I've noticed the same thing that Everlasting mentioned. My skinnier friends didn't seem to think I needed to be on a diet, and tried many times to convince me to go out to eat with them and stuff. Needless to say I don't talk to many of them anymore. I have a feeling that for a lot of them, I was the fat friend that they hung around so they would always look better compared to the people they were standing next. It's bad, but that's how it felt.
I have a few very close friends who are also obese, and who are trying to take this journey as well. On friend lost a lot and has now gained it all back and then some. She's starting over around now, the same time that I'm starting over. I originally lost a lot more then her, and my gaining had nothing to do with her and had a lot to do with my current boyfriend and getting comfortable....but I honestly wish she had slapped me and said "what the **** are you doing?!" and saved me the 50 pounds I've gained back. I was down to 180...my lowest weight for as long as I can remember, and then I started dating my boyfriend who had been my best friend for 8 years and after being with him for a year and being completely comfortable and losing focus on my health, I'm back up to 231. I don't know if maybe she was jealous I had been able to lose like 70 pounds when she only lost about 20 before she started gaining again and so she didn't say anything when i started gaining...I've often wondered about that.
I don't really know where I'm going with all of this. I guess what I am trying to say is that your weight loss journey is a personal journey and that you shouldn't worry what anyone else thinks about it. I know from past experiences if you have the wrong motivation or if you rely on outside sources and praise for that motivation, you're a lot more likely to struggle with your weight. If you make it a personal thing and don't let yourself care what anyone else says, it can make things a lot easier.
I feel that I am very lucky in my journey right now. I'm not really friends with many women in real life-I've always been more of a 'hang with the guys' type of girl. My hubby and I have mutual guy friends that have been awesome about my weight loss. My friend Jonathan especially. He's a skinny fit little thing, but is one of my best friends. He supported me and was awesome when I wasn't losing and now that I am he totally is. Now we talk about what we each did that day for workouts, and someday we plan to run a marathon together! We're also planning to both go running on the track (and hubby if he will get off the couch!). Last time I saw him, we were playing D&D and he said, "Man, you're really sticking to your guns! You're doing so great!" I guess I just don't have many women friends around now that I'm losing weight-and everyone around me has been supportive. Of course, my father in law doesn't understand it sometimes and brings home sweets but he's always impressed that I turned them down; I couldn't have done that a year ago. Don't let those unsupportive people get you down. You're doing amazingly.
Last edited by fatferretfanatic; 04-22-2011 at 11:49 AM.
I feel that I am very lucky in my journey right now. I'm not really friends with many women in real life-I've always been more of a 'hang with the guys' type of girl.
I'm in the same boat. If we hang out with a couple or a lot of couples, I end up talking with the guys about baseball, video games, etc. So, there's no one to really be unsupportive of my weightloss.
I don't really talk about it too much though. Occassionally something will come up about food, or food choices and no one makes a big deal out of it. If someone did, I'm the type that would just ask what they were thinking, or why they chose to say whatever they did. My response would depend on theirs. If they're rude, I have no reason to be around them. Life is too short to have crappy people bringing you down.
I have had tons of problems with people being unsupportive towards me, probably because (like someone said at some point) I've always been 'the fat friend' who made them feel better if they put on a couple of pounds. My friends who've known me the longest have actually been the worst. One girl got really angry with me for thinking I needed to lose weight, despite the fact that I'm obese and clearly need to do it for my health more than anything. I think some people do find change really difficult, and they're so used to me being big that they don't want things to be different. I'll stay friends with them. I just know that they're not the ones to go to about weight loss issues.
Luckily I have never had problem with friends so far, even though I was scared my friends may feel threatened the status quo was going to be disrupted, they never did. They were supportive all the way.
That said I have met my share of aggressive people. I have a coworker that she is becoming snider and snider with her remarks on what I eat ever since I have started losing weight. The more I lose, the more *****y she becomes. Personally I don't know why she becomes so *****y (she once told me that I should't eat while I was eating a 100 calorie cereal bar) since she is like super skinny so I don't know what her problem is really.
Thanks for the advice and support, ladies. It's good to hear others' experiences and also to feel really supported here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amberelise
Scout, you don't actually live in one of the buildings that's in your profile pic do you? Those are the ones on LSD, yeah? I went for an interview in a guy's home there once and the place is INSANE!!!
Regardless, maybe make some more friends who will totally want to hear about your weight loss! If you work downtown near the loop, I'd be up for having a walking buddy during lunch or after work!
Ah, no I wish I live there! I took that picture from a boat. And I'm totally down for a walking buddy! My lunches are usually quick (at my desk, boooo), but I like to walk south from River North after work. The next month or so is super busy for me, but let's try to keep up with each other and set something up for after that!
I actually don't talk about it until I get asked. I feel weird talking about it who is not doing it. One reason why I like this board so much! My BF is losing weight too, so of course we are talking but it was sure odd when his parents were asking us about details of the weight loss journey on the weekend.
I have had such bad attitude from women it's just shocking. I never realised how much friends would feel threatened by me stealing their shine, and I find the competitiveness very odd and difficult to get used to.
