because the money already went to the teacher's paychecks...so we just have to let him be there. We can remove him from the classroom, but there is really no where for him to go because he would do the same thing in any other classroom and the school director and assistant director are too busy to spend their whole day watching one kid....so we just have to suck it up and deal with it. It's not fun, but that's just how it has to be.

Someone asked if we could get extra help for him when he's like that...well we can't. The school cannot afford to hire any more teachers right now and we already don't have a mini-gym teacher anymore (we have to take the kids into the gym and do it ourselves). The school isn't getting as many donations as it used to and there just isn't money for extra teachers right now.

My boyfriend is taking me out tonight for a "surprise" and to be ready when he gets home. It'll be our one year around this time (didn't have an actual date as we just became official throughout a couple of a weeks of dating - no actual date was said/made). Sooo I am going to order strictly HEALTHY stuff as I'm trying to conquer this clean eating! Wish me luck That being said - I didn't order a popcorn yesterday at the movies - I did get one huge slice of pizza with a large ice tea - not the best, but I've been craving pizza for a week and instead of ordering a whole pizza, one slice will do. And compared to what I used to get - one LARGE bag of movie popcorn with butter (shared with my bf)... I do think it was the better option

I'm up 6 pounds. aha...Thats is all.

@SweetScrumptions: Oohh!! That sounds delightful! Enjoy yourself.
(yes, stay good, but #1: enjoy yourself)

Whoot - haven't been to dinner yet but I had a NSV at lunch today. I was hungry, didn't eat breakfast because I slept in and I was running errands. So I thought - eh lets drop by McD's and get a cheeseburger, maybe 2. Kept telling myself I deserved it blah blah blah. Well I read a post on here this morning about someone who said that there's a lot of steps to take in order to get what you want (ie. walk to grocery store, go down grocery aisle, find what you want, buy it, walk home... then eat it) and during any one of those steps - you have the option to opt out! Well I was driving, almost got there.. and thought NO I can opt out now... and so I did. I went over to subway and got a healthy sub... so yay.... bye bye food demons!